A question embarrassing

[TanteBelle]

I could of sworn there is something about nothing being forbidden in the marriage bed, as long as it's between a married couple, would probably have to be slightly smarter than I feel right now to find the verse though..

maybe it was something about things not defiling the marital bed..

I think the latter is more what is said. In all the readings I've read, never have I come across any verse that even sounds like it. And I've never heard anyone (believer or not) use 'that verse' to argue against rules within marriage.

 

[alfrodull]

I could of sworn there is something about nothing being forbidden in the marriage bed, as long as it's between a married couple, would probably have to be slightly smarter than I feel right now to find the verse though..

maybe it was something about things not defiling the marital bed..

You're probably talking about Hebrews 13:4:

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

Believe it or not, I have seen this used as an argument for "anything goes in marriage", but in context I don't really think that's what the verse is shooting for.

That said, I do agree with explodingboy's stance that there's nothing that specifically prohibits certain sexual acts within marriage (apart from sleeping with a woman on her period, and unless you also refuse to wear cotton-polyester blends that one's out the door too.) The oft-cited bit about God killing the man who "spilled his seed on the floor" is due to his failure to follow the law to provide his deceased brother an heir.

 

[TanteBelle]

You're probably talking about Hebrews 13:4:

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

Believe it or not, I have seen this used as an argument for "anything goes in marriage", but in context I don't really think that's what the verse is shooting for.

That said, I do agree with explodingboy's stance that there's nothing that specifically prohibits certain sexual acts within marriage (apart from sleeping with a woman on her period, and unless you also refuse to wear cotton-polyester blends that one's out the door too.) The oft-cited bit about God killing the man who "spilled his seed on the floor" is due to his failure to follow the law to provide his deceased brother an heir.

I don't see how the text could even be construed to mean that, but anyway, some people will try to stretch things farther than they will go.

As I said before, it mentions nothing specifically but sodomy. But once one understands the spiritual side to marriage and all and the principle behind sodomy, you find that there are other things that fall into the same spiritual principle.

 

[Teufelhund]

I don't see how the text could even be construed to mean that, but anyway, some people will try to stretch things farther than they will go.

As I said before, it mentions nothing specifically but sodomy. But once one understands the spiritual side to marriage and all and the principle behind sodomy, you find that there are other things that fall into the same spiritual principle.

Not to be a jerk here but I don't see the little married icon on your icons. Nor do I see anything in your profile that would suggest you are married. Now I am fairly sure that my wife is married to me, and therefore it seems a little off for you to be lecturing her on the spiritual side of marriage, having not experienced it. My wife also informs me that the icon does not always appear and if that is the case, please accept my sincerest apologies.

 

[TanteBelle]

Not to be a jerk here but I don't see the little married icon on your icons. Nor do I see anything in your profile that would suggest you are married. Now I am fairly sure that my wife is married to me, and therefore it seems a little off for you to be lecturing her on the spiritual side of marriage, having not experienced it. My wife also informs me that the icon does not always appear and if that is the case, please accept my sincerest apologies.

Not that I am trying to put myself in an apostles position, but I don't reckon Paul would've agreed with you there. Just because one is not married and has never 'done it' doesn't mean that they are a drongo when it comes to God and His purposes. I'll admit that I don't know much about it physically which is why I always try to stay away from that side of things, but putting my two bobs worth in about a spiritual conviction, I don't see how it can be harmful or even out of place. And I wasn't trying to lecture your wife or anyone else, but to put in a personal conviction that is yours to search and take or very politely to agree to disagree. In this case, I reckon both of us can take the latter, aye?
I will admit that I was surprised at first at your stance against it. Your faith icon says that you are Catholic and just yesterday I was reading a Catholic article on the subject at hand. Though I may have disagreed with several scriptural interpretations, the principles that they mentioned, I did agree with. I guess I must have a Catholic's view on marriage and intimacy. LOL! Cheers mate!

 

[Krystabelle]

Hey, I don't think I understand certain terms but to a certain level I would rather not.

