Women when you first started dating as a Christians was it hard to tell if a man was interested or not while dating ?

QuestionQuest74 · Dec 8, 2023

Alot of women in the world get validation from sex and alot of physical affection.
I was wondering was it hard to tell the interest level of a Christian man when a women becomes a Christian and becomes celibate and has boundaries ?
Have any Christian women experienced this before in their early years as a Christian ?

DragonFox91 · Dec 8, 2023

It shouldn't if the man is doing it right. There's a LOT more ways to show you're interested then physical affection.

"Early years" as a Christian doesn't make a difference. You're in the Spirit or you're not. There is no middle-ground.

QuestionQuest74 · Dec 8, 2023

DragonFox91 said:
It shouldn't if the man is doing it right. There's a LOT more ways to show you're interested then physical affection.

"Early years" as a Christian doesn't make a difference. You're in the Spirit or you're not. There is no middle-ground.

What should he be doing right ?

peaceful-forest · Dec 8, 2023

I don't have much experience with Christian men. I know I had unpleasant experiences. Here's my experiences:

There was one single guy at church when I was first saved. Two other women were interested in him. He didn't pick me and he didn't pick the one whom I call "the female version of David" (because she loved God so much). He picked a woman that had previously been married and had had a child outside of marriage.
I tried Christian dating apps later. There were three guys I talked to.
- One guy quit talking to me after I wouldn't post a picture of myself, which is understandable; I didn't post a picture because of my low self-esteem and my weight problem; my weight problem was always a top reason why guys didn't date me before salvation.
- One guy ended up blocking me after we had chatted for awhile. I thought things were going great. I think he had a mental problem.
- One guy lost some interest in me until I brought up meeting him in real life. After that happened, he ghosted me.

I didn't date Christian guys after that. But I did have an experience with a non-Christian that made me feel loved. He didn't show me love in a physical way. He selected a few things and repeatedly told me what he liked about me. But he ended up being a player and I've questioned whether the things he said about me were genuine.

ThisIsMe123 · Dec 8, 2023

QuestionQuest74 said:
Alot of women in the world get validation from sex and alot of physical affection.
I was wondering was it hard to tell the interest level of a Christian man when a women becomes a Christian and becomes celibate and has boundaries ?
Have any Christian women experienced this before in their early years as a Christian ?

Wow, it's been a while since I've seen a dating related post here in the SIngles section.

Citanul · Dec 8, 2023

I'm not a woman, but the way I can tell that a woman is interested in me is that we're in regular contact, she'll reply to my texts with more than just one-liners and will also initiate conversations, and she's an active participant in arranging to get together and doesn't just leave it up to me to suggest everything. I would imagine that women would want the same sort of thing from men, and these are really some basic fundamentals of dating that actually have nothing to with whether the person is Christian or not.

And while this isn't necessarily a foolproof method, if you have to ask whether someone's interested in you (once you've moved past the very early stages) then there's a good chance that they're not.

ThisIsMe123 · Dec 9, 2023

-I would imagine that women would want the same sort of thing from men, and these are really some basic fundamentals of dating that actually have nothing to with whether the person is Christian or not.-

Right, when it comes to finding someone, some seem to put too much weight on them being Christian, when really it's about compability in many other ways. Like character, personality, attraction, how you're treated, communication and so forth...and religion is put further down the ladder below them.

timewerx · Dec 9, 2023

QuestionQuest74 said:
Alot of women in the world get validation from sex and alot of physical affection.
I was wondering was it hard to tell the interest level of a Christian man when a women becomes a Christian and becomes celibate and has boundaries ?
Have any Christian women experienced this before in their early years as a Christian ?

Why do you wish to know if women can read a man who might be pretending to be interested?

I think it's wrong to make a woman think you're interested when you're not during a date.

Not all dates are going to be great. Some will see rejection and this is understandable. We can do our best to be polite, civil, even classy, but at the end of the date, we should make our intentions clear but not too clear if you know I mean like it should end in a positive note.

It's a lot worse to lead a woman on when you're not really interested.

