My darling Toty
What an awful lonely place my flat is without you, my wee 'Zoombini' :-(
I so, so, so, so wish I could've done something to ease the trauma and horrible pain that you had to suffer on Tuesday night a few weeks back!
I'm so sorry I didn't and couldn't help you, my wee boy! :-(
When you started to have problems breathing, and opened your mouth to show me your throat, I know you were 'screaming' for my help :-(
I'm so sorry that I panicked and by the time I managed to get some water into your mouth, you had already left me. I just felt so helpless then and now, and I still don't know if water would've been able to lubricate your airway enough to help you breathe and to help digest the pasta. Someone has told me that putting water down your throat could have flooded your lungs :-(
I'll always regret giving you that horrible bit of pasta to eat! I was so happy about giving you one of the tasty morsels that you enjoy so much, and should've taken the time to think about what I was doing! The piece I gave you was far too big for your digestive system, I should've cut it much smaller! I know you know this, and thank you for forgiving me for all the pain I caused you by this careless moment of madness! :-( I just miss you so much, my baby - everywhere I look in the flat I see your beautiful face - you should be here! I'd do anything to have you back here with me in your home, where you belong, my little ray of sunshine ;-)
You're everywhere I go and everything I do at the moment, my baby! Yesterday I only had to look at the menu in a cafe (and read 'pesto' which is made from pine nuts, one of your favourite snacks), and my heart ached again to hold and kiss you my beautiful wee boy!
It's so special because people on this site are being touched by your photo, just as much as they used to ooh and aah over you when you were in the vets or at the hospital, remember? And I so miss our 'climbing the baskets' game, and all your imaginative ways of exploring and 'playing with' bits of my furniture and flat!
I thank God that altho you suffered, your pain didn't last for long, only a minute or so. I thank him too that he was with us at the time (even tho he didn't help me to save you - I don't know why this was, wee one!)
Our ten months together were SO short baby, but I thank you for all the love and and beautiful companionship that you packed into that brief time, and for making my sides ache with your crazy antics! People can't believe it when I tell them that you used to literally 'climb the walls' (and I'd help you with this mad game, remember?!!!)
I just miss you SO much Toty - even tho I know that life will pass quickly, and it won't be too long before we see each other again. I'm carrying you with me in my heart until that time comes.
Love you so much my wee darling
xxxxx
It's v frustrating that I'm not able to use smilies right now, for some reason ?!?!?
What an awful lonely place my flat is without you, my wee 'Zoombini' :-(
I so, so, so, so wish I could've done something to ease the trauma and horrible pain that you had to suffer on Tuesday night a few weeks back!
I'm so sorry I didn't and couldn't help you, my wee boy! :-(
When you started to have problems breathing, and opened your mouth to show me your throat, I know you were 'screaming' for my help :-(
I'm so sorry that I panicked and by the time I managed to get some water into your mouth, you had already left me. I just felt so helpless then and now, and I still don't know if water would've been able to lubricate your airway enough to help you breathe and to help digest the pasta. Someone has told me that putting water down your throat could have flooded your lungs :-(
I'll always regret giving you that horrible bit of pasta to eat! I was so happy about giving you one of the tasty morsels that you enjoy so much, and should've taken the time to think about what I was doing! The piece I gave you was far too big for your digestive system, I should've cut it much smaller! I know you know this, and thank you for forgiving me for all the pain I caused you by this careless moment of madness! :-( I just miss you so much, my baby - everywhere I look in the flat I see your beautiful face - you should be here! I'd do anything to have you back here with me in your home, where you belong, my little ray of sunshine ;-)
You're everywhere I go and everything I do at the moment, my baby! Yesterday I only had to look at the menu in a cafe (and read 'pesto' which is made from pine nuts, one of your favourite snacks), and my heart ached again to hold and kiss you my beautiful wee boy!
It's so special because people on this site are being touched by your photo, just as much as they used to ooh and aah over you when you were in the vets or at the hospital, remember? And I so miss our 'climbing the baskets' game, and all your imaginative ways of exploring and 'playing with' bits of my furniture and flat!
I thank God that altho you suffered, your pain didn't last for long, only a minute or so. I thank him too that he was with us at the time (even tho he didn't help me to save you - I don't know why this was, wee one!)
Our ten months together were SO short baby, but I thank you for all the love and and beautiful companionship that you packed into that brief time, and for making my sides ache with your crazy antics! People can't believe it when I tell them that you used to literally 'climb the walls' (and I'd help you with this mad game, remember?!!!)
I just miss you SO much Toty - even tho I know that life will pass quickly, and it won't be too long before we see each other again. I'm carrying you with me in my heart until that time comes.
Love you so much my wee darling
xxxxx
It's v frustrating that I'm not able to use smilies right now, for some reason ?!?!?
