Am I really that ugly?

[sunshine100]

Whoever the lady is in your profile avatar, is anything but ugly, more like intimidating. All the wrong dudes are turned off by the slightest hint of purity, maybe God will spare you from relationships that are more like Hell on earth rather than Heaven on earth. What I mean is how a relationship can feel emotionally. I think most relationships if not nearly all, are a mix of the two.

LOL thanks,no that avatar is not me,that is just a pic I found online,I love fairies.

 

[sunshine100]

You should post a picture on here. Though to be honest there is no such thing as ugly. I do realize people will still judge and set some sort of imaginary standard but if someone doesn't see you for who you are as a person then they are they ugly ones.

I can also tell you EHarmony is full of shallow christians. Most profiles have a mile long list of what they are looking for. Which is why they never find anyone because a perfect match for such a long list is impossible.

I never got any messages on it at all and while I am not "ugly" (by world standards) I am disabled which meant no one wanted to bother with me on there. Despite the fact I wasn't picky about anything aside from no smoking, no drinking and be a christian.

I'd try smaller sites for christian dating. The one I met my wife on is:
christiandatingforfree (dot) com
I have a pic that I posted of me,in the singles on here the name of the thing is if you could

There are many christians of various ages, ethnicities, countries...etc. She messaged me in about a month of me creating my profile.

 

[mnorian]

Mod hat on

this thread has been moved from
Junk Drawer
to
Christian Advice
for a better fit and responses.
Carry on. ​

 

[Mario David]

I have never seen an ugly person. All god's creation are beautiful and maybe through a site a person might not see how beautiful you truly are

 

[JackRT]

You should post a picture on here. Though to be honest there is no such thing as ugly. I do realize people will still judge and set some sort of imaginary standard but if someone doesn't see you for who you are as a person then they are they ugly ones.

I agree. Ugly is not on the outside. The real ugliness is in heart and soul.

 

[Andrew77]

I just signed up for eharmony,I know what your thinking,I must be really desperate and lonely,but the truth is I'm really not,I just wanted to see if I could find someone on there,I knew I was ugly,but dame,am I really that ugly to where no guys like me on there?And I know that I just got started on there,but the one guy that looked at my profile could have at least sent me a message back to me,and replied back to me.

Many have told me they "felt" I wasn't their type.


So I was on one of those sites. Single guy, age 41.

I'm going to speak for myself, and maybe I'm alone on this....

If I am not attracted to the photo, then I am not going to look at the profile.

If I look at your profile, then your attractiveness is not a problem. You said a guy was looking at your profile, so perhaps that isn't the issue.

Once I look at the profile, I may see something that I decide I am not interested in.

That doesn't mean you are ugly.

Let me take a mythical example. Beautiful woman, turns out she is Catholic. I am not Catholic. I won't be going to a Catholic church, nor any of my family. Catholic families tend to want their sons and daughters to marry other Catholics as well, so high chances of in-law problems.

I do not hate Catholics. But I also am not going to marry a Catholic, and fight over which church our children go to. It is better for both of us, that she finds another Catholic man to marry, rather than me.

So beautiful Catholic women, I click on her profile, I chose to not pursue. She sends me a message. Am I going to reply back? No. What am I going to say? "Sorry not interested in Catholics". That's terrible and rude, and implies I have something personally against Catholics, when I don't.

So just because I look at your profile, and choose to not pursue communication with you, does not mean that I found you ugly or hideous.

In fact, there might be absolutely nothing wrong whatsoever, except that you are too far away. I'm in Ohio. If you are located in California, even if you are most beautiful women on there, I'm not going to pursue, because you are in California. I don't have the money to travel there, no matter how cute you are.

Lastly, this is all true of clicking the like button. I saw numerous women that were very attractive, and I clicked 'like' on none of them that I was not interested in pursuing a relationship with. I will not like your photo, unless I intend to pursue.

Again, doesn't mean you are ugly.

As a side note: Get the best photo you can. Proper lighting is the biggest flaw in profile photos. You will naturally look many times better just by walking outside on a sunny day, than in a badly lit room.

 

[moonlit]

I feel lonely and isolated as a single sometimes too and understand your struggle.
But remember, we must trust that God is working things out for us - some things take time.

 

[Brennenstuhl]

I know Church isn't exactly supposed to be a place for hook ups, but at the same time, if you're looking for a Christian boyfriend, it might be a good place to start looking (after all, if people are not to be unequally yoked, I doubt looking at a source of potential Christian SOs is sinful). You might want to consider making the first move, if you feel invisible. I know it's nontraditional, but still.

As for your profile, don't worry about it. People are looking for compatibility. If Bob loves sports and Mary is bored to tears by them, it might not be a good match.