"Abstinence isn't realistic"

[.Mikha'el.]

I disagree with this, abstinence has everything to do with your choices and your will. People who are sexually assaulted don't have a choice in the matter. These people can abstain too.

No. Abstinance is the refrain from undergoing the sexual act. Those who have been sexually assaulted having been depriived of the choice to abstain, but have still had to surrender their abstinance.

 

[Trashionista]

It isn't realistic.

 

[Sketcher]

No. Abstinance is the refrain from undergoing the sexual act. Those who have been sexually assaulted having been depriived of the choice to abstain, but have still had to surrender their abstinance.

Abstinence is a choice, because to abstain is a verb. What you're talking about would be another word - innocence. People who are not innocent, whether it is because of their own bad decisions, or in the case of sexual assault, where they had no choice in the matter, can still abstain from this day forward.

 

[Tamara224]

I had a semi-sex talk with the Bible study group I'm leading tonight. We've got 2 girls in junior high. I tried not to preach at them - but I did talk for a bit about how important it is for them to stay close to God and trust in Him because they will face temptation and peer pressure. I told them I thought it was important for them to make a commitment to purity and righteousness now, while they are young and before they face temptation. I tried to explain to them the good results they'll get if they abstain. I hope they heard me. I think they did. I think it helps that I've been pretty open with them about my own struggles and also the rewards that I've seen in my life from abstaining. And I'm living proof to them that it can be done.

I really think that's the best we can do for the younger generation - show them.

 

[Miles]

Abstinence is realistic, although understandably difficult at times, for individuals who choose to abstain. However, it's not realistic to expect others to make the same decision. If Bristol wanted to abstain, she would have found a way to do so. However, it was unrealistic for her mom (and others) to expect it.

 

[dayhiker]

Well, one I agree with what people have said.
I too don't think the absinance only teaching is that helpful. I think it leads to as much guilt as it does victory.

As for purity, my reding of the Bible says taht purity is abstaining from worshipping idols and only related to sex when it was dealing with the fertilty cults. The sex rules in the Bible sound like property rules not purity rules to me.

Well, it seems to me that God gave a very strong sex driver to people and that's why the wisdom of ancient people had people marry so young. Now the modern wisdom says that God cerated us as asexual beings till we marry. I just don't see that as being wise or close to reality.

dayhiker

 

[Windmill]

I find it easily attainable

 

[Rhamiel]

It isn't realistic.

has it even been?
it is hard, but many people do not have sex before they are married

 

[ethan03]

i think it's pretty realistic for christians, which is a why so many do

 

[Inkachu]

Well said.

Thank you

 

[Inkachu]

I think a lot of people are confusing "unrealistic" and "difficult".

Unrealistic, by definition, means "Not compatible with reality". Since there are thousands, if not millions of celibate people in the world, to say abstinence goes against reality is just plain false.

Abstinence is difficult. It's not unrealistic. Those who say it's unrealistic are the ones who don't want to be bothered. That's the lazy answer.

 

[Julina]

I think a lot of people are confusing "unrealistic" and "difficult".

Unrealistic, by definition, means "Not compatible with reality". Since there are thousands, if not millions of celibate people in the world, to say abstinence goes against reality is just plain false.

Abstinence is difficult. It's not unrealistic. Those who say it's unrealistic are the ones who don't want to be bothered. That's the lazy answer.

well said again

 

[Inkachu]

Heh. Thanks. I just get sick of the whole "We're basically lusty animals with no self control so we have to equip our children with condoms and BC pills cause they're all lusty animals with no self control too" thing. It's a disservice to our children and a disgrace to humanity in general.

SELF CONTROL is one thing that sets us apart from animals. Practice it sometime!

 

[Julina]

Heh. Thanks. I just get sick of the whole "We're basically lusty animals with no self control so we have to equip our children with condoms and BC pills cause they're all lusty animals with no self control too" thing. It's a disservice to our children and a disgrace to humanity in general.

SELF CONTROL is one thing that sets us apart from animals. Practice it sometime!

i think teaching abstinence only is ineffective, but we still don't need to give out free condoms to everyone

 

[IzzyPop]

Abstinence is simple. Go open a WoW account...

 

[Inkachu]

Ouch Izzy, LOL.

 

[Markus6]

Virginity is one thing I have. Purity...well, i'm working on getting purity of mind back, but I feel as if I've been too far to call myself "pure". Can I remain abstinent? Yes. Did I want to 2 years ago? No.

I cringe every time I hear the word "purity" in this context.

"I've remained pure" - boasting in your self righteousness are we? Is anyone really pure? Jesus made sure to move the bar nice and high so we wouldn't think we could jump it on our own.

"I've lost my purity" - let me explain forgiveness and grace to you again...

 

[Luther073082]

Semi-blind post.

She's giving an excuse, pure and simple.

 

[nbiol]

I cringe every time I hear the word "purity" in this context.

"I've remained pure" - boasting in your self righteousness are we? Is anyone really pure? Jesus made sure to move the bar nice and high so we wouldn't think we could jump it on our own.

"I've lost my purity" - let me explain forgiveness and grace to you again...

In this sense, I'm not only talking about sexual purity, though... yeah. It's purity of mind. I could have phrased it better had it not been late, but when I said that I'm working on it, it means that every day, I make a conscious decision to let God work on my mind and restore it. Do we all make mistakes? Yes. Are we all impure because of sin? Yes. But there are more aspects to purity than that.

I haven't remained pure. There's no boasting. It's raw truth. People use their v-card to boast too...either way. Either boasting in their "conquests" or boasting in the fact that they're still a virgin. Am I still a virgin? Yes. But I can see where the Lord, even in my sin, had a hand in stopping things before they got wildly out of hand. I ignored all red flags. It's not something I'm particularly proud of. It's only by the grace of God that I'm still a virgin. It's also all God that's cleansing my mind. I've found myself saying things I don't want to say anymore... so he's helping me clean up my language.

I screw up, and the only thing I can boast about is the Lord's work in my life.

 

[JonMiller]

There is a difference between boasting (I am so good and pure because I am a virgin), stating facts (I am a virgin), praising God for what He has done in your life (there are also times when I wanted to not be a virgin and was trying to accomplish this...), etc.

It is a fact that someone is no longer a virgin, no longer has a pure mind (I don't), etc. It doesn't mean that God hasn't forgiven you, or anything of the sort. It is just facts, when you are saved you are made clean by God's righteousness, that doesn't change what happened in the past or the consequences you have to deal with/etc.

JM