Am I being too prideful?

[GoldenRule636]

Hello everyone! This will be a bit of a lengthy thread, so I'll add a tl;dr at the end.

I'm sorry if this is the wrong thread section, I wasn't sure which section to post in, since they all seem fairly specific. Christian advice seemed appropriate, but I can repost elsewhere if necessary.

Anyways, I'm a 24 year old woman, and my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. As we are planning to get engaged within the next year or so, we have been doing a weekly study of scripture for the past couple of months using Truth for Life's "We Two Are One" series, which is a series of sermons on marriage based on scripture. We want to learn about how to be a husband/wife God's way. The part of scripture I've always struggled with is 1 Peter 3:1-6

I have a hard time, as a woman, accepting that I am to be submissive to my husband, because it always brought to mind the idea of a man having complete control of me. Additionally, in 1 Peter 3:7, wives are called the "weaker vessel", which I had difficulty not taking offensively. I know part of it has to do with feminist culture and empowered women of today, but that's not my focus at the moment.

Anyways, the Truth for Life sermons really helped me with this, because it explained that a woman's place of submission to her husband, and her role as the weaker partner in a relationship are God-determined roles that she chooses to take. She chooses to obey her husband and allow him to be the head of the household as God has intended. She chooses to become a submissive and somewhat weaker partner, without any loss of dignity and she trusts that God will bring good works out of her submission.

I was talking to my cousin about this, and how I found it a lot easier to understand and abide by in this context, and after explaining, he told me that my problem is that I'm too prideful. According to him, the fact that I'm emphasizing God's rules as a choice is very self-centered, because it is not a choice, it is a command. "Wives submit to your husbands" is used in Ephesians and 1 Peter, and it is not a request. I can make a choice to obey or disobey, but disobedience results in consequences.

He did go on to say that a husband has no right to be tyrannous, abusive or corrupt in his power over the household, but I need to respect his place as head of the household, and accept my place as a submissive wife and a weaker vessel as God has intended, rather than seeing it as a choice to make.

I talked to my boyfriend about this after the fact, and he vehemently disagrees with my cousin's opinion on the matter, and doesn't think that it is prideful to make a choice that is according to God's will. I kind of understand both of their viewpoints, but I really want to make sure that I'm not being prideful. I do want to be a wife as outlined in scripture. I want to be a wife deserving of my husband, who is willingly submissive rather than feeling forced into the role, but is that selfish of me to want that? Or am I looking at this the wrong way? Would love some opinions.

Tl;dr: I learned in a Truth for Life sermon that being a submissive wife as outlined in the Bible is a choice I make rather than a role forced on me. making it easier for me to abide by. However, when I brought that up to my cousin, he told me that this mindset is prideful because I'm putting myself and my wants before God's law, and that "wives submit to your husbands" is a command, not a choice. Is it prideful to think of being a submissive wife as a choice that I will make?

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

The main thing for a couple considering roles in marriage:
1)they should sit down with a pen and paper listing every expectation that comes to mind.
2)Individually sort what is reasonable and what is unreasonable expectations.
3)From that shortlist of what one thinks to be not unreasonable demands;
4) form a contract around that and seal the deal of covenant to one another.

(in layman's terms)

 

[Southernscotty]

Hello Sister, What would you be "unwilling to submit too?"
See this goes both ways, Because your husband is to be a godly example to you and love you as Christ loves His church.
A willingness to submit does not mean that one is to be seen as "less than" the other,
It means submitting purely out of love and respect.
We live in a society that has this all messed up and thinks these verses mean tyrannical behavior and it doesn't at all. It is God's model for a perfect relationship.
I have always respected the Amish in this as they seem to do well in this area.

 

[mark wright]

Hello everyone! This will be a bit of a lengthy thread, so I'll add a tl;dr at the end.

I'm sorry if this is the wrong thread section, I wasn't sure which section to post in, since they all seem fairly specific. Christian advice seemed appropriate, but I can repost elsewhere if necessary.

Anyways, I'm a 24 year old woman, and my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. As we are planning to get engaged within the next year or so, we have been doing a weekly study of scripture for the past couple of months using Truth for Life's "We Two Are One" series, which is a series of sermons on marriage based on scripture. We want to learn about how to be a husband/wife God's way. The part of scripture I've always struggled with is 1 Peter 3:1-6

I have a hard time, as a woman, accepting that I am to be submissive to my husband, because it always brought to mind the idea of a man having complete control of me. Additionally, in 1 Peter 3:7, wives are called the "weaker vessel", which I had difficulty not taking offensively. I know part of it has to do with feminist culture and empowered women of today, but that's not my focus at the moment.

