AMWF Believers?

[blackribbon]

Although very rarely discussed, but if it comes to such point, most people I personally know have racial preferences when choosing partners.

The #1 reason for racial preference is cultural bias. A close #2 choice is looks.

And often, this personal preference is not individually unique nor objective in nature but heavily influenced by popular preferences and the mass media.

Still not the best way to pick a forever spouse. I get that we all have things that we are drawn toward but the OP is picking the looks and culture and then complaining about not sharing a similar faith. I am saying that she should be looking within the Christian community that she relates best to and then making a choice concerning attractiveness and compatibility

My husband was so not "my type" but after a few years, I would have said his type is what I have found most attractive to me. However, I am also still attracted to the kind of man I liked before I married him.

Looks only take you so far in a relationship, and then you start to only see the person inside. Physically attractive people can become ugly and plain people can start to become beautiful.

 

[joy4JESUS]

I'm not trying to make you feel unwelcome, but that's not the best way to start out as a brand new member. You can scan through and see that most of us are Christians and have fellowship with each other, but we cannot see that about you because you haven't been around yet. You have us at a disadvantage, but want us to trust you like you felt you could trust us.

Because of the reasons you mentioned in one of your replies, people typically feel more trusting if they can become a little familiar with you before you open up with a potentially controversial question. We get people who come on here to troll or be creepy sometimes. Occasionally a new person will make a post that sounds like a dating profile, fishing around to see who might bite (that's not what this forum is for).

In an effort to not be naive or waste our time, many of us have come to question the genuineness of brand new posters when they start out too open or with questions that are probing.

You can be yourself and genuine without busting on here asking people questions. It probably would have been more appropriate to introduce yourself and mention that you are attracted to Asian men and have had difficulty finding someone, and left it at that. Or if you had asked, "How can find Asian Christians?" instead of making it about what we like or want.

I'm curious though. You mention how hard it is to find an Asian man to date and other people who are like-minded, and then you said in another post that "white women are going for Asian men like never before."

Perhaps I did not start the topic the way you think I should have. I do understand what your saying about people that are scamming and such. I guess my problem is, and has always been, I am far too naive and trusting. I conduct myself in life the way I do online- and stupidly assume everyone else does too. I technically know that stuff goes on, but it is so far removed from me and my world that I sort of don’t expect to ever see it myself- if that makes sense? I AM far too trusting. I’m trying to not be, but it has always been a downfall of mine.
I can’t understand what makes people want to be like that.

Anyways, I see your point. But, I hope you can also see my intent. As Christians, WE know we are ALL equal in God’s eyes. We are all the same “race”- human. So I guess I felt comfortable asking other Believers something that has been on my mind. Perhaps it was not in the best way, but there was no malice or bad intent. I’ve been going through something with someone that really made me wonder about other Believers and how they felt.

As for my statement, yes, white women are becoming involved with Asian men on a large scale. But again, it’s more big cities, or certain states have a heavier concentration.

 

[timewerx]

As for my statement, yes, white women are becoming involved with Asian men on a large scale. But again, it’s more big cities, or certain states have a heavier concentration.

It seems. However, the vast majority of cases I've seen so far is that the Asian guy is at least middle class.

I know of only one case where the Asian guy is poor and the woman happens to be a missionary - seems to be influenced greatly by circumstances.

It's interesting to mention, the situation is reversed in White guys with Asian women. In many cases, the woman came from a poor background while the White guy comes from different backgrounds, below middle class, middle class, etc.

It looks to me that money plays a role and it is known in studies that Asians tend to be highly successful (financially) in USA.

 

[joy4JESUS]

I'm sorry if you got offended by some of the replies which may include my reply as well.

But I think this is no one's fault here.

There are online scammers everywhere including here in Christian Forums. I personally have been messaged (from other websites/email) by scammers, many of them were white females wanting a relationship upfront and they made it clear in their first message.

I had a friend who fell victim to one of these and lost a lot of money.

So we can't help but be cautious in dealing with anyone new online especially if they're looking for something that requires a "big step".

