Am I being too prideful?

[LoricaLady]

You make me smile. Yer different Raymond. What a gracious reply, and what a rare kind of one.

 

[Sketcher]

Tl;dr: I learned in a Truth for Life sermon that being a submissive wife as outlined in the Bible is a choice I make rather than a role forced on me. making it easier for me to abide by. However, when I brought that up to my cousin, he told me that this mindset is prideful because I'm putting myself and my wants before God's law, and that "wives submit to your husbands" is a command, not a choice. Is it prideful to think of being a submissive wife as a choice that I will make?

The core of submission is found in Philippians 2:1-8:

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant,being born in the likeness of men.
And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.​

Every Christian should be moved closer to a heart of doing this. If you're not growing in humility and love, then your growth as a Christian is stunted. Ephesians 5:22-24 is the manifestation of how a wife applies this teaching to her relationship with her husband. Ephesians 5:25-31 is the manifestation of how a husband applies this teaching to his relationship with his wife. How do we know this? Ephesians 5:21 introduces submission as the basis for how we are to be towards each other in the church.

This doesn't mean being wishy-washy, it does mean being considerate. This doesn't mean that someone must stay in an abusive situation, it does mean to handle martyrdom with the grace that God makes available to you should martyrdom come to you (Jesus escaped from people who wanted to seize him before his time in Luke 4:30, John 8:59, and John 10:39).

Now, is this something that you choose? Yes. Do you have to choose it as a Christian? Your responsibility to God is to choose yes. Do wives and husbands have equal value before God? Yes, there is no partiality with God (Ephesians 6:9).

Additionally, in 1 Peter 3:7, wives are called the "weaker vessel", which I had difficulty not taking offensively. I know part of it has to do with feminist culture and empowered women of today, but that's not my focus at the moment.

I've always heard that verse taught as women in general being physically weaker and emotionally more sensitive, and therefore needing to be treated gently. Men, generally speaking, can get away with being a bit less gentle to each other when talking with and correcting each other.

 

[Invalidusername]

Wrong!

Depending. If the husband has encouraged the wife to do immoral things or treats her in an extremely abusive fashion he doesn't have say of anything regardless of his claims to the contrary.

Obviously but you are grasping at straws at this point.

 

[Denadii]

Hello everyone! This will be a bit of a lengthy thread, so I'll add a tl;dr at the end.

I'm sorry if this is the wrong thread section, I wasn't sure which section to post in, since they all seem fairly specific. Christian advice seemed appropriate, but I can repost elsewhere if necessary.

Anyways, I'm a 24 year old woman, and my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. As we are planning to get engaged within the next year or so, we have been doing a weekly study of scripture for the past couple of months using Truth for Life's "We Two Are One" series, which is a series of sermons on marriage based on scripture. We want to learn about how to be a husband/wife God's way. The part of scripture I've always struggled with is 1 Peter 3:1-6

I have a hard time, as a woman, accepting that I am to be submissive to my husband, because it always brought to mind the idea of a man having complete control of me. Additionally, in 1 Peter 3:7, wives are called the "weaker vessel", which I had difficulty not taking offensively. I know part of it has to do with feminist culture and empowered women of today, but that's not my focus at the moment.

Anyways, the Truth for Life sermons really helped me with this, because it explained that a woman's place of submission to her husband, and her role as the weaker partner in a relationship are God-determined roles that she chooses to take. She chooses to obey her husband and allow him to be the head of the household as God has intended. She chooses to become a submissive and somewhat weaker partner, without any loss of dignity and she trusts that God will bring good works out of her submission.

I was talking to my cousin about this, and how I found it a lot easier to understand and abide by in this context, and after explaining, he told me that my problem is that I'm too prideful. According to him, the fact that I'm emphasizing God's rules as a choice is very self-centered, because it is not a choice, it is a command. "Wives submit to your husbands" is used in Ephesians and 1 Peter, and it is not a request. I can make a choice to obey or disobey, but disobedience results in consequences.

