I was listening to audio bible after taking my meds. The meds made me really drowsy and I was listening to Isaiah while playing a video game. There he said something like "there is no other God" and I had a thought that just popped up "I wish there was". I felt horrible after that because I do love God and I don't want any other God (and there isn't the rest are all fake gods), our God is perfect, Holy and good. He died for me and I appreciated it immensely.
Do you think God will forgive me for this? I don't want to reject Him or anything, and I want Jesus Christ in my life. I've just been feeling really condemned due to this thought. I haven't felt the Holy Spirit that much since this thought, it's like I've really grieved Him this time.
I just feel like dying since that would stop all these thoughts from grieving God. Obviously I don't want to commit suicide because that too would grieve God. It's like a catch 22, damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Do you think God will forgive me for this? I don't want to reject Him or anything, and I want Jesus Christ in my life. I've just been feeling really condemned due to this thought. I haven't felt the Holy Spirit that much since this thought, it's like I've really grieved Him this time.
I just feel like dying since that would stop all these thoughts from grieving God. Obviously I don't want to commit suicide because that too would grieve God. It's like a catch 22, damned if you do, damned if you don't.