I've had 30+ years to research, think and pray over my own views on theology and eschatology, and as I've said before, you seem to keep implying that you just can't imagine that I've actually grappled with a number of theologies and their philosophical underpinnings.
Just like I don't know what you've specifically studied in systematic fashion, you may want to refrain from assuming that you can guess what I've studied, and whether I've done so in a systematic fashion or in a more aggregate manner.
This isn't to say that I haven't attempted to approach Eschatology in wholesale fashion over the years as do some of the more vibrant Dispensationalists, but my studies have led me to think that I might not be able to fashion a systematic, comprehensive conceptual canon or any kind of prophetic time-line from various Apocalyptic passages in Scripture, or extra-biblical literature, or even from a little of what can be found in some of the other World Religions.
No, I think all we can do is apply as many modes of Hermeneutical and Philosophical consideration that we can and then pray for the best.
As for just how "life-denying" or "inauthentic" my approach to living in this world is, everyone here is free to test my point of view if they wish, but I'm skeptical as to just how much of those tests will actually demonstrate deficiencies in my own theology VERSUS simply demonstrating circumstances in which something I have to say just happens to be a something that someone else 'dislikes' hearing.
If you or anyone else wants to place an accusation of Sartrean 'bad-faith' upon me, well then, have at it! I've never claimed to have all of the answers anyway, and if I don't, then the humanitarian thing to do, in my estimation, is to refer me to some additional authoritative sources by which I might grow in my thinking rather than simply telling me, with condescension, that I seem to be "oblivious" to some eschatological or other religious field of thought.