Under different circumstances, we could have been a lot nicer. I hope you can understand our perspective. How about we all start over again and welcome to singles section!

I would like that. Thank you. And thank you for answering so respectfully and intelligently.

Hi, my name is Joy.

 

[joy4JESUS]

First time I saw White women when I went to USA (I'm not from USA), I had fairly mixed experience.

Either I got received very warmly or treated like a criminal. There's seems to be nothing in between!

Anyway, I never held a grudge, because some of the White women were very warm and quite hospitable towards me. Some have been one of the closest friends I had.



Thank you, if you think of us Asian in that way! But we are still a mixed crowd. You might think those who ends up settling in USA are good because it's actually very tough to make it past US immigration. They only keep the good ones (usually those with highly demanded skills and potentially contribute to the economy) while keeping everyone else out!



Yes, I'm aware of the Kpop craze but didn't know about White women caught by the craze too.



There's actually many Asian guys who wants rural life (and American country music, believe it or not). It just so often that USA mostly takes in Asians in the tech field which is obviously a city job.

While Asians with Forestry or Agricultural skills usually ends up elsewhere like New Zealand or Canada. There's very little demand for rural jobs in USA (that would need extra help from foreign workers), this is why it's very rare to find Asians in your place.

Oh yes, I’m a total Kpopper, but it’s more than just for the guys. I genuinely love the sound of Korean music. I’m a singer and music is big in my life. To me, the Korean language is lyrically beautiful in the way it flows with the music. It soothes me. Really, most Asian languages in general are just more beautiful with music, to me, than English or any other.

Lol, if you find any- send them here! I cannot abide city living, and most people think rural life is boring. I do understand what your saying, though.

 

[joy4JESUS]

How is picking your potential husband primarily based on his race or culture Christian? I would think that you would first start with like-minded Christians and see who turns out to be "the one"?

Well, first off, I don’t remember stating anything specifically about a husband. But since we are on the subject..

If there are 5 men, all good God-fearing men, in a room and I had to choose one- and the Lord gave His permission to marry any of them.
If I’m only attracted to one, it seems it would make more sense to try and get to know him first. However, if I saw another that had a better heart for Christ, that’s who I would ultimately pick.
God makes us all individuals, and I believe as part of the human dynamics He made, I think He is the one Who gives us certain things we are attracted to, and to certain people.
I am intellectually and just more all-around more personality-compatible with Asians. Nothing wrong with that.
They are an incredible group of people, and I happen to be someone who looks deeper into things than surface level. I think they are the most handsome- but it goes FAR beyond looks. Most Asian men have incredible minds. I appreciate that.
But, as long as Christ is at the center, that’s what will create a true marriage.

 

[joy4JESUS]

Although very rarely discussed, but if it comes to such point, most people I personally know have racial preferences when choosing partners.

The #1 reason for racial preference is cultural bias. A close #2 choice is looks.

And often, this personal preference is not individually unique nor objective in nature but heavily influenced by popular preferences and the mass media.

I admit, if we are going by looks, I find Asian men to be the most beautiful. That’s just the way it is.
But for me, there is SO much more important aspects.
The personality, the mind, most know how to treat a lady.
It’s the whole package.

For me, although I am usually the oddball in things, there is no outside influence.
It’s hard to fully describe.
It’s just where my heart turns toward.
If that makes sense?

 

[joy4JESUS]

It seems. However, the vast majority of cases I've seen so far is that the Asian guy is at least middle class.

I know of only one case where the Asian guy is poor and the woman happens to be a missionary - seems to be influenced greatly by circumstances.

It's interesting to mention, the situation is reversed in White guys with Asian women. In many cases, the woman came from a poor background while the White guy comes from different backgrounds, below middle class, middle class, etc.

It looks to me that money plays a role and it is known in studies that Asians tend to be highly successful (financially) in USA.

I know what you mean. Lol, again though, I am the oddball, I couldn’t care less about the finances issue.. which I know is completely weird to most. I mean, I know it’s Jesus that’s going to supply all our needs, so I’m ok either way.

