I'll start by trying to keep this as short as possible. I tend to ramble and create a very long post 
I'll start by saying that I am a 25 year old male who is currently single and has been single for a year and half or so now. I am a christian, but not very serious about it. I don't smoke, or drink and I have never cheated or hit a woman. I have also never tried any drugs. However, I do have my share of bad habits which include but are not limited to: Watching Porn. Masterbating, Cussing, Watching bloody movies and playing bloody video games. I also listen to all type of music from christian to death metal. I have also had sex before marriage and whatnot, so needless to say, I am not a virgin by any means. I have been engaged once and have only had a few (3 or so) serious relationships.
In March of 2006, my childhood friend and his girlfriend decided to set me and a woman on a blind date with them. I thought she was an attractive woman and we shared some interests with each other. She had never dated or been in a relationship and was/is a virgin. She was/is a christian and very serious about it. It was a very short date and I didn't think it went very well as she seemed uninterested and was quite most of the time. I called her a day or two later and felt like she was trying to brush me off so I did not call her back again. I later found out that she was just very nervous on the date and that when I called, I got her at a bad time and shortly after she had lost her phone and my number so she was unable to call me back. Somehow we ran back into each other which is when I found all this out.
We have talked on and off since 2006 and have hung out a couple of times as well. We had periods where we would talk every day for long periods at a time, and had times where we didn't talk for weeks or months at a time. We had talked about going on dates and whatnot, but never did. We also have spend a lot (and I do mean a lot) of time talking about our differences to each other and trying to work past them. This would sometimes cause us to stop talking for a bit because we are both stuburn and we each refused to change or make adjustments, but for some reason we eventually started talking again. I have had several moments where I would say to myself "Why am I still doing this with this woman" and I even had friends/family ask me the same thing.
She IM'ed me out of the blue a couple of days ago (the last time we had talked was back in January or Febuary) and told me that she had been thinking about me and had been wondering what would've happened if we had become involved with each other in the past and asked if I wanted to meet her for coffee soon. I agree'd on meeting at her college coffee shop on Wednesday for coffee. We've been talking pretty much all day long for the past few days, once again about our differences. She pretty much put the "rules" in black/white. She stated that she will not have sex before marriage, will not get engaged until at least a year of dating and will not marry until 3-6 months after being engaged. She also stated she I must meet all her close friends and get their "approval" before we become a "couple. She has said that she wants to take things slow and be careful. She also stated that she won't take any road trips (vacations and whatnot) until after we are married. She had also stated that she wants her relationship built around god and wants to be with a man who is the same way. I explained to her that I am willing to work on trying to build a relationship with each other and that I will not force her into doing anything she doesn't want to do.
I pretty much explained to her that I have been single for a year and half now and that I haven't exactly been in a hurry myself. I had explained to her that I grew up in a christian family and have always wanted my family to be circled around god but have never been motovated enough to get involved into church and whatnot. I also explain to her that the reason why most of my past relationships could be because I have moved too fast and that I even had friends/family tell me that I have moved too fast in the past. I explained to her that I am willing to work with her on her "rules" if she is willing to help me become closer to god as she is. I'm sure this sounds like a lot of "changes" just to even date a person, but I feel that these changes could make me a better person than I am and deep down I know she is a good person and a person I could see myself with.
I have always been comfortable talking to her (except on the first date) and we always are able to keep the converstation flowing smoothly. I also feel as if she is a person I can trust and depend on and that she's an overall good person. She wouldn't be the type of person who would cheat and is the type of person once married will stay married. She is also very involved in her church and youth groups there.
So... here we are. We have an "offical" date for Wednesday at the coffee shop, just the two of us. She has also stated that she wants me to start meeting her friends and getting to know them as well. We are both excited to see where this goes, but also very nervous as well.
In the past, I have always jumped into relationships. I have even gone as far as having sex on the first date. In the past, I have became engaged just a few short months after meeting the person. I have a history of going "too fast" in a relationship. As of now, I am trying to get my life back on track after being laid off for over a year so I am still trying to get my money situation in order. I feel that it might actually be a good thing to move slow that way I can still focus on my own problems without being too distracted by a relationship. I have also been hurt a lot in the past so I still have a guard up as well.
However, my biggest concern is our reglion differences. I have never been very close to god and am nothing like she is in that aspect. She is very serious into church and whatnot whereas I never have been. As a child I did used to go to church on a lot of Sunday's, but as I got older I have pulled far away. I'm not saying that I don't want to get close to god again, but I am saying that it is going to be very hard for me to make those type of changes.
Okay, now to my question... am I going too far out of my way to get involved with her? As I said, deep down I know she is a good person and deep down, I know this is the type of relationship that I need in my life. However, am I making a mistake by getting involved with her due to our current differences and because our communication has always been "on-off" over the past several years? I'm really like to hear your thoughts and input on this situation.
I'm sorry for the long post, but thanks for taking the time to read through all this. Thanks in advance for your help and support.
