I would like to see how many other children with high Functioning Autism struggle controlling their agression. I believe our son gets frustrated easily and reacts and hits out. We have tried many things to help him to learn that this is not appropriae but have not been real successful. Any ideas? What has worked for you?
-
The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.
If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.
If you have spiritual issues related to a mental health and recovery issue, please use the Recovery Related Spiritual Advice forum. This forum is designed to be like Christian Advice, only for recovery type of issues. Recovery being like a family in many ways, allows us to support one another together. May you be blessed today and each day.
Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist
-
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
Aggresion
- Thread starter aspie2x
- Start date
- Status
Our son is 3 1/2 years old and loves to play rough. When he was younger, we started "time out" sitting in a chair, and explained to him that we do not hit, and then we would give him an alternative like "mommy help please." We would have to do remind him and work on this over and over but it seems to have helped now. But I also know that he craves rough play so we let him and his cousins wrestle outside and I (daddy) love to throw him around and let him tackle me too. Its a blast listening to him laugh and grunt! Then he seems really content to just sit and play cars or watch winnie the pooh before going to bed!
I hope this helps you.
I hope this helps you.
Upvote
0
There is no controlling an autistic. He knows he is going to be bullied all his life. I don't know how to put it into words but he knows he is different and he knows his life is going to be very painful. It's true and there is no making it not true. This world is extremely hostile to anyone who is different. I have been hurt very badly by people for a very long time. It's hard knowing that. He is afraid and he has every reason to be afraid. He can't blend in, he can't hide from it, and it is very upsetting to know that other people hate you and you can't do anything about it. I took it. Didn't fight it. I would like to shake his hand. He will be beaten down for his whole life for something he can't help.
Upvote
0
itsgood
Active Member
I have Asperger's syndrome and I was bullied a lot and I didn't react like I was told but now I regret it I wished I had killed those people and now I am on Largactil and Valpro and I have become a vegetable I sleep 14 hours per day that is the only way to control my hate I have no hope of gett ing a job or a girlfriend
Upvote
0
((((((((((((((itsgood)))))))))))))))))
I'm here and I hear you and I care. I still get chewed up and spit out everyday but killing yourself only makes them right. I am sick of people telling me that life is not hostile to autistics when it is nothing but hostile. Normies don't live in a world that hates them, we do.
It's really hard to find other autistics because we are all hiding under rocks and have no desire to volunteer for another social beating.
You know what is really aggravating is the myth that it is good to drug and restrain autistics. Even normal people who don't abuse normal people are told and supported in abusing extremely sensitive autistics with medication and restraints.
Drugs, even over the counter medications, can have profound effects on autistics wired differently. A lot of medications would be taken off of the market if it had the same effects on normal children. Needless to add, people would be arrested for restraining a normal child the same way they do autistics with a full blessing.
That's what killed Marilyn Monroe who was an autistic. Even though the prescribed dosage was "normal" for normal person which she was not. Her overly sensitive system began to shut down like yours is doing right now, so the doctors not knowing anything about autism switched her psychiatric medication, setting off a bad reaction in a weakened state.
Autistics and parents of autistics should know how dangerous it is to give medication to an autistic. Any kind of medication can overload an autistic, mirroring overdose and it is and can be fatal. That's another thing those teachers do are modern drug pushers.
I'm here and I hear you and I care. I still get chewed up and spit out everyday but killing yourself only makes them right. I am sick of people telling me that life is not hostile to autistics when it is nothing but hostile. Normies don't live in a world that hates them, we do.
It's really hard to find other autistics because we are all hiding under rocks and have no desire to volunteer for another social beating.
You know what is really aggravating is the myth that it is good to drug and restrain autistics. Even normal people who don't abuse normal people are told and supported in abusing extremely sensitive autistics with medication and restraints.
Drugs, even over the counter medications, can have profound effects on autistics wired differently. A lot of medications would be taken off of the market if it had the same effects on normal children. Needless to add, people would be arrested for restraining a normal child the same way they do autistics with a full blessing.
