Age in Relationships

[xtxArchxAngelxtx]

I said we couldn't so much as hold hands, in an attempt to make it clear that I refuse to cross that line. The last thing I wanted to do was anything like that, because that would mean that I sinned agianst God.

but did you still want to? Thats my point. You made it sound like you did. I really do not care at this point, nor do I think God cares. This is mute point.

 

[k]

I disagree with this ideology, but for the time being, I will just set this aside cause we are already starting to get off topic.

So what do you think Jesus meant when he said "Unfaithful?"

 

[xtxArchxAngelxtx]

So what do you think Jesus meant when he said "Unfaithful?"

Well for starters that is poor translation.

As i said earlier, I do not want to get off topic. I have a somewhat radical view in which most people disagree with me and by no means am I going to start a vain and seperate arguement about it.

 

[k]

Well for starters that is poor translation.

As i said earlier, I do not want to get off topic. I have a somewhat radical view in which most people disagree with me and by no means am I going to start a vain and seperate arguement about it.

I guess the people at Zondervan publishing (and many other publishers) have the translation wrong.

There is no need to "argue." Ideas may be exchanged, that is how we learn from each other.

 

[Electric Sceptic]

Love is honoring someones highest good.

I've no idea what this is even supposed to mean. I love my wife, her faults, her bad sides and all. I don't just honour her 'highest good' (whatever that is). I love her for herself. You want to put conditions on love. By definition, that's not unconditional love.

It has nothing to do with conditions. Now you can say, I love ones highest good conditionally or unconditionally.

Yes, so you say...and then you contradict yourself when you say love of two people is conditional on their relationship with god.

 

[xtxArchxAngelxtx]

I've no idea what this is even supposed to mean. I love my wife, her faults, her bad sides and all. I don't just honour her 'highest good' (whatever that is). I love her for herself. You want to put conditions on love. By definition, that's not unconditional love.

I've already addressed this same response from someone else in this thread. I am not going to repeat it.

Yes, so you say...and then you contradict yourself when you say love of two people is conditional on their relationship with god.

... It really does help to follow along with the whole thread. If you are still confused, respond later.

 

[Chrono Traveler]

I've already addressed this same response from someone else in this thread. I am not going to repeat it.

You did put conditions on love. I'm sorry, but a persons relationship with god shouldnt be the one fact that draws two people together. The psychical and emotional connections are much more important than anyhing else.

Now it's great to find someone exactly like you, and you most likely will if you look. There will still be a few differences and flaws. Loveing them with the flaws(or also even loving some of the "flaws" themselves) would be unconditional.

 

[Electric Sceptic]

I've already addressed this same response from someone else in this thread. I am not going to repeat it.

No, you haven't.

... It really does help to follow along with the whole thread. If you are still confused, respond later.

Sorry, stating this without any basis at all doesn't get you out of your contradiction.

 

[Eve_Sundancer]

Love is unconditional, love is timeless, and people fall in love all the time. It's a force, nothing you can stop, if for some reason you wished that. I fell in love with morningstar2651 the first day I met him, it was the first time I'd ever felt anything like it before. The thing was, before him I'd thought that I had known love... and it was no good. Knowing him taught me that I never knew it at all. In all honesty, it was almost frightening at first, the intensity of feeling... that soon changed Love is the most incredible thing in this world, and compatibility of both personality and faith contributes so much to the relationship. However, religion is only a part of compatibility, not all.

Jesusfreak3786, you were in an abusive relationship. I was in your shoes not long ago... it's not a pretty place to be. You say you love him... does he still physically or emotionally harm you in any way? Pain is never a part of love. We probably shouldn't get this thread completely off topic, so if you'd like to talk about this at all, PM me. I don't like to see people in a place that puts them in harm's way.

 

[morningstar2651]

I do still love my ex-husband.

He also strangeled me repeatedly, and threatened to kill me more than once

Is this Love...?

I have a much better way of showing my affection to my fiance.

If a man and a woman are mature spiritual christians, compatability is not very important at all.

