Asperger Jokes

[jackmt]

An old man was having a movie made from his autobigraphy. He hired a casting firm to find well known actors to portray him at the various stages in his life. They went all around Hollywood talking up his book and movie script and came back saying "Great news! We got Keanu Reaves to portray you in your younger years, Michael Palin in your middle years, and Woody Allen in your old age." The man became enraged and fired them on the spot. Stunned, the agent asked why. "You people have been going around town casting Aspergians on my character!"

 

[jackmt]

Aspie. Isn't that just a little snake?

 

[LovedSparrow]

There are 2500-3000 types of snakes in the world. The Class is reptiles. There are families of snakes: Columbridae, Boidae, Elipidae, Viperidae, Hydrophiidae. There are green snakes, brown snakes.....

 

[jackmt]

Answered like a true Aspie!
BTW, these first 3 are my own jokes. And don't let me be the only poster, please.

 

[jackmt]

There are 3 main subtypes of Asperger's Syndrome. The first, typified by the rude man who just doesn't know when to shut up, is known as Pain-in-the-Asperger's Syndrome. The 2nd, characterized by the one who couldn't care less about how you're doing but only wants the facts, is known as Joe Friday Syndrome. The 3rd, characterized by the guy who'd rather chase girls than debate the relative merits of string theory, is known as Aspervert's Syndrome.

 

[jackmt]

Somebody else out there must have a sense of humor about their Aspieness.

Q. How many Aspies does it take to change a light bulb?
A1. What does weight have to do with it?

A2. Aspies don't like change.

A3. You don't change a lightbulb, you replace it.
A3a. You do if you paint it. (Can't you just see Sheldon giving this answer?)

There are many answers. What's yours?

 

[dayhiker]

Jack ... I like .. I don't think I've every heard a Aspie joke before. I've certianly not created any.

 

[jackmt]

Jack ... I like .. I don't think I've every heard a Aspie joke before. I've certianly not created any.

No time like the present.

 

[jackmt]

There are 2500-3000 types of snakes in the world. The Class is reptiles. There are families of snakes: Columbridae, Boidae, Elipidae, Viperidae, Hydrophiidae. There are green snakes, brown snakes.....

A similar anwer is warranted in the "How many Aspies does it take to change a lightbulb?" department, and I think you are the one to provide it. I await your response with bated breath.

 

[jackmt]

If an Aspie started to pontificate on the relative merits of String Theory while in the woods in early spring, how quickly would the trees leave?

 

[LovedSparrow]

Heh? I only understood the string part. Is it yarn, twine, crocheting string, and trees? Is it a maple? Oak? Pine? Tall? Short? Old? Young?



I'm not good at Aspie jokes. You're knocking them out of the park! Baseball park? Football park? What's it have to do with a park?

P.S. What's the answer?

 

[Sabertooth]

Q: "Why shouldn't people be so hard on Aspies when they make a social faux pas...?"

A: "Because they have autistic license...!"

 

[LovedSparrow]

Q: "Why shouldn't people be so hard on Aspies when they make a social faux pas...?"

A: "Because they have autistic license...!"

 

[catzetier]

Q: "Why shouldn't people be so hard on Aspies when they make a social faux pas...?"

A: "Because they have autistic license...!"

Also .

My answer to the lightbulb thing, if anyone's interested, was "What?"

 

[jackmt]

Also .

My answer to the lightbulb thing, if anyone's interested, was "What?"

Watt? Watt? You sound like a light bulb, but are you bright enough to be one?

 

[catzetier]

Watt? Watt? You sound like a light bulb, but are you bright enough to be one?

Probably not. It wasn't "what" as in "watt" - it was "what?" as in "I don't understand all the other possibilities..." and what does weight have to do with it?

 

[jackmt]

Probably not. It wasn't "what" as in "watt" - it was "what?" as in "I don't understand all the other possibilities..." and what does weight have to do with it?

Light bulb vs. lightbulb.

 

[dayhiker]

I like

 

[Cooch]

It's a light globe, and sitting in the dark is good for me....

 

[LovedSparrow]

Globe? As in a snow globe or a globe of the world? Watt does weight of a globe sitting in the dark have to do with it?