...an observation...

[Inkachu]

woooo 50 posts I can finally post images... Here's a nice relevant one!

*falls out of her office chair laughing*

Wait, wait, who's friendzoning who now?

 

[lostaquarium]

I still don't get it.

The concept of "friend-zoning" implies that a woman might be attracted to someone she doesn't know, and then become less attracted to him once she gets to know him.

Which does not make sense!!!

 

[Windmill]

a man treads a fine line when he befriends a lady. I mean if he overdoes it he may get friendzoned.

Comments like this I find funny.

When people start dating/get married, they talk about the horrors of making friends with the opposite sex, because if you become friends with them, that could easily result in feelings!

But when people are single, suddenly if they become friends with you, there is no chance of feelings developing, and now you are stuck in the friend zone.

 

[hikingchick77]

I still don't get it.

The concept of "friend-zoning" implies that a woman might be attracted to someone she doesn't know, and then become less attracted to him once she gets to know him.

Which does not make sense!!!

It makes a LOT of sense to a woman! Some men look great on the outside - attractive, seem interesting, etc. But, once you get to know them, there is nothing that interesting really about them. They are not deep, or interesting, or smart, etc. So, they are good as a friend, but nothing more!

 

[Tamara224]

There's no such thing as friend-zoning. I don't understand the concept at all.

I was going to say exactly this when I first read the OP.

I have been friendzoned... BUT let me tell you that it was only because she was not attracted to me. That is what friendzone really consists of. She likes your personality but she just isn't attracted to you.

I still don't get it.

The concept of "friend-zoning" implies that a woman might be attracted to someone she doesn't know, and then become less attracted to him once she gets to know him.

Which does not make sense!!!

Exactly!

It makes a LOT of sense to a woman! Some men look great on the outside - attractive, seem interesting, etc. But, once you get to know them, there is nothing that interesting really about them. They are not deep, or interesting, or smart, etc. So, they are good as a friend, but nothing more!

Yes, of course... but the concept of "friendzone" is the idea that but for being in the "friendzone" a guy would have been able to be romantically involved with a woman. The idea is that placement in the "friendzone" is the only thing precluding a relationship. That's silly.

What you describe is simply incompatibility. It has nothing to do with which "zone" the guys starts the relationship in. The people would have been incompatible and would have discovered that no matter what footing the relationship started out on. On the other hand, if there is attraction and compatibility, friendship will turn into romance.

I think the "friendzone" stuff is really only applicable in worldly dating situations. The problem is one that men who are only interested in sex have. It goes something like this:

* The man is not interested in a long-term relationship, only casual sex;
* The chance of having sex with a woman depends on her level of attraction to a man;
* The man knows that if the woman gets to know him, she will be less sexually attracted to him as she realizes that he isn't really interested in a lasting relationship;
* Therefore he must capitalize on the mystery and initial attraction and have sex with her before she gets to know him.

That's the only situation, IMHO, in which the "friendzone" concept has any reality.

 

[Inkachu]

 

[crishmael]

Although I do notice my options consist of the zone of pain, awkward friendship, and relationship temptation. Now I am sad...

 

[Inkachu]

I reject charts and statistics! I am determined to find someone who's content with me constantly beating him at Yahtzee and letting me sing opera all over the house.

 

[canehdianhotstuff]

The dice like me too much for you to win at that game...sorry

 

[canehdianhotstuff]

Aha, that picture lasted longer than I thought I would.

 

[lostaquarium]

I was going to say exactly this when I first read the OP.




Exactly!



Yes, of course... but the concept of "friendzone" is the idea that but for being in the "friendzone" a guy would have been able to be romantically involved with a woman. The idea is that placement in the "friendzone" is the only thing precluding a relationship. That's silly.

What you describe is simply incompatibility. It has nothing to do with which "zone" the guys starts the relationship in. The people would have been incompatible and would have discovered that no matter what footing the relationship started out on. On the other hand, if there is attraction and compatibility, friendship will turn into romance.

I think the "friendzone" stuff is really only applicable in worldly dating situations. The problem is one that men who are only interested in sex have. It goes something like this:

* The man is not interested in a long-term relationship, only casual sex;
* The chance of having sex with a woman depends on her level of attraction to a man;
* The man knows that if the woman gets to know him, she will be less sexually attracted to him as she realizes that he isn't really interested in a lasting relationship;
* Therefore he must capitalize on the mystery and initial attraction and have sex with her before she gets to know him.

That's the only situation, IMHO, in which the "friendzone" concept has any reality.

Exactly! You said exactly what I was thinking, in a much better way!

