Almost giving up

[Joey16Vargas]

Hi fellow christians.

I need to tell this to someone, but as I have no one close enough, I need your help.

Until my 10th birthday, I was considered handsome, but puberty was (and still is) a really difficult time for me. It's in that time when boys get handsome and girls get beautiful. But in my case, it was the opposite. I've had acne for the last 6 years, and it seems that it won't go away, and if it eventually does, it'll leave huge scars in my face. Everyone thought I was going be tall, around 6 feet (183 centimeters) but I'm only 5'6 (168 centimeters) and I won't grow anymore. I've been rejected by every single girl I've asked out has rejected me, and in my lifetime I will never ask a girl out, no matter, I don't want to get rejected once again. Plus I'm not a modern guy, I don't go to parties, I don't drink, I don't talk a lot, and even when I'd like to, I don't know how to dance. I get good degrees in college, I respect everyone, I'm not cocky, etc. I remember once in my teen years I committed a horrible sin, then I ask God for forgiveness countless times, but I think this is the punishment he is giving me for such terrible sin. A Christian girl wants in a man God's best, inside and outside, me on the other hand, I'm closer to be God's worst than God's best. That's the way I feel. I've considered suicide, anyway nobody would miss me, and I think it would be better for my parents, they could save more money. The only thing I haven't committed suicide is because it's a sin.

That's the way I feel

You don't need to respond, I just needed to tell that to someone.

Thank you.


Edit: when I was in high school, a female classmate told me this “your three older brothers are hot, on the other hand you're quite ugly" I remember that every time I look myself in the mirror.

 

[ChristianGirl_96]

Please seek help pronto!

 

[Chris V++]

Joey This is really sad to read. Have you seen a doctor or dermatologist about your acne? There are so many new treatments . You sound really lonely. They say you always meet that person when you least expect it, so never give up. Your parents will be completely destroyed if you commit suicide. Life is so short anyway, like a mist according to James. 'Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.'

 

[gym_class_hero]

Hey Joey, God bless you. He has a plan for your life. Although when we are young, sometimes it’s hard to see the forest thru the trees. I don’t know what your terrible sin was, but God has promised in His word to forgive us if we are faithful and just to confess it. Think about King David in the Bible...I doubt your sin was comparable to his, yet God forgave him and used him greatly. He can do the same for you.

 

[Joey16Vargas]

I've tried everything, i went to a really expensive dermatologist, but it didn't work.
I've tried every single home remedy, but nothing changed

 

[musicalpilgrim]

There is a reason for acne, a change of diet can ease the problem. The doctor told my daughter to cut out chocolate and sweets. That was a while ago but it helped.
Spiritually, John 3:16 is for you. Jesus died because he loved you so much, so all your sins are forgiven.
I pray for you that you will grow in grace as you seek more of him in your life. Read your Bible and pray every day.
God bless

 

[Joey16Vargas]

There is a reason for acne, a change of diet can ease the problem. The doctor told my daughter to cut out chocolate and sweets. That was a while ago but it helped.
Spiritually, John 3:16 is for you. Jesus died because he loved you so much, so all your sins are forgiven.
I pray for you that you will grow in grace as you seek more of him in your life. Read your Bible and pray every day.
God bless

I've tried everything possible, I went to a expensive dermatologist, I've changed diets many times, I've cut off flours and other things, I tried every home remedy. Nothing worked
Thanks for your reply

 

[Aussie Pete]

Hi fellow christians.

I need to tell this to someone, but as I have no one close enough, I need your help.

Until my 10th birthday, I was considered handsome, but puberty was (and still is) a really difficult time for me. It's in that time when boys get handsome and girls get beautiful. But in my case, it was the opposite. I've had acne for the last 6 years, and it seems that it won't go away, and if it eventually does, it'll leave huge scars in my face. Everyone thought I was going be tall, around 6 feet (183 centimeters) but I'm only 5'6 (168 centimeters) and I won't grow anymore. I've been rejected by every single girl I've asked out has rejected me, and in my lifetime I will never ask a girl out, no matter, I don't want to get rejected once again. Plus I'm not a modern guy, I don't go to parties, I don't drink, I don't talk a lot, and even when I'd like to, I don't know how to dance. I get good degrees in college, I respect everyone, I'm not cocky, etc. I remember once in my teen years I committed a horrible sin, then I ask God for forgiveness countless times, but I think this is the punishment he is giving me for such terrible sin. A Christian girl wants in a man God's best, inside and outside, me on the other hand, I'm closer to be God's worst than God's best. That's the way I feel. I've considered suicide, anyway nobody would miss me, and I think it would be better for my parents, they could save more money. The only thing I haven't committed suicide is because it's a sin.

