affairs

[exitstageright]

My question was simply how do men have affairs and still want to be at home?

Why? Because:

If you're tied up
You'd better stay tied up
Cause it's cheaper to keep her
This is from T services

It's cheaper to keep her
It's cheaper to keep her

When your little
Girl make you mad
And you get an attitude
And pack your bags

Five little children
That you're leaving behind
Son, you're gonna pay some
Alimony or do some time

That's why
It's cheaper to keep her
Help me say it, y'all
It's cheaper to keep her
(It's cheaper to keep her)

See, when you get through
Staring that judge in the face
You're gonna wanna cuss
The whole human race

That's why
It's cheaper to keep her
(It's cheaper to keep her)
(It's cheaper to keep her)
(It's cheaper, it's cheaper)
(It's cheaper, it's cheaper)
(It's cheaper to keep her)

You didn't pay but two dollars
To bring the little girl home
Now you're about to pay
Two thousand to leave her alone

You see another woman out there
And you wanna make a change
She aint gonna want you cause
You won't have a darn thing

That's why it's cheaper to keep her

 

[dysert]

My question was simply how do men have affairs and still want to be at home?

I would guess that it's because being at home is the least bad of all the bad options.

 

[miss-a]

I'm sticking with my first answer. Selfishness. Immaturity. He has his cake and his cupcake. It's all about him, and how he effects others matters not to him.

 

[pittsflyer]

In some cases not all cases.

I'm sticking with my first answer. Selfishness. Immaturity. He has his cake and his cupcake. It's all about him, and how he effects others matters not to him.

 

[pittsflyer]

From an eternal prespective this is why cutting off the marriage and moving on is better. So there can be healing from an ex's poor behavior and you can get back on track with Jesus and a new wife. But in modern times there are cases where the financial fall out has gotten so extreme it gives some men pause.

Which sin is going to keep them out of heaven? The one where my friend has had forced celebacy for 20 years within marriage by his wife or his affair?

I kind of think that neither really matter near as much as the fact that neither has Christ as their Lord so their sins aren't covered by His blood even if confessed.

 

[pittsflyer]

Most men will stand by their women when they are in a hospital bed or some kind of recovery, its when she just decides she is not in the mood but is otherwise perfectly functional and healthy. That's where it becomes unacceptable and most men will eventually leave. Most reasonable people understand legitimate illness its when a person walking around functioning in society going to a job taking care of kids just decides dad is not getting any and chalk it up to "mental illness", well she can go have her mental illness by herself because the problem with that is there is no time line, no legitimate doctors to talk to. Its just an excuse.

Selfishness. Immaturity. I get sooooooooooooooo bugged when I hear of men leaving or cheating because their wife went through something and now doesn't enjoy sex. My feeling: Dude, get a clue. She's your wife. Instead of dumping her, her feelings, and/or the relationship, get a clue and try to help her through this hard time. Don't abandon these ladies, you brood of vipers. HELP HER. Jesus was beaten, shamed, blamed, spit on, and died for His bride and all you can do is go shopping for a little girl half your age. Man stinkin' up. Research herbs and meds and anything that will help her, you big baby. Instead of sitting around feeling sorry for yourself because you can't have what you want, take a few seconds to realize THERE'S A REASON SHE'S NOT THE SAME AND SHE WAS AND HELP HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because if you do, when she's better and has healed and you have stood by her, you will end up with sex better than you or that seventeen year old child you've been lusting over could ever imagine, and you'll be a better person to boot.

Yes, you may quote me and please do.

 

[blackribbon]

Mental illness is a real illness. The brain is an organ in the body just like the heart and the pancreas. People can't just declare they have an mental illness anymore than they can just declare they have diabetes or cancer because they want an excuse to avoid something.