He did go on to say that a husband has no right to be tyrannous, abusive or corrupt in his power over the household, but I need to respect his place as head of the household, and accept my place as a submissive wife and a weaker vessel as God has intended, rather than seeing it as a choice to make.

I talked to my boyfriend about this after the fact, and he vehemently disagrees with my cousin's opinion on the matter, and doesn't think that it is prideful to make a choice that is according to God's will. I kind of understand both of their viewpoints, but I really want to make sure that I'm not being prideful. I do want to be a wife as outlined in scripture. I want to be a wife deserving of my husband, who is willingly submissive rather than feeling forced into the role, but is that selfish of me to want that? Or am I looking at this the wrong way? Would love some opinions.

Tl;dr: I learned in a Truth for Life sermon that being a submissive wife as outlined in the Bible is a choice I make rather than a role forced on me. making it easier for me to abide by. However, when I brought that up to my cousin, he told me that this mindset is prideful because I'm putting myself and my wants before God's law, and that "wives submit to your husbands" is a command, not a choice. Is it prideful to think of being a submissive wife as a choice that I will make?

I don't see any real prideful things here. You do know though, that the bible does not say that the woman is the weaker vessel? Its telling husbands to treat his lady a hugsband...While he was scripturally submitted to her too.
Have you noticed? The bible talks three times more to the husband than to the wife? For instance...he is to love the wife as Christ loved the church... Jesus came to serve! Not to dominate. The husband then serves the wife...She submits to him as he follows Jesus' example.

 

[Micah888]

...being a submissive wife as outlined in the Bible is a choice I make rather than a role forced on me...

Every decision one makes to obey God is a choice. Christians can choose to obey or disobey, and there are consequences attached to both decisions.

God does not COMPEL human beings but He does COMMAND them. So it is not a role which can be forced upon you.

Indeed, once you give serious thought to the whole matter, you will discover that God has given these commands to LIBERATE you, not to enslave you. You need not assume the responsibilities of your husband, and you will be more than happy fulfilling your own responsiblities.

 

[GoldenRule636]

Every decision one makes to obey God is a choice. Christians can choose to obey or disobey, and there are consequences attached to both decisions.

God does not COMPEL human beings but He does COMMAND them. So it is not a role which can be forced upon you.

Indeed, once you give serious thought to the whole matter, you will discover that God has given these commands to LIBERATE you, not to enslave you. You need not assume the responsibilities of your husband, and you will be more than happy fulfilling your own responsiblities.

That makes so much sense. I really appreciate the feedback, and I think you're right. I've just heard a lot of people telling me that if I think of it as a choice then I'm not fully submitting to God because I'm trying to take control, and that's prideful and selfish. That's the part I was a bit unsure about. But technically everything we do is still a choice we have to consciously make.

I understand that God wants to liberate myself and my boyfriend by putting forth the ideal marriage between man and wife, telling us how to be in a successful relationship as He has intended. I want to follow His commands, and become a good wife as well as a God fearing woman.

 

[lastofall]

[for me anyway] if it be so that we are actually following the Lord Jesus Christ then we will know that pride is sin, and that God hates pride, and resists the proud: rather we are supposed to put on the high virtue of voluntary humility which is the grace of Christ upon us; knowing that it is only to the humble that God gives His grace to.
(2 Corinthians 8:9 & 12:9)

 

[discipler7]

According to him, the fact that I'm emphasizing God's rules as a choice is very self-centered, because it is not a choice, it is a command. "Wives submit to your husbands" is used in Ephesians and 1 Peter, and it is not a request. I can make a choice to obey or disobey, but disobedience results in consequences.

EPHESIANS.5: = 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ....
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, ...
_ _ _ _ _ _ _

In a Christian marriage, "two becomes one". The wife only has to submit to her husband if he loves her. If the husband does not love his wife, she does not have to submit to him.
....... Eg if the husband abuses the wife, she should stop submitting to him; ... or if the wife does not submit to her husband, he should stop loving her. Hopefully, such a thing won't happen.

