affairs

[blackribbon]

How sad.

 

[pittsflyer]

Contrary to the old addage "money cant buy happieness", it actaully can buy some measure of happieness.

For many people, they feel that happiness is unattainable. So the default position is to acquire money. That at least provides some amount of freedom.

 

[quietpraiyze]

Why do men have affairs? Especially when they never intend on leaving their wives? Can they really separate the bedroom part of their lives from the rest of it?

I have a friend whom I know things about him that his wife doesn't. I just don't understand and don't know how to advise him. Mostly I just avoid him now.

[FONT=Georgia, serif]From what I understand when some men get caught in their infidelity many respond with they just had sex with that woman but they love their wife. In their pride, they compartmentalize and rationalize the sex. However I think they cheat because they choose to. They may all have different reasons but ultimately it's a choice. I know that sounds simplistic but it's like back when I was a child and old folks used to say someone (an adult) was “sin sick”. What that meant was that the person was so entrenched in a lie, they could no longer tell you the truth even if they tried. It takes the power of God to break that, so I don't know if you can advise. Also if they're Christian sometimes people get their theology all mixed up or messed up. Its like they know God hates divorce but they can just repent for an affair...if that makes sense. [/FONT]​

 

[blackribbon]

Contrary to the old addage "money cant buy happieness", it actaully can buy some measure of happieness.

Happiness doesn't come in "measures". Neither does unconditional love.

I see wealthy people getting divorced and unhappy.

I don't know that I've ever seen a happy person looking for a divorce or willing to sacrifice that happiness for financial gain.

Money makes life easier but it doesn't buy real happiness. It just buys things.

 

[blackribbon]

[FONT=Georgia, serif]From what I understand when some men get caught in their infidelity many respond with they just had sex with that woman but they love their wife. In their pride, they compartmentalize and rationalize the sex. However I think they cheat because they choose to. They may all have different reasons but ultimately it's a choice. I know that sounds simplistic but it's like back when I was a child and old folks used to say someone (an adult) was “sin sick”. What that meant was that the person was so entrenched in a lie, they could no longer tell you the truth even if they tried. It takes the power of God to break that, so I don't know if you can advise. Also if they're Christian sometimes people get their theology all mixed up or messed up. Its like they know God hates divorce but they can just repent for an affair...if that makes sense. [/FONT]​

This makes a lot of sense. I don't know if my friend loves his wife or not. He says he doesn't but I wonder if that isn't more a lie to cover that he isn't sure if she loves him. This family isn't Christian nor religious per se, so this isn't a sin against God in their eyes. Maybe that is how he can think it is okay.

I always hated divorce in all circumstances...but as I work in the medical field and especially, on the psychiatric floor, I am starting to believe that some psychiatric illnesses may very well be justification for divorce...not just for the mental health of the non-ill spouse but also for the mental health and safety of the children. But get a divorce...don't have an affair.

Finding out about an affair can be the very thing that puts a mentally ill person on the psych floor of the hospital...and they may never really recover totally.

 

[Messy]

This makes a lot of sense. I don't know if my friend loves his wife or not. He says he doesn't but I wonder if that isn't more a lie to cover that he isn't sure if she loves him. This family isn't Christian nor religious per se, so this isn't a sin against God in their eyes. Maybe that is how he can think it is okay.

I always hated divorce in all circumstances...but as I work in the medical field and especially, on the psychiatric floor, I am starting to believe that some psychiatric illnesses may very well be justification for divorce...not just for the mental health of the non-ill spouse but also for the mental health and safety of the children. But get a divorce...don't have an affair.

Finding out about an affair can be the very thing that puts a mentally ill person on the psych floor of the hospital...and they may never really recover totally.

Yup That was in our case. Did a suïcide attempt because of a stupid affair (only chatting) and him wanting to divorce and take the kids. I was nuts because I was pregnant and got the wrong medication which made me suïcidal. The Church couldn't help us and it was all my fault. Neither could the psychiater, he made it far worse with those meds. T.B. Joshua helps those marriages.

 

[Honest Al]

Why do men have affairs?

I'm sure this isn't the only reason, but it's the main one. And I'm convinced it's one of the biggest sins of the day and is going to keep millions of men out of heaven.

"This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be... incontinent." {2 Timothy 3:1-3 KJV}

INCONTINENT: "Not restraining the passions or appetites, particularly the sexual appetite; indulging lust without restraint.."

P.S.--Here's a true picture of the end result of "indulging lust without restraint."

"I had many beautiful concubines (300, besides 700 wives)... I did not restrain myself." (The result?) Everything is meaningless," says the Teacher, "utterly meaningless!" "...It is all so meaningless and depressing." {Solomon in Ecclesiastes}

P.S.S.--I think I'll end on a good note:

"Who can find a virtuous wife? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She will not hinder him but help him all her life." {Proverbs 31:10-12 NLT}

As always, God's way is the way of true happiness. Praise God!!!

 

[dysert]

I'm sure this isn't the only reason, but it's the main one. And I'm convinced it's one of the biggest sins of the day and is going to keep millions of men out of heaven.

