Age

[TheCheeta]

I am currently in a WONDERFUL dating relationship that has a significant age difference. I am 34, she is 23. The neat thing is our reaction to that. "Oh! We have a age difference?? Really?? Huh!" while other might react like, "Whoa... 11/12 years, eh? Hmm. Um... interesting."

We have been dating 1.5 years, and are about to delve into some deep relational issues relating to pre-engagement and such (life goals, communication styles, and other issues relating to long-term relational issues). It should be interesting. We are amazingly compatible. It works well for us... I don't act 34 (more like stuck on 26) and she doesn't act 23 (more like stuck on 26). So it work well.

We are not blind to the issues surrounding the age difference, however, and that is the real trick. If there IS an age difference like ours, and the couple is blind to it or ignores it, that will certainly lead to trouble down the line. Issues that must be talked through include:

* Life goals
* Stages of life
* Leadership
* Personal Space
* Personal Development (especially for the younger half of the couple)
* Sexual Compatibility
* Career goals and retirement plans
* Kids

And a whole bunch more. These must be talked about in an honest, honoring way, and a way that invites God's divine input. Challenging, but rewarding.

BTW... my first post. Hey all!

 

[willcoach]

Cheeta, thats cool

 

[canehdianhotstuff]

i know a couple that are friends of mine...now married he is 25 she is 20 and they dated when she was 16 and he was 21, and now they have a baby boy hehe...

 

[Briseis]

i know a couple that are friends of mine...now married he is 25 she is 20 and they dated when she was 16 and he was 21, and now they have a baby boy hehe...

Not that I am judging. That is fine if it worked, but normally I would think that 16 and 21 was not good. 20 and 25 is fine though.

 

[Inperfected]

Personally i don't have an "age gap" decision... It's really dependant on the couples ages.

I do disagree with major age gaps of 10-20 years... but as you start to age (yes well over 30 type of aging) even this sort of age gap becomes less... Anything less than 5 years though once you are 20 or older usually seems to go fine.

I don't really care what kind of age gap i'd be fine with now, as i am not looking.. My fiance is around half a year older, and i wouldn't class that as a problem;