That's the way I feel

You don't need to respond, I just needed to tell that to someone.

Thank you.


Edit: when I was in high school, a female classmate told me this “your three older brothers are hot, on the other hand you're quite ugly" I remember that every time I look myself in the mirror.

God does not punish a Christian's sin. He punished Lord Jesus instead. You need to know that you are forgiven, not only that, when God forgives, He forgets.

You would be amazed at how differently women see men. Men are drawn to looks much more than women. You may have noticed that yourself. The teenage years are difficult. Appearances are everything at that age. A dear friend of mine had plastic surgery because her brother kept mocking her nose. He was the only one, but she took it to heart. People can be cruel.

God looks at the heart, not outward appearance. So do decent Christian women. God accepts you if you are born again. As you allow Lord Jesus to set you free, you will become a different person. You will be handsome on the inside. And that will show on the outside.

This article will help you: Are you under condemnation? - Christian Life Frankston

 

[Jeshu]

I've had acne for the last 6 years, and it seems that it won't go away, and if it eventually does, it'll leave huge scars in my face.

Hi acne on the face is horrible and a lot of shop remedies don't work, but cost a fortune. My kids used good old oats to fight acne with very good success. Boil some oats in a little water into a thick runny paste. Let it cool and smear oat paste on face. Leave on for about 15-20 minutes and wash off. Do this everyday for a few weeks and you will notice that the acne goes away and your skin becomes nice and soft.

I've been rejected by every single girl I've asked out has rejected me, and in my lifetime I will never ask a girl out, no matter, I don't want to get rejected once again.

Please don't be discouraged i was let down by heaps of girls i liked as well but in the end i found the love of my heart 18000 kilometres away, we married and have been happy ever since. Don't give up because of rejection but rather bring the rejection to God and accept that she wasn't suppose to be the one.

It sounds like you could use some good counselling to fight the depression. The first thing you need to know that God forgives sin. He doesn't punish us if we ask for forgiveness.

Please be of good courage.

 

[Shadow]

Hi fellow christians.

I need to tell this to someone, but as I have no one close enough, I need your help.

Non-Christian here. I'm going to add a few thoughts and I hope that will be ok. Best of luck to you Joey: You know we are here on the forums if you need to talk.

Plus I'm not a modern guy, I don't go to parties, I don't drink, I don't talk a lot, and even when I'd like to, I don't know how to dance. I get good degrees in college, I respect everyone, I'm not cocky, etc.

When you're older, you'll realise those are some pretty good life choices. It won't feel like it now, but it shows you respect yourself and you are trying to do what you want and not just go along with the crowd. Having been a quiet, nerdy loner when I was a kid, it is not something I enjoyed but you do grow out of it when you realise how much more there is to life and to explore.

Talking and Dancing is about feeling relaxed and not getting too embarrassed. Alcohol can "help" people feel more relaxed, but that is generally a sign they are covering up a number of problems and are uncomfortable around others to begin with. Drink doesn't solve the underlying unease or encourage people to develop the social skills that make lasting friends and relationships. When I was at University, the conversation consisted of discussing how "wasted" people got last night: one guy woke up in a garden hedge. As the non-drinker and the "light weight" of the group, I'd usually turn in early for the night. I caved in to peer pressure and drank "something" but that was it. The drinking, partying, dancing, etc is all about a weird kind of bonding by making an absolute fool of yourself. Or else, you wake up and have no memory of the night before and your friends play the video they recorded of you singing whilst having your pants down or passing out with your head half way in the toilet because your vomiting uncontrollably. It's weird what makes us "popular" and it doesn't really reflect on who we are as people in the end.

The "Modern guys" who drink, party and dance had to start somewhere and their skills are generally learned. They struggle as much as the result of us and cover it up. Sometimes the loneliest place is right in the middle of the crowd, and I think we can imagine what it's like having sex with a cute girl then realising it was never anything more than a fling whilst you might want more. Just because some people make it look easy, doesn't mean it is. The Media tries to "sell" the idea that everything can be easy, when its not. In real life (and the media) Alot of it is performance and when you see the mask drop, you realise the "Modern guys" are just as scared of screwing up as the rest of us. Sometimes more so because they know it's all an act and they don't know if people would like who they really are if they let their guard down.

What you have going for you is being authentic. you are trying to be yourself. If you work on building up your confidence, you can make enormous progress in becoming more sociable and at ease around others. Ideally, find a social group where you share an activity in common, can talk about that and do it together. You mention College, so perhaps there is a debating society or public speaking competition you could try. Maybe you like acting and want to perform on a stage in a local theatrics club.