Anyways, the Truth for Life sermons really helped me with this, because it explained that a woman's place of submission to her husband, and her role as the weaker partner in a relationship are God-determined roles that she chooses to take. She chooses to obey her husband and allow him to be the head of the household as God has intended. She chooses to become a submissive and somewhat weaker partner, without any loss of dignity and she trusts that God will bring good works out of her submission.

I was talking to my cousin about this, and how I found it a lot easier to understand and abide by in this context, and after explaining, he told me that my problem is that I'm too prideful. According to him, the fact that I'm emphasizing God's rules as a choice is very self-centered, because it is not a choice, it is a command. "Wives submit to your husbands" is used in Ephesians and 1 Peter, and it is not a request. I can make a choice to obey or disobey, but disobedience results in consequences.

He did go on to say that a husband has no right to be tyrannous, abusive or corrupt in his power over the household, but I need to respect his place as head of the household, and accept my place as a submissive wife and a weaker vessel as God has intended, rather than seeing it as a choice to make.

I talked to my boyfriend about this after the fact, and he vehemently disagrees with my cousin's opinion on the matter, and doesn't think that it is prideful to make a choice that is according to God's will. I kind of understand both of their viewpoints, but I really want to make sure that I'm not being prideful. I do want to be a wife as outlined in scripture. I want to be a wife deserving of my husband, who is willingly submissive rather than feeling forced into the role, but is that selfish of me to want that? Or am I looking at this the wrong way? Would love some opinions.

Tl;dr: I learned in a Truth for Life sermon that being a submissive wife as outlined in the Bible is a choice I make rather than a role forced on me. making it easier for me to abide by. However, when I brought that up to my cousin, he told me that this mindset is prideful because I'm putting myself and my wants before God's law, and that "wives submit to your husbands" is a command, not a choice. Is it prideful to think of being a submissive wife as a choice that I will make?

Don't be so hard on yourself, question yourself too much. I have rarely found a Christian woman submissive to their husband in much. One man I knew said his wife told him if he quoted verses to her about a wifes submission to her husband she would tear the pages out of her bible! They really were a wonderful example of Christianity, running soup kitchens for the homeless, and giving up a nice home to run a christian place for ex convicts.
It sounds to me, from what you write, in your heart you want to follow biblical teaching. I'm sure that is what matters most to God. But none of us are perfect, nor will we ever be whilst we live in this body of flesh

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

Hello Sister, What would you be "unwilling to submit too?"
See this goes both ways, Because your husband is to be a godly example to you and love you as Christ loves His church.
A willingness to submit does not mean that one is to be seen as "less than" the other,
It means submitting purely out of love and respect.
We live in a society that has this all messed up and thinks these verses mean tyrannical behavior and it doesn't at all. It is God's model for a perfect relationship.
I have always respected the Amish in this as they seem to do well in this area.

When society has every malfunction from every generation quantumly magnifying themselves onto family dynamics then the list is endless isn't it. That's why unequally yoked is so important to restrict yourself from.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

Don't be so hard on yourself, question yourself too much. I have rarely found a Christian woman submissive to their husband in much. One man I knew said his wife told him if he quoted verses to her about a wifes submission to her husband she would tear the pages out of her bible! They really were a wonderful example of Christianity, running soup kitchens for the homeless, and giving up a nice home to run a christian place for ex convicts.
It sounds to me, from what you write, in your heart you want to follow biblical teaching. I'm sure that is what matters most to God. But none of us are perfect, nor will we ever be whilst we live in this body of flesh

Strive for perfection in Christ spiritually whether with an unbelieving husband or a believer. The bible has instructions for both. The unbelieving husband being the one that is met with silence.

 

[LoricaLady]

Hello everyone! This will be a bit of a lengthy thread, so I'll add a tl;dr at the end.

I'm sorry if this is the wrong thread section, I wasn't sure which section to post in, since they all seem fairly specific. Christian advice seemed appropriate, but I can repost elsewhere if necessary.

