A question embarrassing

[guilhermecardoso]

Hi,

I've a question about my virginity and sex, so i prefer to make it in a private message if that's ok. I could make it here but i think it'll be a little dirty to post.

If that isn't agains the rules of forums, anyone that wanna try help me understanding this, please send me a private message.

Thanks and sorry if the English is misunderstood

 

[explodingboy]

I doubt it's going to be too dirty, you can gloss over a few details where needed.

Otherwise, if your having sex your not a Virgin, and the only chance of still being a virgin while having sex, would be to be doing something very wrong..

 

[guilhermecardoso]

It's about oral sex and giving pleasure to a women.
When i ask myself if i'm virgin i don't feel like a virgin. Because i've been naked with a women and had oral sex or even dressed.
I know that oral sex isn't the same as sex, but at the eyes of God, for several times i've failed and fall in sin (i don't know if this is the correctly words).

But when i think if i'll marriege virgin or not, i've serious doubts about this.

 

[Tallerthanatree]

Different people have different definitions of the term. I'd say you technically are.

 

[scuba_mikey_pc_2008]

God intended sex, be it oral or sex, for marriage. In his word, the Bible, he said that our bodies are a temple to him. He also said to save ourselves until we are married.

Through his grace, salvation and forgiveness, he gave us Jesus so that all who believe in him and accept that he was sent to die to save us from our sin, might have eternal life in heaven.

We are all sinners, we are human, we are fallen people, God accepts that, that is why he sent us Jesus. The question is, where is your focus, is it on self pleasure or is it on pleasing God. There is a difference between repeated blatant sin and tripping up.

 

[guilhermecardoso]

About this phrase There is a difference between repeated blatant sin and tripping up.

You are saying that there's a difference between reppeting a sin over and over again; and receive forgiveness and just stop it.
Was that what you mean? I couldn't understand a few words

 

[scuba_mikey_pc_2008]

What I mean is, sinning over and over again, knowing that it is wrong, is not right in God's eyes. If you know what you are doing is wrong, he will forgive you, but you should then not keep doing it purposefully. God knows we will stumble and if we do the odd thing wrong and ask for forgiveness, he will forgive us.

 

[Intrepid99]

At a very young age I had a question in my mind about the following. God said don't have sex before marriage. Having sex is having a union via sexual organs. What if you used a condom, I mean, technically, you have a barrier between you and the person, does that still count as sin?

I mean, to be honest, you know as well as I know that oral sex is for sexual gratification. You don't have oral sex because you are hungry for pizza. You have oral sex for sexual gratification. Now the question boils down to to this... Is having a sexual release with a partner before marriage wrong?

 

[explodingboy]

At a very young age I had a question in my mind about the following. God said don't have sex before marriage. Having sex is having a union via sexual organs. What if you used a condom, I mean, technically, you have a barrier between you and the person, does that still count as sin?

Your talking about something probably less than a millimeter thick.. which lets not kid ourselves as to where it's destination is.. and your trying to say that's enough of a barrier for it not to count??

The fact the barrier is up inside them with you, would suggest it's doing a lousy job of helping you refrain from loosing your "purity". Now I'm not trying move people away from using Condoms, far from it, it proves some form of intelligence, so brownie points where brownie points are due.. but it does in no way mean your not really having sex becuase you've got a tiny bit of latex between you.

 

[guilhermecardoso]

For me it's the same. Having sex with a condom is the same. When the bible were wrote, it's normal that it doesn't talk about condoms because they even don't exists at that time. But it's the same.

About oral sex. The reason why i'm feeling so bad is because i had several times oral sex. And if i'm feeling bad it because i know it's wrong and that i don't should do it. It's simples as that.

 

[nesian]

If it's bothering your conscience, that probably means you shouldn't be doing it.

 

[Intrepid99]

Your talking about something probably less than a millimeter thick.. which lets not kid ourselves as to where it's destination is.. and your trying to say that's enough of a barrier for it not to count??

