Age in Relationships

[Eve_Sundancer]

God doesn't "allow" things like this to happen, he's not some sort of grand manipulator of the world we see. He didn't specifically wake up one day and say, "Hey, I think I'm going to let 9/11 happen. It'll do some good, maybe, eventually, I guess."

 

[xtxArchxAngelxtx]

So are you saying that there are things out of Gods control? I hope not. And yes, it does cause a lot of good. I know of stories from people that accepted Christ soon after cause they realized how quickly thier life could end. Through it, they found faith.

 

[Eve_Sundancer]

Not out of his control per se... I see things as more "set into motion" than "controlled". The US knew of a threat, and did nothing about it. Perhaps the tragedy may have been averted, who knows what purpose it truly served? I don't believe it should have happened, I think there are many other ways a person could find faith that don't involve the death of many innocents.

 

[jesusfreak3786]

He cheated on you, threatened to kill you more than once, and strangled you repeatedly...and you needed a book to tell you you could leave him? Are you serious?

Lol you are a riot!

Let me ask this...if he had done all that, but not cheated on you, would you still be with him? The bible says the only grounds for divorce is adultery...so if he hadn't committed adultery, would you still be with him?

I don't know.

 

[jesusfreak3786]

When in a relationship like that, it's amazing the things you will say to rationalize abusive behavior. The only way out is to realize your own self-worth, and one other thing: That's not love. He hurts you, and says he loves you? He is a filthy liar. No one deserves that, no one at all.

I tried something risky, I would tell every one and anyone, that he strangels me in front of him, and when he would give me a sharp look I would say" If you are ashamed of somthing you should think about changing it." The funny thing is, he agreed with me!!!!! Even when we were alone!!!! Amazing isn't it?

 

[BubblesRelena]

Well, I don't think that age in a relationship should matter....IF YOU'RE BOTH OVER THE AGE OF 18! But....ummm...hon, your a minor and he's an adult. If anything ever happens that's stagatory rape, even if you are willing. And if your father finds out and/or freaks out he can get your boyfriend arrested...even if you were willing. I'm just saying, it's risky to play with the law. You may not be doing anything now, or not even plan on it. But you never know what might happen. Idk, you might just want to think on that.

~BubblesRelena

 

[jesusfreak3786]

but did you still want to? Thats my point. You made it sound like you did. I really do not care at this point, nor do I think God cares. This is mute point.

Agian I will say, the last thing I wanted to do was anything like that.

 

[jesusfreak3786]

Is this Love...?

I have a much better way of showing my affection to my fiance.

That's good keep it up!! Yes I still love my ex but as he is I won't even consider reconsiling.

 

[jesusfreak3786]

So I am just curious...

Even though the bible says that she is to win her husband over by her love and gentileness, she is still suppossed to leave/divorce him, even though love unconditional? Is she saying that God cannot fix this problem, she will just leave/divorce?

It's gotta be a tough choice, but yeah, I still don't believe to be a reason for divoce. There are many other ways for her to seek help.

I can see that you are very conservitist in nature of your Christianity, I'm just wondering, does that mean that you discount what jesus said about marriage and divorce? I understand why you feel the way you feel, because God would never divorce us, even if we are unfaithful, and if you have the streangth to do what you believe thumbs up man. But Jesus allowed divorce on the grounds of unfaithfulness, even if this only counted cheating, my ex-husband did that. I think Jesus allowed that because he knows how much the human spirit can take. When the person I love as my lifetime companion, showed total hateful, uncareing feelings towards me it, made my heart cry tears of blood, It is the most sorrowful feeling I have ever felt in my life, it felt like the man I married died. No exageration. I felt this for two years, being hated by the one I love, and I was in the deepest depresion I can imagene. I couldn't take that for long, I was raiseing our kids while he worked , and I was so distracted by trying to please him, that my kids were starting to get a fustration from me, and him, that they don't deserve. The same fustration I received as a child. I grew up thinking I was worthless, my kids may have too. God knows how much a person can take. I praise him for that, and everything, including my marriage. You just wait untill you feel that extended severe pain(I hope to God you don't) if you do you will understand.

 

[jesusfreak3786]

Death is the only way to break off a marriage. My whole church believes this, I do, and many other people I know do. It obviously conflicts with your beleifs, but thats your opinion and I have mine. I can understand why you beleive this and by no means am I going to say anything about it being wrong. But to answer your question, it is as you say. God is not an abuser approver, correct, but more so, he is not a divorce approver.
I am glad God does not "divorce" us for all of our sins against him.

I hope that God didn't want me to allow my self to be murdered, after already having a God given reason to leave him. Where would the kids go? family? Dreadful! My brother and law literaly tortures his son, hmmm not a good chioce(by the way I tryed to get him out of that situtation, but it;s not possable.) My sister and law, is pushing her daughter to sickness, to be the perfect model(she's only 5 now) my other brother and law raped my ex-husband for 2 years of his childhood, yep definitly not a good choice, His parents raised this lovely variaty of screwed up poeple, no not a good choice either I guess. And my family in a nutshell is so poor they can't take care of themselves(literaly)let alone riasing two children. My kids are my mission in life I am married to them before my husband.

