Alone with no hope in sight

[ToBeLoved]

Sorry but 8 years alone, after putting my goals on hold, after supporting my ex though hers, after supporting and raising my step kids like my own, and having it all ripped away for whatever reason she had, she never told me, having survived swine flu, legionaries disease and a number of others, I think I've been through enough, where simply asking God for happiness doesn't seem like it's too much to ask for.

Faith IS trusting that God has abundant plans for your life. But will you only accept abundance on your terms? Keep yourself open to abundance and I find being grateful for the blessings I already have help me when I feel like I'm getting the short end of the blessings stick, if you know what I mean.

 

[Conker]

Read the book of Job Mate, you'll find your answers there.

 

[NW82]

Faith IS trusting that God has abundant plans for your life. But will you only accept abundance on your terms? Keep yourself open to abundance and I find being grateful for the blessings I already have help me when I feel like I'm getting the short end of the blessings stick, if you know what I mean.

I have a hard time believing that abundance equals a lack of companionship.

 

[NW82]

Read the book of Job Mate, you'll find your answers there.

I already have, several times. I get that I am nobody and nothing and who am I to question what God does. If I am indeed supposed to live alone for the rest of my life, I have no choice, but I would like to know why...because I know I'm going to hate it. That and Job was given everything back 10 fold. I've been where I am for almost 10 years and for what?

 

[TravelerFarAwayFromHome]

poison and viciousness seeping through everything it touches, absorbed by their every single fibres.

light is faint and useless to penetrate the disgusting vile poison, despair and hopeless abound.

 

[TravelerFarAwayFromHome]

Sorry but 8 years alone, after putting my goals on hold, after supporting my ex though hers, after supporting and raising my step kids like my own, and having it all ripped away for whatever reason she had, she never told me, having survived swine flu, legionaries disease and a number of others, I think I've been through enough, where simply asking God for happiness doesn't seem like it's too much to ask for.

sorry to hear this.

 

[TravelerFarAwayFromHome]

be careful about sharing this on Christian forums net, i did it once, and got kicked by at least two users there.

 

[ToBeLoved]

I have a hard time believing that abundance equals a lack of companionship.

Maybe the issue is that loneliness or a lack of it is more important than God. It sounds like you've given God an ultimatum

 

[ToBeLoved]

I already have, several times. I get that I am nobody and nothing and who am I to question what God does. If I am indeed supposed to live alone for the rest of my life, I have no choice, but I would like to know why...because I know I'm going to hate it. That and Job was given everything back 10 fold. I've been where I am for almost 10 years and for what?

Abundance can be found in being thankful for what you do have while waiting fir other blessings. Post a prayer request on the prayer wall. Petition God and have others pray for you also.

 

[NW82]

Maybe the issue is that loneliness or a lack of it is more important than God. It sounds like you've given God an ultimatum

I don't think so. I simply don't know how I'm supposed to go on living my life mind l like this. The loneliness is constant and crushing. It's so bad that right now I'm wishing for something I shouldn't. I do not want to be alone and yet it's like God wants me to be alone. But it hurts so much. I pray daily for this to end. Yet I am faced with it day in and day out. So what I'd like to know is why.

 

[ToBeLoved]

I don't think so. I simply don't know how I'm supposed to go on living my life mind l like this. The loneliness is constant and crushing. It's so bad that right now I'm wishing for something I shouldn't. I do not want to be alone and yet it's like God wants me to be alone. But it hurts so much. I pray daily for this to end. Yet I am faced with it day in and day out. So what I'd like to know is why.

So is it a significant other or friendships? Because maybe you don't have friendships so you feel so alone not having a significant other in your life. One type of relationship is often made more evident in our lives when we do not have a support system or family and friends.

Maybe you should concentrate on friendships and alleviate that overall lonliness while you look for that special someone

 

[dysert]

I simply want to know why God favored my twin brother his entire life and I have gotten the crap end.

I feel the same way about my brother. He fell bass-ackward into a cushy, lifetime job with lots of benefits, lots of money, and a pension. He has had it made for years, and I have suffered for years.

No one my area that I checked do this. Never was there supposed to be a "pastor".

I think you're wrong about this, as Eph. 4:11 indicates -> "And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers"

simply asking God for happiness doesn't seem like it's too much to ask for.

God has never promised us happiness, so why not quit asking for it and learn to be content in your circumstances?

but I would like to know why

"Why?" is the huge question almost all of us struggle with. Unfortunately, it is usually met with silence. I suggest that you quit looking for an answer to "why?" and learn to be content.

Almost everyone has a whole boatload of reasons why we don't feel blessed or that God loves us. I'm the same way. Lots of people have significant problems: unmarried, in a bad marriage, no kids, have kids that are brats, physically not whole, mentally challenged, the list goes on.

Personally, I have had depression for 20 years. I've endured a loveless marriage for 7 years. I can't hold a job. Meanwhile my brother has it made. I've stopped asking "why?", stopped wondering what's wrong with me, stopped wondering why God is silent or seemingly doesn't care about me. Once those strivings ceased I eventually became content.

I do my best in my day job, knowing I'll get fired in six months regardless. I use my talent as a writer to write, knowing no one will read it. I teach a Bible study. I teach at a local college. In summary, I still exercise the talents the Lord has given me without beating myself up with "why?" or "why me?" There is no answer to these questions, so I suggest you stop asking them.

