Give "Bad" Advice (3)

public hermit · Jul 13, 2023

Probably the best thing to do is frame your question in such a way that it allows for one to give bad advice. Oh wait, that's good advice. Sorry.

I just realized I have ten toes but don't seem to use them all. Any advice for using all my toes?

LovebirdsFlying · Jul 14, 2023

Threaten to prune them if they don't pull their load. Works for tree branches.

Speaking of trees, how can I make my Japanese Maple happy?

public hermit · Jul 14, 2023

Japanese Maples love Zen koans. Just stand in front of it and repeat, "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" and watch it flourish.

How can I be certain my hands exist?

Chesterton · Jul 14, 2023

Place your hands flat on a table and ask a good friend to smash them with a hammer. If you feel intense, mind-numbing pain, they probably exist.

How can I get my 1982 Ford Pinto to go 200 m.p.h.?

public hermit · Jul 14, 2023

Jack up the horn and change the car.

How can I encourage my neighbor to be less annoying, less neighborly, really.

Chesterton · Jul 16, 2023

Well you can't, but you can build a Berlin Wall.

How can I get out of jury duty?

Yusuphhai · Jul 21, 2023

be a criminal.

How can I know I am not a criminal?

public hermit · Jul 23, 2023

Get thrown in jail for the first time. You're new, and you'll know it.

How can I avoid jail?

Chesterton · Jul 24, 2023

Just resist arrest. What's the worst that could happen?

How can I entertain myself on this long, boring plane flight?

Yusuphhai · Jul 28, 2023

be a good servant of CF.

How can I break down the net work blocking in my local place and visit CF?

Chesterton · Jul 28, 2023

Call the Geek Squad.

How can I get the lid off this pickle jar?

Gidgx · Jul 28, 2023

I have this problem due to arthritis. I usually break the seal by taking a knife to it.
I'm told there are devices that can open it for you now. Haven't tried them myself.

How to open the door

Chesterton · Aug 8, 2023

Use an improvised explosive device.

How to fry an egg?

Carrilynn · Sep 3, 2023

I suggest you cook your eggs using a hair dryer while riding in the back of a pickup truck in the sizzling hot summer sun.

I need advice, I have too many socks with holes.

Chesterton · Sep 9, 2023

In winter, use them as fingerless mittens.

How do I ask my boss for a raise?

public hermit · Sep 3, 2025

Do it with a gun. That usually brings out the generosity in folks.

I can't afford a lawyer, and I need one. Any suggestions?

Yusuphhai · Sep 3, 2025

go to a lawless country,for example, North Korea, where lawyer is useless.

how can i go to U.S or U.K. or Israel by my girlfriend’s background of British education？

LovebirdsFlying · Sep 4, 2025

Stuff yourself in her suitcase.

What's the best way to get stains off a tile countertop?

Chesterton · Sep 6, 2025

There's an old trick musicians use - if you're performing a song in front of people and you make a mistake, when you come to that part of the song again, make the same mistake. People will think you're doing in on purpose. Apply the same principle here. Let the entire countertop get stained, and eventually it will look like it's supposed to look that way.

How can I get my cat to stop staring at me?

Sam91 · Sep 6, 2025

It's waiting for you to rub its tummy!

What are you waiting for?

How to make oneself do chores?

Give "Bad" Advice (3)

social troglodyte

My husband drew this cartoon of me.

social troglodyte

Whats So Funny bout Peace Love and Understanding

social troglodyte

Whats So Funny bout Peace Love and Understanding

Messianic Arabic-Semitic Chinese

social troglodyte

Whats So Funny bout Peace Love and Understanding

Messianic Arabic-Semitic Chinese

Whats So Funny bout Peace Love and Understanding

Truth Seeker

Whats So Funny bout Peace Love and Understanding

Active Member

Whats So Funny bout Peace Love and Understanding

social troglodyte

Messianic Arabic-Semitic Chinese

My husband drew this cartoon of me.

Whats So Funny bout Peace Love and Understanding

Child of the Living God

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