affairs

[exitstageright]

Oh yes it does.

Al,did you forget about the thief on the cross?The thief was a sinner.After he accepted Jesus,Jesus told him,"Today,you will be with me in Paradise."

 

[Messy]

Selfishness. Immaturity. I get sooooooooooooooo bugged when I hear of men leaving or cheating because their wife went through something and now doesn't enjoy sex. My feeling: Dude, get a clue. She's your wife. Instead of dumping her, her feelings, and/or the relationship, get a clue and try to help her through this hard time. Don't abandon these ladies, you brood of vipers. HELP HER. Jesus was beaten, shamed, blamed, spit on, and died for His bride and all you can do is go shopping for a little girl half your age. Man stinkin' up. Research herbs and meds and anything that will help her, you big baby. Instead of sitting around feeling sorry for yourself because you can't have what you want, take a few seconds to realize THERE'S A REASON SHE'S NOT THE SAME AND SHE WAS AND HELP HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because if you do, when she's better and has healed and you have stood by her, you will end up with sex better than you or that seventeen year old child you've been lusting over could ever imagine, and you'll be a better person to boot.

Yes, you may quote me and please do.

It can also be selfishness of the other one or both. This Guy isn't even saved. This marriage can be healed If you're both saved and want it to work and love each other and Find a real good ministry to help you.

 

[exitstageright]

Selfishness. Immaturity. I get sooooooooooooooo bugged when I hear of men leaving or cheating because their wife went through something and now doesn't enjoy sex. My feeling: Dude, get a clue. She's your wife. Instead of dumping her, her feelings, and/or the relationship, get a clue and try to help her through this hard time. Don't abandon these ladies, you brood of vipers. HELP HER. Jesus was beaten, shamed, blamed, spit on, and died for His bride and all you can do is go shopping for a little girl half your age. Man stinkin' up. Research herbs and meds and anything that will help her, you big baby. Instead of sitting around feeling sorry for yourself because you can't have what you want, take a few seconds to realize THERE'S A REASON SHE'S NOT THE SAME AND SHE WAS AND HELP HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because if you do, when she's better and has healed and you have stood by her, you will end up with sex better than you or that seventeen year old child you've been lusting over could ever imagine, and you'll be a better person to boot.

Yes, you may quote me and please do.

My second wife did have an emotional illness.I did try to help her. At Stanford Medical Center,where I worked at the time,she was offered free counseling. But,she refused the help. When I came home from work that day,she told me,"I am calling the police!!!" I asked her,"Why?"
She told me,"Because you (me) are harassing me with counseling!"

So,you see? I had enough of this garbage! I treated her as I would treat a bad movie in a theater. In others words,I just walked out.The house,that we were living in, was all paid for by her late father. During my last year staying there,I was one of those "technical virgins." She had threaten to kill me. I had to sleep in a different bedroom with the door locked,every night for a whole year. Now,how can anyone call that a marriage? She also told me that I will have to pay her $400 per month rent! I told her,"I am not even going to pay you ten cents!"
I stayed there with her until I could save up enough money for moving expenses and rent plus deposit for an apartment. I called this money my"F.U., I Am Leaving Money"

 

[Honest Al]

Selfishness. Immaturity. I get sooooooooooooooo bugged when I hear of men leaving or cheating because their wife went through something and now doesn't enjoy sex. My feeling: Dude, get a clue. She's your wife. Instead of dumping her, her feelings, and/or the relationship, get a clue and try to help her through this hard time. Don't abandon these ladies, you brood of vipers. HELP HER. Jesus was beaten, shamed, blamed, spit on, and died for His bride and all you can do is go shopping for a little girl half your age. Man stinkin' up. Research herbs and meds and anything that will help her, you big baby. Instead of sitting around feeling sorry for yourself because you can't have what you want, take a few seconds to realize THERE'S A REASON SHE'S NOT THE SAME AND SHE WAS AND HELP HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because if you do, when she's better and has healed and you have stood by her, you will end up with sex better than you or that seventeen year old child you've been lusting over could ever imagine, and you'll be a better person to boot.

Yes, you may quote me and please do.

No sooner said, then done.
(I especially like the last paragraph.)

 

[miss-a]

No sooner said, then done.
(I especially like the last paragraph.)

Cool. Thanks!

 

[Honest Al]

Al,did you forget about the thief on the cross?The thief was a sinner.After he accepted Jesus,Jesus told him,"Today,you will be with me in Paradise."

I don't think I've forgotten the thief on the cross. And I certainly know that Christians sometimes still fall into sin and need forgiveness and cleansing. At the same time, and I'm not saying that's where you're at, but I see in much of today's Christianity a gospel that's all about forgiveness and love, while doing away with obedience. And I believe it's wrong and deadly.

