ABUSIVE husband...

[Godslilgurlalways]

God hates abuse, but He also hates divorce.

But that is only for those joined together and married by the plan of God

 

[Godslilgurlalways]

Huggles....
God be with you always.

praying for you and yours
Take courage & strenght
love ya gal



God's word says.....

2 Cor 6:14-15 NIV

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.
For what do rightousness and wickedness
have in common? Or what fellowship can
light have with darkness?

What harmony is there between Christ and Belial?
What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?"

Agreed couldn't say it better myself no I have seen some christians and non-believers get married and the one who didn't believe became a christian but that only happens so often

 

[AngelDove1]

Quote.. twistedsketch...

{God hates abuse, but He also hates divorce.}

Quote... Godlilgurlalways...
{But that is only for those joined together and married by the plan of God.}


In agreement with Godsgurlalways .....

 

[Deborah6763]

oh my goodness. go get help from your church leaders and from a Chrsitian counselor. Put your children and their welfare first! God does hate divorce but it seems clear to me that adultery is grounds. God hates divorce, but He LOVES you!
Take care of yoruself! Be safe so you will be able to take care of your children.

I will pray for you!

 

[jennmar77]

I agree with the above posters too. I was in an abusive marriage for nearly twenty years and decided that enough was enough about six years ago. It was the best thing I ever did. And what kept me there originally was the fear that I was going against church teachings and letting the Lord down. But do you know what I found? The Lord blessed my move away from that so-called marriage, when in reality it wasn't a marriage at all. He blessed me incredibly in ALL ways. It took a few years to be built up again as a person, because as you know it takes a lot out of you. And the Lord has been with me all the way, healing and restoring, and even setting me free from so many fears. If you are being destroyed as a person in a marriage like this, then He does not want you there, even if only temporarily. I hope and pray that He will make a way for you..

If I may ask, how far did your abusive marriage go? I mean, what is "really bad" and what is just being 2 adults fighting like children??

 

[myredeemerJESUSlives]

The abuse he uses to keep total control and power over me, complete dictatorship over everything money, friends family my time and my life in every way. Also much Punishment, maniplation, guilt, dishonor, disrespect..."useless, worthless, incompetant, ..." , demonic rages beyond anger, no kindness or love or 'fruits' of the Holy Spirit. And threats of repeated adultry and demands of sex..."service me" no hugging or love whatso ever just brutal cruel unkindness.

Praise report! I will say though that since i started this thread, likely due to those who are soo kindly praying for us, the Lord seems to be softening my DH's heart to try a little...i pray the Lord brings him to his knees, and he seeks the Lord' mercy and grace, for it is only HE that can deliver him from these cruel behaviors.amen

Thankyou for demonstrating Jesus to me and for your prayers, may the Lord bless you all abundantly amen!

 

[Tavita]

The abuse he uses to keep total control and power over me, complete dictatorship over everything money, friends family my time and my life in every way. Also much Punishment, maniplation, guilt, dishonor, disrespect..."useless, worthless, incompetant, ..." , demonic rages beyond anger, no kindness or love or 'fruits' of the Holy Spirit. And threats of repeated adultry and demands of sex..."service me" no hugging or love whatso ever just brutal cruel unkindness.

Praise report! I will say though that since i started this thread, likely due to those who are soo kindly praying for us, the Lord seems to be softening my DH's heart to try a little...i pray the Lord brings him to his knees, and he seeks the Lord' mercy and grace, for it is only HE that can deliver him from these cruel behaviors.amen

Thankyou for demonstrating Jesus to me and for your prayers, may the Lord bless you all abundantly amen!

Praise God!
That's wonderful news! Keep on praying and entrusting him to the Lord.

 

[joyousliving]

Assuming he does in fact repent. But if she keeps giving him chances and he doesn't change, eventually she'll be 80 and look back and see her life was wasted.


And no, the death penalty for something like that is too harsh.

A murderer is the only one who should be put to death.

Quick story....Husband and wife marry both unsaved. They have 5 kids. One day when the middle child is in his early 20's he comes home and announces that he is a Christian. Later mom gets saved.