That's what killed Marilyn Monroe who was an autistic. Even though the prescribed dosage was "normal" for normal person which she was not. Her overly sensitive system began to shut down like yours is doing right now, so the doctors not knowing anything about autism switched her psychiatric medication, setting off a bad reaction in a weakened state.
Autistics and parents of autistics should know how dangerous it is to give medication to an autistic. Any kind of medication can overload an autistic, mirroring overdose and it is and can be fatal. That's another thing those teachers do are modern drug pushers.
Upvote
0
The school started something with my son.....they make the rules known, then when the child breaks a rule the teacher/parent simply says "You broke a rule. Time out". THe child then sit in a chair away from everyone else one minute for each year they are old. The don't match the energy level and they don't explain what the child did wrong unless the child asks. They reward the postive behaviors with lots of praise and sometimes treats. They focus their energy on the wanted behaviors and not the unwanted behaviors.
When my son was 3 and 4, I couldn't take him anywhere without him running, being mean to his sisters, clearing the shelves to the stores, climbing everything in site, and ect. He use to have meltdowns when I would strap him into a cart because he was out of control. Using the method above, my son has gradually become a very enjoyable child to be around. Not perfect....we still have times when he tries to get his own way and creates a scene, but on the most part (80 to 90 percent of the time) he does what he is asked and is enjoyable to take places. Praising the good things is so very important for this technique to work, but it does work.
When my son was 3 and 4, I couldn't take him anywhere without him running, being mean to his sisters, clearing the shelves to the stores, climbing everything in site, and ect. He use to have meltdowns when I would strap him into a cart because he was out of control. Using the method above, my son has gradually become a very enjoyable child to be around. Not perfect....we still have times when he tries to get his own way and creates a scene, but on the most part (80 to 90 percent of the time) he does what he is asked and is enjoyable to take places. Praising the good things is so very important for this technique to work, but it does work.
Upvote
0
Kids look for what adults react to. The more reaction the more the child will do it. No reaction and the child gradually stops. I also encourage my children to say they are sorry when they are in the wrong. There for a while my son could only sign that he was sorry, but now he uses now that he is able to do so.
Upvote
0
I want to add that sugar, caffeine, wheat, carbohydrates, preservatives, food dyes, can have an adverse effects on super sensitive autistics in addition to medications which may cause aggressive side effects.
I want to repeat that medication even over the counter medication can have profound reverse, or hightened effect as well as terrible side effects. It is dangerous to give autistics medication. Advil will keep me up for about 3 days because of the small amount of caffeine in it. I have been hospitalized for taking benadryl for a bad sinus cold. The reactions can be that bad.
I want to repeat that medication even over the counter medication can have profound reverse, or hightened effect as well as terrible side effects. It is dangerous to give autistics medication. Advil will keep me up for about 3 days because of the small amount of caffeine in it. I have been hospitalized for taking benadryl for a bad sinus cold. The reactions can be that bad.
Upvote
0
uniquetadpole
I have no problems, just challenges!
I have AS. And as far as my feelings go...well...I can't really tell ya. Words for my feelings are foreign or something. I mean I know I have them, and I can even distinguish between my feelings, good or bad...how intense...even have some coping mechanisms too. But as far as words for my feelings...I find them to be like butterflies on a warm summer day...flitting around...forever elusive.
My feelings are like a pot of water. Have you ever watched a pot of water boil? I mean really watched it. After applying heat for a while, you notice tiny bubbles form at the bottom of the pot. Then as the heat is turned up the bubbles get larger and larger and eventually rise to the surface....but then all of a sudden there is an explosion of bubbles overflowing the pot. My feelings are those bubbles...indistinquishable.
