Any Good Men out there?

[trueluvwaits]

I don't know about you, but it seems to me like finding a good man is becoming harder and harder to come by. My name is Elle and I am 23, i know this seems silly but i want to believe in fairy tales again.

I want to enjoy being single, but long to have a boyfriend. I look to guys like Josh Groban and Shemar Moore and think, "Why are the good guys so out of reach". I mean, am i alone in this or what?

 

[PhantomTorment]

It seems like the world it filled with boys who can shave...finding a true man is very difficult to come by. You'd be far better off looking for a potential mate in a small group, church volunteer team, bible study, what have you...but then of course you have the problem of those guys not being much of men either since they tend to be as timid as mice . I found my fiance in small group, and I was starting to think that all the good women were gone haha. My two best friends are both great guys who love God, and actually have a future ahead of them...so there are some out there.

 

[Ost]

I don't think there is any to be had.
If anyone finds any tell me okay?
Till then I will just pet my cat Slappy. He's so cool.

 

[yam]

It seems like the world it filled with boys who can shave...finding a true man is very difficult to come by. You'd be far better off looking for a potential mate in a small group, church volunteer team, bible study, what have you...but then of course you have the problem of those guys not being much of men either since they tend to be as timid as mice . I found my fiance in small group, and I was starting to think that all the good women were gone haha. My two best friends are both great guys who love God, and actually have a future ahead of them...so there are some out there.

Hahah So true . I call them Little boys and My borther get mad at me but that is what they are . They are Little boys stuck in a man body .
sometimes ,I ask myself the same questions ? Where are all the good Men? I am so sick of these little boys.

 

[RobertMerton]

i ask the same question for girls.

at this age, they dont really know what they want.
take one of my mates for instance
dated a few years, and she didnt know what she wants, so they broke up, he's heartbroken and she's at the clubs chatting up

 

[redwngsfan019]

i ask the same question for girls.

QFT!!

the only "good" girls I can find are the ones at my church and only 2 of them are my age.

 

[Ost]

QFT!!

the only "good" girls I can find are the ones at my church and only 2 of them are my age.

oh this can't be!

 

[RobertMerton]

haha the irony.

 

[cloudstrife007]

Sisters, I'm going to assume you are talking about good Christian guys. By Christian, I mean men who are followers and believers of Jesus Christ who died for our sins and resurrected into heaven to give us eternal life.
First thing to say is, even if there aren't any good Christian men around atm, PLEASE don't ever consider dating a non Christian. It will cause you heartache and even regret because the values and priorities aren't the same, even if they might be understanding and nice about it. Arguments would be relating to how time is spent with reading bible, praying, going to small groups, church, future kids beliefs, etc.
Be patient and ask God for guidance and peace at heart.

While waiting, think about and work on being 'good Christian women'. (Book of Proverbs somewhere has a passage about godly women). Men(women) can quite easily say that there aren't many good Christian women(men) out there, but we also need to reflect and ask ourselves whether we are the good Christian man(woman) that God wants us to be. If we want to have a standard of godly women(men), then we also need to make sure we match that standard.

And with the little boys stuck in the body of men, as loving Christian sisters, is there any way you can help encourage the males? It's not helpful for them if you see the problem and don't do anything about it to resolve it. So it can be loving and humble thing of you to do by encouraging them to become men of Christ and take up leadership, initiative and responsibility. It might be as simple as asking them gently whether they can lead in prayer for the group.

 

[trueluvwaits]

thanks cloudstrife, i needed to hear that!

 

[Kevin_Wright]

To answer your question...no...no there are not.

 

[broken_one]

Relatively, we're not bad. I don't think you can complain about men until you have truly looked at yourself, and see if you're worthy to date these "holy men" at all.

I feel as if men get the bum rap because women seem to be looking for things (and people) that do not exist. We're all human.

 

[Laula777]

Aah! I've been wondering that too lately! Lol. But I just remembered this saying thing that goes something like this "Perfect guys aren't real and real guys aren't perfect". And it goes the same way with us girls. Nobody's perfect. Except for God. I just think that sometimes us girls tend to have too high an expectation on guys & what we want etc.

 

[DeathMagus]

trueluvwaits:

Good men are everywhere. I think part of the problem is that you "want to believe in fairy tales again."

