- Jun 22, 2007
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I disagree that men place a higher value on sex. I think culturally this is acceptable so we teach our daughters sex is bad while encourage our boys in having sex. Not individually as parents but certainly in a social aspect we do. For example, if a man has sex with many women he is seen as a "player" which has been seen as a positive.....however if a woman is seen as promiscuous she is seen as less than. Indirectly we teach our women that they are supposed to have as lower drive then men.
I agree with you if sexual desires are not met at a satisfactory level a man will not be happy. However piggy backing off your example if you have a couple that has great sex life, bad communication, economically stable....the whole nine yards, they will still be unhappy because the communication isn't there.
If sex is the main reason why men get married that probably explains the divorce rates. That probably is why there is equally as many divorces in the church as there is in the world. However let's take the church out of this. If many men marry for sex why is it that people in the secular world get married? I mean it is acceptable for people in the world to have sex before marriage if that was the big plus shouldn't it stop people that are already having sex from getting married?
People in general want a partner that is respectful of all their needs and wants. Sex is part of a marriage but I doubt that mentally emancipated christians men value sex on the same level as communication, companionship, growth and love.
I want a best friend, that has my back and I have her's, I want a family, I want someone to talk all day with, someone to travel with, someone to pray with, someone to share with. To me sex isn't a main reason or even a high priority in marriage.
Don't get me wrong sex is a good thing and it keeps the husband and wife connected and renews a covenant, however to use another human being simple for personal relief isn't love. My wife's job isn't to appease my fleshly desires it's to be a virtuous woman.
I think we as christians have to move away from natures desires and move towards godly desires. When I read a song of solomon it was two people desiring each other sexually, as it should be. When one spouse doesn't desire the other spouse and they have sex out of obligation it takes out the love and replaces it with law. To me it's similar to the Pharisees, there is a law to be in love. Love will always come before law.
I totally agree with this and thought these are all excellent points. Well said, Avniel.
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