MATTHEW.7: = 12 Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

MATTHEW.22: = 37 Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

MATTHEW.5:43 = ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’

 

[LoricaLady]

EPHESIANS.5: = 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ....
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, ...
_ _ _ _ _ _ _

In a Christian marriage, "two becomes one". The wife only has to submit to her husband if he loves her. If the husband does not love his wife, she does not have to submit to him.
....... Eg if the husband abuses the wife, she should stop submitting to him; ... or if the wife does not submit to her husband, he should stop loving her. Hopefully, such a thing won't happen.

MATTHEW.7: = 12 Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

MATTHEW.22: = 37 Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

MATTHEW.5:43 = ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’

You have butchered Matthew 5:43. The Bible warns us sternly not to add to, or subtract from, it.
Here is ALL of what Matthew 5:43 says:

43 f“You have heard that it was said, g‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ iLove your enemies and jpray for those who persecute you, kso that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and lsends rain on the just and on the unjust. mFor if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?

Also, please quote a Scripture where it says a wife should only submit if her husband loves her. It would be nice if you could quote a Scripture telling, also, how the wife is to know that about his heart for sure. I agree that if a man is seriously abusive, or very immoral, that the wife should not submit to the abuse or immorality. But to say she should not submit because he doesn't love her is adding to Scriptures what is not in there. Way not smart move before the Father.

 

[discipler7]

‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’

MATTHEW.5:43

ROMANS.12: = 14 Bless those who persecute you; ...
19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 Therefore

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”

21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.


ROMANS.9: = 13 As it is written, “Jacob I have loved, but Esau I have hated.”

HOSEA.9: = 15 “All their wickedness is in Gilgal,
For there I hated them.
Because of the evil of their deeds
I will drive them from My house;
I will love them no more.
All their princes are rebellious.

DEUTERONOMY.23: =
3 “An Ammonite or Moabite shall not enter the assembly of the Lord; even to the tenth generation none of his descendants shall enter the assembly of the Lord forever, 4 because they did not meet you with bread and water on the road when you came out of Egypt, and because they hired against you Balaam the son of Beor from Pethor of Mesopotamia, to curse you. 5 Nevertheless the Lord your God would not listen to Balaam, but the Lord your God turned the curse into a blessing for you, because the Lord your God loves you. 6 You shall not seek their peace nor their prosperity all your days forever.


PSALMS.41: = 10 But You, O Lord, be merciful to me, and raise me up,
That I may repay them.
11 By this I know that You are well pleased with me,
Because my enemy does not triumph over me.

EXODUS.23: = 22 But if you indeed obey His voice and do all that I speak, then I will be an enemy to your enemies and an adversary to your adversaries.

LEVITICUS.26: = 7 You will chase your enemies, and they shall fall by the sword before you.

 

[discipler7]

Also, please quote a Scripture where it says a wife should only submit if her husband loves her.

Isn't a Christian marriage a covenant or contract between two parties who became one, ie the husband and wife, similar to the New Covenant of salvation between God and believers in Christ.?

HEBREWS.8: = 8 ... He says: “Behold, the days are coming, says the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah— ....
10 For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord: I will put My laws in their mind and write them on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. 11 None of them shall teach his neighbor, and none his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for all shall know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them. 12 For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.” ...

9:27 And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment, 28 so Christ was offered once to bear the sins of many. To those who eagerly wait for Him He will appear a second time, apart from sin, for salvation.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

Good question! Does the wife need to submit to a husband who doesn't love her? The bible says that is where silence is to be practised because he doesn't believe.

[I don't see any real prideful things here. You do know though, that the bible does not say that the woman is the weaker vessel? Its telling husbands to treat his lady a hugsband...While he was scripturally submitted to her too.

Have you noticed? The bible talks three times more to the husband than to the wife? For instance...he is to love the wife as Christ loved the church... Jesus came to serve! Not to dominate. The husband then serves the wife...She submits to him as he follows Jesus' example.[/quote]

You’ve left out the part that if the husband doesn’t follow in truth and spirit their prayers will not be answered. So you have a submissive God - to the church - that will be defunct of answered prayer if enacted wrong. Another way of saying that silence from heaven is the result.

