A Year Lost

[EbonNelumbo]

I started cutting again. I don't know why, but this is after almost a year of recovery.

 

[oneandlonely]

what happened? what triggered it?

A year is awesome hun. Good job on making it that far.



Bethany

 

[texannurse]

You know, I'm sorry that happened, that you felt the need to cut again - but it is not a "year lost!" Hopefully you learned some things about yourself - esp that you are strong enough to give it up for a year!! That is really incredible and inspiring. I hope you can resolve whatever drove you to take it back up though. Remember, Jesus doesn't say we should never fall - we just have to keep getting up!

 

[SaRAWR]

well,if you can do it for a year you can stop 4 alote longer every time you feel like cutting just think that god made you the way he wants you he doesnt want this body he made to be coverd in scars.try reading the bible or praying everytime you feel the need to cut

 

[Im-revived]

Has something happened thats brought any of your old emotions back, maybe even a change in routine, thats brought a bit of insecurity in?

Im-revived

I started cutting again. I don't know why, but this is after almost a year of recovery.

 

[inHisgripkim]

I started cutting again. I don't know why, but this is after almost a year of recovery.

Gentleness your way:

Did you know what you were thinking or feeling when you started again? Often with me it is emotional pain and fear. I come from a history of sexual abuse and I have issues revolving around men. When my thoughts wonder in that direction, contemplating meeting someone, I notice the fear and the pain that comes up. If I have an issue at work revolving around a man, the feeling come up.

Our triggers are different for each one of us.
you can heal, and you will.
Kim

 

[inHisgripkim]

I started cutting again. I don't know why, but this is after almost a year of recovery.

Beanie: It's me again. Relapse is hard. It's hard on me cuz I get frustrated when I relapse. Each one of us who have a history of cutting, burning, hitting etc have a battle each and every day. You managed one whole year. That is awesome. You just relapsed. Relapses are sooooo frustrating because we start thinking the worst. What if this. .. . oh dear what if. . . .lot's of what ifs. We all relapse, I've been told by my therapist that it happens. Alcoholics relapse too.

It's obvious something is troubling you to cause you to relapse. That's why we are here. If you need to talk, we are here. If you can't talk to us well you got Jesus and he does listen. I go to a quiet place in my mind. It's some beautiful place by a waterfall. I call out to Jesus and He comes to me and talks with me. This is my meditation. I tell him everything. And he usually talks back.

One of my issues is seeing a monster when I look into the mirror. Now I know that its the way Im feeling that makes see that. Feel ugly so I see myself as ugly. In one of my meditations Jesus told me to look at myself through His eyes. Jesus loves us and thinks we are awesome. God made us. Each and everyone of us is perfect in His eyes. We are all God's masterpieces.

You are a masterpiece of God. You are awesome. Jesus loves you. We love you. You are the temple of God. We are the temple of God. We got to love ourselves. Jesus doesn't want it any other way.

When I relapse now, I say "oops, I goofed again" I immediately go to Jesus and let Him know I goofed. Then I ask myself "what do you think Jesus?" He tells me to get up, dust myself off, and rejoice in the day because He made it for me. "Lo, I am with you always."

Be gentle with you. Remember you are a masterpiece of God. You are awesome.

Understanding,
Inhisgripkim




(I used to hit and burn myself - I haven't done that for 8 years)

 

[EbonNelumbo]

1) I am an alcholic, diagnosed Thursday.
2) I have been doing it almost WORSE than ever before.

 

[goldenviolet]

i am so proud of you for going to doctor! i've been praying for you. what is your next steps? again, i'm so relieved. plus i think it's great when we can get help. so many of us stuggle in silence or don't have insurance/ resourses. so PRAISE GOD!!
your knowledge is power. now you have to find direction for it. the doc give you resourses?

 

[Daysoni]

OddBeani, Don't look at this as a year lost but a year gained. That's incredible. During this time you probablly picked up some great coping skills. The fact that you started cutting again isn't what is important. What is important is that you don't spend alot of time down. Pick your self back up. Don't stay down. Rach out to those that you feel comfortable and none judging. If you don't have those in your life they are here on the forums. Let people just build you up and encourage you. I know it's so hard at times. I have delt with this situation in the past and still fight the urges at times. You will make it. I will keep you in ny thoughts and prayers.

 

[meh]

1) I am an alcholic, diagnosed Thursday.
2) I have been doing it almost WORSE than ever before.

OddBeani,

I know how it feels to "lose" a year. But no one can take those 365 days from you. Do not lose sight of the fact you did go that long, and it's a good achievement.

I'm sorry you are struggling with so much right now. There is life after addictions of all kinds. I've survived most of them

I pray that God comfort and lead you during this time and my prayers are with you.