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What about Vespers? My priest holds confessions after Vespers and if people (like me) have to drive a long way, he'll do it before Liturgy also. He's pretty flexible. I'd communicate with your priest about it. It's good you have such respect for the Eucharist, but you also need to work with your priest.
That's another issue. I've been neglecting the Eucharist since it's been impossible for me to find a time to go to Confession. We usually do it before Liturgy, but because of the bus schedule the few times I do manage to make it to church I show up like thirty minutes in. I don't want to be one of those people that just shows up for communion and then leaves, especially when I haven't gone to recent Confession.
Are you able to force yourself to go once a month? Can your priest see you at home from time to time?
Maria, for what it's worth.... I also struggle with mental health issues, and depression. I am currently unable to attend an Apostolic Church, but do try to pray when I'm able.My church seems to be pretty cliquey. A lot of upper class and well-off people too it seems, thus I have nothing in common with them. That alone makes me want to stay home a lot as I feel like I'm constantly judged for being unemployed. It's not like I can say I'm on disability either since I'm not. It's very difficult to get accepted for it where I am.
As for hobbies, I'm a creative writer but not even that I'm able to enjoy much anymore. It just feels like a chore.
That's another issue. I've been neglecting the Eucharist since it's been impossible for me to find a time to go to Confession. We usually do it before Liturgy, but because of the bus schedule the few times I do manage to make it to church I show up like thirty minutes in. I don't want to be one of those people that just shows up for communion and then leaves, especially when I haven't gone to recent Confession.
By chance, have you ever been told you have OCD? (which is not rare with Asperger's) I get the impression you might also be dealing with religious scrupulosity? Do you worry about doing everything the correct way?
I sometimes wonder if Orthodox ever have such a concept as scrupulosity, especially because the anthropology and soteriology are so different. I do remember I was very intense in my focus when I attended an Orthodox church as a catechumen. But this is one of those explicit things that a priest is not necessarily going to clue you into, that most ordinary people will just know intuitively- they aren't as literal and systematizing in their thinking. People on the autism spectrum can be very literal and when somebody tells us to do something, we take it extremely seriously.
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