Just who the Lord has made me to be-
I would rather be extremely poor with the person I love, than rich with someone else.

Yes, Asians usually do well financially. BUT, I believe this is due to their diligence, discipline and not being afraid to work hard and have excellent patience for succeeding.

 

[JAM2b]

Putting your real name out here on the open forum is not a wise idea. And assuming that is a picture of you, you have now just exposed your picture coupled with your name for the world to see. Anyone looking at these post will now know you are doing it and if they know you in real life are now seeing everything you will ever put on here.

We have user names for a reason. There is safety and protection through being anonymous. Christians are not the only ones who see this message board, and not all Christians are safe people to interact with. I think you have a false sense of security. Yes, this is a board for Christians AND non-Christians to discuss Christianity and life, but it is still on the internet and open to every Tom, Dick, and Harry to troll, scam, and exploit. It's not like facebook where you can control who can see and have access to what you put on here. You cannot block the general public.

 

[Saucy]

Irish men are CLEARLY hotter and the better option.

 

[joy4JESUS]

Putting your real name out here on the open forum is not a wise idea. And assuming that is a picture of you, you have now just exposed your picture coupled with your name for the world to see. Anyone looking at these post will now know you are doing it and if they know you in real life are now seeing everything you will ever put on here.

We have user names for a reason. There is safety and protection through being anonymous. Christians are not the only ones who see this message board, and not all Christians are safe people to interact with. I think you have a false sense of security. Yes, this is a board for Christians AND non-Christians to discuss Christianity and life, but it is still on the internet and open to every Tom, Dick, and Harry to troll, scam, and exploit. It's not like facebook where you can control who can see and have access to what you put on here. You cannot block the general public.

Lol, I simply cannot do anything right!

 

[blackribbon]

Well, first off, I don’t remember stating anything specifically about a husband. But since we are on the subject..

If there are 5 men, all good God-fearing men, in a room and I had to choose one- and the Lord gave His permission to marry any of them.
If I’m only attracted to one, it seems it would make more sense to try and get to know him first. However, if I saw another that had a better heart for Christ, that’s who I would ultimately pick.
God makes us all individuals, and I believe as part of the human dynamics He made, I think He is the one Who gives us certain things we are attracted to, and to certain people.
I am intellectually and just more all-around more personality-compatible with Asians. Nothing wrong with that.
They are an incredible group of people, and I happen to be someone who looks deeper into things than surface level. I think they are the most handsome- but it goes FAR beyond looks. Most Asian men have incredible minds. I appreciate that.
But, as long as Christ is at the center, that’s what will create a true marriage.

But you said you were looking for an Asian male but having a hard time finding one who was Christian as you see it.

"Asian" is a HUGE group and not all Asian men have the same personalities, culture, or intelligence level. Korean culture is different from Chinese which is different from Japanese which is different from Thai....and North Korean culture is different from South Korean culture even. Worldwide, Asian societies also include India and Pakistan which are very different. If you are looking only for an "Asian" man, you are looking only for a certain look which would also include American born Asian which would have the same culture as any other kid you went to school with.

My experience is that the Filipino friends I have are very much Christian, so maybe you ought to look for a Filipino church. (I am an honorary Filipino because I am the only white girl working our our weekend rotation. I love it because I get to try all sorts of Filipino dishes at lunch because they all eat potluck style and get upset if I don't join them. )

 

[blackribbon]

Lol, I simply cannot do anything right!

We are trying to protect you by warning you. It isn't shaming. This group has many non-Christians who willing claim to be non-Christians. There are also members who have been stalked via this and other forums. And just in case you didn't realize, this is not a dating forum although some people connect and talk via PMs.

 

[timewerx]

But for me, there is SO much more important aspects.
The personality, the mind, most know how to treat a lady.
It’s the whole package.

I'm not so sure about this. Asians aren't known having as good interpersonal and communication skill as White guys, nor being classy in situations which is a big turn off to many women.

