I know you're in Heaven my love, but I thought this was a beautiful rose, and I wanted to share it with you. I love you Danny. I always have. I always will.
Oh, and Danny, can you see my hair from Heaven? I turned it red!
Your Ciners is no longer blonde! It makes me laugh when I look in the mirror, but it'll fade. Just thought I'd give ya a little something to smile about today. I love you. Enjoy your rose.
March 16th 2007: Why am I so unloveable Danny? Why does no one care? I could have died the other day, and no one even cares. That now husband of mine didn't even take me in his arms and tell me that it was going to be all right. He didn't offer to cook supper, or help me clean. Nothing. In fact, he went to sleep. Last night he went bowling for five hours. Came home after midnight. Today he has left to go out of town for the weekend, but he hasn't even bothered to call me to see how I'm doing, or to say good bye. Amanda didn't care. Mom only yelled at me for letting me sadness make me ill. I haven't told Katrina yet. I don't think I could handle it if she acted as though she didn't care too. Then again, she's so far away. I don't want to upset and worry her. She's got your heart Danny. She's the only one who would care. It's too bad I didn't die. It would be a heck of alot easier than living in this world being so sad and lonely all the time.
I don't understand why you died Danny. I don't understand why God won't let me die. Why do I have to go through each and everyday like this? I'm a good person! I never once have tried to hurt anyone, not anyone! I don't understand why I'm constantly hurt. I don't understand Danny. I don't understand. I'm not mean, I'm not ugly, and I'm not bad. So why can't I be loved? Why can't my own daughter love me? What did I do to make her turn against me like that? I was always such a good mom. I played with her, laughed with her, talked with her, cried with her. One day I was her bestfriend, and the next day she hated me, and I don't understand why. All I know is that it's breaking my heart. It really honestly is breaking my heart. I need my baby. I need her back home, and I need for her to love me again. If not I'm going to die of a broken heart. It was already half broken anyhow. You dying did that. But now she's finishing the job. Yep, maybe it'll be soon Danny. Maybe it'll soon. Maybe then they'll love me.
Oh, and Danny, can you see my hair from Heaven? I turned it red!
Your Ciners is no longer blonde! It makes me laugh when I look in the mirror, but it'll fade. Just thought I'd give ya a little something to smile about today. I love you. Enjoy your rose.March 16th 2007: Why am I so unloveable Danny? Why does no one care? I could have died the other day, and no one even cares. That now husband of mine didn't even take me in his arms and tell me that it was going to be all right. He didn't offer to cook supper, or help me clean. Nothing. In fact, he went to sleep. Last night he went bowling for five hours. Came home after midnight. Today he has left to go out of town for the weekend, but he hasn't even bothered to call me to see how I'm doing, or to say good bye. Amanda didn't care. Mom only yelled at me for letting me sadness make me ill. I haven't told Katrina yet. I don't think I could handle it if she acted as though she didn't care too. Then again, she's so far away. I don't want to upset and worry her. She's got your heart Danny. She's the only one who would care. It's too bad I didn't die. It would be a heck of alot easier than living in this world being so sad and lonely all the time.
I don't understand why you died Danny. I don't understand why God won't let me die. Why do I have to go through each and everyday like this? I'm a good person! I never once have tried to hurt anyone, not anyone! I don't understand why I'm constantly hurt. I don't understand Danny. I don't understand. I'm not mean, I'm not ugly, and I'm not bad. So why can't I be loved? Why can't my own daughter love me? What did I do to make her turn against me like that? I was always such a good mom. I played with her, laughed with her, talked with her, cried with her. One day I was her bestfriend, and the next day she hated me, and I don't understand why. All I know is that it's breaking my heart. It really honestly is breaking my heart. I need my baby. I need her back home, and I need for her to love me again. If not I'm going to die of a broken heart. It was already half broken anyhow. You dying did that. But now she's finishing the job. Yep, maybe it'll be soon Danny. Maybe it'll soon. Maybe then they'll love me.
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