However, because it involves the brain and the very basic way people function, it is an illness that can damage other people in the relationship. Can we walk out on a person who is so physically damaged that they can no longer function normally? Most people do not think that this is justification for divorce. If this is the standard, then maybe they shouldn't be allowed to leave a mentally ill spouse either. We like to hero-worship the one who stays in these marriages and demonize the one who can't handle it. I am torn because I feel heart and soul for both. Maybe the difference really is how much love existed before the illness? I would think that if a mentally ill person truly loved their spouse, then they would attempt to show it. If you only married Mr or Miss Good Enough who just barely crossed the "minimum standard" then what value they had initially would probably be gone.

I wish my friend would just say that he loves his wife and that is why he stays....no matter how messed up that would be. Maybe that she needs him and he won't abandon her even if she can't be the wife he thought she would be. However, I get the impression that he stays because of money...his fear of being "poor" is greater than anything else. Then I pity both women because he really loves neither of them. What a sad life where the love of your life lives in a bank vault or in an investment portfolio.

 

[redblue22]

Mental illness is a real illness. The brain is an organ in the body just like the heart and the pancreas. People can't just declare they have an mental illness anymore than they can just declare they have diabetes or cancer because they want an excuse to avoid something.

However, because it involves the brain and the very basic way people function, it is an illness that can damage other people in the relationship. Can we walk out on a person who is so physically damaged that they can no longer function normally? Most people do not think that this is justification for divorce. If this is the standard, then maybe they shouldn't be allowed to leave a mentally ill spouse either. We like to hero-worship the one who stays in these marriages and demonize the one who can't handle it. I am torn because I feel heart and soul for both. Maybe the difference really is how much love existed before the illness? I would think that if a mentally ill person truly loved their spouse, then they would attempt to show it. If you only married Mr or Miss Good Enough who just barely crossed the "minimum standard" then what value they had initially would probably be gone.

I wish my friend would just say that he loves his wife and that is why he stays....no matter how messed up that would be. Maybe that she needs him and he won't abandon her even if she can't be the wife he thought she would be. However, I get the impression that he stays because of money...his fear of being "poor" is greater than anything else. Then I pity both women because he really loves neither of them. What a sad life where the love of your life lives in a bank vault or in an investment portfolio.

I'm not sure why people would gain or lose their value. But people do leave one another over a lot less than mental illness, so I wouldn't expect most people to stick around.

.

 

[PrincePurpleRose]

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[PrincePurpleRose]

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[redblue22]

I don't see your age label.

.

 

[PrincePurpleRose]

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[pittsflyer]

Have you ever had to drive a beater car/truck that you could not afford to fix and could not afford to buy new (and not because you were a poor college student but a grown up with a real job)?

Have you ever wanted to get a new cert for your career or new equipment but couldn't afford it?

Have you ever wanted to take time off because you were burned out but could not afford to take the time off?

Have you ever wanted to buy things for a hobbie or a way to de-stress but could not afford it?

Do you like working pay check to pay check so that if anything happened to your job you would have to settle for what ever you could get to pay the rent/mortgage?

Being broke takes a lot of options away from you.

Now imagine not being able to do any of those things for the next 18 years. constantly living check to check because the courts are taking every extra dime from you. Having to file court paper work and stand in lines every time you are laid off or your income changes and being scrutinized as to why it changed.

My love is for Jesus and getting off this planet but it is statistically probable that I am going to be here for quite some time so I would prefer it not be completely miserable. So yea unfortunately money matters and when the love of your life walks out the money will still make things a little easier and its a lot harder for the money to leave than a person (takes a court order). All a person has to do is say no (or in California yes, lol).

Also the actual scientific facts on mental illness are really shakey (other than in really rare instances where they can see dramatic differences in brain scans but those people are usually institutionalized). The reality is in cases of divorce and women its not real mental illness its just moody bratty behavior in the great majority of cases. If it is real genuine full blown mental illness then they should be locked up because they are a danger to everyone around them.