 

[Stravinsk]

I think the "friendzone" stuff is really only applicable in worldly dating situations. The problem is one that men who are only interested in sex have. It goes something like this:

* The man is not interested in a long-term relationship, only casual sex;
* The chance of having sex with a woman depends on her level of attraction to a man;
* The man knows that if the woman gets to know him, she will be less sexually attracted to him as she realizes that he isn't really interested in a lasting relationship;
* Therefore he must capitalize on the mystery and initial attraction and have sex with her before she gets to know him.

That's the only situation, IMHO, in which the "friendzone" concept has any reality.

And I think this is a gross generalisation. If I ask a girl out and get "I just want to be friends", *especially* when she has shown very obvious interest (sending me chocolates, dropping big hints) I find it difficult to want to take the initiative again...not only because of the mixed signals, but because I figure there's something about me that she decided she didn't like enough to even want to go on a date. Granted there were other circumstances that surrounded that involving another guy(whom she had dumped)...but I'm still left wondering.

Obviously this happened to me not long ago. It's been months and I still want the girl. Meh.

An no, even though I am attracted to her sexually, it wasn't just about sex. Or even mostly. I get enough (subtle and not so subtle) offers at pubs and elsewhere from attractive women on a fairly routine basis and have never taken anyone up on it.

I like the girl's character, wit and what I see in her eyes and hear in her voice. And there are times when I want to harden my heart towards her so as to make it easier to see other women who have shown interest...or at least find a good reason nothing would come of it. And then when I try to do that...I feel sick. Meh.

Mmm yeah, I have a "friendzone" problem - and it has nothing to do with sexual conquest or exploitation.

 

[Llauralin]

And I think this is a gross generalisation. If I ask a girl out and get "I just want to be friends", *especially* when she has shown very obvious interest (sending me chocolates, dropping big hints) I find it difficult to want to take the initiative again...not only because of the mixed signals, but because I figure there's something about me that she decided she didn't like enough to even want to go on a date. Granted there were other circumstances that surrounded that involving another guy(whom she had dumped)...but I'm still left wondering.

Mmm yeah, I have a "friendzone" problem - and it has nothing to do with sexual conquest or exploitation.

That doesn't sound like a "friendzone" problem - it sounds like either she's infatuated/interested in someone else, she's not attracted and didn't notice her mixed signals, or she changed her mind and is now not interested. None of those have anything to do with being friends too long (though difficulty getting over her may be)

 

[Blank123]

That doesn't sound like a "friendzone" problem - it sounds like either she's infatuated/interested in someone else, she's not attracted and didn't notice her mixed signals, or she changed her mind and is now not interested. None of those have anything to do with being friends too long (though difficulty getting over her may be)

yup. basically stravinsk if this is really bothering you then you either need to discuss it with her or find a way to put some distance between the two of you so it can't be an issue anymore.

 

[Im_A]

And I think this is a gross generalisation. If I ask a girl out and get "I just want to be friends", *especially* when she has shown very obvious interest (sending me chocolates, dropping big hints) I find it difficult to want to take the initiative again...not only because of the mixed signals, but because I figure there's something about me that she decided she didn't like enough to even want to go on a date. Granted there were other circumstances that surrounded that involving another guy(whom she had dumped)...but I'm still left wondering.

Obviously this happened to me not long ago. It's been months and I still want the girl. Meh.

An no, even though I am attracted to her sexually, it wasn't just about sex. Or even mostly. I get enough (subtle and not so subtle) offers at pubs and elsewhere from attractive women on a fairly routine basis and have never taken anyone up on it.

I like the girl's character, wit and what I see in her eyes and hear in her voice. And there are times when I want to harden my heart towards her so as to make it easier to see other women who have shown interest...or at least find a good reason nothing would come of it. And then when I try to do that...I feel sick. Meh.

Mmm yeah, I have a "friendzone" problem - and it has nothing to do with sexual conquest or exploitation.

My opinion is, you have two options:
1. Give up on her and move on and simply forget about her because the probability is very high that you'll find someone that you'll like just as much and they may actually want you and that you'll end up liking more.

2. Use it as an opportunity to become involved in her life to get to know her more than you know of her already. Maybe the more she knows you, she'll want you because maybe she'll see something she didn't see before simply because, she knows you better and if nothing else, you would have made a new friend, and have good times together with a, hopefully, good woman that is a friend.

 

[sister4mercy]

"you dont want to be in the friends zone. When you're in the friends zone she sees you as a totally non-sexual entity, like a brother, ...or a lamp"

" I dont want to be lamp"

LMAO

 

[sister4mercy]

That's a great way to avoid not only the Friendzone, but any interaction with decent women whatsoever.

Ditto. Ink..you are a funny gal.