Anyways, I'm a 24 year old woman, and my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. As we are planning to get engaged within the next year or so, we have been doing a weekly study of scripture for the past couple of months using Truth for Life's "We Two Are One" series, which is a series of sermons on marriage based on scripture. We want to learn about how to be a husband/wife God's way. The part of scripture I've always struggled with is 1 Peter 3:1-6

I have a hard time, as a woman, accepting that I am to be submissive to my husband, because it always brought to mind the idea of a man having complete control of me. Additionally, in 1 Peter 3:7, wives are called the "weaker vessel", which I had difficulty not taking offensively. I know part of it has to do with feminist culture and empowered women of today, but that's not my focus at the moment.

Anyways, the Truth for Life sermons really helped me with this, because it explained that a woman's place of submission to her husband, and her role as the weaker partner in a relationship are God-determined roles that she chooses to take. She chooses to obey her husband and allow him to be the head of the household as God has intended. She chooses to become a submissive and somewhat weaker partner, without any loss of dignity and she trusts that God will bring good works out of her submission.

I was talking to my cousin about this, and how I found it a lot easier to understand and abide by in this context, and after explaining, he told me that my problem is that I'm too prideful. According to him, the fact that I'm emphasizing God's rules as a choice is very self-centered, because it is not a choice, it is a command. "Wives submit to your husbands" is used in Ephesians and 1 Peter, and it is not a request. I can make a choice to obey or disobey, but disobedience results in consequences.

He did go on to say that a husband has no right to be tyrannous, abusive or corrupt in his power over the household, but I need to respect his place as head of the household, and accept my place as a submissive wife and a weaker vessel as God has intended, rather than seeing it as a choice to make.

I talked to my boyfriend about this after the fact, and he vehemently disagrees with my cousin's opinion on the matter, and doesn't think that it is prideful to make a choice that is according to God's will. I kind of understand both of their viewpoints, but I really want to make sure that I'm not being prideful. I do want to be a wife as outlined in scripture. I want to be a wife deserving of my husband, who is willingly submissive rather than feeling forced into the role, but is that selfish of me to want that? Or am I looking at this the wrong way? Would love some opinions.

Tl;dr: I learned in a Truth for Life sermon that being a submissive wife as outlined in the Bible is a choice I make rather than a role forced on me. making it easier for me to abide by. However, when I brought that up to my cousin, he told me that this mindset is prideful because I'm putting myself and my wants before God's law, and that "wives submit to your husbands" is a command, not a choice. Is it prideful to think of being a submissive wife as a choice that I will make?

My problem is with your cousin. To me he sounds prideful and maybe has a critical spirit. He could have given you his opinion without making a negative comment on your character.

The Bible does also say that the wife and husband are to be submissive to one another. Of course it also says the husband should love his wife so much that he is willing to give his life for her.

The wife is told to be submissive to her husband "as unto the Lord." Now your Heavenly Father would never be abusive to you or tell you to do something immoral, or very foolish, so if a man wants to be cruel or immoral or do something crazy, the woman does not have to submit to that.

In the Bible we see a righteous woman, Abigail, defying her husband and that she did what was right in the sight of the Almighty because her husband was so outrageously a fool.

Why don't you talk over with your fiance what kinds of particular concerns you have in the area of submission? Like in buying a home, raising children, entertainment, budgeting, whatever? See how he feels in those areas and what he feels your role should be as his help mate in those ways. Go from general to specific and kind of be your own marriage counselors. Write down things that actually pop into your mind as areas of particular concern, and he can do the same. Talk them over.

Don't fret over whether or not you are being prideful. Get to the heart of the matter, with the potential issues of the future, and work them out together. That way you will get to know one another even better, as well as be better prepared for marriage.

 

[brinny]

Hi Goldenrule. What comes to mind for me, is Proverbs 31, and God's very own definition of a Godly woman, and one whom her husband and her children rise up and call her bless-ed. This, my sister, is a standing ovation. In addition, the description of this Godly woman is that she is strong, kind, compassionate, and even has a business, which she excels at in the marketplace, and is respected there for her skills. Her husband values this about her, and he TRUSTS her, for she clearly means him well, and not only the community respects her but her husband as well, for she is truly a capable and loving "help-meet" for him, and he knows it, and is thankful that she is.

She is in NO way a doormat, or trodden on, or tyrannized by her husband or anyone else, but is a fully grown-of-God blessing in all her fullness to her husband.

I'd stick with "Truth For Life", dear sis, and pray for your cousin, and not seek his advice.

