Hi! many of you know me as Holly Hobbie or Laura in the chat room. I wasn't sure how to get my testimony posted so I started a new post
Here goes, I was born to an alcoholic father and a Godly mother, The youngest twin and the youngest of what would eventually become 8 children.
My dad died when I was 2 leaving my mom to raise 3 small children .
My twin sister and I were in and out of the hospital for the first 2 yrs of our lives , one illness spinal menengitis almost killed me, but God had other plans
My parents noticed early on that I was not developing as normally as my sister was,and took me to the doctor where I was diagnosed as having water on my brain
The doctors told my mom and dad that I would not make it to the age of 5 and if I did I would never read or write other than block form if I wrote at all
As you can see their diagnosis was wrong ;D
I was later diagnosed as having partial use of my "corpus Colossum"
To put that in english one side of my brain works faster than the other. think of it as a bridge that dosen't connect. It has caused disabilities such as dyslexia, bad depth perception problems and other learning disabilities of which I have over come most of the
As I said my dad died when I was 2 then my mom married my step dad when I was 6. My sisters and I were adopted by my step dad in 1982
my dad and my biological father each had kids from a previous marriage which brought the total of us kids to 8. I grew up in a baptist church and was saved at the age of 9 after watching a film about the rapture called "A theif in the night" I prayed and asked Christ into my heart and life that night.my mom led me to the Lord.
As I said I had many disabilities (mostly learning) disabilities growing up and my parents had me in and out of many different Christian schools.
I flunked 1st and 4th grade and would have flunked 5th , had my parents not been informed a Christian school 45 minutes away . That had 2 special needs classes
I was tested and placed in a classrom with 5 other students, with disabilities that ranged from mild retardation to down syndrome,because I had the mildest disability and the highest IQ in the class I was given twice as much seat work and homework.
The teacher was a German lady who as soon as she found out my step dad is part Russian Jew and part Indian, I became dirt in her eyes.
She began to physically and verbally abuse me and to make matters worse I would ride to and from school every day with a man I'll call "Lance".
Who not only was a friend of the family,but he was also my then Pastor's father in law . Lance was a highschool bible teacher at the school, I was 12 yrs old and in 6th grade when Lance began to take advantage of my innocence and began sexually abusing me this went on for months before and after school. It was also around the time the abuse started that my favorite Aunt who was like a second mother to me committed suicide . I was devistated, I had very little self esteem as it was before I started going to that school but what I had was destroyed with in a few short weeks after I started going to that school.
I went to my parents to tell them what "lance" was doing to me shortly after the abuse started.but after listening to his side of the story they decided they didn't beleive me,and the abuse continued to get worse
finally a couple months later I approached them this time hysterically and told them most of what Lance was doing to me ,ashamed and terrified to tell them every thing. It was then that they beleived me and confronted him again although I wasn't allowed near him he still would come up to me and talk to me or smile at me.When my parents weren't around
My parents decided to keep me at the school and in the same class under "Sally's" teaching inspite of the verbal, physical and emotional abuse. that she was inflicting .
It was there that I began to entertain thoughts of suicide and I began to abuse my body. I spent many years obsessed with suicide and hurting myself and only recently have been freed from that part of my past
I became so bitter towards myself my family and others that I even plotted a murder but God made sure that those plans had more holes than swiss Cheese
I now years later have come to forgive those who have hurt me and God has shown me that I am a valuable person I am not that evil serpent that I grew up beleiving that I was . I did not ask to be abused .
I have since over the past 20 yrs lost not only my aunt to suicide but a dear freind , a teacher I admired and the latest one My grandpa Rose who took his live 2 weeks before my daughter was born, I was on restriction and was not able to attend my grandpa's funeral which was nearly 8 hrs away in Kentucky so I never really got to say good bye
. Things have not been easy over the past nearly 33 yrs of my life . My marriage of 7.5 year nearly crumbled 6 months ago alot of serious mistakes were made and I have had to learn to forgive my husband and learn to love him all over again.
Since I have chosen to forgive my husband, God has really gotten a hold of both of us and has and still is mending deep wounds I now can say that my love for my husband is back and growing deeper each and every day !
My husband is serving the Lord now and is even putting me to shame in a way with his bible reading.
We have learned and are learning to let God change each other and work on ourselves.
God is awsome , I currently struggle with a lot of health problems including Bi Polar depression there are times when it seems to get the best of me but God pulls me through these attacks , though I recently made a couple foolish choices with my medications . I am back on them and in time will notice an improvement I just need to keep my eyes focused on my Jesus !!!
Friend if you are suicidal or have been through what I have been through or other devasting things, Know this:
That God loves you no matter what youve have gone through or what we've done.
He is there with open arms all you have to do is go to him and pray.
If you haven't prayed and asked him to forgive you of your sins do so today, you may not have tomorrow
life is short
God says in his word the Bible that if we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (all the bad things we have done
Thanks for letting me share and if you like to know more about how God has turned the ashes of my past into pure Gold feel free to respond to this .
I look forward to hearing from you may God bless you
Love In Christ
HollyHobbie
(Laura)