The husband is an alcoholic. He is verbally and emotionally the meanest person I ever met. I believe that he enjoyed being mean.

The wife decides to stick with this man. I questioned the wisdom of that many many times.

30+ years later as the husband's health is failing he finally hears the gospel that his been preached and lived before him and repents. He dies less than 2 months later.

Did that woman waste her life? She raised 5 kids and she honored her marriage. She prayed for her husband and stuck with him just as she promised the day she married him.

The reality is that people do not treat each other well. Husbands and wives sometimes are the worst offenders. Having biblical grounds for divorce doesn't mean that she ought to use her "right" to write off her marriage.

Divorce ought to be the very last resort when EVERYTHING else has been tried. Remember that allowing for divorce was an accomodation not something that God wanted for us.

No one, man or woman, should remain in a home where their physical safety. Verbal and emotional abuse is no threat to a spouses safety. Divorce is no less emotionally painful.

 

[joyousliving]

But that is only for those joined together and married by the plan of God

God hates divorce. That is the plain reading of the bible. Where is it that you find support for the notion that this only applies to believers?

Jesus spoke about divorce with men that clearly were not believers. Did he tell them that because they were pharisees and that their marriage wasn't built on honoring God that they could divorce all they wanted? UM NO.

God hates divorce. He designed marriage to be a lifetime committment. Whether or not the people being married agree with that statement doesn't change the fact that He intends for them to stay together for a lifetime.

 

[heron]

The abuse he uses to keep total control and power over me, complete dictatorship over everything money, friends family my time and my life in every way. Also much Punishment, maniplation, guilt, dishonor, disrespect..."useless, worthless, incompetant, ..." , demonic rages beyond anger, no kindness or love or 'fruits' of the Holy Spirit. And threats of repeated adultry and demands of sex..."service me" no hugging or love whatso ever just brutal cruel unkindness.

...The Lord seems to be softening my DH's heart to try a little...i pray the Lord brings him to his knees, and he seeks the Lord' mercy and grace, for it is only HE that can deliver him from these cruel behaviors.amen

What a horrible experience you've endured all these years. I hope that your kids are able to see beyond his cruelty and shape their own lives for the best.

I'm glad that things have been easier for you this week.

One way to approach this problem, is to see that he is destroying himself with his rages, insults and relationships. Read a little bit on bipolar and similar disorders... he might have some chemical imbalances that frighten even him. The insults and treatment of you -- there's just no excuse for that.

Exodus 22:24

You shall not wrong a stranger or oppress him, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt. You shall not afflict any widow or orphan.

If you afflict him at all, and if he does cry out to Me, I will surely hear his cry; and My anger will be kindled, and I will kill you with the sword, and your wives shall become widows and your children fatherless.
​

Isaiah 10:1-4

Woe to those who enact evil statutes And to those who constantly record unjust decisions, so as to deprive the needy of justice and rob the poor of My people of their rights, so that widows may be their spoil and that they may plunder the orphans.

Now what will you do in the day of punishment, and in the devastation which will come from afar? To whom will you flee for help? And where will you leave your wealth?

...In [SIZE=-1][/SIZE]spite of all this, His anger does not turn away And His hand is still stretched out.​

 

[heron]

Ezekiel 22:25

"They have devoured lives; they have taken treasure and precious things; they have made many widows in the midst of her. Her priests have done violence to My law and have profaned My holy things; they have made no distinction between the holy and the profane, and they have not taught the difference between the unclean and the clean...

Her princes within her are like wolves tearing the prey, by shedding blood and destroying lives in order to get dishonest gain.

Her prophets have smeared whitewash for them... The people of the land have practiced oppression and committed robbery, and they have wronged the poor and needy and have oppressed the sojourner without justice. "I searched for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand in the gap before Me for the land, so that I would not destroy it; but I found no one. Thus I have poured out My indignation on them; I have consumed them with the fire of My wrath; their way I have brought upon their heads," declares the Lord God.
​

When we read mostly the New Testament, we forget how outraged God is by injustice and selfish treatment of others. His standards are throughout the scriptures, including the places that frighten us. God is our fierce protector, as well as always ready to forgive. He is the same God, never changing.