The fact the barrier is up inside them with you, would suggest it's doing a lousy job of helping you refrain from loosing your "purity". Now I'm not trying move people away from using Condoms, far from it, it proves some form of intelligence, so brownie points where brownie points are due.. but it does in no way mean your not really having sex becuase you've got a tiny bit of latex between you.

I agree with you. I am just telling you of my thought process of when I was young. I don't hold to that view anymore.

 

[explodingboy]

I agree with you. I am just telling you of my thought process of when I was young. I don't hold to that view anymore.

good to hear.. although, in many ways, congratulations?.. that has to be the strangest reasoning I've ever heard for "well it's not really sex because.."
Not quite good enough to knock down the two reining champions of. Bill Clintons "I did not have sex with that woman" and the Catholic/abstinence "it doesn't count if we only do it in the butt."

 

[TanteBelle]

God intended sex, be it oral or sex, for marriage. In his word, the Bible, he said that our bodies are a temple to him. He also said to save ourselves until we are married.

Through his grace, salvation and forgiveness, he gave us Jesus so that all who believe in him and accept that he was sent to die to save us from our sin, might have eternal life in heaven.

We are all sinners, we are human, we are fallen people, God accepts that, that is why he sent us Jesus. The question is, where is your focus, is it on self pleasure or is it on pleasing God. There is a difference between repeated blatant sin and tripping up.

I have to disagree. I know this is a bit strong for a girl like myself but I can't keep this one silent. Just think for a minute about some of the things that Christians (in general) allow to happen in marriage. There are basically no boundaries. So, what was God's problem with sodomy? Really think about it? Why was God so upset over it when there are so many other things that are 'okay'? The problem with it was that it was a perversion of that which brings forth life. God designed 'it' to bring forth life. Love is not an art; it is life and life can not come forth from such behaviour. Love is sacred and not to be treated lightly. It is a spiritual symbol of the Messiah's love for His people. To do anything that goes against that principle is sin. To pervert its God-given design is sin. That is why I believe such things like doing it orally, sodomy, and masturbation are one and the same in principle and therefore are sinful.

I know many believers won't agree with this, but I stand by what I believe.

About this phrase There is a difference between repeated blatant sin and tripping up.

You are saying that there's a difference between reppeting a sin over and over again; and receive forgiveness and just stop it.
Was that what you mean? I couldn't understand a few words

There are sins of knowledge and sins of ignorance. When Messiah died, He forgave your past life and gave you the chance to set yourself right with Him. 'Once you have come to the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sin'. Once you have come to Messiah, those sins of knowledge can not be claimed on the blood of Messiah. Because all you are doing is taking lightly the blood of Messiah, putting Him back on the cross for you, and treating the blood as a light thing. Sins of ignorance, God will pardon. But once you know that sin is sin, it is no longer a sin of ignorance but of knowledge. 'If a man knows what is right and does it not, to him it is sin', James says.

 

[explodingboy]

I have to disagree. I know this is a bit strong for a girl like myself but I can't keep this one silent. Just think for a minute about some of the things that Christians (in general) allow to happen in marriage. There are basically no boundaries. So, what was God's problem with sodomy? Really think about it? Why was God so upset over it when there are so many other things that are 'okay'? The problem with it was that it was a perversion of that which brings forth life. God designed 'it' to bring forth life. Love is not an art; it is life and life can not come forth from such behaviour. Love is sacred and not to be treated lightly. It is a spiritual symbol of the Messiah's love for His people. To do anything that goes against that principle is sin. To pervert its God-given design is sin. That is why I believe such things like doing it orally, sodomy, and masturbation are one and the same in principle and therefore are sinful.

I know many believers won't agree with this, but I stand by what I believe.

I'm intruiged as to what makes masturbation, oral, and sodomy a sin though. To the best of my limited biblical reference knowledge all three off them are only sins in the context of out of marriage activity. Specificly masturbation and Oral.. sodomy isn't really addressed much except in the context homosexual activity and even that is debatable when you hit verses that state the sins of Sodom and Gomorrah where pride and greed.

 

[innocenteyes]

I know how you feel brother. I stuffed up for the first time last night, my bf and i had oral sex. I feel terrible about it and I am here searching the forums seeing if somebody has some wise words to help me.

