Anyone else with OCD do this?

[Nickieb03]

I say phrases to myself...like "I love *insert boyfriends full name here*" when I get the thought or "Jesus please help me"...I've also noticed I mumble alot to myself...like today I was like "What if I stab my boyfriend cause he makes me so mad?" "What if I'm really a psycho" "What if OCD is just something people made up for neurotic people like me?" "What if a car hits me as i'm driving" and the most famous one lately "What if i'm possessed and need an exorcism?" "What if God hates me because of all the sins I did?"

I'm tired of this...my brain wont shut off and the thoughts come when I don't want them too and I'm trying to stop them I really am but they still come and I have a short window when i'm free and have no thoughts but they come right back and the anxiety happens again and the thoughts and i'm back in my own personal hell.

Can OCD be a demon in someones brain? I just feel sooo alone sometimes with this war going on in my head. I pray every night for this suffering to be over. I know Saint Michael will protect me some day from all of this.

 

[singpeace]

What I do is count. I just count everything... number of swallows, bites before swallowing, steps while walking, and even each beat of a song that gets stuck in my head. Eventually, I say to myself, "Stop counting!" This helps. Medication helps more. God helps most.

 

[Nickieb03]

Medication helps more. God helps most.

Medication isn't helping me and God...I'm asking, begging and praying but I think he put me on hold right now lol But I gotta have faith don't I? I gotta keep the hope he'll make me better.