Wives and/or women are NOT "horses" to be "broken in".

Avoid like the plague anyone who has the mistaken notion that they are.

Praying for you and your boyfriend.

 

[Invalidusername]

It is God's command to be submissive. How well do you think a family unit can do with TWO leaders constantly arguing and disagreeing? It is more organized and more structured with only one leader. Men were chosen as leaders since it is the gender that God DESIGNED to be leaders.

Not only that but the curse in Genesis, "To the woman he said, "I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."" When it talks about "Your desire will be for your husband" it was not talking about sexual desire but rather a desire for his authority and position but the Bible clearly states that HE WILL RULE OVER YOU. The modern state of affairs were not how God designed it to be but rather it is the result of the curse and sin. Now you can try to fight the curse but you will only be unhappy and miserable. God has made it very possible in this current standard for both genders to be happy even though both of them have been cursed, we just have to follow God's decrees. Every time I fight his decrees, I become miserable and unhappy.

 

[Bobber]

I'm thinking every man and his wife has to get the feel how far the submission thing goes depending on the situation. It most certainly is not a blank check a husband can fill in and push his wife around making her comply to every thing. While the woman is to submit to the husband keep in mind the man is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. You can read this in Ephesians. Well...Jesus gave everything to the church and ever lives to make intercession for it. Here's something you might find interesting about the submission theme. It has to do when God told Abraham to listen to the voice of his wife.

9 But Sarah saw that the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham was mocking, 10 and she said to Abraham, “Get rid of that slave woman and her son, for that woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac.”11 The matter distressed Abraham greatly because it concerned his son. 12 But God said to him, “Do not be so distressed about the boy and your slave woman. Listen to whatever Sarah tells you, because it is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned. 13 I will make the son of the slave into a nation also, because he is your offspring.”14 Early the next morning Abraham took some food and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar. He set them on her shoulders and then sent her off with the boy. She went on her way and wandered in the Desert of Beersheba.
Genesis 21 9-14

There you see God sided in with Sarah and he told Abraham so. What's this tell you? That in your every day life you can pray about all situations and God will indeed move upon your husband if need be to get across to him the right thing to do. He may not even know that God told him but rather he just starts to think your way. It most certainly is not a scenario that you're without a way for your husband to change is mind. God will deal with your husband if he's wrong. Another thing about this submission thing....I trust you're knowing enough to realize it by no means says your husband can order you around in a abusive fashion being mean and you think that his headship over the home is still valid. I've heard strange things in my 60 years, things like husbands telling their wives to do things immoral like adultery or whatever or telling them to steal. Nope...husband's headship of the home is not accepted by God in all those type situations either.

 

[Invalidusername]

I'm thinking every man and his wife has to get the feel how far the submission thing goes depending on the situation. It most certainly is not a blank check a husband can fill in and push his wife around making her comply to every thing. While the woman is to submit to the husband keep in mind the man is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. Well...Jesus gave everything to the church and ever lives to make intercession for it. Here's something you might find interesting about the submission theme. It has to do when God told Abraham to listen to the voice of his wife.

9 But Sarah saw that the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham was mocking, 10 and she said to Abraham, “Get rid of that slave woman and her son, for that woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac.”11 The matter distressed Abraham greatly because it concerned his son. 12 But God said to him, “Do not be so distressed about the boy and your slave woman. Listen to whatever Sarah tells you, because it is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned. 13 I will make the son of the slave into a nation also, because he is your offspring.”14 Early the next morning Abraham took some food and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar. He set them on her shoulders and then sent her off with the boy. She went on her way and wandered in the Desert of Beersheba.
Genesis 21 9-14

There you see God sided in with Sarah and he told Abraham so. What's this tell you? That in your every day life you can pray about all situations and God will indeed move upon your husband if need be to get across to him the right thing to do. He may not even know that God told him but rather he just starts to think your way. It most certainly is not a scenario that you're without a way for your husband to change is mind. God will deal with your husband if he's wrong. Another thing about this submission thing....I trust you're knowing enough to realize it by no means says your husband can order you around in a abusive fashion being mean and you think that his headship over the home is still valid. I've heard strange things in my 60 years, things like husbands telling their wives to do things immoral like adultery or whatever or telling them to steal. Nope...husband's headship of the home is not accepted by God in all those type situations either.