​

 

[Mr.Cheese]

1. There is no excuse for abuse.
2. Just because another man appears to be an upstanding christian doesn't mean he will treat a woman with dignity and respect. I understnad how you could have the feelings you do. But be careful that you don't jump into another mess. I recommend flying solo for a while if you get away from your current abuser.

 

[Godslilgurlalways]

God hates divorce. That is the plain reading of the bible. Where is it that you find support for the notion that this only applies to believers?

Jesus spoke about divorce with men that clearly were not believers. Did he tell them that because they were pharisees and that their marriage wasn't built on honoring God that they could divorce all they wanted? UM NO.

God hates divorce. He designed marriage to be a lifetime committment. Whether or not the people being married agree with that statement doesn't change the fact that He intends for them to stay together for a lifetime.

So are you trying to say if your husband is abusing you and won't stop you are suppose to say with him even while he is abusing you, that doesn't even sound like something God would say. Yes he disgned it to be lifetime but that is if you were joined by him.

God's word says.....

2 Cor 6:14-15 NIV

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.
For what do rightousness and wickedness
have in common? Or what fellowship can
light have with darkness?

What harmony is there between Christ and Belial?
What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?"


It says that b/c a unbeliver isn't following God so if he isn't following him he is following something. Woman sumbit to you man right but that is onlt if that man is submiting to God. To break it down Yoked together he is talking about becoming one which you do in marriage. IT's about what God joins together, nothing is impossible for God. Should the person see if it's something that they can work out through consueling or something yes. I f than yes, I am not saying the first soon as you get an a arguement leave but I saying a man shouldn't put his hands on a woman by slaping,kicking,pucnching, and any above.

 

[Godslilgurlalways]

Quote.. twistedsketch...

{God hates abuse, but He also hates divorce.}

Quote... Godlilgurlalways...
{But that is only for those joined together and married by the plan of God.}


In agreement with Godsgurlalways .....

Thanks and I am in agreement with you, sounds like were using the same bible here

 

[joyousliving]

So are you trying to say if your husband is abusing you and won't stop you are suppose to say with him even while he is abusing you, that doesn't even sound like something God would say. Yes he disgned it to be lifetime but that is if you were joined by him.

God's word says.....

2 Cor 6:14-15 NIV

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.
For what do rightousness and wickedness
have in common? Or what fellowship can
light have with darkness?

What harmony is there between Christ and Belial?
What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?"


It says that b/c a unbeliver isn't following God so if he isn't following him he is following something. Woman sumbit to you man right but that is onlt if that man is submiting to God. To break it down Yoked together he is talking about becoming one which you do in marriage. IT's about what God joins together, nothing is impossible for God. Should the person see if it's something that they can work out through consueling or something yes. I f than yes, I am not saying the first soon as you get an a arguement leave but I saying a man shouldn't put his hands on a woman by slaping,kicking,pucnching, and any above.

The verse you cite here is an admonishment to someone who is a believer to not marry an unbeliever. There are other teachings in the NT about what was to happen in the case where two unbelievers marry and one later repents. The idea is that where the unbeliever wants a divorce the believer is released from the marriage. See 1 Cor 7:10-16

The second situation the bible allows for divorce is for sexual immorality. AGAIN, while the bible allows for divorce it doesn't mean that we should look at divorce as anything other than the last resort.

NO ONE should stay in a home where their physical safety is threatened. AGAIN, there are other solutions besides divorce that one ought to look to first. From a biblical perspective this woman ought to go to her church for help. If that fails then she ought to consider legal separation before going for divorce.

The idea comes from Romans 12:18. We should always do everything we can to work toward reconciliaton. All too often married people choose divorce for very selfish reasons - they want to be single again, they feel that their spouse has abandoned them, they feel that they have been treated unfairly.