"Not all people who sound religious are really godly. They may refer to me as 'Lord,' but they still won't enter the Kingdom of Heaven. The decisive issue is whether they obey my Father in heaven." {Matthew 7:21 NLT}

 

[blackribbon]

Selfishness. Immaturity. I get sooooooooooooooo bugged when I hear of men leaving or cheating because their wife went through something and now doesn't enjoy sex. My feeling: Dude, get a clue. She's your wife. Instead of dumping her, her feelings, and/or the relationship, get a clue and try to help her through this hard time. Don't abandon these ladies, you brood of vipers. HELP HER. Jesus was beaten, shamed, blamed, spit on, and died for His bride and all you can do is go shopping for a little girl half your age. Man stinkin' up. Research herbs and meds and anything that will help her, you big baby. Instead of sitting around feeling sorry for yourself because you can't have what you want, take a few seconds to realize THERE'S A REASON SHE'S NOT THE SAME AND SHE WAS AND HELP HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because if you do, when she's better and has healed and you have stood by her, you will end up with sex better than you or that seventeen year old child you've been lusting over could ever imagine, and you'll be a better person to boot.

Yes, you may quote me and please do.

Most psychiatric conditions don't have cures...and the person who has the issue needs to want to be helped. They are triggered by events such as substance abuse or even pregnancy so don't show up until after people are older. She wants to go to counseling and have the counselor tell her she is justified in shutting down and that everything that is wrong is his fault. She has found one that meets that requirement and he gets to pay for it. Considering he is now a nurse...and a good one...I suspect that he has done his research on the treatments..both traditional and alternative. (She hates that he is now a nurse...not a manly enough career for her.)

I find the assumptions that you make very interesting...it isn't a 17 year old girl...but rather a woman his own age that he is having the affair with..and this isn't while the wife is exhausted raising a baby...how long do you have to wait for your wife to want you again?....20 years seems like he was pretty patient. I just find the fact that he would rather have the affair than give up and move on with his life very puzzling.

 

[blackribbon]

It can also be selfishness of the other one or both. This Guy isn't even saved. This marriage can be healed If you're both saved and want it to work and love each other and Find a real good ministry to help you.

Neither are Christians...nor have any desire to be. I don't know about her, but his experiences with Christians have been very judgmental and he isn't even open to talking about it. I'm guessing that right now isn't the time he is going to want to fix himself...especially under Christian standards...he doesn't feel guilt but rather feels like he "deserves a little happiness" in his life.

 

[blackribbon]

My second wife did have an emotional illness.I did try to help her. At Stanford Medical Center,where I worked at the time,she was offered free counseling. But,she refused the help. When I came home from work that day,she told me,"I am calling the police!!!" I asked her,"Why?"
She told me,"Because you (me) are harassing me with counseling!"

So,you see? I had enough of this garbage! I treated her as I would treat a bad movie in a theater. In others words,I just walked out.The house,that we were living in, was all paid for by her late father. During my last year staying there,I was one of those "technical virgins." She had threaten to kill me. I had to sleep in a different bedroom with the door locked,every night for a whole year. Now,how can anyone call that a marriage? She also told me that I will have to pay her $400 per month rent! I told her,"I am not even going to pay you ten cents!"
I stayed there with her until I could save up enough money for moving expenses and rent plus deposit for an apartment. I called this money my"F.U., I Am Leaving Money"

What happened to all your money and savings? ... your story is a little bit different, you knew she was bipolar when you married her. And it isn't an "emotional illness", it is a psychiatric illness. It is a real medical condition.

 

[exitstageright]

What happened to all your money and savings? ... your story is a little bit different, you knew she was bipolar when you married her. And it isn't an "emotional illness", it is a psychiatric illness. It is a real medical condition.

Most of my savings were and are tied up in my IRA accounts. There are tax penalties if you withdraw your funds before age 59 and a half. She was in charge of paying our bills.But,she was only paying the minimum payments.Therefore,our balances were not being paid off. Before I married her,being single,for vacations,I would charge the vacation on a credit card.I would then pay four times the minimum payment.The day before I was to go on vacation,I would pay the rest of the balance off.Therefore,I would have zero balance on that card when I went on vacation.When I left her,my total balance,for all cards,in which I no longer have,was $62,343.That was in 2007.Now,I only owe $20,254. At,$1362 per month,that is a payment of $16,344 per year. So hopefully,LORD willing,I can pay this Credit Counseling thing off in January of 2016. Then I can put away $1,000 a month into my original IRA,and $362 a month into my vacation fund. This year, I plan to sell all of my 49ers football tickets in order to pay off this debt early in January of 2016.

So,by October of 2016,I will have ample funds saved up to go,with some of my church members, on a "Foot Steps of Paul Tour" in Turkey.This is a tour of the main ancient cities that Paul preached in such as Corinth,Ephesus,and Thessalonica .

Since I am selling my football tickets this year,this proves that I am very serious about paying off this debt. My car is already paid off.

 

[exitstageright]

What happened to all your money and savings? ... your story is a little bit different, you knew she was bipolar when you married her. And it isn't an "emotional illness", it is a psychiatric illness. It is a real medical condition.

These are your words,not mine.