I'll start by saying that I am a 25 year old male who is currently single and has been single for a year and half or so now. I am a christian, but not very serious about it. I don't smoke, or drink and I have never cheated or hit a woman. I have also never tried any drugs. However, I do have my share of bad habits which include but are not limited to: Watching Porn. Masterbating, Cussing, Watching bloody movies and playing bloody video games. I also listen to all type of music from christian to death metal. I have also had sex before marriage and whatnot, so needless to say, I am not a virgin by any means. I have been engaged once and have only had a few (3 or so) serious relationships.
In March of 2006, my childhood friend and his girlfriend decided to set me and a woman on a blind date with them. I thought she was an attractive woman and we shared some interests with each other. She had never dated or been in a relationship and was/is a virgin. She was/is a christian and very serious about it. It was a very short date and I didn't think it went very well as she seemed uninterested and was quite most of the time. I called her a day or two later and felt like she was trying to brush me off so I did not call her back again. I later found out that she was just very nervous on the date and that when I called, I got her at a bad time and shortly after she had lost her phone and my number so she was unable to call me back. Somehow we ran back into each other which is when I found all this out.
We have talked on and off since 2006 and have hung out a couple of times as well. We had periods where we would talk every day for long periods at a time, and had times where we didn't talk for weeks or months at a time. We had talked about going on dates and whatnot, but never did. We also have spend a lot (and I do mean a lot) of time talking about our differences to each other and trying to work past them. This would sometimes cause us to stop talking for a bit because we are both stuburn and we each refused to change or make adjustments, but for some reason we eventually started talking again. I have had several moments where I would say to myself "Why am I still doing this with this woman" and I even had friends/family ask me the same thing.
She IM'ed me out of the blue a couple of days ago (the last time we had talked was back in January or Febuary) and told me that she had been thinking about me and had been wondering what would've happened if we had become involved with each other in the past and asked if I wanted to meet her for coffee soon. I agree'd on meeting at her college coffee shop on Wednesday for coffee. We've been talking pretty much all day long for the past few days, once again about our differences. She pretty much put the "rules" in black/white. She stated that she will not have sex before marriage, will not get engaged until at least a year of dating and will not marry until 3-6 months after being engaged. She also stated she I must meet all her close friends and get their "approval" before we become a "couple. She has said that she wants to take things slow and be careful. She also stated that she won't take any road trips (vacations and whatnot) until after we are married. She had also stated that she wants her relationship built around god and wants to be with a man who is the same way. I explained to her that I am willing to work on trying to build a relationship with each other and that I will not force her into doing anything she doesn't want to do.
I pretty much explained to her that I have been single for a year and half now and that I haven't exactly been in a hurry myself. I had explained to her that I grew up in a christian family and have always wanted my family to be circled around god but have never been motovated enough to get involved into church and whatnot. I also explain to her that the reason why most of my past relationships could be because I have moved too fast and that I even had friends/family tell me that I have moved too fast in the past. I explained to her that I am willing to work with her on her "rules" if she is willing to help me become closer to god as she is. I'm sure this sounds like a lot of "changes" just to even date a person, but I feel that these changes could make me a better person than I am and deep down I know she is a good person and a person I could see myself with.
I have always been comfortable talking to her (except on the first date) and we always are able to keep the converstation flowing smoothly. I also feel as if she is a person I can trust and depend on and that she's an overall good person. She wouldn't be the type of person who would cheat and is the type of person once married will stay married. She is also very involved in her church and youth groups there.
So... here we are. We have an "offical" date for Wednesday at the coffee shop, just the two of us. She has also stated that she wants me to start meeting her friends and getting to know them as well. We are both excited to see where this goes, but also very nervous as well.
In the past, I have always jumped into relationships. I have even gone as far as having sex on the first date. In the past, I have became engaged just a few short months after meeting the person. I have a history of going "too fast" in a relationship. As of now, I am trying to get my life back on track after being laid off for over a year so I am still trying to get my money situation in order. I feel that it might actually be a good thing to move slow that way I can still focus on my own problems without being too distracted by a relationship. I have also been hurt a lot in the past so I still have a guard up as well.
However, my biggest concern is our reglion differences. I have never been very close to god and am nothing like she is in that aspect. She is very serious into church and whatnot whereas I never have been. As a child I did used to go to church on a lot of Sunday's, but as I got older I have pulled far away. I'm not saying that I don't want to get close to god again, but I am saying that it is going to be very hard for me to make those type of changes.
Okay, now to my question... am I going too far out of my way to get involved with her? As I said, deep down I know she is a good person and deep down, I know this is the type of relationship that I need in my life. However, am I making a mistake by getting involved with her due to our current differences and because our communication has always been "on-off" over the past several years? I'm really like to hear your thoughts and input on this situation.
I'm sorry for the long post, but thanks for taking the time to read through all this.
Thanks in advance for your help and support.