And you are wrong, my Mrs. good enough I will be there for. She has been in the hospital for several weeks before and I was there. If she started acting like a nut job and was abusing me and tried to claim "mental illness" I would be gone that day. I don't care if some quack doctor thinks there is some spot on a criptic brain scan print out im not going to live in hell over it. People like to piggy back onto lagimiate things because it makes what would normally be totally outrageous unacceptable behavior more socially acceptable. Liberals try to shame people who call "mentally ill" people out on their behavior, when in reality if they were really mentally ill they would likely be locked up.

I am sure there are some genuinely mentally ill people out there who have not technically commited a crime but I am not going to be the one they flip out on.

Mental illness is a real illness. The brain is an organ in the body just like the heart and the pancreas. People can't just declare they have an mental illness anymore than they can just declare they have diabetes or cancer because they want an excuse to avoid something.

However, because it involves the brain and the very basic way people function, it is an illness that can damage other people in the relationship. Can we walk out on a person who is so physically damaged that they can no longer function normally? Most people do not think that this is justification for divorce. If this is the standard, then maybe they shouldn't be allowed to leave a mentally ill spouse either. We like to hero-worship the one who stays in these marriages and demonize the one who can't handle it. I am torn because I feel heart and soul for both. Maybe the difference really is how much love existed before the illness? I would think that if a mentally ill person truly loved their spouse, then they would attempt to show it. If you only married Mr or Miss Good Enough who just barely crossed the "minimum standard" then what value they had initially would probably be gone.

I wish my friend would just say that he loves his wife and that is why he stays....no matter how messed up that would be. Maybe that she needs him and he won't abandon her even if she can't be the wife he thought she would be. However, I get the impression that he stays because of money...his fear of being "poor" is greater than anything else. Then I pity both women because he really loves neither of them. What a sad life where the love of your life lives in a bank vault or in an investment portfolio.

 

[redblue22]

Rose, I know how old I am as well. Thank you for the compliment.

Pitts, I'm gonna guess that those living on disability don't qualify for your scenario either.

 

[PrincePurpleRose]

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[Messy]

I have never been called Rose before so I did not realize you were talking to me.

I wasn't going to rat you out it just surprised me that you are older. I was under the impression that you were only in your 20s.

Rose? You do realize I am NWAB don't you?

You were, but now you're Rose. You picked that name yourself. Nice avatar!

 

[redblue22]

I have never been called Rose before so I did not realize you were talking to me.

I wasn't going to rat you out it just surprised me that you are older. I was under the impression that you were only in your 20s.

Rose? You do realize I am NWAB don't you?

I realize it now. I picked rose because I wasn't going to call you "prince."

I didn't see a maturity test anywhere, so I might be slipping in the maturity requirement.

 

[PrincePurpleRose]

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[PrincePurpleRose]

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[blackribbon]

Pittsflyer...yes, I have lived the way you describe for a lot of years....because my dad walked out on us and all his money went to his new girlfriend and her family.

Also say what you want about psychiatric medical disorders and continue the stigma so people don't get help. Most psychiatric patients DON'T "claim" their diagnoses...they deny them with heart and soul because they know they will never be treated the same again in their lives. Nobody wants a psychiatric diagnosis....it isn't the "easy" way to anything.

And unfortunately, no, we aren't able to always get a scan of mental illness...but there are plenty other diseases that we can't "see" in a picture. I personally think it is because we haven't found the right imagining mechanism or blood test. Mental illness in only in the infancy of its medical research right now. I have worked shoulder to shoulder with those who do have psychiatric diagnoses and I have seen medication work. There is no medication that "fixes" bad behavior so maybe the behavior really has an organic cause. Have you ever seen a diabetic who is extremely hyperglycemic? They appear drunk...telling them to "shape up" and "get their head on straight" won't help them...insulin will help them. Same goes for a bipolar deep in either their depressive or manic cycle. The problem is (not unlike the diabetic) that their body chemistry is out of balance and can be regulated with medical help.