ReesePiece23 · Dec 9, 2023

Sex and physical affection count for very little. Texting frequency, message content and "words" - count for virtually nothing.

It's all in the acts of service, the "little things" that he remembers about you, and the degree to which he lets his guard down around you. Its not so much the primary elements that give him away, it's the secondary and tertiary ones that you have to look out for.

If you're locked out of your house at 11pm on a Sunday, and he turns up to help you figure a way out, then you know for sure he's yours.

Acts of service don't lie. That's where the common denominator is.

QuestionQuest74 · Dec 9, 2023

ReesePiece23 said:
Sex and physical affection count for very little. Texting frequency, message content and "words" - count for virtually nothing.

It's all in the acts of service, the "little things" that he remembers about you, and the degree to which he lets his guard down around you. Its not so much the primary elements that give him away, it's the secondary and tertiary ones that you have to look out for.

If you're locked out of your house at 11pm on a Sunday, and he turns up to help you figure a way out, then you know for sure he's yours.

Acts of service don't lie. That's where the common denominator is.

So sex and physical affection count more than communication?

Sketcher · Dec 9, 2023

ReesePiece23 said:
Sex and physical affection count for very little. Texting frequency, message content and "words" - count for virtually nothing.

It's all in the acts of service, the "little things" that he remembers about you, and the degree to which he lets his guard down around you. Its not so much the primary elements that give him away, it's the secondary and tertiary ones that you have to look out for.

If you're locked out of your house at 11pm on a Sunday, and he turns up to help you figure a way out, then you know for sure he's yours.

Acts of service don't lie. That's where the common denominator is.

I get where you're going with this, but if this guy will do that for just about anyone that's a bad metric for his level of interest.

timewerx · Dec 9, 2023

QuestionQuest74 said:
So sex and physical affection count more than communication?

Are you sure you're not a troll?

You seem to keep making this absurd question someone with good intentions wouldn't be asking.

And you sound confused about your sexual orientation by your writings. Are you a man or a woman?

QuestionQuest74 · Dec 10, 2023

timewerx said:
Are you sure you're not a troll?

You seem to keep making this absurd question someone with good intentions wouldn't be asking.

And you sound confused about your sexual orientation by your writings. Are you a man or a woman?

Im a man and im a straight why and im not trolling and this a genuine ?

timewerx · Dec 10, 2023

QuestionQuest74 said:
Im a man and im a straight why and im not trolling and this a genuine ?

You tend to ask the wrong questions and that is probably trolling for wasting people's time.

QuestionQuest74 · Dec 10, 2023

timewerx said:
You tend to ask the wrong questions and that is probably trolling for wasting people's time.

What seriously makes a question wrong ?

Citanul · Dec 10, 2023

QuestionQuest74 said:
What seriously makes a question wrong ?

In this instance it was reading something into the first sentence of the post that wasn't meant at all, and completely ignoring the rest of it where the actual point was being made.

QuestionQuest74 · Dec 11, 2023

timewerx said:
Are you sure you're not a troll?

You seem to keep making this absurd question someone with good intentions wouldn't be asking.

What makes my question absurd and makes it seem i have bad intentions?

timewerx said:
And you sound confused about your sexual orientation by your writings. Are you a man or a woman?

timewerx · Dec 11, 2023

QuestionQuest74 said:
What makes my question absurd and makes it seem i have bad intentions?

Too naive like why would you ask if sex and physical affection count more than communication.

If you don't actually know the answer to your own question then you have a lot learn about human relationships not just with the opposite sex.

QuestionQuest74 · Dec 11, 2023

timewerx said:
Too naive like why would you ask if sex and physical affection count more than communication.

If you don't actually know the answer to your own question then you have a lot learn about human relationships not just with the opposite sex.

You stated that in the conversation earlier that counts more than text and phone calls

High Fidelity · Dec 12, 2023

timewerx said:
Too naive like why would you ask if sex and physical affection count more than communication.

If you don't actually know the answer to your own question then you have a lot learn about human relationships not just with the opposite sex.

Maybe that’s the case and we need to be more charitable and helpful.

Women when you first started dating as a Christians was it hard to tell if a man was interested or not while dating ?

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