 

[LoricaLady]

Isn't a Christian marriage a covenant or contract between two parties who became one, ie the husband and wife, similar to the New Covenant of salvation between God and believers in Christ.?

HEBREWS.8: = 8 ... He says: “Behold, the days are coming, says the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah— ....
10 For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord: I will put My laws in their mind and write them on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. 11 None of them shall teach his neighbor, and none his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for all shall know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them. 12 For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.” ...

9:27 And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment, 28 so Christ was offered once to bear the sins of many. To those who eagerly wait for Him He will appear a second time, apart from sin, for salvation.

You did a red herring. That is, you changed the subject and certainly did not answer my question. I commented on how you took the Bible out of context, quoting one verse and then leaving out the verses that followed it which showed a totally opposite point of view. I asked you to tell me where in the Bible it says a woman should leave a man if he "doesn't love her" (in her opinion, presumably.) You ignored all that.

 

[Denadii]

'

[for me anyway] if it be so that we are actually following the Lord Jesus Christ then we will know that pride is sin, and that God hates pride, and resists the proud: rather we are supposed to put on the high virtue of voluntary humility which is the grace of Christ upon us; knowing that it is only to the humble that God gives His grace to.
(2 Corinthians 8:9 & 12:9)

True...But the question was..."Am I being pridful?" The answer is no. Why? To state a decision is not pride. You could take it as a decree if you wish.

 

[discipler7]

The Bible warns us sternly not to add to, or subtract from, it.

REVELATION.22: = A Warning
18 For I testify to everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds to these things, God will add to him the plagues that are written in this book; 19 and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part from the Book of Life, from the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
Seems, you are misinterpreting the Scriptures/Bible. People were warned by the apostle John from adding to or subtracting from the book of REVELATION. ... If so, why.?

 

[LoricaLady]

REVELATION.22: = A Warning
18 For I testify to everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds to these things, God will add to him the plagues that are written in this book; 19 and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part from the Book of Life, from the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
Seems, you are misinterpreting the Scriptures/Bible. People were warned by the apostle John from adding to or subtracting from the book of REVELATION. ... If so, why.?

Do you think it is okay to add to, or subtract from Scriptures, as long as it is outside of the Book of Revelation?? I surely hope not!

Actually, the command to not add to, or subtract from, Scriptures, began in the "Old" Testament.

For example: Deut. 4: 2 Do not add to what I command you and do not subtract from it, but keep the commands of the LORD your God that I give you.

You need to spend some time studying the Word. As for your post, it is another red herring. I don't have time for that. Sorry. Blessings and bye!

 

[discipler7]

Do you think it is okay to add to, or subtract from Scriptures, as long as it is outside of the Book of Revelation?? I surely hope not!

Actually, the command to not add to, or subtract from, Scriptures, began in the "Old" Testament.
For example: Deut. 4: 2 Do not add to what I command you and do not subtract from it, but keep the commands of the LORD your God that I give you.

Who added to or subtracted from what God has commanded.? Did I add to or subtract from the commandment of God at MATTHEW.5:43 = ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’.?
....... Seems, you are making false accusations. ...

REVELATION.12: = 10 Then I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, “Now salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down.

 

[Sam91]

MATTHEW.5:43

ROMANS.12: = 14 Bless those who persecute you; ...
19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 Therefore

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”

21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.


ROMANS.9: = 13 As it is written, “Jacob I have loved, but Esau I have hated.”

HOSEA.9: = 15 “All their wickedness is in Gilgal,
For there I hated them.
Because of the evil of their deeds
I will drive them from My house;
I will love them no more.
All their princes are rebellious.

DEUTERONOMY.23: =
3 “An Ammonite or Moabite shall not enter the assembly of the Lord; even to the tenth generation none of his descendants shall enter the assembly of the Lord forever, 4 because they did not meet you with bread and water on the road when you came out of Egypt, and because they hired against you Balaam the son of Beor from Pethor of Mesopotamia, to curse you. 5 Nevertheless the Lord your God would not listen to Balaam, but the Lord your God turned the curse into a blessing for you, because the Lord your God loves you. 6 You shall not seek their peace nor their prosperity all your days forever.


