I think I was pretty clear. No, I don't think affection has to be the leader and I think the verses I quoted validate this.
I don't think 1Cor13 overrides all other verses that speak of love, but has to harmonize with all instruction on the topic.
In looking at 1Cor13, it might be helpful for you to explain where exactly you see affection specified or described. Here are the descriptive words I see used (NKJ translation):
4 Love:
- suffers long
- is kind;
- does not envy;
- does not parade itself,
- is not puffed up;
- 5 does not behave rudely,
- does not seek its own,
- is not provoked,
- thinks no evil;
- 6 does not rejoice in iniquity,
- rejoices in the truth;
- 7 bears all things,
- believes all things,
- hopes all things,
- endures all things.
- 8 never fails.
Again, this is just ignoring basic reality of how things work in life and what the Scriptures plainly teach.
We see the emotion of Christ with Him weeping and the Jews made the obvious truth or statement of how Jesus loved Lazarus (based on Christ's emotional, or affectionate response).
For John 11:35-36 says,
“Jesus wept. Then said the Jews, Behold how he loved him!”
As for 1 Corinthians 13:
Based on what you said so far, you are taking the word “love” as obeying God's commands as the basis of the definition of “love” without it being any kind of emotion involved.
But this does not make sense when reading 1 Corinthians 13.
Lets look at a few of the examples in 1 Corinthians 13.
Love (true affectionate love) is kind.
Your interpretation of love (
obeying God's commands without any emotion) is kind.
Okay. How can your obedience to God's commands without any emotion lead to an emotionally driven action like being kind? Jesus says, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.” (Luke 6:45).
So what you say makes no sense. It makes more sense that when we say we have an affection or emotional love for somebody, it should will then lead to being kind towards others in one's actions (like being gentle with others, and doing nice things for them). For how can you truly love in your actions if you have no love in your heart for them?
Love (true affectionate love) is not puffed up.
Your interpretation of love (obeying God's commands with no emotion) is not puffed up.
Again, your view on this part of Scripture does not make any sense. One is puffed up because they do not have a proper affection. True affectionate love never leads to a person being puffed up towards the other person they have an affection for. To be puffed up is to be proud and boastful and to feel superior over the other person. But to say that “Obeying God's commands (with no emotion) is not be puffed up” (i.e. love) does not make a whole lot of sense. You want emotionless actions to then determine an emotional outcome. Cause and effect. You cannot have an emotional outcome without an emotional cause.