 

[NW82]

In summary, I still exercise the talents the Lord has given me without beating myself up with "why?" or "why me?" There is no answer to these questions, so I suggest you stop asking them.

In effect "shut up and deal with it". That's awesome.

 

[dysert]

In effect "shut up and deal with it". That's awesome.

That's not even close to what I said and you know it.

 

[NW82]

That's not even close to what I said and you know it.

Actually it is, but please tell me more about what I already know. You said:

God has never promised us happiness, so why not quit asking for it and learn to be content in your circumstances?

So if you are miserable, then be content in misery.

"Why?" is the huge question almost all of us struggle with. Unfortunately, it is usually met with silence. I suggest that you quit looking for an answer to "why?" and learn to be content.

You're stating to ignore my personality's mindset and again be content in misery.

Almost everyone has a whole boatload of reasons why we don't feel blessed or that God loves us. I'm the same way. Lots of people have significant problems: unmarried, in a bad marriage, no kids, have kids that are brats, physically not whole, mentally challenged, the list goes on.

Personally, I have had depression for 20 years. I've endured a loveless marriage for 7 years. I can't hold a job. Meanwhile my brother has it made. I've stopped asking "why?", stopped wondering what's wrong with me, stopped wondering why God is silent or seemingly doesn't care about me. Once those strivings ceased I eventually became content.

You have direct input and interaction on all of this...I don't even have the option.

I do my best in my day job, knowing I'll get fired in six months regardless. I use my talent as a writer to write, knowing no one will read it. I teach a Bible study. I teach at a local college. In summary, I still exercise the talents the Lord has given me without beating myself up with "why?" or "why me?" There is no answer to these questions, so I suggest you stop asking them.

If you do your job, you won't get fired...laid off perhaps, but not fired. There is always an answer to why something happened, as everything has a cause and affect.

 

[Rescued One]

Are you actively trying to make me feel worse? I asked a question but nothing you've said remotely answers it.

Someone has to know you and gentinely care about you to answer most questions. Some people are more comfortable than others when meeting new people. Many of us grew up in dysfunctional families and weren't taught social skills. We also might not have had good role models of how marriage should work. It isn't fifty/fifty. Each has to be willing to give more; not just one should give more.

One thing I've learned over the years is to stop telling people that I don't like certain habits, don't like their kind of music, etc. As Dale Carnegie said, "Don’t criticize, condemn or complain." I grew up with so much criticism, I can hardly take anymore. However, I have to keep in mind Proverbs 19:20 Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.
And:
Psalm 1:1 Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

And I always recommend Dale Carnegie's advice:
First up for our consideration is “don’t criticize, condemn or complain.” This should be obvious for one reason – nobody likes to be around anyone who is constantly criticizing them or complaining about their behavior. Okay, so you’re sick and tired that your boss, spouse, kid, employee or someone else won’t change. I’ll bet a light bulb didn’t just come on and you thought, “Perhaps if I nag enough that will do the trick.” No, in most cases if people were honest they’d admit the “advice” they’ve been giving ranges from subtle jabs to flat out complaining. People say, “You never…” or “You always…” as if saying it louder or repeating it more will bring about the change they want to see.
Don't Criticize, Condemn or Complain - influencePEOPLE

http://images.kw.com/docs/2/1/2/212345/1285134779158_htwfaip.pdf

Ephesians 4
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Perhaps people don't seem sincere, or perhaps our judgment is flawed. Either way, we have to concentrate on becoming who God wants us to be so that we can be an example to those around us. I'm not better than my neighbor, and I'm not better than the person sitting next to me.

God bless!

 

[Rescued One]

dysert and NW82,

Proverbs 15
1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

"It is always easier to listen to some unpleasant things after we have heard some praise of our good points."
Dale Carnegie

God bless you both!

 

[Rescued One]

I already have, several times. I get that I am nobody and nothing and who am I to question what God does. If I am indeed supposed to live alone for the rest of my life, I have no choice, but I would like to know why...because I know I'm going to hate it. That and Job was given everything back 10 fold. I've been where I am for almost 10 years and for what?

You seem to be expecting more than you are willing to give. Many of us ask for advice, but don't really want it. What we really want is sympathy. Those of us who keep saying, "I guess I'll go out in the garden and eat worms," are going to make others run away from us. We all have days when we want to say that, but we can't dwell on it. Ask not how the Lord can bless you; ask how you can bless others!

Proverbs 16
24 Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul...

 

[dysert]

NW82, you posted in the Christian Advice section, so I assumed you were looking for Christian Advice. I empathize with your condition, having been there myself, and to some degree am still there. However, I was trying to offer you advice that to some extent has worked for me. If you don't want advice, then either don't post here or ignore everything everyone has said (which you seem to be doing). I wish you the best of luck.

 

[NW82]

NW82, you posted in the Christian Advice section, so I assumed you were looking for Christian Advice. I empathize with your condition, having been there myself, and to some degree am still there. However, I was trying to offer you advice that to some extent has worked for me. If you don't want advice, then either don't post here or ignore everything everyone has said (which you seem to be doing). I wish you the best of luck.

Telling me to deal with it, isn't advice to change anything. It is merely saying stay in the situation and deal with it as is. Telling someone to stay in a hole they can't get out of, and to deal with it, that's not advice, it's a lazy reply.