Are there ANY Happy Marriages ?

[annafullofgrace]

Yes, we are! Just celebrated 16 years yesterday...we are happy and stronger than ever.

 

[annafullofgrace]

Yes, we are! Just celebrated 16 years yesterday...we are happy and stronger than ever.

I feel like I should add to this...my husband I were friends first for quite awhile. More than a year and even though we didn’t plan it, we certainly courted. We became best friends before any emotions were involved. I do think that that makes a difference..friendship. We are still very close best friends as well as being married. We still talk for hours and never seem to run out of things to talk about. I have quite a few friends who do not believe that being friendship or close friends with their husband is important, but they also admit this seems to hurt their marriage.

 

[Humble me Lord]

Married to my best friend for 17 years, and yes, we are both happy. We dated for only a year, but knew we were who God intended for each other from the start.

I believe the key to a long successful marriage is the presence of God in it.
What I mean is, God as the head of it, and the way He meant a marriage to work.
Both husband and wife equally yoked and not based on feelings.
The husband can be the head of the household without being abusive.

 

[*LILAC]

He's put up with me for 24 years of wedded bliss. He has no choice BUT to be happy! mwahahaha!

 

[RedPonyDriver]

People looking for "happiness" will never find it. Life is messy, chaotic, frustrating and rarely "happy". If you're looking for what's more important (and biblical) try contentment. Being content in all situations is what you want to have. I've been married for 20 years. Have I been "happy" for the 20 years we've been married? No. I've been angry, frustrated, anxious, occasionally terrified...but not "happy" for 20 years. But through it all, I've been CONTENT...knowing that this is where I am supposed to be and with whom I'm supposed to be.

 

[JackRT]

People looking for "happiness" will never find it. Life is messy, chaotic, frustrating and rarely "happy". If you're looking for what's more important (and biblical) try contentment. Being content in all situations is what you want to have. I've been married for 20 years. Have I been "happy" for the 20 years we've been married? No. I've been angry, frustrated, anxious, occasionally terrified...but not "happy" for 20 years. But through it all, I've been CONTENT...knowing that this is where I am supposed to be and with whom I'm supposed to be.

Thank you for that wonderful reply.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

No marriage is without problems, but we've lasted almost 10 years now and there's no end in sight.

 

[WolfGate]

Yes. 29 years.

 

[Mountainmike]

My wife and I were friends first, ... and that friendship eventually developed into romance.

I think that young people today need good examples of successful marriage. Marriage partners need to be willing to live sacrificially for one another (in other words, it's not about ME, it's about US). It takes a while for people to get to that point today. I wouldn't be in a rush, if it was me.

You hit the essence of it. US

We too were girlfriend and boyfriend for years before marriage, so the relationship was based on other than sex.
Still going strong 40 years on,

 

[Tropical Wilds]

People looking for "happiness" will never find it. Life is messy, chaotic, frustrating and rarely "happy". If you're looking for what's more important (and biblical) try contentment. Being content in all situations is what you want to have. I've been married for 20 years. Have I been "happy" for the 20 years we've been married? No. I've been angry, frustrated, anxious, occasionally terrified...but not "happy" for 20 years. But through it all, I've been CONTENT...knowing that this is where I am supposed to be and with whom I'm supposed to be.

On the flip side, I have a chaotic, frustrating, and exhausting life, but I’d still say I found happiness. Even when I’m unhappy with life or myself or even my husband, beneath that is happiness. It feels exactly like being at the top of a mountain and being in the clouds where it’s dark, cold, and miserable... But going down the mountain a bit, being under the clouds, you see there’s sun and trees and it’s actually quite beautiful. I think that’s why some of the worst moments of my life are actually also some of my favorite, most comforting, happiest marital moments. I’m even going to double down and say that the worst moment in my life also is the moment I go back to the most as the happiest time of our marriage.

But I think happiness isn’t an all or nothing thing. I don’t subscribe to either I’m happy with it all or I’m happy with none of it. There have been times where I’m unequivocally, desperately depressed/sad/unhappy with my life or my situation, but am still throughly, desperately, and completely happy with my marriage.

 

[mkgal1]

I'd say we qualify as a "happily married couple" . We've been married for 28 years now (and were close friends for several years prior to dating). I also feel we can breathe a little easier these days as our [adult] child is grown and on her own (and really is a great person that we're both very proud of).

I really have an aversion to the Christian teaching that "you shouldn't strive to be happy in marriage...it's about holiness". To me that sounds too much like the brand of Christianity that was based on who could could hurt themselves the most (he who endures the most pain = holy). The flagellants. I just can't buy into that (and it honestly upsets me to hear that message spread). I certainly never expected LIFE to be a bed of roses.....but, for the most part, our spouse shouldn't be the one that's causing chaos and destruction in our lives!

