- Jan 8, 2021
- 1
- 1
- 32
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Engaged
Hello all,
I'm happy to have found this forum, I've already read a ton of posts that helped but I figured I'd share my story as well.
Currently I'm 29 years old and really struggling with health anxiety...struggling really isn't the right word...it's debilitating really....
I feel that I have been traumatized by a couple things in my life and that is making my fight with health anxiety much harder...
1. I've always been an anxious child but otherwise in good health. However, when I was 18 out of no where I had a heart arrhythmia pop up. My heart rate would go crazy at random times and make me light headed and I actually called 911 because I thought I was having a heart attack at 18. I became agoraphobic because I was so scared to be out in the world and have an episode. It was a miserable 9 months but 7 months into my suffering a doctor finally found the source of my heart issues on an ekg. It had been missed for 7 months and I was told it was just "in my head". I believe this had lead to a problem with trusting doctors for me. Once the issue was found I had to have a surgery to fix the arrhythmia which was successful and I can't thank God enough for the issue being relatively short lived but it was truly so terrifying all the way through.
2. Just last year my dad had to have a triple bypass heart surgery at 59. The crazy part is that he went to the ER because he thought he had pneumonia and found out he had to have a triple bypass. Seeing him go through that really messed me up....it made me feel like I was looking at my future...the thing is that I totally give praise to God for my dad even being here today...and the fact that my dads experience actually changed me...it made me eat so much healthier and start taking care of myself so much better ( well up until the last 5 months). My dad going through that most likely saved me from the same thing but it really did a number on my mentally.
Now to get to how health anxiety is ruining my life...
About 5 months ago I was eating I had a pain in my left arm out of nowhere. I don't know why but that instantly trigged the fear of heart attack. That was the beginning of a horrible cycle of my life ( if you can even call it that ) turning into what it is now. Ever since my dad's surgery I have been on high alert for heart issues so I believe that's where the trauma comes in.
It's like a switch went off in my brain and I haven't been able to come out of health freak out mode since...it's like every little thing makes me think I am dying...and the biggest issue I have is that when I get scared my go-to reassurance method is to lay down...so I'll get scared because I think I'm having a heart attack and then end up in bed for hours or even days because I am too scared to get up and "push" my heart.
I've gone to the emergency room twice in 5 months and been told everything was ok...I am currently undergoing a 3 week long ekg monitor as well as several other tests/ seeing doctors. I have gone from being scared of heart attack, to pulmonary embolism, to blood clot, to brain aneurism ( my current enemy because I woke up with a funny feeling on one side of my head)...
It's like every day I am afraid of just waking up and facing the day...almost every day it feels like I have to fight just to not go to the ER...it's severely affected my appetite as well...I have to fight to get over 1000 calories in a day...
Right before all this happened I had started a photography business that was growing and I was so happy...but now it feels like everything is falling apart..
I am engaged and supposed to get married in April but it's looking like that won't happen because I don't know how to just stand there in front of everyone without having a mental breakdown...not to mention that this issue is really having an effect on my amazing fiancée and I don't blame her at all. At this point ( even though she has reassured me that she's staying with me no matter what) I am afraid that I am going to lose her because of it..
At this point I am pretty much agoraphobic again and spend way to many days just laying in bed because of fear. It really sucks giving up days of my youth to the enemy but I just don't know how to beat this yet.
I have been a Christian since I was 7, and I have prayed and prayed for deliverance and help with this problem for months and I can't say that I feel like God has answered my prayers yet BUT I know how lucky I am and how amazing God is, and I keep holding onto faith that I am going through all this so that one day I can overcome it and help others.
I am not really writing this because I am looking for other peoples answers for how to beat it, I am currently looking into CBT and reading books/getting therapy, but really just to help anyone who could be going through anything similar. I know how much it's helped me to hear about other peoples experiences, even if they haven't won the fight yet. I know God has a plan for everything and that this is part of it.
Even in this dark dark season of my life I have hope in God that he will bring me through this and I pray he will for anyone who is going through something similar.