Fairy tales are not healthy models for a relationship. Nor are romantic comedies.

What would you consider a "good" man?


cloudstrife007:

Advice like "never date a non-Christian" is a disservice to many Christians and non-Christians who might be extremely happy together.

 

[cloudstrife007]

trueluvwaits:

cloudstrife007:

Advice like "never date a non-Christian" is a disservice to many Christians and non-Christians who might be extremely happy together.

I'm not saying all Christians who are dating or married to Non Christians should immediately pack their bags and run.
There's nothing wrong with people being 'happy together', and I'm sure there are non-Christian/Christian couples out there doing well. Heck, there are aunties/uncles in our church like that. But at the end of the day, it is God's will to call people into his Kingdom. And we are also called to be equally yoked not simply because its a law/rule. But it's to help us stand and remain with God because we can be sure that our spouse is walking in the same direction as we are - to serve God.

 

[Fire for God]

Yes I quite agree with cloudstrife.

The point at the end of the day is this: When judgment day comes and all the earth and heavens are thrown away like a garment, will your works stand before God?

I want a woman of God to be my partner to do works that God sanctions, that God has created us to do. That is, of course, if marrying would be best by the time I reach the age to do so.

But whatever the case, I don't think I'm near to readiness, nor is my future partner near to readiness any time soon. At our age, much is to be learned, much is to be built up. If I cannot put God as my number 1 without a partner, how can I do so with one?

Therefore, like cloudstrife, I encourage my sisters and brothers here to be built up in Christ, so that we can be of service to one another and to God.

By the way, the passage on godly women is in Proverbs 31:10-31. I really like those verses. Each time I look at it I think, wow, I want my future wife to be like that.

 

[trueluvwaits]

i just want to find someone that i can laugh with, who will be there with me in the thick and thin, and someone i can trust....

 

[Fire for God]

Keep walking in God, I'm sure you'll find someone like that.

There are actually a lot of good men in this world that the Lord has made. Ask God for someone like that! He'll prepare one for you. If you honour Him, He will honour your simple desires, He will give you more than what you can ever imagine.

Keep hoping. Maybe you won't find him, he'll find you.

 

[trueluvwaits]

thx for those kind words! i know your right!

 

[Mess]

Yes I quite agree with cloudstrife.

The point at the end of the day is this: When judgment day comes and all the earth and heavens are thrown away like a garment, will your works stand before God?

I want a woman of God to be my partner to do works that God sanctions, that God has created us to do. That is, of course, if marrying would be best by the time I reach the age to do so.

But whatever the case, I don't think I'm near to readiness, nor is my future partner near to readiness any time soon. At our age, much is to be learned, much is to be built up. If I cannot put God as my number 1 without a partner, how can I do so with one?

Therefore, like cloudstrife, I encourage my sisters and brothers here to be built up in Christ, so that we can be of service to one another and to God.

By the way, the passage on godly women is in Proverbs 31:10-31. I really like those verses. Each time I look at it I think, wow, I want my future wife to be like that.

Oh come on, not another one that believes you can be saved through works. Look here is how it is, salvation comes through faith and faith alone. There is absolutely nothing one can do to save themselves, I'm sorry but that is just impossible. Is it important to do good works? Yes it is, but it is not our works that save us. Our salvation has been bought for us, by Jesus His blood at the Cross, and thus we only need to accept Him as our lord and saviour to be saved. Ephesians 2: 8-9 says about that For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. So by all means do good works, it is good to do them, but it brings no salvation.


More on topic again, sure there are still good men out there, why wouldn't there be? There are still men out there that are eager to serve God, that are eager to do that with a person next to them that has the same desires. But you might have to look abit longer than one might have had to in the past. To weigh in on the discussion of the unequally yoked, I would advise against it. Now I'm not saying you can't be happy with someone that isn't a Christian but ask yourselves, will I grow in my faith and my relationship with God when I'm married/dating a non-christian? Ask yourself how am I going to get my children to be good Christian people when my spouse isn't? Ask youself, will my partner agree to no fornicating? And more such questions. God isn't telling us not to be unequally yoked for no reason, he knows how hard it will be, and how damaging it can be, just like all other laws he tells us this from His love.

For myself, I have to many issues to tackle before starting dating, so at this time I'm no where near dating material, but who knows, with God in ones life everything is possible.