PSALMS.41: = 10 But You, O Lord, be merciful to me, and raise me up,
That I may repay them.
11 By this I know that You are well pleased with me,
Because my enemy does not triumph over me.

EXODUS.23: = 22 But if you indeed obey His voice and do all that I speak, then I will be an enemy to your enemies and an adversary to your adversaries.

LEVITICUS.26: = 7 You will chase your enemies, and they shall fall by the sword before you.

If only there wasn't puntuation placed in the bible verse so people could click on it to read. Why are these even being quoted?

 

[Denadii]

Th

 

[AvgJoe]

Hello everyone! This will be a bit of a lengthy thread, so I'll add a tl;dr at the end.

I'm sorry if this is the wrong thread section, I wasn't sure which section to post in, since they all seem fairly specific. Christian advice seemed appropriate, but I can repost elsewhere if necessary.

Anyways, I'm a 24 year old woman, and my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. As we are planning to get engaged within the next year or so, we have been doing a weekly study of scripture for the past couple of months using Truth for Life's "We Two Are One" series, which is a series of sermons on marriage based on scripture. We want to learn about how to be a husband/wife God's way. The part of scripture I've always struggled with is 1 Peter 3:1-6

I have a hard time, as a woman, accepting that I am to be submissive to my husband, because it always brought to mind the idea of a man having complete control of me. Additionally, in 1 Peter 3:7, wives are called the "weaker vessel", which I had difficulty not taking offensively. I know part of it has to do with feminist culture and empowered women of today, but that's not my focus at the moment.

Anyways, the Truth for Life sermons really helped me with this, because it explained that a woman's place of submission to her husband, and her role as the weaker partner in a relationship are God-determined roles that she chooses to take. She chooses to obey her husband and allow him to be the head of the household as God has intended. She chooses to become a submissive and somewhat weaker partner, without any loss of dignity and she trusts that God will bring good works out of her submission.

I was talking to my cousin about this, and how I found it a lot easier to understand and abide by in this context, and after explaining, he told me that my problem is that I'm too prideful. According to him, the fact that I'm emphasizing God's rules as a choice is very self-centered, because it is not a choice, it is a command. "Wives submit to your husbands" is used in Ephesians and 1 Peter, and it is not a request. I can make a choice to obey or disobey, but disobedience results in consequences.

He did go on to say that a husband has no right to be tyrannous, abusive or corrupt in his power over the household, but I need to respect his place as head of the household, and accept my place as a submissive wife and a weaker vessel as God has intended, rather than seeing it as a choice to make.

I talked to my boyfriend about this after the fact, and he vehemently disagrees with my cousin's opinion on the matter, and doesn't think that it is prideful to make a choice that is according to God's will. I kind of understand both of their viewpoints, but I really want to make sure that I'm not being prideful. I do want to be a wife as outlined in scripture. I want to be a wife deserving of my husband, who is willingly submissive rather than feeling forced into the role, but is that selfish of me to want that? Or am I looking at this the wrong way? Would love some opinions.

Tl;dr: I learned in a Truth for Life sermon that being a submissive wife as outlined in the Bible is a choice I make rather than a role forced on me. making it easier for me to abide by. However, when I brought that up to my cousin, he told me that this mindset is prideful because I'm putting myself and my wants before God's law, and that "wives submit to your husbands" is a command, not a choice. Is it prideful to think of being a submissive wife as a choice that I will make?

What you've explained, doesn't sound prideful to me. I'd like to recommend the book~~~> Created to Be His Help Meet - by Debi Pearl.

For a little more clarity on biblical submission:

Submission is an important issue in relation to marriage. Here is the plain biblical command: “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything” (Ephesians 5:22–24).