I'm happy to have found this forum, I've already read a ton of posts that helped but I figured I'd share my story as well.
Currently I'm 29 years old and really struggling with health anxiety...struggling really isn't the right word...it's debilitating really....
I feel that I have been traumatized by a couple things in my life and that is making my fight with health anxiety much harder...
1. I've always been an anxious child but otherwise in good health. However, when I was 18 out of no where I had a heart arrhythmia pop up. My heart rate would go crazy at random times and make me light headed and I actually called 911 because I thought I was having a heart attack at 18. I became agoraphobic because I was so scared to be out in the world and have an episode. It was a miserable 9 months but 7 months into my suffering a doctor finally found the source of my heart issues on an ekg. It had been missed for 7 months and I was told it was just "in my head". I believe this had lead to a problem with trusting doctors for me. Once the issue was found I had to have a surgery to fix the arrhythmia which was successful and I can't thank God enough for the issue being relatively short lived but it was truly so terrifying all the way through.
2. Just last year my dad had to have a triple bypass heart surgery at 59. The crazy part is that he went to the ER because he thought he had pneumonia and found out he had to have a triple bypass. Seeing him go through that really messed me up....it made me feel like I was looking at my future...the thing is that I totally give praise to God for my dad even being here today...and the fact that my dads experience actually changed me...it made me eat so much healthier and start taking care of myself so much better ( well up until the last 5 months). My dad going through that most likely saved me from the same thing but it really did a number on my mentally.
Now to get to how health anxiety is ruining my life...
About 5 months ago I was eating I had a pain in my left arm out of nowhere. I don't know why but that instantly trigged the fear of heart attack. That was the beginning of a horrible cycle of my life ( if you can even call it that ) turning into what it is now. Ever since my dad's surgery I have been on high alert for heart issues so I believe that's where the trauma comes in.
It's like a switch went off in my brain and I haven't been able to come out of health freak out mode since...it's like every little thing makes me think I am dying...and the biggest issue I have is that when I get scared my go-to reassurance method is to lay down...so I'll get scared because I think I'm having a heart attack and then end up in bed for hours or even days because I am too scared to get up and "push" my heart.
I've gone to the emergency room twice in 5 months and been told everything was ok...I am currently undergoing a 3 week long ekg monitor as well as several other tests/ seeing doctors. I have gone from being scared of heart attack, to pulmonary embolism, to blood clot, to brain aneurism ( my current enemy because I woke up with a funny feeling on one side of my head)...
It's like every day I am afraid of just waking up and facing the day...almost every day it feels like I have to fight just to not go to the ER...it's severely affected my appetite as well...I have to fight to get over 1000 calories in a day...
Right before all this happened I had started a photography business that was growing and I was so happy...but now it feels like everything is falling apart..
I am engaged and supposed to get married in April but it's looking like that won't happen because I don't know how to just stand there in front of everyone without having a mental breakdown...not to mention that this issue is really having an effect on my amazing fiancée and I don't blame her at all. At this point ( even though she has reassured me that she's staying with me no matter what) I am afraid that I am going to lose her because of it..
At this point I am pretty much agoraphobic again and spend way to many days just laying in bed because of fear. It really sucks giving up days of my youth to the enemy but I just don't know how to beat this yet.
I have been a Christian since I was 7, and I have prayed and prayed for deliverance and help with this problem for months and I can't say that I feel like God has answered my prayers yet BUT I know how lucky I am and how amazing God is, and I keep holding onto faith that I am going through all this so that one day I can overcome it and help others.
I am not really writing this because I am looking for other peoples answers for how to beat it, I am currently looking into CBT and reading books/getting therapy, but really just to help anyone who could be going through anything similar. I know how much it's helped me to hear about other peoples experiences, even if they haven't won the fight yet. I know God has a plan for everything and that this is part of it.
Even in this dark dark season of my life I have hope in God that he will bring me through this and I pray he will for anyone who is going through something similar.