Wow! Good luck with that marriage, you're going to need it. Does your girlfriend agree with you on this? You don't need love to get married?

Marriage is supossed to be an unbreakable covenant. You are correct you should still keep on loving him. However you controdict yourself and accuse yourself adultry since you also say you "fell in love with another man." Just because you were divorced by worldly standards does not mean you are divoreced by Gods standards. Not to mention this man was also married, but we will not get into that either.

Matthew
7:3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
7:4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
7:5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

 

[Electric Sceptic]

I'm beginning to wonder if you read my posts completly. I do still love my ex-husband, and if he wasn't filled with hate, I would probably become his wife agian, but he doesn't want to change. I already said that I love him, not that I loved him. And as far as falling in love with another man, that in itself isn't adultry, I have fallen in love with my daughters too, but that isn't adultry either. If I had wanted the man in question for myself, I'm sure I could have had him, in a sence, but I didn't, I wanted his wife to have him period. I couldn't stop myself from loving him, and I still can't, but what I could do was remove myself from that situation, and I did. If this sort of thing was not posable, why did Paul tell his listeners to flee in that situation? It happens, it's not your love thats a sin it's your desire, and action, in reaction to that love. You may study things like this from books but as far as I can tell you still have some life to live in this respect, and a lot to learn.

Also I am not bound to my husband according to God's word, because he cheated on me. He also strangeled me repeatedly, and threatened to kill me more than once, but thats besides the point, I only left because I had a scriptual basis for leaving.

He cheated on you, threatened to kill you more than once, and strangled you repeatedly...and you needed a book to tell you you could leave him? Are you serious?

Let me ask this...if he had done all that, but not cheated on you, would you still be with him? The bible says the only grounds for divorce is adultery...so if he hadn't committed adultery, would you still be with him?

 

[Eve_Sundancer]

When in a relationship like that, it's amazing the things you will say to rationalize abusive behavior. The only way out is to realize your own self-worth, and one other thing: That's not love. He hurts you, and says he loves you? He is a filthy liar. No one deserves that, no one at all.

 

[Electric Sceptic]

When in a relationship like that, it's amazing the things you will say to rationalize abusive behavior. The only way out is to realize your own self-worth, and one other thing: That's not love. He hurts you, and says he loves you? He is a filthy liar. No one deserves that, no one at all.

I have to agree with Eve here. A man who does that to a woman (or anyone who does it to anyone) does not love that person. No matter what they say, love is not something they are feeling.

I love my wife very, very much. One day I asked her "what would you do if I hit you?" She said "leave and not wait to pack a bag." I was extremely pleased, because it showed me that no matter how much she may love me, she is emotionally healthy enough not to need that sort of a relationship.

 

[Eve_Sundancer]

Your wife is a strong woman, Electric Sceptic. I'm glad you two are in a healthy relationship also, and that she will never have to say goodbye.

 

[Electric Sceptic]

Your wife is a strong woman, Electric Sceptic. I'm glad you two are in a healthy relationship also, and that she will never have to say goodbye.

Not for that reason, at least. I have my faults, I'm the first to admit...a tendency to hit women (or anyone) is not one of them.

 

[Eve_Sundancer]

Nothing to worry about, all people have faults. I know I have my fair share as well.

 

[ClaireZ]

Back to the OP.

Four years are a lot at this point. Things could work out, but you need to tell your dad pronto. It is dishonest and wrong to hide something this important from him.

 

[Eve_Sundancer]

Agreed. You may be worried about what he'll think when you tell him you have a boyfriend that old... but what about if he finds out from someone other than you or your mother? It'll only be worse then.

 

[pro_odeh]

Right! Its not right if you have to hide it from your dad..

 

[Electric Sceptic]

Right! Its not right if you have to hide it from your dad..

I can't agree with that. I mean, whether what she's doing is right or not, the fact that she needs to hide it from her dad isn't the determining factor. What if she was dating a black man, and her dad was racist...would it be wrong for her to date him purely because she had to hide it from him?