I have been in situations where I simply just loose control...I seem to get frustrated very easily. Usually I can feel it reach a certain point and over time I have learned to walk away. I don't necessarily gove up...more like take a break...kind of like taking the boiling pot off of the heat...the bubbles slow down and leave it off long enough they stop. Then I can return to what frustrated me and try again...usually the second time works better...because I have also have time to process things (I am slow at processing things sometimes). It has taken me a very long time on my own to figure out the point at which I need to walk away. ANd what has driven me to learn this point is my hear of losing control...remember that pot of water that come to a rapid boild all of a sudden...well that mass of bubbling chaotic water is me losing control. It scares me. I have hurt a few people when I have gotten to this point. Almost put two different people in the hospital and broken my own hand from punching a car window once. I work really really hard to not get to that point. But it still happens sometimes.
Don't know if this helps...but I hope it gives you a little insight.
Tad
My feelings are like a pot of water. Have you ever watched a pot of water boil? I mean really watched it. After applying heat for a while, you notice tiny bubbles form at the bottom of the pot. Then as the heat is turned up the bubbles get larger and larger and eventually rise to the surface....but then all of a sudden there is an explosion of bubbles overflowing the pot. My feelings are those bubbles...indistinquishable.
I have been in situations where I simply just loose control...I seem to get frustrated very easily. Usually I can feel it reach a certain point and over time I have learned to walk away. I don't necessarily gove up...more like take a break...kind of like taking the boiling pot off of the heat...the bubbles slow down and leave it off long enough they stop. Then I can return to what frustrated me and try again...usually the second time works better...because I have also have time to process things (I am slow at processing things sometimes). It has taken me a very long time on my own to figure out the point at which I need to walk away. ANd what has driven me to learn this point is my hear of losing control...remember that pot of water that come to a rapid boild all of a sudden...well that mass of bubbling chaotic water is me losing control. It scares me. I have hurt a few people when I have gotten to this point. Almost put two different people in the hospital and broken my own hand from punching a car window once. I work really really hard to not get to that point. But it still happens sometimes.
Don't know if this helps...but I hope it gives you a little insight.
Tad
Upvote
0
Reading all these has been both useful and scary. I can understand that the owrld is a frightening and threatning plaace for an autistic person particularly a child. I can see the things that freak him out and the situations that are difficult. I do my best to equip him for those difficulties. I dont want to accept that he cant control hittting out. I would rather he came and told an adult what was bothering him or atleast that he felt out of sorts, but not to hit. He is on respiradol and after reading what you have said about medication it makes me want to take him off even more but my husband thinks he needs it. I have seen him react to many other medications, and even antibiotics.
Tell me what helped you understand that you couldnt lash out? How old where you? He is only 10, is he too young to really understand or be able to control it.
I want to say a big thankyou to you all for sharing with me. I find it a great priveledge to havee your personal knowledge and expereince to learn from instead of books that are written by so called " experts"
Tell me what helped you understand that you couldnt lash out? How old where you? He is only 10, is he too young to really understand or be able to control it.
I want to say a big thankyou to you all for sharing with me. I find it a great priveledge to havee your personal knowledge and expereince to learn from instead of books that are written by so called " experts"
Upvote
0
uniquetadpole
I have no problems, just challenges!
