Any ideas

[Redstiletto]

I am a big sister volunteer for big brother big sister of America, I am on my second match with a young girl. My first one went like a breeze we had no complications, she just became to busy... but that is another topic for another thread.

My current little, cuts herself when she gets upset. We have talked about it many times, and many times we have made promises that she has broken. She doesn't cut deep, just enough to break the skin. So I am not worried about her being suicidal, and I know she is not, she has said it helps her relieve stress.

Which I can understand, I used to do it too. Except I didn't do it for attention, mine were hidden and I was ashamed of them. She wears them out for all to see, which is how I first learned about them.

I don't know what to do, I have tried everything, my next step is to contact our social worker through BBBS of America, and see what she says.

My little's guardians think it is a phase that she will get over and that she is doing it for attention, which is what I am starting to think.

I just cant get her to stop though. Its come to the point now where she is hiding them from me, not telling me anymore. But I always find out, once a cutter you can see the fresh and old cut lines, you know how old they are.

I have tried threatening, being comforting, nothing is helping!

Please anyone have any advice?

Nic

 

[Bevlina]

I think your little one there is frustrated and is seeking something to take her mind off herself but doesn't know what it is. It's very very hard to be able to come to terms with the knowledge that you may have a litle one who self harms, but, I think that seeing the cuts are not breaking the skin she will recover from this once her frustration has been released, whatever that may be. I am not a Doctor, but I do think that frustration and inner grieving plays a big part in SI Stilletto.
Can you introduce her to a hobby which will take her mind off SI? She really needs to be in a group where others do these things so she can talk about this SI and release any tension which may be inside her I think.

 

[Redstiletto]

She is in many sports, I was her cheerleading coach for the last four months, that is how we met. She is in track, cross country and soccer so she stays busy.

She gets to go on these trips with school to differnet states adn stuff so she stays active.

It's just like her dirty little secret or something. I don't know. I just want her to stop before that one time she gets too upset and goes to far ya know?

Nic

 

[Cat59]

I think your idea about talking to the Social Worker sounds good. Everyone who SI does for different reasons and very rarely do people do it just to get attention, as Bev says, there are loads of other reasons. And she's hiding it from you now, so attention is not the main factor.
Maybe the SW will know of local groups that work with people who SI or counselling organisations, that can work with her. Ask and see, I think.

 

[Godsgirl481]

I don't think it is a phase...it is not good...but the fact that she doesn't hide is is a great sign. I too hid mine...and did it in private. No one ever knew and I was cutting for about 5 years before I told told anyone...and everyone was shocked and never had a clue. That is the scarier kind I think. I think maybe she is feeling some stress or something...and maybe this is her way of asking for help.

 

[always_hope]

It does sound like she's asking for help by letting you know about it. Is she involved in a church, where you could maybe talk to a youth pastor or someone about it? Just a thought.


Hope

 

[Bevlina]

Maybe by talking to her yourself you can even get to the depth of her problem? It's not a good sign for one so young.