A Difficult Scenario

[DZoolander]

Casey should pray that God gives him/her the conviction to act with some integrity in his/her life - and to stop being an adulterer.

 

[tall73]

Can we get back to the OP as to what Casey should pray for?

The deformity is a smokescreen. Casey was already attracted to others apart from it. Dzoolander is correct in what should be done. And perhaps once Casey is no longer fixated on others Casey can find a way to love Bobby despite lack of attractiveness.

 

[Beck Paisley]

lol

 

[Beck Paisley]

The deformity is a smokescreen. Casey was already attracted to others apart from it. Dzoolander is correct in what should be done. And perhaps once Casey is no longer fixated on others Casey can find a way to love Bobby despite lack of attractiveness.

I have no doubt Casey will love Bobby more as a person if they keep their mind off other spouses and couples. This doesn't fix anything in the bedroom however.

 

[DZoolander]

Sounds like you’ve painted a picture that cannot be fixed - and it is what it is

 

[Beck Paisley]

Sounds like you’ve painted a picture that cannot be fixed - and it is what it is

If only I were the Artist...

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

If Bobby's deformity makes Casey unattracted, then Casey needs to change his/her thinking. Those wedding vows were, in spirit if not in actual wording, forever. In sickness and in health, till death do us part. Not until deformity do us part. There's more to loving someone than finding them physically attractive. You said Bobby can still have sex. Then Casey needs to adjust. (And even if Bobby couldn't, then Casey still needs to adjust. Sex isn't all there is to marriage either.)

How should Casey pray? "Dear Father in Heaven, please help me see Bobby the way YOU see Bobby."

 

[Ana the Ist]

By definition if you are not divorced then you are not remarried. If God did not think much of the word 'married' then as you say He could have said 'Be with' or 'Live with' but He chose the word married for some reason. And so... since that word was chosen... whether they love each other for normal reasons or not.... whether they get along or are attracted to each other or not... whether God has blessed the marriage or not (which He has not obviously).... then Casey and Bobby have been commanded to stay legally together no matter what (excluding fornication).

Can we get back to the OP as to what Casey should pray for?

I guess Casey could pray for god and Bobby to be super cool about her sleeping with other guys. What exactly are you hoping for here?

I haven't seen any thread where one partner has a problem with the way the other partner thinks, feels, lusts, gets angry, gets upset, etc...and it was fixed with some prayer. It's not for a lack of trying either....lots of spouses come on here because their spouse lusts after other people. I've yet to see this get fixed with a prayer.

If Casey has mentioned that her lack of attraction is the deformity, I'm sorry. That would be difficult to hear, but try to consider that it might just be a convenient excuse. Women simply aren't as visually oriented as men...and they're more attracted to men as a whole. Each woman is different, but the general rule is that women are attracted to secure confident men who are self sufficient and...well "manly".

Is it possible that this deformity has left Bobby feeling insecure, unattractive, and unconfident in himself? If so, perhaps that is what's turning her off.

 

[Beck Paisley]

If Bobby's deformity makes Casey unattracted, then Casey needs to change his/her thinking. Those wedding vows were, in spirit if not in actual wording, forever. In sickness and in health, till death do us part. Not until deformity do us part. There's more to loving someone than finding them physically attractive. You said Bobby can still have sex. Then Casey needs to adjust. (And even if Bobby couldn't, then Casey still needs to adjust. Sex isn't all there is to marriage either.)

How should Casey pray? "Dear Father in Heaven, please help me see Bobby the way YOU see Bobby."

This would be a really weird request especially since it is dealing with sex.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

This would be a really weird request especially since it is dealing with sex.

Nothing's going to surprise God. He knows every intimate detail.

 

[Beck Paisley]

Nothing's going to surprise God. He knows every intimate detail.

I dont think God wants to have sex with Bobby. So Casey seeing Bobby the way God sees Bobby would not make Casey want to have sex with Bobby. It accomplishes nothing.

 

[Llleopard]

If Bobby's deformity makes Casey unattracted, then Casey needs to change his/her thinking. Those wedding vows were, in spirit if not in actual wording, forever. In sickness and in health, till death do us part. Not until deformity do us part. There's more to loving someone than finding them physically attractive. You said Bobby can still have sex. Then Casey needs to adjust. (And even if Bobby couldn't, then Casey still needs to adjust. Sex isn't all there is to marriage either.)

How should Casey pray? "Dear Father in Heaven, please help me see Bobby the way YOU see Bobby."

I agree that Casey really needs to be praying for strength to change their thinking and actions towards Bobby. In many parts of life, what we feel has very little to do with what actions we must perform.We have to go to work, or cook for our kids even when we are dog tired and don't feel like it or even like it much etc. If I were Casey, and wanted to rebuild a working marriage for life, I would be making a commitment to reject thoughts about others every time they start-not dwelling on them. Plan a prayer to say every time those thoughts intrude and do it hard out. And work on the sex life too - Make a resolution like 'we are married for life, so for both our sakes I will make enormous effort to keep my head focused and totally present in the moment whenever I have sex with Bobby' and pray for the strength to do that. Or at at another time 'we are married for life, so to build a healthy sex life that is satisfying to both of us I commit to initiate an intimate act with Bobby every day with enthusiasm and love.' And pray for strength to add that. One thing at a time to rebuild. Could take months of work to achieve each goal and begin to 'feel' more positive about doing it, but will eventually become a habit of mind and action.God will honor Casey's effort. Communicate honestly with each other and set goals that will help each other. Be kind to each other.