Alone with no hope in sight

[NW82]

I'm looking for advice about how to accept being alone for the rest of my life. Is there a way to let go and ignore the pain? My ex-wife cheated on me and asked for a divorce between Christmas and New Year in 2009...that's 6 and a half years. I got told it was just a season, but 6+ years isn't a season. I'm 35, I have a good job, but the friends I do have do not live nearby (a couple hundred miles at the closest) and my nearest family is a 600 miles away. I basically work, and do nothing else. I've tried going to churches but even the best one I had been a part of ended up being fake people and more concerned with title than Christ. I honestly want to just give up and stop everything. I often wonder if God hates me, but then I have to go back to His word that says he doesn't; but if that's true then why do I have to suffer through loneliness for so long...what did I do?

 

[“Paisios”]

Welcome to the site, and I am sorry that you are suffering at present. Sadly, I have no advice, but I will pray for you, and hope that others here - there are a lot of compassionate people here, and I am sure many have similar situations - can help you out.

 

[Lucian Hodoboc]

Have you tried dating again after your divorce?

 

[rockytopva]

If E = mc2 then we can divide and conclude that...

Mass (m) = Energy (E/c2)

And there are three varieties...

Natural E/c2 - All mass is basically cooled plasma
Mental E/c2 - Mentally, A mathematical formula, but this has chemical and spiritual properties as well.
Spiritual E/c2 - E (motivation, warmth, love) / c2 (faith, hope, charity, joy)

The great Roman poet Ovid once said, "My hopes are not always realized, but I always hope." It is important to have hope, even if it is imaginary. Sometimes the objects we pursue were better in imagination than in reality anyway. I have a video in which I encourage to latch onto all the faith and hope you can get!

 

[“Paisios”]

If E = mc2 then we can divide and conclude that...

Mass (m) = Energy (E/c2)

And there are three varieties...

Natural E/c2 - All mass is basically cooled plasma
Mental E/c2 - Mentally, A mathematical formula, but this has chemical and spiritual properties as well.
Spiritual E/c2 - E (motivation, warmth, love) / c2 (faith, hope, charity, joy)

The great Roman poet Ovid once said, "My hopes are not always realized, but I always hope." It is important to have hope, even if it is imaginary. Sometimes the objects we pursue were better in imagination than in reality anyway. I have a video in which I encourage to latch onto all the faith and hope you can get!

First, I love quotes from Ovid...haven't read him since high school.

Second you post reminded me of this quote from CS Lewis' The Silver Chair: "“One word, Ma'am," he said, coming back from the fire; limping, because of the pain. "One word. All you've been saying is quite right, I shouldn't wonder. I'm a chap who always liked to know the worst and then put the best face I can on it. So I won't deny any of what you said. But there's one more thing to be said, even so. Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things-trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that's a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by the play world. I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any Narnia. So, thanking you kindly for our supper, if these two gentlemen and the young lady are ready, we're leaving your court at once and setting out in the dark to spend our lives looking for Overland. Not that our lives will be very long, I should think; but that's a small loss if the world's as dull a place as you say."

Anyway, back to regularly scheduled programming...

 

[NW82]

Have you tried dating again after your divorce?

Yes, twice and neither worked only after a couple months.

If E = mc2 then we can divide and conclude that...

Mass (m) = Energy (E/c2)

And there are three varieties...

Natural E/c2 - All mass is basically cooled plasma
Mental E/c2 - Mentally, A mathematical formula, but this has chemical and spiritual properties as well.
Spiritual E/c2 - E (motivation, warmth, love) / c2 (faith, hope, charity, joy)

The great Roman poet Ovid once said, "My hopes are not always realized, but I always hope." It is important to have hope, even if it is imaginary. Sometimes the objects we pursue were better in imagination than in reality anyway. I have a video in which I encourage to latch onto all the faith and hope you can get!

Faith isn't my problem. Hope may be a problem of mine, but hope is in rather short supply. Hoping in something that will never occur isn't a solution. Hope in something that will happen, yet not seen, is faith (example being the return of Christ), which again isn't my problem. There is no promise in scripture that we won't be alone (aside from the Lord). Even falling back on the Word, where God is always with us (which is true) doesn't take the sting of loneliness away. God isn't going to fix my problems with a magic wand and I know that. But understanding what I did or why I am required to live like this would be nice. If I had a clear knowledge of the purpose then it would at least make it bearable; I don't even have that.

For your last variation of the equation "E" would actually have to exist and it doesn't, not in a tangible form anyway, and "c2" would have to contain all 4 points you stated and I have no hope or joy. Logically speaking the equation, as it pertains to my life, isn't valid.

Ovid was a pagan and believed in the Roman gods, so I'm not one to put much into what he would say.

 

[rockytopva]

Yes, twice and neither worked only after a couple months.


Faith isn't my problem. Hope may be a problem of mine, but hope is in rather short supply. Hoping in something that will never occur isn't a solution. Hope in something that will happen, yet not seen, is faith (example being the return of Christ), which again isn't my problem. There is no promise in scripture that we won't be alone (aside from the Lord). Even falling back on the Word, where God is always with us (which is true) doesn't take the sting of loneliness away. God isn't going to fix my problems with a magic wand and I know that. But understanding what I did or why I am required to live like this would be nice. If I had a clear knowledge of the purpose then it would at least make it bearable; I don't even have that.

