So far the father has left me alone. He tried to get me to come over to his home one day and I just couldn’t find the peace to do it. The worst part about it is I TRIED to make it work. Even though this man hurt me, I still loved him and cared for him. After he stole my money and stole from my father, I still tried to walk in love but I wont lie, he always finds a way to make me 
. He would say the most rudest and ignorant things when I say no to him (when he realizes I don’t want to be with him at all)....
Being pregnant forces you to look at yourself in the mirror and say hmm? I'm just as broken and I’m destroying this baby and myself by not doing the right things. I just know I am heartbroken but I don’t want my child to suffer for the decisions I made. So I need deliverance from smoking and I pray that the Lord will protect him/her from my foolishness. I stopped and I want to be happy about this baby, but I cry more than anything...
I don’t know how to get past the fact that I didn’t even want to be with him and out of all the men I WANTED TO BE with, I couldn’t conceive if I drew it on paper.
It just hurts and everyone say quit thinking about yourself...well this baby is me...he/she is living in me now and will part from me but its still ME. Whatever I do will make or break this child...I cant keep living the same life I was before. I have realized that not only have I hurt myself but God. I am flawed and I don’t know where to go to find peace.
I ended up quitting my job. The job that pays almost twice as much I get for being a teacher and you know what..I don’t care about the money. I don’t care about having nice things...I just want my baby and I to be healthy and wholesome children of God. I just want God and I need to find a place of peace to work at.
I wanted to be in love with the man I had my child by. I want to be able to call him and tell him how I feel our little 11 week fetus flutters. Of stead I am alone and I choose to be alone. If I wanted, Devin (the father) would be right here.
It scares me because all the things that I wanted to do before I get pregnant is long gone now, I wanted to make sure I am in right standing with God. I know I can still do that but it just baffles me that God has given me this child in the worst times imaginable. I'm going to have to teach him/her to be strong from an early age. This baby is soooo anointed its a blessing that God thought I would be good enough to have this baby.
I feel better and its comforting to see the weeks go by without no bad news. Its just still new to me, im scared that my bad habits may of hurt the baby, but I pray that the Lord protects him/her.
I appreciate everyone who has read my posts concerning this. Out of all of this the main thing I want is for Devin soul to be saved and at peace...
. He would say the most rudest and ignorant things when I say no to him (when he realizes I don’t want to be with him at all)....Being pregnant forces you to look at yourself in the mirror and say hmm? I'm just as broken and I’m destroying this baby and myself by not doing the right things. I just know I am heartbroken but I don’t want my child to suffer for the decisions I made. So I need deliverance from smoking and I pray that the Lord will protect him/her from my foolishness. I stopped and I want to be happy about this baby, but I cry more than anything...
I don’t know how to get past the fact that I didn’t even want to be with him and out of all the men I WANTED TO BE with, I couldn’t conceive if I drew it on paper.
It just hurts and everyone say quit thinking about yourself...well this baby is me...he/she is living in me now and will part from me but its still ME. Whatever I do will make or break this child...I cant keep living the same life I was before. I have realized that not only have I hurt myself but God. I am flawed and I don’t know where to go to find peace.
I ended up quitting my job. The job that pays almost twice as much I get for being a teacher and you know what..I don’t care about the money. I don’t care about having nice things...I just want my baby and I to be healthy and wholesome children of God. I just want God and I need to find a place of peace to work at.
I wanted to be in love with the man I had my child by. I want to be able to call him and tell him how I feel our little 11 week fetus flutters. Of stead I am alone and I choose to be alone. If I wanted, Devin (the father) would be right here.
It scares me because all the things that I wanted to do before I get pregnant is long gone now, I wanted to make sure I am in right standing with God. I know I can still do that but it just baffles me that God has given me this child in the worst times imaginable. I'm going to have to teach him/her to be strong from an early age. This baby is soooo anointed its a blessing that God thought I would be good enough to have this baby.
I feel better and its comforting to see the weeks go by without no bad news. Its just still new to me, im scared that my bad habits may of hurt the baby, but I pray that the Lord protects him/her.
I appreciate everyone who has read my posts concerning this. Out of all of this the main thing I want is for Devin soul to be saved and at peace...
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PRAYING
