My main thing is socialisation &
You seem to have some understanding of living as a Christian, and you are able to admit you have a problem. And the basic thing is to depend on God to correct us and have us finding out how to love so we can socialize the right way.
Hebrews 12:4-14 says to actively seek our Father for His real correction; and with His correction we share with Him in His holiness and His love's "peaceable fruit of righteousness". And God says to do this; so yes God is committed to doing this with every one of us who are children of God.
So, do not trust any excuses. And do not trust how feelings of failure would have us accepting less.
For quite a while I thought I was great and everyone needed to meet with me so I could straighten everyone out. To say the least, my socializing did not go very well. And I could be criticizing others for not accepting and loving me, when I was my main real problem.
And, of course, plenty of others also do not know how to love; so I was foolish to expect genuine love from ruined people.
It helped me to see how my criticizing and getting hurt and crybabying about not getting attention and praise was not loving those people like Jesus wants.
But I would say God has been getting through to me and correcting me so I can genuinely love people. And there are a lot of things in the Bible that can help us
Plus, we have example people to feed us how to become and how to love. At times I met people who were gentle and humble and they knew how to handle me. I could see how they were kind and not conceited though they were for real and mature while I wasn't. They were how I needed and need to become.
The real ones do not look down on us or guilt-trip us because of our failures. So we need, then, to join our good example people who have hope for anyone and are not conceited about being more mature than we are.
So, basically I would say feed on God's word and depend on Him to have you do what His word means. Don't give up on anything in His word; because it is possible with Him.
And share with people who are good examples of how God's word says to be and to love.
And do not be afraid of anyone. Many do not know how to love. This is why they can hurt us, cheat us, and fail us. There are ones with character making them ok about killing unborn people; and so with such character of course they can betray people and ruin things. And we can give in to being afraid of such politicians and family members. Do not be afraid of evil people. We with God can help any person.
God is committed to making prayer work > 1 Timothy 2:1-4.
You be their example; God does use example > 1 Peter 5:3, 1 Peter 3:1-4.
"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)
And pray with hope for impossible people, for all that is possible with God. You in Jesus are the one who can help any wrong person.
So . . . in prayer I can prepare so I am ready to love any person. It is like how Jesus was first in Heaven's way of love, and so He was able and ready to come here and love every person.
There were ones ready for Jesus so they could relate well with Him. But others needed a lot of help and so many refused Him. But He always was ready for close sharing with anyone who could share with Him. And He told wrong people what could help them.
So, how you relate in your mind with people is important. How you socialize inside yourself during prayer can help you for how to relate with people when you actually meet with them.
There are people who seem so great, but they are not submissive to God. They are not deeply and emotionally gentle and quiet and resting in Jesus Christ's "rest for your souls." (in Matthew 11:28-30) So, just because people act nice and friendly and socially great, this does not have to mean they know how to love.
So, please do not compare yourself with other people's outward show. But pray to be God's way and able to help any person to find out how to love, in case others aren't as great as they seem to be and might think they are so great.
There are trained and socially skillful ministers who need help. You with Jesus can help anyone.
prayer and example
God's word . . . including >
"let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me" (in Luke 9:23)
"And I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I am loved." (2 Corinthians 12:15)
People can love us less and less, because they do not know how to love. But if we do not deny ourselves and die to self, we also can have problems. In selfish ways of loving we can let others have power over us to keep us from loving and forgiving them. But Paul kept growing in Jesus so that Paul loved others more and more beautifully and abundantly while they got even worse.
So, have compassion ready so when you find out the real truth about anyone, you keep loving that person and have hope for any impossible person > love "hopes all things" (in 1 Corinthians 13:7). And encourage people to do better, as is possible with God. Do not give up on anyone . . . including yourself.