If you build relationships from that, you'll pick up the social cues in good time. Our personalities can change and grow and just because we can feel somewhat trapped now by a sense of not being comfortable around others, doesn't mean we have to accept that and we can do little things to change it. It's amazing how small things can feel like real achievements when we take steps towards the goal being accepted by other people.

I've considered suicide, anyway nobody would miss me, and I think it would be better for my parents, they could save more money. The only thing I haven't committed suicide is because it's a sin.

Having felt suicidal myself in the past, it is important to remember that it is usually a strong, but temporary impulse. We feel distressed, hurt and scared and we feel trapped and so we look for an escape and the brain sort of tricks us in to believing the suicide will give us an "escape" from our problems. Sometimes it is also about feeling in control when you feel you have none. The impulse usually does pass and it involves a kind of tunnel vision that can change very dramatically once your mind starts to feel freer and more expansive. Having been in a battle over my mental health for over a decade, having these sharp low spells does wear you down, but it can give you more wisdom when you realise what is important in your life and take steps to work towards doing things you enjoy and love.

Obviously, the most important thing is to find someone to talk to. A friend, a family member, someone from work or school. The main thing is you will probably feel embarrassed or ashamed about opening up, but then you start and it will come tumbling out. In posting this on the forum, you have tried to reach out and made that step. So perhaps, when you are ready, you may feel comfortable take that next step and telling someone you know offline.

Perceptions of mental health are changing and whilst depression and suicide remain difficult subjects, we are becoming more open to discussing how we feel as a society. Feeling suicidal isn't something to be ashamed about. Given the range of pressures we face, it is sadly remarkably common that we feel that way. You may well have friends who are going through the same thing or who know someone who is dealing with depression. Either way, you're not alone on this and support can come from the most unexpected places. The hard part is taking the first step in admitting to someone you need and want help.

 

[Tempura]

Dear brother, don't give up. It's a hard thing growing up, having to deal with things we can't seem to change. It's so easy to look at ourselves, then others, then ourselves again and "brand" ourselves because of the differences we see and feel. If disappointments keep piling up, it's very easy for us to get that strange tunnel vision where we only condemn ourselves and elevate everybody else in comparison. The need to belong, the need to not be different and the need to impress becomes so heavy that we don't know what to do with it and we can go a little bit insane.

I learned to deal with severe disappointments only when I was older. There were just so many things that I couldn't accept before, so I took the route of hating myself. For everything that went wrong, I blamed myself. For everything I wanted to be but I weren't, I blamed myself. I hated myself for having a stutter (I still can't talk normally), I hated myself for not having enough confidence, I hated myself for not "being enough of a man" in relation to women, I hated being shy, you name it. In my heart I became very bitter too. I didn't show it much, but I was very bitter towards people who seemed to have it more easy than me. Everything that was a problem to me, I turned into self-loathing so eventually I just went a bit insane. All the relationships I had were extremely unhealthy, it was always just two broken people making each other more miserable, and I couldn't even hold on to those relationships, and ended up getting cheated multiple times and it absolutely wrecked me. Then I medicated myself with all the wrong things and I became an alcoholic. At some point I went to treatment because I was severely depressed, but I didn't really think it would work so I just abused the system to get anxiety meds which I also abused for many years. So there I was, a self-hating drunk, not able to function after years of awful life and slow self-destruction. Nothing but bottles and trash around me. I was sure I would have to kill myself. I didn't really want to, but I just couldn't take the pain anymore. I remember crying over my decision to kill myself, and instead of doing it I just prayed. I prayed a weak prayer, not really even believing, but it was my last resort. And that night, even if I didn't feel much effect, I didn't take my life. I didn't take it the next day either. I didn't know it then, but that was a turning point. Later on I realized my life started slowly getting better. I remember one day when I actually felt hope. Real hope, even if I was still a mess. I just decided to have hope. I kind of surrendered everything to God because I couldn't carry my burdens alone. I let a frail idea about God loving even me in. The treatments starting working as well, because there was this small but significant change in my heart and approach. All of this took such a long time, and I would have been so much better so much quicker if I just somehow snapped out of constant self-loathing, endlessly comparing myself to others, endlessly wallowing in that certain kind of useless shame that doesn't help. But I didn't know how to do it so I had to learn the hard way. But in the end, there was acceptance, there was more peace, there was hope, and there was love.

You can do better though, because I'm a really thick, dumb bastard. I never learn anything easy, and my initial decisions and reactions are almost always wrong. You on the other hand, you seem like a smart, decent guy. You're having a very hard time in life now, you feel very low as if you don't have any value, but eventually you will see the light.