The great majority of Asian guys isn't K-pop in appearance nor personality.

 

[timewerx]

"Asian" is a HUGE group and not all Asian men have the same personalities, culture, or intelligence level. Korean culture is different from Chinese which is different from Japanese which is different from Thai....and North Korean culture is different from South Korean culture even. Worldwide, Asian societies also include India and Pakistan which are very different. If you are looking only for an "Asian" man, you are looking only for a certain look which would also include American born Asian which would have the same culture as any other kid you went to school with.

That is true. I think although India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh are called "South Asians", they are quite genetically different. They are closer to being Caucasians than Oriental Asians.

In fact, many of them, especially the fair-skinned ones is hard to distinguish from European Caucasians, White Arabs, and White Jews. Some of them are even blonde with blue eyes!

 

[blackribbon]

That is true. I think although India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh are called "South Asians", they are quite genetically different. They are closer to being Caucasians than Oriental Asians.

In fact, many of them, especially the fair-skinned ones is hard to distinguish from European Caucasians, White Arabs, and White Jews. Some of them are even blonde with blue eyes!

I had a nursing school friend who didn't realize that most Americans didn't think about Indians and Pakistanis as being Asian. When we were being tested on "cultural awareness" and diets, she got the questions wrong. Ironic, because she was an Asian Pakistani....and was answering the questions on the Asian diet based on her personal knowledge. She was dumbfounded when I explained that "Asian" meant "Oriental Asians".

I know that the oriental Asian cultures trains people to not express their emotions, especially in public. For these reason, as nurses, we are to assess closely because our oriental Asian patients might not claim pain even if they are in a lot of pain. I have had to talk many into taking pain meds because once they show evidence they are in pain, that means the pain is out of control. As a postpartum nurse, Asian fathers are not as likely to be hands on to their new babies. Both situations change drastically after the family becomes 2nd generation Americans. Then they are simply American.

 

[blackribbon]

Irish men are CLEARLY hotter and the better option.

And if they are ginger, all the hotter. (My husband was a redhead so I am sort of biased. )

 

[Citanul]

I had a nursing school friend who didn't realize that most Americans didn't think about Indians and Pakistanis as being Asian. When we were being tested on "cultural awareness" and diets, she got the questions wrong. Ironic, because she was an Asian Pakistani....and was answering the questions on the Asian diet based on her personal knowledge. She was dumbfounded when I explained that "Asian" meant "Oriental Asians".

It's interesting the differences between countries, as in South Africa, "Asian" refers to someone of Indian/Pakistani descent as there are far more of them than there are Oriental Asians.

And something which sprang to mind as I was typing this post - would someone from Russia regard themselves as Asian?

 

[joy4JESUS]

I'm not so sure about this. Asians aren't known having as good interpersonal and communication skill as White guys, nor being classy in situations which is a big turn off to many women.

The great majority of Asian guys isn't K-pop in appearance nor personality.

I can only go by my personal experience and what I’ve seen/heard from others. I was in a long distance relationship with a guy that is 100% Chinese. He was here in the states for a few years for his degree, but went back to Hong Kong to finish his second degree. He truly is the love of my life. He was more emotional, expressive, loyal, compassionate, understanding and passionate about what he loves and believes in. He is a hard worker, and deep thinker. I would have followed that man to the ends of the earth. But it was the selfishness of his family and friends that caused us to be separated.

I’ve been with white guys throughout my life. They don’t know how to treat a true lady. They are self-focused and don’t know the meaning of sacrificial love or loyalty. This again is MY opinion and personal experience, before anyone says anything in their defense. I’m talking about the classic small-town, white America male.
They think they are God’s gift to the human race. **rolls eyes**
No, thank you.

 

[joy4JESUS]

We are trying to protect you by warning you. It isn't shaming. This group has many non-Christians who willing claim to be non-Christians. There are also members who have been stalked via this and other forums. And just in case you didn't realize, this is not a dating forum although some people connect and talk via PMs.

Yes, I know it’s not a dating forum. I wouldn’t be here if it was.