What is currently on your mind?

Michie · Dec 22, 2025

Trying to spend a benefits card before December 31st for my mom. It was one of her husband’s retirement benefits and she forgot to use it till the last minute. Not fun. The site says they cover items then you go into the store and it’s not covered because of a coding issue or whatever. Ugh! Almost got it spent. Got to try again tomorrow and hopefully, get it done. I know one thing, she is not going to have to get adult diapers for a long time. Lol

Paidiske · Dec 22, 2025

timothyu said:
Funny how some will say a death ruins Christmas for them and in years to come.. Personally I would think what we call Christmas these days would be the last thing on my mind.

For a lot of people, Christmas means family connections (and for a lot of people, that's one of the primary sources of their sense of identity and meaning in life). So grief at Christmas becomes especially sharp and difficult.

RileyG · Dec 22, 2025

Paidiske said:
For a lot of people, Christmas means family connections (and for a lot of people, that's one of the primary sources of their sense of identity and meaning in life). So grief at Christmas becomes especially sharp and difficult.

Especially if it happens around this season!

My grandmother died December 23, 2004. Her funeral was December 27, 2004. First funeral I attended ever.

I still think of her every Christmas, she would stay with us. (She had 11 children, 4 are now deceased, and my dad was #10 out of #11.)

timothyu · Dec 22, 2025

Paidiske said:
So grief at Christmas becomes especially sharp and difficult.

I agree but don't understand why some regret losing
Christmas more. Values?

Michie · Dec 22, 2025

I don’t see where @Paidiske said they regret losing Christmas more.

timothyu · Dec 22, 2025

Michie said:
I don’t see where @Paidiske said they regret losing Christmas more.

She didn't

Michie · Dec 22, 2025

timothyu said:
She didn't

So why did you say that? :scratch:

timothyu · Dec 22, 2025

Michie said:
So why did you say that?

Because it occurred to me, having run into people who blame their loved ones for ruining Christmas for them, the secular holiday, by dying. I would think losing the person would be more important

Michie · Dec 22, 2025

timothyu said:
Because it occurred to me, having run into people who blame their loved ones for ruining Christmas for them, the secular holiday, by dying. I would think losing the person would be more important

I think you are not reading the room. Christmas may not be the same for those left behind for those that grieve them and have memories of past Christmas’ with them. Anyway… *shrug* take it as you will. Christmas is about celebrating the Lord coming into the world but yeah, there is a lot of secularism too. I love the holiday myself. It very sentimental for many.

Paidiske · Dec 22, 2025

timothyu said:
I agree but don't understand why some regret losing
Christmas more. Values?

timothyu said:
Because it occurred to me, having run into people who blame their loved ones for ruining Christmas for them, the secular holiday, by dying. I would think losing the person would be more important

I don't think it's that they regret losing Christmas. I think it's that experiencing Christmas in a way that's out of step with the mainstream emotions - not merry, not jolly, not joyful, but grieving - brings that grief into sharper focus. Makes it harder, the pain more poignant. "Blue Christmas" services can be really pastorally important for that reason.

Robban · Dec 23, 2025

timothyu said:
Because it occurred to me, having run into people who blame their loved ones for ruining Christmas for them, the secular holiday, by dying. I would think losing the person would be more important

FWIW, some just want to be left alone, all wellmeaning condolences disturb their thoughts,, in some circles it is usual not to
speak with the grieving one unless the grieving one speaks first, for a whole week.

When Aarons two sons died in fire, Moses spoke, Aaron was silent,

Robban · Dec 23, 2025

The Liturgist · Dec 23, 2025

Paidiske said:
It's Christmas Eve eve, and I'm pondering hope. And what hope looks like for people facing death, severe illness, diminished capacity, and loneliness this week.

Thank you. This is what I admire about you. You consistently demonstrate a real concern for people, a genuine compassion. We may not always agree on doctrine, but I will always support you for this virtue, which is true Christianity.

The Liturgist · Dec 23, 2025

Paidiske said:
For a lot of people, Christmas means family connections (and for a lot of people, that's one of the primary sources of their sense of identity and meaning in life). So grief at Christmas becomes especially sharp and difficult.

That is so terribly true. Actually one reason I switched to a Julian calendar parish was to separate the feast of the Nativity from the baggage associated with Christmas on the Gregorian calendar.

Robban · Dec 23, 2025

There is no" one size fits all".

Something for everyone and every life situation.

2 Samuel 12:22-23

Tuur · Dec 23, 2025

Paidiske said:
I don't think it's that they regret losing Christmas. I think it's that experiencing Christmas in a way that's out of step with the mainstream emotions - not merry, not jolly, not joyful, but grieving - brings that grief into sharper focus. Makes it harder, the pain more poignant. "Blue Christmas" services can be really pastorally important for that reason.

I can't say that I regret losing Christmas. I wish it was a joyful time for me, but that's not regret, and even in childhood it was an effort to try to make it brighter. A large part are those who've gone on, and concern for some family members. This year we have no Christmas tree, and a large part of that is my mother-in-law died just a few weeks ago. But regret? No. It just is. And the last thing I want is for that to ruin Christmas for others.

Tuur · Dec 24, 2025

An odd family Christmas tradition: sharpening a pocket knife. It goes back to when we reused wrapping paper until it was worn out. We'd use a sharp knife to cut the tape and carefully unwrap the gift. It also proved handy for opening factory sealed boxes, but the main reason was to save wrapping paper.

It's been decades since those days. I don't know if anyone saves wrapping paper anymore. We still save bows and gift bags for reuse, but we seldom need a knife to cut tape anymore. But this Christmas Eve I've been sharpening the clip blade on my pocket knife. It needed it anyway, and, well, it doesn't seem like Christmas without it.

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