For your last variation of the equation "E" would actually have to exist and it doesn't, not in a tangible form anyway, and "c2" would have to contain all 4 points you stated and I have no hope or joy. Logically speaking the equation, as it pertains to my life, isn't valid.

Ovid was a pagan and believed in the Roman gods, so I'm not one to put much into what he would say.

Well, then, try the Apostle Paul...

4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity. - 1 Corinthians 13

Hope and faith are fantastical words, apart from reality.

For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? - Romans 8:24

 

[NW82]

Well, then, try the Apostle Paul...

4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity. - 1 Corinthians 13

Hope and faith are fantastical words, apart from reality.

For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? - Romans 8:24

Are you actively trying to make me feel worse? I asked a question but nothing you've said remotely answers it.

 

[rockytopva]

Are you actively trying to make me feel worse? I asked a question but nothing you've said remotely answers it.

I have never been married. I took care of my grandparents and ailing mother and the woman of my age had no use in helping me bear my burdens.

But... I still hope! If you look at children at play their whole imagination is involved in an imaginary world. This is what makes them so full of life. It simply does not hurt to have hope, even though, from the human perspective, such hope is totally imaginary.

 

[NW82]

I have never been married. I took care of my grandparents and ailing mother and the woman of my age had no use in helping me bear my burdens.

But... I still hope! If you look at children at play their whole imagination is involved in an imaginary world. This is what makes them so full of life. It simply does not hurt to have hope, even though, from the human perspective, such hope is totally imaginary.

I'm an adult not a child. Hoping for fake things isn't a rational or logical thing to do.

 

[rockytopva]

I'm an adult not a child. Hoping for fake things isn't a rational or logical thing to do.

But... Spirituality is not Knowledge... Therefore is cannot be taught
And... Spirituality is not Material... Therefore it cannot be bought!

For ye had compassion of me in my bonds, and took joyfully the spoiling of your goods, knowing in yourselves that ye have in heaven a better and an enduring substance. - Hebrews 10:34

Unless the folks in Hebrew had an active imagination there is no joy in spoiled goods!

 

[NW82]

But... Spirituality is not Knowledge... Therefore is cannot be taught
And... Spirituality is not Material... Therefore it cannot be bought!

For ye had compassion of me in my bonds, and took joyfully the spoiling of your goods, knowing in yourselves that ye have in heaven a better and an enduring substance. - Hebrews 10:34

Unless the folks in Hebrew had an active imagination there is no joy in spoiled goods!

You aren't helping. Thanks for making me feel even worse. Nothing you have said is even remotely relevant. At no time did I refer to anything material. I'm alone and it hurts. I've been alone for years and there isn't any realistic sign of that changing. I asked for advice for how to accept it because I feel like I can't. You've done nothing but make thing worse. Thanks.

 

[rockytopva]

You aren't helping. Thanks for making me feel even worse. Nothing you have said is even remotely relevant. At no time did I refer to anything material. I'm alone and it hurts. I've been alone for years and there isn't any realistic sign of that changing. I asked for advice for how to accept it because I feel like I can't. You've done nothing but make thing worse. Thanks.

All I am trying to do is encourage hope.

 

[NW82]

All I am trying to do is encourage hope.

No you aren't. You are encouraging false hope, which is fundamentally different. Just stop.

 

[rockytopva]

No you aren't. You are encouraging false hope, which is fundamentally different. Just stop.

But all hope is false! It is invisible and imaginary until the thing hoped for comes to pass. This is why sometimes we can hope for material things and that hope provided a richer spirituality than actually inheriting that which was hoped for.

For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? - Romans 8:24

I say.... Since hope is not material it is a free thing to do. Who knows if God the Father will honor your faith and hope one day beyond that which you were able to hope for?

 

[rockytopva]

I am not an Joel Osteen fan or supporter... But the guy has made 100's of millions simply getting people to hope.

 

[NW82]

But all hope is false! It is invisible and imaginary until the thing hoped for comes to pass. This is why sometimes we can hope for material things and that hope provided a richer spirituality than actually inheriting that which was hoped for.

For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? - Romans 8:24

I say.... Since hope is not material it is a free thing to do. Who knows if God the Father will honor your faith and hope one day beyond that which you were able to hope for?

All hope isn't false, faith by definition is the belief in things not seen yet hoped for. By saying all hope is false you are the hope for the return of Christ is false. So again, stop; or do I need to define that too? You ARE NOT helping

 

[rockytopva]

All hope isn't false, faith by definition is the belief in things not seen yet hoped for. By saying all hope is false you are the hope for the return of Christ is false. So again, stop; or do I need to define that too? You ARE NOT helping

Well then, I hope you can find someone besides me to help you.

 

[tryintogrow]

NW82, what you're asking for is fundamentally impossible. You're looking at people who do not believe and will not accept that you are doomed to be alone forever. Asking them to help you "accept" it isn't going to work.

You're only 35. There is plenty of time. You can keep yelling at us and going backwards emotionally, or you can get to work on confronting the emotional damage that is clearly holding you back.

 

[Kit Sigmon]

Is there strong enough reasons for you to continue living 600 miles from
family and a couple of hundred miles from friends?