But any how, sin isn't just something we do, it goes deeper than that. When God talks about purity, He meant it wholly in mind, soul and spirit. We're virgins when we don't have sex. But oral sex is something like sex, maybe not actually, but in my minds, it still works like sex.

Jesus have mentioned that whoever LOOKS at a woman and lust after her has commited adultery already. So a thought IS already a sin. What more if you are stimulating something similar to sex but isnt sex but is sex to the mind anyway before marriage?

Well maybe your argument is that you're already sexually active. But imagine it like parents having a child waking in the middle of the night, the parents will put them back to bed. "It's not time yet", put it to sleep till you're married.

 

[amesylou]

At a very young age I had a question in my mind about the following. God said don't have sex before marriage. Having sex is having a union via sexual organs. What if you used a condom, I mean, technically, you have a barrier between you and the person, does that still count as sin?

I mean, to be honest, you know as well as I know that oral sex is for sexual gratification. You don't have oral sex because you are hungry for pizza. You have oral sex for sexual gratification. Now the question boils down to to this... Is having a sexual release with a partner before marriage wrong?

It is a heart issue. Its motivation. I believe seeking sexual pleasure before marriage is wrong. Because it is seeking pleasure from somewhere other than God. It is not just the act of sex that is sinful, it is turning from God and finding satisfaction elsewhere. It is trying to find loop holes in a rule God has put in place for our OWN GOOD! God doesnt just say "no fun for you, you cant have sex" He is putting in place boundaries to protect us, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Sex/oral sex in itself is not sinful, it is a great blessing God has given us... however he has given us restrictions to protect us.
We tend to try and find ways "around" Gods word. But when we love Him, we lay down our own lives, and live FOR Him.
No-one ever said being a follower of Jesus would be easy, but we have Gods strength to get us through the tough times..


To the original poster: It sounds like you know what you are doing is sinful, and that you feel truly bad for what you are doing. Thats what God asks of us. Sexual sin is very difficult to break out of. Self control is not enough... you need to actively seek God for the strength to not give in to temptation. God wants us to succeed, he wants to help us, we just need to cry out to him.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

If oral and masturbation are sins for you personally, fine. But nothing in the Bible says they are, so that is not a catch all command.

 

[CrystalBrooke]

Physically you are a virgin...spiritually..well if you feel oral is a sin out of marriage then you are not.

What a married couple does in bed is between them and I don't think God frowns upon acts of love (no matter what they are) between two married people...so long as it's ONLY between the two married people.

 

[Intrepid99]

You got sexual pleasure from it. A girl was involved. Therefore, you are not a virgin. It is not the same pleasure from eating pizza, is it?

But you can always be a recycled virgin, which means you stop doing it.

 

[ashley lynne]

Your talking about something probably less than a millimeter thick.. which lets not kid ourselves as to where it's destination is.. and your trying to say that's enough of a barrier for it not to count??

The fact the barrier is up inside them with you, would suggest it's doing a lousy job of helping you refrain from loosing your "purity". Now I'm not trying move people away from using Condoms, far from it, it proves some form of intelligence, so brownie points where brownie points are due.. but it does in no way mean your not really having sex becuase you've got a tiny bit of latex between you.

You're so right.

Sex is still sex...with our without a condom. Just because you're wearing a condom doesn't mean you're technically NOT commiting a sin. The one and only thing a condom can do 99.9% of the time is prevent pregnancy. There's no guarentee it prevents STDs and, sometimes, it doesn't even prevent pregnancy. Don't fool yourself...because you're certainly not fooling God.


ImperialPhantom:

You should do more research, because it does imply somewhere in the Bible, I don't remember where, that oral sex is a sin. Nobody should even doubt that it's a sin... SEX at all before marriage is a sin. Oral sex is a form of sexual contact, don't try to fool yourself. Working your way around God's word isn't going to get you out of commiting the sin.
Personally, I don't think the Lord has anything against acts of love between a married couple. However, if they're not married, it's a completely different story.