God is not telling Abraham to submit to her authority in that verse. He is telling Abraham to listen to the situation and determine the next step. He is saying don't ignore her situation. It has nothing to do with submission.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

your cousin was correct in his assessment(RELEASE THE HOUNDS!!). feeling like a command from God to submit to your husband is a burden would go against 1 john 5:2-3. why do you find this command a burden?

attempting to turn this into a choice that you decide to make is you attempting to form some sort of control and authority for yourself. you don't want to just surrender, you want to have some control.

go to ephesians 5:22 and read to the end of the chapter. you'll see that the man has an extremely high calling and responsibility to his wife. he must sacrifice everything for her good in laying down his very life for her. submitting to a man who will give you everything he has isn't so bad now is it?

 

[GoldenRule636]

Hello Sister, What would you be "unwilling to submit too?"
See this goes both ways, Because your husband is to be a godly example to you and love you as Christ loves His church.
A willingness to submit does not mean that one is to be seen as "less than" the other,
It means submitting purely out of love and respect.
We live in a society that has this all messed up and thinks these verses mean tyrannical behavior and it doesn't at all. It is God's model for a perfect relationship.
I have always respected the Amish in this as they seem to do well in this area.

That's a fair point. It's not so much an unwillingless to submit, as not liking that whole "less than" idea. Women are worth less than men. Men control women. Those mindsets are what bother me, and they're very often applied to those verses, even if it is incorrect. I grew up in an environment where sexist jokes were the norm, and I guess that kind of got to me over the years, and reading it in the Bible as a rule was difficult to come to terms with. But seeing it as an act of mutual respect and love than seeing it as something I must be subjected to makes it seem a lot more doable.

 

[Bobber]

God is not telling Abraham to submit to her authority in that verse. He is telling Abraham to listen to the situation and determine the next step. He is saying don't ignore her situation. It has nothing to do with submission.

No the word "authority" isn't used but so what? It STILL demonstrates when the wife's way of thinking is more reasonable and properly fits the situation God will speak to the husband about it! And he DIDN'T as you say tell Abraham to listen to the situation....he said:

Listen to whatever Sarah tells you" NIV Gen 21

Whatever Sarah has said to you, listen to her voice; NKJ Gen 21

in all that Sarah hath said unto thee, hearken unto her voice [King James)

You may claim it has nothing to do with submission....well whatever you want to call it it's till God telling the husband TO DO what the wife says to do.

 

[GoldenRule636]

Hi Goldenrule. What comes to mind for me, is Proverbs 31, and God's very own definition of a Godly woman, and one whom her husband and her children rise up and call her bless-ed. This, my sister, is a standing ovation. In addition, the description of this Godly woman is that she is strong, kind, compassionate, and even has a business, which she excels at in the marketplace, and is respected there for her skills. Her husband values this about her, and he TRUSTS her, for she clearly means him well, and not only the community respects her but her husband as well, for she is truly a capable and loving "help-meet" for him, and he knows it, and is thankful that she is.

She is in NO way a doormat, or trodden on, or tyrannized by her husband or anyone else, but is a fully grown-of-God blessing in all her fullness to her husband.

I'd stick with "Truth For Life", dear sis, and pray for your cousin, and not seek his advice.

Wives and/or women are NOT "horses" to be "broken in".

Avoid like the plague anyone who has the mistaken notion that they are.

Praying for you and your boyfriend.

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers, this was so very encouraging to read. It really lays out what a Godly woman looks like, and everything you mentioned about a Godly woman is what I'd like to strive to become and what I've been praying about for months. I'm not perfect by any means, but I'm trying to be better and live a life that reflects Christ in my actions and in my duties as a woman and hopefully someday soon, a wife.

I think I'll definitely have to give Proverbs 31 another read and take some notes on that passage as well. Thanks again!

 

[brinny]

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers, this was so very encouraging to read. It really lays out what a Godly woman looks like, and everything you mentioned about a Godly woman is what I'd like to strive to become and what I've been praying about for months. I'm not perfect by any means, but I'm trying to be better and live a life that reflects Christ in my actions and in my duties as a woman and hopefully someday soon, a wife.

I think I'll definitely have to give Proverbs 31 another read and take some notes on that passage as well. Thanks again!

You are sooooo welcome. Proverbs 31 has been my "anchor" in regards to a "real life fer-real" Godly woman and wife. What i get out of it also is the healthy relationship she had with her husband, and how "happy" they were, and at ease with each other, and that he really "liked" his wife, and she, him.