 

[jesusfreak3786]

It's also hard for me to beleive that a God of love and mercy would also allow 9/11 to happen but He did allow it.

It is also hard for me to believe God would allow satan to do all he did to job, even even Jesus, His son, to be tortured like he did. God himself was abused, and still loved us, and was the most undeserving.

He is God, I cannot compare myself to Him, I am just a human.

 

[jesusfreak3786]

She left her husband because of a condition. A severe condition, but still a condition. DO I blame her for leaving? Absolutly not simply because I have sisters that have been abused by husbands in the past, granted they were/still are unsaved and made very stupid decisions (not saying jesusfreak did). I would never blame a wife for leaving a husband like this, but I would encourage her to persevere.

Yes, it takes courage to leave, but it takes even more courage and faith that through her, God would work miricles in her husbands life, and lead him to salvation, which is uncomparable to anything in this world, even being abused. A thousand of tortured, and murdered christian lives is worth the salvation of one lost sinner.

I persevered for two years, and at one point he believed, but soon recanted, and started to hate me fervently. I forgave him every time he hit me, but the last day he pinned me against the wall by my throat and cut off the air so long that I couldn't see even though my eyes were open, and as he did this he hissed in my face "I should just snap your neck right now"(keep in mind, I was about 95 pounds, and he was 200 pounds, he could have done it quikly) Then he wouldn't let me out of the apartment, and was tring to get the kids out to leave to who knows where with them. So I somehow made it out of the apartment, and called 911 on my cell phone. That was the last day, I soon found out that he had been cheating on me, and realized that I was free, at last.

 

[Archivist]

Death is the only way to break off a marriage. My whole church believes this, I do, and many other people I know do. It obviously conflicts with your beleifs, but thats your opinion and I have mine. I can understand why you beleive this and by no means am I going to say anything about it being wrong. But to answer your question, it is as you say. God is not an abuser approver, correct, but more so, he is not a divorce approver.
I am glad God does not "divorce" us for all of our sins against him.

You and your church are, of course, entitled to your beliefs. I would note that scripture specifically disagrees with your statement that "death is the only way to break off marriage."

 

[k]

I persevered for two years, and at one point he believed, but soon recanted, and started to hate me fervently. I forgave him every time he hit me, but the last day he pinned me against the wall by my throat and cut off the air so long that I couldn't see even though my eyes were open, and as he did this he hissed in my face "I should just snap your neck right now"(keep in mind, I was about 95 pounds, and he was 200 pounds, he could have done it quikly) Then he wouldn't let me out of the apartment, and was tring to get the kids out to leave to who knows where with them. So I somehow made it out of the apartment, and called 911 on my cell phone. That was the last day, I soon found out that he had been cheating on me, and realized that I was free, at last.

It is horrible what you and your children had to experience. Thank goodness God protected your lives!! There is NO WAY anyone can justify that somone should stay in a marriage like that. Any woman who is hit even ONCE is being hit too often. It is repulsive that any Christian would tell another to stay married to an abuser.

 

[Electric Sceptic]

It is horrible what you and your children had to experience. Thank goodness God protected your lives!! There is NO WAY anyone can justify that somone should stay in a marriage like that. Any woman who is hit even ONCE is being hit too often. It is repulsive that any Christian would tell another to stay married to an abuser.

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but didn't Jesus say that the only reason for divorce was adultery?

 

[k]

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but didn't Jesus say that the only reason for divorce was adultery?

A lot of people think that, and one of the reasons is patriarchal training. There are several versions of the Bible, so some translations may be different. I have a NIV version and Mt. 5:32 says "marital unfaithfulness." This is not exclusive to adultery.

IMO, marital unfaithfulness would include abuse, in any form.

 

[Electric Sceptic]

A lot of people think that, and one of the reasons is patriarchal training. There are several versions of the Bible, so some translations may be different. I have a NIV version and Mt. 5:32 says "marital unfaithfulness." This is not exclusive to adultery.

IMO, marital unfaithfulness would include abuse, in any form.

You have a very strange definition of "marital unfaithfulness". I would be interested in seeing Strong's on the actual word used...I've never heard anyone suggest it refers to anything other than adultery before.

 

[xtxArchxAngelxtx]

He is God, I cannot compare myself to Him, I am just a human.

Granted, so was Jesus. Jesus is the person we are supossed to be more like.

 

[xtxArchxAngelxtx]

You and your church are, of course, entitled to your beliefs. I would note that scripture specifically disagrees with your statement that "death is the only way to break off marriage."

"till death, do you part"

A vow said by most couples to God.

 

[Eve_Sundancer]

IMO, marital unfaithfulness would include abuse, in any form.

I like that idea, I'd never thought of it that way before. I like the way you think!