I'm closer to be God's worst than God's best.

This is not true. You are precious to God, you have been bought with a great price. You are His. We make a great mistake if we try to decide our value before God based on our circumstances or what we feel. We either become proud and less compassionate towards others, or we start to feel so low that we think even God couldn't love us or outright hates us. But God's love is too pure, too deep to be judged through our own warped lenses.

We all have our cross to bear, whatever it may be. But we don't have to think we're carrying it by ourselves alone. He is right there with us. God has a strange ability to turn the tables. "Blessed are those who weep", "in my weakness His strength is perfect". There is always something about certain kinds of lowliness and suffering that God absolutely will use. He will use it for your own good, but He will also use it for the good of others. Through suffering we will get to a place where superficial things lose their importance to us, and things that do matter, gain more importance. It's a great relief when we eventually let go of some things, and embrace better things. Patience, hope, peace and strength will come as a result. And if we are to be of any use for our suffering neighbor, it's good for us for having been through something first. Some of them we can help without suffering of our own, but some people are so deep that they need help from others who have been there. If one is stuck in a pit, they will welcome anyone who knows what that pit is. And if one has been in the pit, they will not easily judge their brothers and sisters, and they will have more compassion for them than they otherwise would. All things, in the end, can work for good, no matter how impossible it might seem to us right now.

Do not think God makes you suffer though, do not think He hates you or punishes you. Think of Him as one who is familiar with suffering, since He, in His Son, suffered for you already. Think of Jesus Christ as your Lord, yes, but also as your friend who knows you better than you know yourself, including what you are going through. The best brothers and sisters, the most compassionate ones that I have met, are the ones that have gone through some really hard times. Not the ones who got everything they wanted, not the ones who are glorious in the eyes of the world for superficial things.

I don't know if this helped at all, I tend to ramble a lot. But keep going brother. Even if the voice of despair is loud, try not to listen to it. It's all lies. It makes itself seem like the only truth, but it's not. I hope you get all kinds of help, for your condition but especially for your mental health. There are so many people like you, and all of you think they're alone. I thought I was alone too. It's the saddest thing. But you're not alone. God Himself is with you, working in many ways, putting up His unshakeable foundation even when we think everything is going to ruins. God is with you, and so are we, even if a lot us are stumbling and can't always find the right words.

Said a prayer for you, Christ be with you. Keep on living Joey. You'll get there, you will have peace in the end, and you'll be a blessing for many.

 

[Joey16Vargas]

Thank you to all of you, I really appreciate this. God bless you all.

 

[Angeleyes7715]

Hi fellow christians.

I need to tell this to someone, but as I have no one close enough, I need your help.

Until my 10th birthday, I was considered handsome, but puberty was (and still is) a really difficult time for me. It's in that time when boys get handsome and girls get beautiful. But in my case, it was the opposite. I've had acne for the last 6 years, and it seems that it won't go away, and if it eventually does, it'll leave huge scars in my face. Everyone thought I was going be tall, around 6 feet (183 centimeters) but I'm only 5'6 (168 centimeters) and I won't grow anymore. I've been rejected by every single girl I've asked out has rejected me, and in my lifetime I will never ask a girl out, no matter, I don't want to get rejected once again. Plus I'm not a modern guy, I don't go to parties, I don't drink, I don't talk a lot, and even when I'd like to, I don't know how to dance. I get good degrees in college, I respect everyone, I'm not cocky, etc. I remember once in my teen years I committed a horrible sin, then I ask God for forgiveness countless times, but I think this is the punishment he is giving me for such terrible sin. A Christian girl wants in a man God's best, inside and outside, me on the other hand, I'm closer to be God's worst than God's best. That's the way I feel. I've considered suicide, anyway nobody would miss me, and I think it would be better for my parents, they could save more money. The only thing I haven't committed suicide is because it's a sin.

That's the way I feel

You don't need to respond, I just needed to tell that to someone.

Thank you.


Edit: when I was in high school, a female classmate told me this “your three older brothers are hot, on the other hand you're quite ugly" I remember that every time I look myself in the mirror.

Hello, don't commit suicide. You don't know me but I care about you and I would miss you. I attempted suicide myself the other day. I was locked up for weeks in a mental hospital. I lost my job and I currently am alone with a 4 month old baby as I write this. My ex bf doesn't love me and it breaks my heart, but I read this and I wanted to tell you that you aren't alone in how you feel. I am struggling rn with depression, but you don't need to commit suicide because you arent ugly. God made you special and there is no one like you. Bless you brother in Christ.