"This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be... incontinent." {2 Timothy 3:1-3 KJV}

INCONTINENT: "Not restraining the passions or appetites, particularly the sexual appetite; indulging lust without restraint.." (Noah Webster 1828 Dictionary)

Sin doesn't keep people out of heaven. The rejection of Jesus as Lord does.

 

[Honest Al]

Sin doesn't keep people out of heaven.

Oh yes it does.

 

[dysert]

Oh yes it does.

C'mon Al. Everyone has sinned and does sin. If sin kept us out of heaven it would be empty of all humans.

 

[blackribbon]

I'm sure this isn't the only reason, but it's the main one. And I'm convinced it's one of the biggest sins of the day and is going to keep millions of men out of heaven.

"This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be... incontinent." {2 Timothy 3:1-3 KJV}

INCONTINENT: "Not restraining the passions or appetites, particularly the sexual appetite; indulging lust without restraint.."

P.S.--Here's a true picture of the end result of "indulging lust without restraint."

"I had many beautiful concubines (300, besides 700 wives)... I did not restrain myself." (The result?) Everything is meaningless," says the Teacher, "utterly meaningless!" "...It is all so meaningless and depressing." {Solomon in Ecclesiastes}

P.S.S.--I think I'll end on a good note:

"Who can find a virtuous wife? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She will not hinder him but help him all her life." {Proverbs 31:10-12 NLT}

As always, God's way is the way of true happiness. Praise God!!!

Which sin is going to keep them out of heaven? The one where my friend has had forced celebacy for 20 years within marriage by his wife or his affair?

I kind of think that neither really matter near as much as the fact that neither has Christ as their Lord so their sins aren't covered by His blood even if confessed.

 

[Honest Al]

Sorry, double post

 

[Honest Al]

C'mon Al. Everyone has sinned and does sin. If sin kept us out of heaven it would be empty of all humans.

"You are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins." {Matthew 1:21}[/B] (There's not a translation on earth that says, "in their sins.")

"Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God's people... You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and God... Don't be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the terrible anger of God comes upon all those who disobey him." {Ephesians 5:3-6 NLT}

 

[Honest Al]

Which sin is going to keep them out of heaven? The one where my friend has had forced celebacy for 20 years within marriage by his wife or his affair?

I kind of think that neither really matter near as much as the fact that neither has Christ as their Lord so their sins aren't covered by His blood even if confessed.

You lost me. How is "forced celibacy" sin?
Christ is not a "covering" for our sin, of but a Savior from our sin.

"Jesus came to take away our sins, for there is no sin in him. So if we continue to live in him, we won't sin either. But those who keep on sinning have never known him." {1 John 3:5, 6 NLT}

 

[blackribbon]

You lost me. How is "forced celibacy" sin?
Christ is not a "covering" for our sin, of but a Savior from our sin.

"Jesus came to take away our sins, for there is no sin in him. So if we continue to live in him, we won't sin either. But those who keep on sinning have never known him." {1 John 3:5, 6 NLT}

Forced celebacy is the sin of the wife.

1 Cor 7:1-7

1Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

 

[Honest Al]

Forced celebacy is the sin of the wife.

Oh, now I understand. But though I feel sorry for him, I don't think it justifies him having an affair. Like you said in one of your earlier posts, maybe he should get divorced.

 

[Messy]

C'mon Al. Everyone has sinned and does sin. If sin kept us out of heaven it would be empty of all humans.

There's a difference between living in sin and not repent at all and doing a sin.


Reckon Yourself      Dead.... - Home

 

[dysert]

"You are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins." {Matthew 1:21}[/B] (There's not a translation on earth that says, "in their sins.")

"Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God's people... You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and God... Don't be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the terrible anger of God comes upon all those who disobey him." {Ephesians 5:3-6 NLT}

I'm not going to argue the point. I'll just leave it at this:

Rom 10:9--> that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.

(I think you need to study the Greek words in the 1 John passage before you try teaching this doctrine of sinless perfection to others.)

 

[blackribbon]

I never said it justified the affair but even the Bible predicts that it is the result....so since you say the horrible sin is men who can't control their sexual drives, is it really worse than the sin of eliminating the sexual nature within marriage.

 

[miss-a]

My friend says that there sex life has been mostly non-existent since his wife got pregnant with their 20 year old. Depression for her became an issue after that. He says it is because he isn't happy. Why would you stay in that relationship if it has come to the point of roommates? How is having an affair better than just leaving?

Selfishness. Immaturity. I get sooooooooooooooo bugged when I hear of men leaving or cheating because their wife went through something and now doesn't enjoy sex. My feeling: Dude, get a clue. She's your wife. Instead of dumping her, her feelings, and/or the relationship, get a clue and try to help her through this hard time. Don't abandon these ladies, you brood of vipers. HELP HER. Jesus was beaten, shamed, blamed, spit on, and died for His bride and all you can do is go shopping for a little girl half your age. Man stinkin' up. Research herbs and meds and anything that will help her, you big baby. Instead of sitting around feeling sorry for yourself because you can't have what you want, take a few seconds to realize THERE'S A REASON SHE'S NOT THE SAME AND SHE WAS AND HELP HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because if you do, when she's better and has healed and you have stood by her, you will end up with sex better than you or that seventeen year old child you've been lusting over could ever imagine, and you'll be a better person to boot.

Yes, you may quote me and please do.