What am I doing wrong?

Codi Weston · Tuesday at 10:23 PM

Hi all.

I've prayed for salvation, "accepted" Jesus as my savior in my head, asked to be changed, asked to be saved from sin, etc, almost each day for the past 21 years. Not much has changed over 21 years.

What am I doing wrong?

Thanks in advance.

PloverWing · Tuesday at 11:22 PM

It sounds like you're quite thoroughly saved. Jesus died for you, you've accepted his salvation, all good. Now it's time to get on with the business of sanctification.

Sanctification is a work that God does in us, but we don't just sit around passively waiting for it to happen. The Catholic tradition has a good phrase describing the Christian life, "cooperation with grace". God does God's work, but we also do things to make ourselves more open to God's work in us.

Can I ask about your regular spiritual disciplines? These are different for different people (personalities, etc.), but might include daily prayer, regular Bible study, reading of theological or devotional books, volunteering at a homeless shelter or a food pantry, participating in one of your church's community ministries, and so forth. What spiritual practices do you follow on a regular basis, and which ones seem best at helping you love God and your neighbor?

Mark Quayle · Wednesday at 12:37 AM

The "how to" is an endless list. Mockingly long and impossible to master. I suggest scrapping the whole notion. Instead of trying to incorporate what you hope will do the job, start concentrating on God himself. Read to find out how Jesus did it, if you must, and learn of him and you will find rest for your soul.

This life is for God, not us. We belong to him and not to ourselves. What's more, there's nothing good you can do apart from him. Learn what it means to be "in Christ". Salvation isn't "accepting him" —that's fellowship. Salvation is God's doing. It is grace and not a result of anything we can say or do. It is not a decision. And it does not depend on your performance or self-assessment.

But I find it entirely biblical and practical that the believer can't help but desire holiness. The madness of trying to control one's life while being driven to do what one does so mocks one that they despair of ever having more than temporary relief of guilt —it has always been so. But knowing that good only comes from God, and that whatever he takes you through in this life is for HIS sake, and his glory. He is making of you what he had in mind from the beginning, and it is not what you thought, but what you need to be, for HIS sake. It is not done how the modern church would have you to think. The only righteousness in you is HIS righteousness. He would rather you come to know him, than for you to assuage your guilt or 'live victoriously' on some scale you presuppose. Thank him for every smallest victory.

Even the privilege of being allowed to watch him work is more than one can ask. Knowing that HE is delighted with what he is making is enough to eclipse the fear of hell.

chevyontheriver · Wednesday at 12:42 AM

I don't know that you're doing anything wrong. We don't always "feel" what is real inside of us. And sometimes we just carry on without "feelings". That can be OK.

Just a few questions:
Have you been baptized?
Have you "accepted" Jesus as your Lord and king and the ruler of your life?
Do you know Jesus, love Jesus, and serve Jesus, all three?

peter2 · Wednesday at 6:07 AM

i understand your concern.
For me its origin lies in Mt 5 48 :

The more often i voluntarily forget this verse, for i find it inaccessible to observe.
All i may bear testimony to is i feel some progress in my behaviors, thanks, i believe, to grace, God, but also Mary, the Church, my brethren, CF, the saints, etc.., but after i've long been in your situation.
Another source for hope is i've the feeling material world's concern starts to fade. It looks to me like people are growing more spiritual, in good or in evil

d taylor · Wednesday at 7:30 AM

-

Probably because you are playing the church salvation game. None of what you list as doing. Is stated in The Bible as what a person must do to receive God's free gift of Eternal Life.

The Bible states to simply believe in Jesus (the person) for Eternal Life (God's free gift). When you believe in Jesus for Eternal Life, at the very moment of belief in Jesus. A person becomes a permanent born again child of God.

How many times does God need to say it in The Bible for you to believe it.

John 1:12 But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name:
------------------
John 3:14,15 And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.
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John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
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John 3:17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.
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John 3:18 “He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is
condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only
begotten Son of God.
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John 3:36 He who believes in the Son has everlasting life; and he who does not believe the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him.”
------------------
John 5:24 “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life.
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John 6: 27,28,29 Do not labor for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to everlasting life, which the Son of Man will give you, because God the Father has set His seal on Him.”
Then they said to Him, “What shall we do, that we may work the works of God?”
Jesus answered and said to them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He sent.”
------------------
John 6:47 Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believe in Me has everlasting life.
------------------
John 11:25,26,27
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?”
She said to Him, “Yes, Lord, I believe that You are the Christ, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.”
------------------
John 20:31
but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name.