I do not know about you, but there are things we did before the oral sex that i knew were crossing the line or putting myself in very dangerous territory. I know that i should stay away. I do not want to sin.

Romans 7:15
15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.

Any advice on how to stop doing what we hate?

 

[explodingboy]

Any advice on how to stop doing what we hate?

Normally the fact I hate something is more than enough motivation not to do it.

bar going to the dentist, I do hate it, but I don't get soo much choice in the matter of not seeing them.

 

[scuba_mikey_pc_2008]

I know how you feel brother. I stuffed up for the first time last night, my bf and i had oral sex. I feel terrible about it and I am here searching the forums seeing if somebody has some wise words to help me.

I do not know about you, but there are things we did before the oral sex that i knew were crossing the line or putting myself in very dangerous territory. I know that i should stay away. I do not want to sin.

Romans 7:15
15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.

Any advice on how to stop doing what we hate?

Don't put yourself in a situation where you're going to be tempted to do it. For example, don't get into a situation where you're going to be alone in the house together or something like that. Go out more and do stuff together outside the house. Set boundaries, he's your bf, if you feel it shouldn't happen, tell him to stop, he should understand you and if he's also a Christian, he should understand why.

 

[TanteBelle]

I'm intruiged as to what makes masturbation, oral, and sodomy a sin though. To the best of my limited biblical reference knowledge all three off them are only sins in the context of out of marriage activity. Specificly masturbation and Oral.. sodomy isn't really addressed much except in the context homosexual activity and even that is debatable when you hit verses that state the sins of Sodom and Gomorrah where pride and greed.

The Bible doesn't mention directly the other two but it does mention plenty of times sodomy. And not in connection with Sodom and Gomorrah. And it clearly makes no exception for married couples with that behaviour. Homo or not, the act is an abomination. So then the question is, 'but why'? What is it about this act that God so hates? To understand that, one has to understand the spiritual application between marriage and what one does behind the closed door. When the Bible says to 'keep the marriage bed pure', it's not just talking about keeping other people out of it; it's also talking about the kind of behaviour that you do in it. I thought I explained that clearly enough before, but maybe I didn't.

I know how you feel brother. I stuffed up for the first time last night, my bf and i had oral sex. I feel terrible about it and I am here searching the forums seeing if somebody has some wise words to help me.

I do not know about you, but there are things we did before the oral sex that i knew were crossing the line or putting myself in very dangerous territory. I know that i should stay away. I do not want to sin.

Romans 7:15
15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.

Any advice on how to stop doing what we hate?

For a start, you knew it was sin and therefore you have to make repentance and reconciliation with God. But you also have to understand how God wants His people to be and what physical intimacy is all about. God didn't just put it here so that we can get a bit of 'fun' in this life. Everything physical has a spiritual application. Know Whose you are. Scuba Mikey gave a good piece of advice: have someone with you. A chaperon with you. No, they are not there to spy on you but to make you constantly aware of what you are doing and reminding you of what God expects. That is then where the issue of dating and courting comes into question. Personally, dating is a wasting of the soul, but I can't tell you what to do. In the end, only you can choose. And how do you stop it? Simple, decide to stop it. Not putting yourself in those situations is a key but everything we do is because we allowed it to happen. It starts with a choice.

 

[explodingboy]

The Bible doesn't mention directly the other two but it does mention plenty of times sodomy. And not in connection with Sodom and Gomorrah. And it clearly makes no exception for married couples with that behaviour. Homo or not, the act is an abomination. So then the question is, 'but why'? What is it about this act that God so hates? To understand that, one has to understand the spiritual application between marriage and what one does behind the closed door. When the Bible says to 'keep the marriage bed pure', it's not just talking about keeping other people out of it; it's also talking about the kind of behaviour that you do in it. I thought I explained that clearly enough before, but maybe I didn't.

I could of sworn there is something about nothing being forbidden in the marriage bed, as long as it's between a married couple, would probably have to be slightly smarter than I feel right now to find the verse though..

maybe it was something about things not defiling the marital bed..