"Most psychiatric conditions don't have cures...and the person who has the issue needs to want to be helped. "

She did not want to get help One day,while talking to her about her emotions,she told me,"Well......I LIKE THEM!"

There are times like these that I wished that some of us humans can be like Mr. Spock. As Mr,Spock never got his feelings hurt.

Sometimes I wonder why did GOD give us all of these emotions,when HE knew that we were all going to fail the test of controlling them?

 

[Messy]

It's so easy to tell someone he has to be loving and understanding and just take this all because the poor person is ill. Lol I don't blame my ex for dumping me. Next time it was the other way around and then I understood perfectly that he just had no other choice.

 

[blackribbon]

These are your words,not mine.

"Most psychiatric conditions don't have cures...and the person who has the issue needs to want to be helped. "

She did not want to get help One day,while talking to her about her emotions,she told me,"Well......I LIKE THEM!"

There are times like these that I wished that some of us humans can be like Mr. Spock. As Mr,Spock never got his feelings hurt.

Sometimes I wonder why did GOD give us all of these emotions,when HE knew that we were all going to fail the test of controlling them?

It DOES often feel good to be manic...but it isn't a physically healthy state and often families have to love their family members enough to have them involuntarily admitted. The manic stage only lasts for a limited period of time otherwise the person would most likely die of dehydration and potentially starvation.

When a person is in the middle of their psychotic or manic state, many will not want help...but I am talking about the long term...how do they feel when they have "come down".

 

[exitstageright]

It DOES often feel good to be manic...but it isn't a physically healthy state and often families have to love their family members enough to have them involuntarily admitted. The manic stage only lasts for a limited period of time otherwise the person would most likely die of dehydration and potentially starvation.

When a person is in the middle of their psychotic or manic state, many will not want help...but I am talking about the long term...how do they feel when they have "come down".

Wow! I did not know that it felt good to be manic.Thanks for informing me of that.

 

[miss-a]

My second wife did have an emotional illness.I did try to help her. At Stanford Medical Center,where I worked at the time,she was offered free counseling. But,she refused the help. When I came home from work that day,she told me,"I am calling the police!!!" I asked her,"Why?"
She told me,"Because you (me) are harassing me with counseling!"

So,you see? I had enough of this garbage! I treated her as I would treat a bad movie in a theater. In others words,I just walked out.The house,that we were living in, was all paid for by her late father. During my last year staying there,I was one of those "technical virgins." She had threaten to kill me. I had to sleep in a different bedroom with the door locked,every night for a whole year. Now,how can anyone call that a marriage? She also told me that I will have to pay her $400 per month rent! I told her,"I am not even going to pay you ten cents!"
I stayed there with her until I could save up enough money for moving expenses and rent plus deposit for an apartment. I called this money my"F.U., I Am Leaving Money"

It does not sound, then that you left her because of sex, but rather to avoid the abuse that resulted from the mental illness and the imposed threat. My post was regarding guys who leave because of sexual issues.

 

[Messy]

It does not sound, then that you left her because of sex, but rather to avoid the abuse that resulted from the mental illness and the imposed threat. My post was regarding guys who leave because of sexual issues.

Well if she's abused or raped the sex won't just get better or if you're unlucky She'll never want it. And those can have mental issues too.

 

[PrincePurpleRose]

+

 

[exitstageright]

It does not sound, then that you left her because of sex, but rather to avoid the abuse that resulted from the mental illness and the imposed threat. My post was regarding guys who leave because of sexual issues.

Well,there were sexual issues. Because I did not want to have sex with her.It is hard for me to fight and to make love at the same time. There are some women who do like to have some conflict,and or some drama before having sex.
I had no sex drive when I was married to her.Now,that I am single again,my sex drive has returned.

Because of her child like behavior,I did not want to act like a pedophile.

 

[Messy]

nm

 

[blackribbon]

Women do have affairs also so lets not say it just men.

I know this...but I think women do it for different reasons and I think most women who get to the point of having an affair are willing to walk away from their marriage...

Your quote states it perfect. She has cute him off and so he is going somewhere were he can get it at.

She stopped being interested in sex 20 years ago...why now?...especially if he doesn't intend on leaving her?

Some women get bored with the bedroom and stop sharing their love with their man. After about 6 months of only getting attention once every 3 weeks the man says forget this, I work hard and pay my bills and I am going to get some love.

Do not blame the man for going out and getting what his wife should be giving to him.

Just because he goes out and gets love somewhere else does not mean he does not love his wife.

If you husband stopped feeding you would you not go somewhere else to get food?

If my husband stopped feeding me,yes, I would get food somewhere else but I wouldn't go back to watch tv with him or just "hang out in the kitchen". I'd assume he didn't love me and leave.

Women have a need for talking and emotions. Guys like to satisfy their flesh and watch football.

So why an affair that means a relationship and not just a paid professional that keeps it on the flesh only level.

She is as much to blame as he is if she is holding out on him.

They are partners and should be pleasing each other and you can not tell me he is not wanting to make love as all she has to do is breath and he is ready.

My question was simply how do men have affairs and still want to be at home?