Maria Billingsley · Wednesday at 8:08 AM

Have you received His Holy Spirit? This is our Foundation. It is He who lives in us , regenerates us and leads us into all righteousness. Do you love Jesus Christ of Nazareth with all your heart, soul and mind? He said this in John 14:23:

"If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him."

He makes His Home in us through His Holy Spirit. The flesh is weak but the Spirit is willing. And above all, do not doubt , this will quench His Holy Spirit.

Be blessed.

PloverWing · Wednesday at 10:28 AM

@Codi Weston : I've been taking for granted that you're an active part of a church community -- that you've been baptized, that you attend church most Sundays, that you receive Communion as often as your church offers it, and that you're connected with something like Sunday School or a small group ministry or a Bible study group at your church. If you're not yet part of a church community, then that's an obvious place to start.

2PhiloVoid · Wednesday at 12:30 PM

You're not doing anything wrong. You're just doing what all the rest of are doing: living in a fallen world.

throughfierytrial · Wednesday at 5:47 PM

Have you read the Scriptures and tried
to put it into practice? Listening to the Word? Sermons and testimonials? All are a gold mine!

Jesus says we are to observe whatsoever He has commanded… build on the Rock, etc
We fall short and are in need of daily repentance.
Scriptures say:in Galatians 6:9
Do not grow weary in doing good and at the proper time you will reap a harvest. (Paraphrase)

Stay strong you’ll reap a harvest… you may not be recognizing your personal spiritual growth.

Mark Quayle · Wednesday at 8:18 PM

Amen that! In the end we are not our own judges. God is making of us what he has in mind for us THERE (not just here). It probably doesn't look like what anyone thought they wanted.

timf · Friday at 7:33 AM

What am I doing wrong?

Sometimes Christianity is sort of presented as a magical transformation. Often the new Christian is unaware that the transition from the old nature to the new nature requires a decrease in walking by the flesh (selfishness) and in increase in walking by the Spirit (the selfless love of Christ)

2Co 5:15 And that he died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again.

Sabertooth · Friday at 11:21 AM

@Codi Weston,

Are you going to an edifying church?
Do you have a pastor you can bring these questions to?

Lukaris · Friday at 3:28 PM

On a personal level, I believe it is a basic matter of living life by faith ( Romans 1:17), since it is by grace we are saved ( Ephesians 2:8-10), which is what the Lord tells us in John 3:16-21. We are saved by grace and our works are how we live by faith ( sticking to the program, so to say) which is what St. Paul explains to us in Romans 13:1-14.

If we notice verses 8-10 in Romans 13, these echo what the Lord told the rich young man in verses 16-19 within His discussion with the rich young man in Matthew 19:16-31. Romans 13 gives us an important, basic explanation while Galatians 3:1-29 gives us a more spiritual, full explanation.

The Lord gives us basic instruction to be charitable ( Matthew 6:1-4) & to pray ( Matthew 6:5-13). If we are poor, then we can still pray for our selves and our neighbor ( refer back to the Lord’s Prayer, His commandments per Matthew 22:36-40, Matthew 7:12 per Matthew 7:1-12, Matthew 9:36-38, 1 Timothy 2:1-6 etc.).

It has been around 20 years for me since I realized my soul needed salvation. I still have sinful, fallen shortcomings in my attitude which I know I need to take stock of ( 1 John 1:5-10). I always try to remember the Lord’s lesson to not exalt myself & trust in His mercy ( Luke 18:9-14).

chevyontheriver · Saturday at 10:23 AM

Has Codi Weston responded yet to any of the posts to him?

Lukaris · Saturday at 1:26 PM

Don’t know.

RileyG · 2026-01-18T22:56:58-0600

God is faithful. Feeling come and go, they do not define our salvation or our relationship with him. Trust in his mercy and Providence!

Blessings!

RileyG · 2026-01-18T22:58:00-0600

Amen, brother!

Sabertooth · 2026-01-19T04:12:15-0600

He has not been back since posting the OP.

Sabertooth · 2026-01-19T10:56:53-0600

@Codi Weston, nothing is going to improve for you if all you do is these "hit & run" posts and never act on the advice offered.

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