I don't know this woman or her situation. I don't really know what she means by abuse. The bible doesn't make allowances for verbal or emotional abuse. I am not saying this is at all a pleasant situation, but sending her into divorce court isn't the ONLY solution.

Saying that God doesn't want us to be in pain or suffer hurts is really absurd. While we shouldn't willingly set ourselves up to be in situations like that saying that the solution that gets us out of the pain MUST be God's way is just wrong.

Remember that God is trying to make us more like Him. He gave up His place of honor, lived in a man's body and voluntarily gave up his life to see us reconciled to Him. Only this woman with the counsel of her local church can draw the line of how far she needs to go to reconcile her marriage.

Many of our Christian brothers and sisters suffer at the hands of abusers physical violence for their faith. They have the choice of being beaten or recanting their faith. How does that fit into your picture of God wanting us to always be comfortable and never suffer harm?

Here is a story of an Egyptian woman who did nothing wrong. http://vbuttons.com/ec/6295/index.php?em_id=7561877 How does that story fit into your picture of what 'sounds right'?

As Christians Peter tells us that we ought to live in obedience to the law - see 1 Peter. He said that to the early church in asia minor. These people were being lit as torches under the tyranny of Nero. He also spoke there about wives submitting to husbands, servants to masters.

Our suffering as Christians is an OPPORTUNITY to join in the suffering of Christ. We shouldn't rush headlong looking for those opportunities, but when we find ourselves in them the first answer isn't "How can I get out?" Remember that no matter the suffering God is there with you.

 

[Theogonia]

Quick story....Husband and wife marry both unsaved. They have 5 kids. One day when the middle child is in his early 20's he comes home and announces that he is a Christian. Later mom gets saved.

The husband is an alcoholic. He is verbally and emotionally the meanest person I ever met. I believe that he enjoyed being mean.

The wife decides to stick with this man. I questioned the wisdom of that many many times.

30+ years later as the husband's health is failing he finally hears the gospel that his been preached and lived before him and repents. He dies less than 2 months later.

Did that woman waste her life? She raised 5 kids and she honored her marriage. She prayed for her husband and stuck with him just as she promised the day she married him.

The reality is that people do not treat each other well. Husbands and wives sometimes are the worst offenders. Having biblical grounds for divorce doesn't mean that she ought to use her "right" to write off her marriage.

Divorce ought to be the very last resort when EVERYTHING else has been tried. Remember that allowing for divorce was an accomodation not something that God wanted for us.

No one, man or woman, should remain in a home where their physical safety. Verbal and emotional abuse is no threat to a spouses safety. Divorce is no less emotionally painful.

In my opinion she did waste her life. She could have lsft and maybe remarried someone who actually loved her.

 

[joyousliving]

In my opinion she did waste her life. She could have lsft and maybe remarried someone who actually loved her.

You missed the point then. We don't judge whether or not we wasted our lives, God does.

If you do what God has called you to do then your life is not a waste no matter what any man thinks. Living your life under the judgement of fallen man, seeking his praises and approval is a sure way to waste your life.

 

[Theogonia]

If she was in an abusive situation and stuck it out she wasn't doing what God called her to do.

God doesn't purposely make us suffer, sometimes we suffer because of stupid decisions on our part, like hers.

Oh, and adultery isn't just sexual. It's a breaking of the marriage vows. Being unfaithful.

 

[Pepperoni]

Marriage is hard enough as it is without throwing abuse in there as well. I feel for anyone in this situation.

Keep praying.

I agree, I don't think this sort of situation could possibly be in God's plan for anyone's life.

 

[AngelDove1]

Pepperoni

Marriage is hard enough as it is without throwing abuse in there as well. I feel for anyone in this situation.

I agree, I don't think this sort of situation could possibly be in God's plan for anyone's life.
Keep praying.

If she was in an abusive situation and stuck it out she wasn't doing what God called her to do.

God doesn't purposely make us suffer, sometimes we suffer because of stupid decisions on our part, like hers.

Oh, and adultery isn't just sexual. It's a breaking of the marriage vows. Being unfaithful. [/quote]
agree.....