well I hope you don't mind me being brutally honest but you need to accept that he cannot control the lashing out...if he is anything like me (and I have been told I am a very high functioning case) he doesn't even know why...doesn't know what he is feeling except ready to explode and he is trying to control it and then...BAM...before he knows it his fist is in the other kids eye...then he gets mad at himself for doing it to begin with because he knows it is wrong and he will be in trouble...I still can't control myself when I get to this point. For me, what happens is that my brain goes and goes and goes and all of a sudden it can't take anymore and it shuts down. I need deep pressure (and most autistics tend to need deep pressure) as a form of relaxing and even "jump starting" my brain. So hitting is a form of deep pressure...a form of relaxation of the muscles really. Many people I talk to that are on the "normie spectrum" so to speak...talk to me about relaxing and stop thinking for a few minutes...well I have never experienced this...except in these situations...and that is the most scary thing on earth to all of a sudden not be able to process even one thought...and it takes all of your energy just to make that one puch and thenoh my God the thoughts begin racing again...but this time horrible thoughts...cause by then the realization of what just happened begins to process...and then your brain goes haywaire all over again...it has been some of the scariest times in my life...and some of those times have been rather recent...as of this summer that is. But what I try to do is not get to that point. And I can't tell you I am out of sorts most of the time (because I don't know until after the fact) so I would not realistically expect him to. But what you can do is learn the things that cause him to and help him learn how to manage what to do before it gets to that point...and my guess is that it will be years before he gets adequate at it...and may never get adequate. I am just trying to be both hopeful and realistic with your expectations. Every person is different. The little things that might help would really depend on his sensory needs and his frustrations levels and what aggravate his frustrations. And guess what...most autistics don't see these things on their own...I have been told that I was gifted in problem solving and a few other areas...and that has been what has masked my difficulties all these years...so the "average" autistic is going to need help with that part of it. You are probably going to need to solve the puzzle yourself then teach him ways to cope rather than telling him not to do something he really can't control. But of course us autistics are also out of the box thinkers...what you also need to do is help him simply become aware...and he will find ways on his own... it will just take him longer than most kids. I can help you with some ideas with more details as to what sets him off...look for patterns. Look for triggers. Look for smaller behavior changes in him. Are they happeneing in the same place?...are they happening at the same time? Are they happening only after certain foods are eaten? Are they happening only at home or only at school?
I also want to forewarn you that the teenage years are some of the most difficult times because of those aggressive hormonal fluctations...so you are definitely doing the right things to try and discover creative solutions now.
What helped me understand the consequences of my lashing out was the desire to not hurt anyone being my motivation. And trust me, when you are in the midst of confusion and pain...it is not easy and sometimes not even possible to control.
as far as the meds go...that will be painstaking trial and error...and nothing else will work...but the plus side to that is that there are so many different things you can try that if one thing doesn't work simply keep going until you find something that does. The other part of that is if you haven't already to find an Occupational Therapist....sometimes simply working with the sensory issues can improve things to a point of not needing meds. You just never know until you try. My OT prescriped me my weighted blanket...and i did the most imporvement with that than any of my meds. Not just with the anxiety and overstimulation issues but it allowed me to sleep through the night for the first time in prob 20 years. Which is so important to people with autism because it takes ten times more energy to get through the day than someone who doesn't show autistic traits, and therefore needs that extra sleep in order to cope with daily living skills that most people take for granted.
I have tons more to share but I am getting tired so for now...I think I gave you enough to chew on anyway...I do hope this helps and please don't get discouraged...because he will make it...he does have you and you are doing fine by him...you are here looking for answers and that is the best thing a parent can do for their child. So don't give up and you can keep those questions coming...I love to share...never been able to before this past summer.
hugs,
Tad
I also want to forewarn you that the teenage years are some of the most difficult times because of those aggressive hormonal fluctations...so you are definitely doing the right things to try and discover creative solutions now.
What helped me understand the consequences of my lashing out was the desire to not hurt anyone being my motivation. And trust me, when you are in the midst of confusion and pain...it is not easy and sometimes not even possible to control.
as far as the meds go...that will be painstaking trial and error...and nothing else will work...but the plus side to that is that there are so many different things you can try that if one thing doesn't work simply keep going until you find something that does. The other part of that is if you haven't already to find an Occupational Therapist....sometimes simply working with the sensory issues can improve things to a point of not needing meds. You just never know until you try. My OT prescriped me my weighted blanket...and i did the most imporvement with that than any of my meds. Not just with the anxiety and overstimulation issues but it allowed me to sleep through the night for the first time in prob 20 years. Which is so important to people with autism because it takes ten times more energy to get through the day than someone who doesn't show autistic traits, and therefore needs that extra sleep in order to cope with daily living skills that most people take for granted.