Even before sin entered the world, there was still the principle of the headship of the husband (1 Timothy 2:13). Adam was created first, and Eve was created to be a "helper" for Adam (Genesis 2:18–20). God has established several types of authority in the world: governments to enforce justice in society and provide protection; pastors to lead and feed the sheep of God; husbands to love and nurture their wives; and fathers to admonish their children. In each case, submission is required: citizen to government, flock to shepherd, wife to husband, child to father.

The Greek word translated “submit,” hupotasso, is the continuing form of the verb. This means that submitting to God, the government, a pastor, or a husband is not a one-time act. It is a continual attitude, which becomes a pattern of behavior.

First, of course, we are responsible to submit to God, which is the only way we can truly obey Him (James 1:21; 4:7). And each Christian should live in humble, ready submission to others (Ephesians 5:21). In regards to submission within the family unit, 1 Corinthians 11:2–3, says that the husband is to submit to Christ (as Christ did to God the Father) and the wife is to submit to her husband.

There is much misunderstanding in our world today about the roles of husband and wife within a marriage. Even when the biblical roles are properly understood, many choose to reject them in favor of a supposed “emancipation” of women, with the result that the family unit is torn apart. It’s no surprise that the world rejects God’s design, but God’s people should be joyfully celebrating that design.

Submit is not a bad word. Submission is not a reflection of inferiority or lesser worth. Christ constantly submitted Himself to the will of the Father (Luke 22:42; John 5:30), without giving up an iota of His worth.

To counter the world’s misinformation concerning a wife’s submission to her husband, we should carefully note the following in Ephesians 5:22–24: 1) A wife is to submit to one man (her husband), not to every man. The rule to submit does not extend to a woman’s place in society at large. 2) A wife is to willingly submit to her husband in personal obedience to the Lord Jesus. She submits to her husband because she loves Jesus. 3) The example of a wife’s submission is that of the church to Christ. 4) There is nothing said of the wife’s abilities, talents, or worth; the fact that she submits to her own husband does not imply that she is inferior or less worthy in any way. Also notice that there are no qualifiers to the command to submit, except “in everything.” So, the husband does not have to pass an aptitude test or an intelligence test before his wife submits. It may be a fact that she is better qualified than he to lead in many ways, but she chooses to follow the Lord’s instruction by submitting to her husband’s leadership. In so doing, a godly wife can even win her unbelieving husband to the Lord “without words” simply by her holy behavior (1 Peter 3:1).

Submission should be a natural response to loving leadership. When a husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25—33), then submission is a natural response from a wife to her husband. But, regardless of the husband’s love or lack thereof, the wife is commanded to submit “as to the Lord” (verse 22). This means that her obedience to God—her acceptance of His plan—will result in her submission to her husband. The “as to the Lord” comparison also reminds the wife that there is a higher authority to whom she is responsible. Thus, she is under no obligation to disobey civil law or God’s law in the name of “submission” to her husband. She submits in things that are right and lawful and God-honoring. Of course, she does not “submit” to abuse—that is not right or lawful or God-honoring. To try to use the principle of “submission” to justify abuse is to twist Scripture and promote evil.

The submission of the wife to the husband in Ephesians 5 does not allow the husband to be selfish or domineering. His command is to love (verse 25), and he is responsible before God to fulfill that command. The husband must exercise his authority wisely, graciously, and in the fear of the God to whom he must give an account.

When a wife is loved by her husband as the church is loved by Christ, submission is not difficult. Ephesians 5:24 says, “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” In a marriage, submission is a position of giving honor and respect to the husband (see Ephesians 5:33) and completing what he is lacking in. It is God’s wise plan for how the family should function.

Commentator Matthew Henry wrote, “The woman was made out of Adam’s side. She was not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved.” The immediate context of the commands to the husband and wife in Ephesians 5:19–33 involves the filling of the Spirit. Spirit-filled believers are to be worshipful (5:19), thankful (5:20), and submissive (5:21). Paul then follows this line of thought on Spirit-filled living and applies it to wives in verses 22–24. A wife should submit to her husband, not because women are inferior (the Bible never teaches that), but because that is how God designed the marital relationship to function.

www.gotquestions.org/wives-submit.html