age question

[following path]

What is an acceptable age difference between two people who are dating? I have asked friends of all ages and none have a solid answer.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

I like to think of it in percentages. Like, the difference between 15 and 20 is like 30%, but that same 5 year span is only 16% when you're 30 and 35.

Me, at 27, I went on a date with a 19 year old a few weeks back. She was great, had a great time, I was a little uneasy about it, and it was in the back of my mind (the eight year difference) but it was a baseball game, not a relationship.

 

[gizmo03]

I don't think age matters, my grandparents were 16years apart, my parents are 11 years apart.. If you care about someone and want to be with them age shouldn't be a factor, in my opinion that is

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

Acceptable to whom? I'm not going to be or not be in a relationship with an age difference based on what others think.

Unless, of course I think there is such a thing as an unhealth age difference where one person is 19 and the other person is 55 or something crazy like that. I think that has deeper issues of someone looking for a mommy/daddy figure or something . . . anyhoo, what are the age differences you're talking about?

 

[Echoes Peak]

Yeah..I don't think you will find a solid answer..because people are different. I agree with the sentiment, however, that there are SOME age differences that are, or at least can be unhealthy. If you're 15 and the other person is 55....that's a problem, at the very least. But beyond that, who knows.

 

[following path]

We have the same values and interests. I am 23 and he is 46. That seems like a huge difference to me. But I have known him for about a year and we always have a great time together. But if it is morally wrong, I won't see him anymore.

 

[following path]

Thanks Echoes Peak for including the scripture.

 

[OhhJim]

As a 47-year-old man, I would disapprove. Unless it were me. Then I would approve.

If you're both over 21, you're considered to be adults, with all the rights and privileges of an adult. The Bible doesn't mention it, as far as I know. In fact, I'm under the impression it was not uncommon in those times. It's not like it's a sin to marry for reasons other than mutual attraction, after all.

 

[invisiblebabe]

All depends on the people. This is my personal opinion, and you can take it or leave it, but here ya go: Anyone under 16 should not be dating at all. Anyone from 16 to 19 should not go any more than three years older. Anyone 20 + can go as much older as he or she likes, provided the person wouldn't pass for a parent (15-17 years would likely be an absolute limit)

I would not go any older than 8 years, ever, and 2 to 4 years older would be my ideal. No more than a year younger, either, and even that is pushing it for me.

I want a husband who can relate to me, and I feel that a man that much older than I would not be able to understand me in many ways, since we did not grow up within the same time frame. For some I imagine it would be different, but I am far enough from the norm as it is, and throwing a huge age difference in there would only complicate things further. As for dating younger guys.... it just feels weird.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

FP, that squeaking sound MIGHT just be the cannon being turned so the barrel is pointing back at me, but there's some viewpoints on age differences expressed in this thread. But you're a girl, so no, you can't post in this one...

and yes, if the girl is a minor, me and Dave will show up at the dude's house with a baseball bat (J/K)

http://www.christianforums.com/t911451

 

[Living4Him03]

I think it depends on a lot of factors...maturity, how compatible you are, whether the age difference bothers either of you, where you are in your lives, and of course, God's will!

 

[stonetoflesh]

Age really takes a back seat to maturity for me; having a right relationship with God and some direction in life is way more important. However.... I don't think I would feel comfortable dating anyone 9-10 years older/younger than me-- it just becomes a bit more difficult to relate, methinks.

 

[throwingbones]

Ok, here's the formula...

"half your age" + 7 = "the youngest you are allowed to date"

Only exception is, if the number you end up with is under 18.

 

[boilerblues]

The way I look at it is a matter of being unequally yoked. We commonly use that in the area of believers and unbelievers dating, but I think it also applies inside the community of believers. You don't yoke together a calf and a full grown ox. They are of the same species, but they are not equally able to pull the load. They will not be effective in their service. So I take this to apply to a mature Christian dating an immature Christian (in this case at least wait for the immature Christian to mature in their faith before starting a relationship) or an age difference (really more of a life stage difference). I don't think you can put a hard number on the age, but I think (note my opinion) that both people need to be in the same life stage. Otherwise they are going to have a hard time working together in service to the Lord and will be challenged to understand each other.

Note that the maturity is something that will hopefully change and life stages change, so what may not be a good idea now could turn out ok later. But I think it wise to wait for that to change before starting a relationship rather than start a relationship and hope things will change (because sometimes they don't and the weaker person can hold the stronger person back in their growth).

 

[seangoh]

Ok, here's the formula...

"half your age" + 7 = "the youngest you are allowed to date"

Only exception is, if the number you end up with is under 18.

oh that's cool...a formula! hahaha..it sounds reasonable...guess i'll use it..lol

 

[Thithy]

I don't think you can say that there is a set age limit that is still moral. I don't think age is moral in a relationship. The only time it can be immoral is when someone is being taken advantage of in it.

I also think it has something to do with a persons maturity. You can have a very mature 20 year old and a very immature 40 year old. and then it could work out. I think that if you get along with someone, and love them, that age shouldn't be an issue. It just has to do with compatability. Also with life experience. Someone who is 40 will have much more life experience than a 20 year old, therefore they might not be attracted to someone that young.

anyways, I think that is enough rambling for now.

 

[bubblegirl23]

For me, I date men up to 12 years older. I don't know if God has a limit, but as long as follow a celibate dating life I don't see a problem.

 

[waterbear]

I think this is a matter of personal choice. I'm willing to date 4 yrs younger than me (as I get older, probably up to 10 yrs younger [me = 28+]- if still applicable) and up to 2 yrs older than me. Because of what I look for in potential spouses, it's rare for me to find someone even my age, much less older, I'd be interested in dating... and too young (>10 yrs) would I think be too difficult to relate to.

 

[ChrisB803]

Personally I think it's a matter of individual concern. I know my sister got interested in an older friend of mine for a while, and it made me uncomfortable... I think it was more an issue of the fact that he'd seen and done so much more in his life than she had, so in this instance it was more than just the age gap. In my case, I'm 25, but my life experiences aren't what a lot of 25 year old's are. Not that I'm sheltered, I just haven't done a lot of things yet. So in my case dating someone who was 18-20 would probably be acceptable because our level of life experiences are likely to be more similar. I would have to approach that kind of a situation on a case by case basis though.

May I turn this question slightly and ask the guys and girls what their opinions are in regards to whether they feel that there's a different standard for a guy dating a younger girl as opposed to a girl dating a younger guy?

 

[Tuffguy]

If you have to ask don't do it.