I have tons more to share but I am getting tired so for now...I think I gave you enough to chew on anyway...I do hope this helps and please don't get discouraged...because he will make it...he does have you and you are doing fine by him...you are here looking for answers and that is the best thing a parent can do for their child. So don't give up and you can keep those questions coming...I love to share...never been able to before this past summer.
hugs,
Tad
Upvote
0
Thankyou all for your responses. My son has been on 2 different meds over the past year, since reading peoples thoughts and own experiences with mediaction and agression, I consulted my doctor and in the past week we have taken our son off ritalin. Over the past week, we ahve seen him became more peaceful and loving. He even has been thoughtful of others feelings aplogising to his sister and hugging her without being told too. We are excited about this. He is a little louder without the Ritalin and weve needed to remind him to have an "inside voice" and "settle" but he is much nicer.
The doctor suggested we also try without the respiredal, by reducing slowly over the next 2 weeks so I will keep you posted.
We know he needed medication at the beggining of this year as he was extremly anxious and depressed but his schooling has settled and he is more happier than I have seen him in a while.
I thank God for this forum as I would not have tried to take him off as I thought neither, "he" or "we" would cope. After reading the effects of medication on many other Autistic people it made me realise that though at times it is necessary it also could have adverse affects.
Upvote
0
as far as the meds go...that will be painstaking trial and error...and nothing else will work...but the plus side to that is that there are so many different things you can try that if one thing doesn't work simply keep going until you find something that does. The other part of that is if you haven't already to find an Occupational Therapist....sometimes simply working with the sensory issues can improve things to a point of not needing meds. You just never know until you try. My OT prescriped me my weighted blanket...and i did the most imporvement with that than any of my meds. Not just with the anxiety and overstimulation issues but it allowed me to sleep through the night for the first time in prob 20 years. Which is so important to people with autism because it takes ten times more energy to get through the day than someone who doesn't show autistic traits, and therefore needs that extra sleep in order to cope with daily living skills that most people take for granted.
Tad[/QUOTE]
I went to an Ot 3 weeks ago finnaly and what they suggested was body brushing folowed by joint compresion. We did for 2 weeks 3 times a day and my son respoonded by saying it was more powerful than the tablets, they made him more relaxed.We are trying to get into the habit of doing it more often as it tends to only last for about 2-3 hours but it seems to make a big difference according to my son, and observing his behaviour.
I thankyou for your candid response. And reading peoples honest expreinces has helped me to understand my son better. Keep teaching us, its the best way for us parents to learn. We appreciate it.
Tad[/QUOTE]
I went to an Ot 3 weeks ago finnaly and what they suggested was body brushing folowed by joint compresion. We did for 2 weeks 3 times a day and my son respoonded by saying it was more powerful than the tablets, they made him more relaxed.We are trying to get into the habit of doing it more often as it tends to only last for about 2-3 hours but it seems to make a big difference according to my son, and observing his behaviour.
I thankyou for your candid response. And reading peoples honest expreinces has helped me to understand my son better. Keep teaching us, its the best way for us parents to learn. We appreciate it.
Upvote
0
uniquetadpole
I have no problems, just challenges!
I did the brushing for a while...but when you have ADD on top of the AS it is hard to remember on your own...but my weighted blanket has made it so I don't need to do much of the brushing.
Tad
Tad
Upvote
0
Just a quick update. My son has now been of the ritalin for 3 weeks now and has reduced the respiradol to 1/2mg. He is a much happier boy and is not as easily frustrated. However he is louder than before. He is also sleeping better with only only 1/2 a tablet which I find strange as it does make people drowsy but he has actually slept in. One day until 11:30 am. HE has NEVER EVER done that before. The only bad thing I see is he is slightly more slurred in speech and is stuttering more. So far .....so good.....
Upvote
0
- Status
Similar threads
