Wow Carico, your some kind of crazy warrior on the lose. Destroying quicker than i Can mend. Sorry carico, you seem to be on your own...
SqueezeTheShaman:
my leap of faith didn't come with the lovely gift yours did. there was still emptiness
Yea it usually happens. Clearly your not alone. I have been a christian all my life. but only a year ago i actually got serious. Because of people like Carico, no offense Carico.
Even with the infamous "absolute truth God" in the Christian Bible, one can still find emptiness. Why is this? I learned that all i have been doing in my life is follow what "others" say. And Well im the Thinker. I dont like to follow. I dont like to simply accept. I'm more of a "Doubting Thomas".
So I decide to check up on all these interesting religions. Many made me smile, Many made me Laugh, many made me upset, but they all opened my eyes.
But i never strayed too far from the Christian Faith. I don't know why exactly, i assume its because this is the faith i grew up in.
As i learned more and more about these large religions, most i didnt even know existed, many of them i have been misinformed, but in the process i was feeling alone.
All of a sudden every christian i knew didnt seem like a christian. I even got to the point where, everything was pointless. What exactly do christians believe? Cuz ever since i went out on my own, i learned new things that no one ever taught me about Christianity. There were even a few times when EVERY thing made sense. But one thing never left me, and it still hasnt: Christianity has been distorted horribly. But i leanred that ALL religions have their twisted followers. But it hurt me to see that Christians have the Worse of them all. Why?
I began to study and learn about Wicca, the first, and then i went to the many sects of Christendom. I havent gone too much into Hinduism, but im still young. I felt like i ventured off into the dark woods, there were times when i felt like i was being sucked into nothingness, where i felt worthless. But i still love my Lord. I dont know why, no matter how horrible i saw this world, even myself, i could never cursed my God. I seemed like the more i learned about the Darkness the more i learned about the Light. this is how i see it. If you ever felt like you knew you werent a christian, then i felt it the hardest cuz i was a christian feeling like im not one of them. It was a hard thing to understand. its like being a member of a family that you didnt feel you belonged in. I decided to go to the roots of Christianity. and well it was NOTHING like modern christianity. as a matter of fact, it almost seems like Christianity doesnt represent Christ Jesus, even though they mention him with every breath.
Honestly i do not know what purpose the Lord has with my life. But the more i learn about God and Life in general i get rejected. I have been titled by my fellow brothers as a False Teacher. NOW i know EXACTLY how Jesus felt. History is simply repeating itself.
I really dont know what to do anymore. I wait until i find someone on my level. Cuz i cant do this alone. No one wants to listen to me. I dont speak about non believers, i mean my very own Christians dont want to listen. they are COMFY with the Chrisitianity of today that they do not realize they have gradually shifted away from what Jesus came to do. at the same time, non believers seem them and ask "IS THIS what i want to follow?". Honestly people like me get affected by this. Our spirit griefs, because in the mist of all this aweful looking Christianity, there is a treasure that is not easy to aquire. And those who NEED it cant get to it. BEcause those who HAVE IT use it to HURT those who DONT HAVE IT.
I really dont see how a Christian can say a non believer is going to hell. I mean come on they dont even believe! how can they go to hell? God didnt say "Go out into the WORLD and condemn your fellow brothers and sisters" God said "Go out into the world and gather my sheep, they have strayed and i want them Back."
But no, instead of us christians HELPING our poor neighbors who wonder aimlessly in this dark world, we instead PUSH them over the EDGE! an EDGE that they dont even know exist!
So Squeeze the Shaman, it should be clear by now that i am not here to curse you, for you are close to the kingdom, but not close enough. I am simply here doing something that seems pointless. But has to be done. Christians have cursed the blind so much that they themselves became blind. They are no different than the Jews of Jesus time.
STS, the surface is nothing because it is the inside that counts. right now christianity seems dark, but inside theres something for all of us. if only we are able to see it. if only those who are already close, can let those who are far from it, know about it.
"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer."
the greatest enemies of the Gospel are the Followers themselves. the ones closer that the non-believers.
I THOUGHT christians have changed. it turns out i am wrong. we havent changed, we are still pushing the blind over the edge. instead of leading them to the one who heals.
In chat rooms in posts everywhere. Christians don't even know how to make sense of the bible anymore. When the bible is about Spiritual moral values than a literal history book. Where Death is all about death to evil deeds and corruption. death to the pain in our hearts. Not about how God is so cruel to us. But we are wild children, who dont know diclipline. and that is why Our Father chastens. If you follow some other religion, then it is because God found it suitable for you to know about this religion, but sometimes its time to grow out of your shell. Because has human beings we deserve more. and has times get DARKER, we need more than this semi-good semi painful world. where everything seems right, then pointless in one breath. Some of you are ready to grow, while others still need to stay where they are until they understand. I want to grow, i want to go, i want to get EVEN closer to my God. I am not here for the Believers. im here for the non believers who are not close enough.
STS i dont blame you for not understanding the bible. i blame those who do understand it. i blame them for not helping.
Yes, beliefs are like shells, i have been fortunate to grow up in a huge shell, but even that wasnt huge enough. now i grew passed it, i realized that modern christianity hinders our growth. we need to go back to Jesus, his shell was limitless. If you're tired of this, and know there has to be more, then this is all it takes to find it.
I'm telling you its not easy.. It was hard for me to see how my own religion, yes even my own understanding, was not at all what God intended. And he knew this. He knew that when he blesses us, we will absue of his gifts. But he blessed us anyway. And i want to Thank Him, by following Him correctly.
I am not going to blame the devil for decieving me. because i know thats all he can do. I blame myself for believing him, and assuming Christianity is as pointless as believing in aliens. As pointless as Trigonometry. as meaningless as seening those who hate me, suffer.
But then i opened my eyes and said "wait a second, there is more, pass those thick branches and thorns, there is more i know there is."
And i cut through, proved myself wrong, found out that most christians are wrong. Learned that good christians do exist. I got bruised a bit. but it was worth it.
I came out of this old shell, old frame of mind. My church is a daughter of the Catholic Church. so the RCC has greatly influenced our minds. Some have finally broken out. Now i feel like a rebel. and it feels good. The truth is coming out. liberation is coming back. no time is better than now.
Ill be back soon God bless you.
I write too much dont i? lol.. its happens when your free. ;-)