What a blessed household this was, for husband, wife, and the children, and ALL who were in the household.

Wisdom is a GOOD thing. That is why i love Proverbs so much.

God bless you sister.

 

[GoldenRule636]

I'm thinking every man and his wife has to get the feel how far the submission thing goes depending on the situation. It most certainly is not a blank check a husband can fill in and push his wife around making her comply to every thing. While the woman is to submit to the husband keep in mind the man is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. You can read this in Ephesians. Well...Jesus gave everything to the church and ever lives to make intercession for it. Here's something you might find interesting about the submission theme. It has to do when God told Abraham to listen to the voice of his wife.

9 But Sarah saw that the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham was mocking, 10 and she said to Abraham, “Get rid of that slave woman and her son, for that woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac.”11 The matter distressed Abraham greatly because it concerned his son. 12 But God said to him, “Do not be so distressed about the boy and your slave woman. Listen to whatever Sarah tells you, because it is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned. 13 I will make the son of the slave into a nation also, because he is your offspring.”14 Early the next morning Abraham took some food and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar. He set them on her shoulders and then sent her off with the boy. She went on her way and wandered in the Desert of Beersheba.
Genesis 21 9-14

There you see God sided in with Sarah and he told Abraham so. What's this tell you? That in your every day life you can pray about all situations and God will indeed move upon your husband if need be to get across to him the right thing to do. He may not even know that God told him but rather he just starts to think your way. It most certainly is not a scenario that you're without a way for your husband to change is mind. God will deal with your husband if he's wrong. Another thing about this submission thing....I trust you're knowing enough to realize it by no means says your husband can order you around in a abusive fashion being mean and you think that his headship over the home is still valid. I've heard strange things in my 60 years, things like husbands telling their wives to do things immoral like adultery or whatever or telling them to steal. Nope...husband's headship of the home is not accepted by God in all those type situations either.

Well-placed Biblical reference. I think you're right. If I'm to submit, I need to trust that God. Something I always need to work on.

 

[GoldenRule636]

your cousin was correct in his assessment(RELEASE THE HOUNDS!!). feeling like a command from God to submit to your husband is a burden would go against 1 john 5:2-3. why do you find this command a burden?

attempting to turn this into a choice that you decide to make is you attempting to form some sort of control and authority for yourself. you don't want to just surrender, you want to have some control.

go to ephesians 5:22 and read to the end of the chapter. you'll see that the man has an extremely high calling and responsibility to his wife. he must sacrifice everything for her good in laying down his very life for her. submitting to a man who will give you everything he has isn't so bad now is it?

It's not so much that. I think there was just something about the idea that as a woman, I am not considered weak or worth less than men simply because I was born a woman. Something about that mindset has always bothered me, and made me feel inadequate. The idea that I could choose to glorify God by obeying His commands seemed more appealing. We have free will, and that is why we sin, but it also gives us the chance to actively pursue God's word and follow His laws.

It's not that I don't want to follow scriptural teachings. I do. I'm not trying to be prideful, which is why I made this thread asking for opinions. Guess I'm just unsure how to submit without choosing to submit as God commands.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

It's not so much that. I think there was just something about the idea that as a woman, I am not considered weak or worth less than men simply because I was born a woman. Something about that mindset has always bothered me, and made me feel inadequate. The idea that I could choose to glorify God by obeying His commands seemed more appealing. We have free will, and that is why we sin, but it also gives us the chance to actively pursue God's word and follow His laws.

It's not that I don't want to follow scriptural teachings. I do. I'm not trying to be prideful, which is why I made this thread asking for opinions. Guess I'm just unsure how to submit without choosing to submit as God commands.

the reference about women being weaker vessels has to do with vulnerability and not capability. when a woman abides by the command to submit to her husband in everything, she puts herself in a vulnerable position. proverbs 31 would do away with the notion of women being inferior. a woman is absolutely of equal value to her family and society in her distinct role of womanhood.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Is it prideful to think of being a submissive wife as a choice that I will make?

Yes.
It is or may be also rebellious and idolatrous.

Your initial feelings and emotions and throuhts about this were all based on the natural carnal worldly nature we all were born with and almost all grew up with.

That's why.

"Almost all" and not "all" (re 'grew up with')
because if a child is raised in the way they should go, they will not depart from it when they are older; (according to Yahweh's Word).