 

[MoneyGuy]

Happily married for 39 years so yeah there are happy marriages.

Lots of them.

 

[Odetta]

Yes, 21 years come June.

Although I have to say, if someone is basing their perception on the prevalence of happy marriages on the kinds of, and amount of, negative posts that appear on this forum, their perception will be warped. Most people aren't posting all the details of their happy married lives, while people with problems in their marriage do post for advice. Most of the posts on this forum are advice seeking. I doubt that they represent the whole of married humanity.

 

[mkgal1]

Just to add to what Odetta just posted: a long time ago someone began a thread here titled something like, "Happy Marriage thread" and, if I recall correctly, it died off after about 5 responses of people merely repeating the same thing ("yes....we're happy! I love my husband/wife"). I mean.....what else is there to add (that others want to read)? Oh...and thinking more of past threads over the years: there was another one that was about marital testimonies. One of my favorite stories was a couple that worked VERY hard in turning their marriage around after an affair. Someone had commented that it was a "very negative" post. Some people are only satisfied with unrealistic stories with NO conflicts ever. Personally, I don't consider a relationship solid unless there's been some sort of conflict that's been dealt with in a way that BOTH were satisfied with the outcome.

 

[mkgal1]

I did go back and read old threads here. What I found that's interesting is that there were a few of us that have lived through originally believing a few untruths about marriage (and, once we came to realize the lack of truth, we were able to experience a LOT of improvement in our marriages by following truth). Whenever we'd try to explain why some beliefs were harmful--and just not true (and the destruction is on a sliding scale)....we were met with heaps of argument. The consensus from their side was (basically): "we're discussing overall 'good' marriages....not lousy marriages...so maybe a qualifier ought to be made in the type of marriage we're discussing". My question to that was, "How do marriages go from 'good' to 'unhappy'?" I doubt many people commit to a marriage that they KNOW is "unhappy" from the start. Also--just like my signature quote says, "it's either true everywhere or it's not true anywhere".

**Ironically....looking back in those threads, many of the people claiming to have "happy" marriages that hadn't endured any hardship (that were argumentative with the group of us trying to steer people away from untrue beliefs) are now divorced ....while those of us who were dismissed for "having gone through difficulty"--implying we didn't know what "happy" truly is and shouldn't comment-- are still married.

 

[songz777]

From a posting to "Singles only" ...

Hi yes we are happily married. Why? I think for us is that we allowed the Lord to guide us to each other and be willing to wait as many years as the Lord deemed best. We pray together and seek to put each other first and also allow each other to have our time out me running and adventure stuff my wife shopping and being the girls

 

[faroukfarouk]

A very happy marriage here! Started dating in 2006, got married in 2011, and we are celebrating 7 years in July. I married my best friend and love spending (almost) every single day with him He's kind and caring... affectionate and takes care of me. No regrets about marrying him.

Sounds like you are truly blessed!

By God's grace, my wife and I are truly blessed also!

 

[PeachieKeen]

Newly married but been together for 3 years- there are definitely challenging days and its not always easy to understand one another, but with a desire to communicate and care for one another it's a very happy thing indeed. And holy cow, doing household tasks is soooo much easier married it turns out!

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

This is why I wish we could respond on the single forum. The problem with many singles today is they cannot find anyone because of themselves. But they don't notice they are holding themselves back. They are to busy with a "Must have" list in a spouse thats a mile long and had sometimes ridiculous things on it. Singles need to let go of what they want and let God bring them someone at the right time who He sees is for them. They also have to stop making an idol of finding a spouse, it means less attention on God. Also they should ignore how fairy tales go of they happy couple gets married and its happily ever after. I'm sure if movies were made of Cinderella for example AFTER she married, you'd she everything isn't 100% perfect.

To the question of "Are there happy marriages", I think they think of happy as perfect. Theres no such thing as a perfect marriage. This life is imperfect and has times when you will not be happy. There are marriages that are successful though on the other hand. But successful I hope they realize doesn't mean perfect, it just means the couple has been through trials and they are still together and doing good. Trials will still come but they will be happy until "death do us part".

I know in my marriage of almost 5 years now we are doing great. Sure we had some trials at first since she was from another country. But now we are pretty much trial free (aside from trials of living at home). We are always happy, loving, romantic...etc. We now know each other well enough that I can guess what she is going to say and vica versa.

 

[Mayflower1]

Happy marriage. 3 years.