Getting attached too fast?

Being ultra-possessive like that drives people away. Do you use this knowledge to combat those feelings of jealousy?

Vonnielove190 said:

The other night a guy i started to like told me he was going to hang up to pray and read the Bible

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Go and do likewise.

I still struggle not to get too attached, personally I attribute this to my childhood being somewhat chaotic. I know this might not be advice you aren't already aware of, but focus on your love for God and for yourself, work on improving yourself (not being selfish but taking care of your being, your temple).

I find that it is difficult for me to do this due to my temperament, but once you make those gradual changes you will learn to let that feeling of excessive loneliness/clinginess fall away.

I just assume based on what you say that you're a thoughtful and caring person, just work on your boundaries, the love side of yours has plenty.

God says> He will never share His Glory... Pray, you will put Him 1st in all that you do..

Vonnielove190 said:

The other night a guy i started to like told me he was going to hang up to pray and read the Bible and i felt angry and a bit jealous. I did Not want him to spend time with God but with me.

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Isn't it a good thing that the guy you started to like is maintaining his appointment with God even while he's hanging around with you! When he hangs up to spend time with God you go and do the same thing. Then you two decide one day to pray and worship together online and make it regular. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. Matthew 18:20 Go back to your first love. All else only comes after that.

Vonnielove190 said:

I can See how this is a serious problem.

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So, we know this is wrong. Any of us, I think, can have some ways of trying to possess certain people and demand how they must give us attention. This is why we can argue and complain > we want attention which results in things being our way. This could include how we might expect God to give us attention, by doing what we want Him to do.

So . . . may be . . . you are not alone, after all. And we can help each other. Once you do better with the guy, then you could get into some other sort of attention dictating thing, unless you learn not to do this with anyone; so we need to become humble with Jesus and first answer to Him and be attentive to Him.

And Jesus wants us to love any and all people. So, if you are capable of sharing with a really Christian guy, God is trusting you to honor and support him to love any and all people > be his helper, by helping him to learn how to love any and all people. And welcome him to share in groups, so you can develop in Christ's family way of relating.

And please get to know seniors in the faith > I do not mean church culture smiley-face people, but ones who help you get real with God and learn how to love in close sharing > these are gentle and humble people, quiet . . . not making themselves look like they are great people, but they are humble.

And be thankful that he's not trying to use you; if you are an attention grubber, there are people who can give you enough attention to get you hooked, so then they might gradually take all that away and more and more use you for what they want.

It has helped me to pray and be unconditionally satisfied with whatever time I have with any person > a moment opening a door, or if someone just has a minute > be ready to be appreciative >

"be content with such things as you have" (in Hebrews 13:5).

And because I am ready to keep people free to love others, also, I can appreciate how much time I have with anyone . . . with the quality if not the quantity

Vonnielove190 said:

The other night a guy i started to like told me he was going to hang up to pray and read the Bible and i felt angry and a bit jealous. I did Not want him to spend time with God but with me.




i know I struggle with not feeling good enough.

but my emotions are becoming too much. I can See how this is a serious problem.
Help?

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I prayed for a woman that would love God more than she loved me.

When dealing with Christian women
it wasn't hard to find one.

M B

Vonnielove190 said:

I expect to just feel What everyone has called Gods presence so much that i feel Hurt or sad when i don’t.

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Years ago, I was sharing with a church, and one day the pastor talked about forgiveness. As she was doing that, I started to sense the presence of the Lord. Then, another time, her assistant pastor started talking about how their denomination was superior to others; and right away I sensed the presence of that moment to depart, like a light had turned off.

forgiveness

Feed on forgiving. You can be sharing with Jesus, by forgiving with caring about people we forgive.

Yes we have failed; this is proof of how we need Jesus to do with us all we need and which God desires.

You said:

to just feel What everyone has called Gods presence

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and said:

how does one overcome the feelings of feeling too much and being overcome by them?

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Others here likely can give you more helpful answers. I can be more a knowledge and explanation person in how I answer things. But I will offer what I have, for however it can help >

"rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4)

Years ago, I was in torment and confusion about how I was not straightened out with God. And I read how God wants Christian wives to have a "meek and quiet spirit" (1 Peter 3:4) I thought about how I was so messed up, and I sure could do well to have a "meek and quiet spirit", instead. But that scripture was written to women, and I was a man!! Oh-oh; I couldn't change myself to become a woman, to be sure. So, I was worried. But then I thought of how Jesus says He is "meek and lowly in heart" (Matthew 11:29), which could be like to being "meek and quiet" in spirit; so then I was encouraged that possibly God was still interested in me, and first I was seeing my need.

And now I feed on scripture which says to be quiet and confident and still and know God is God. And trust Him to have me His way. If mean and nasty and selfish things get the better of me and my attention, I can wait and trust God to clear me of such anti-love things, and change me into how I can be loving, instead, and caring in prayer for any and all people . . . doing this all loving in sharing with Him.

By forgiving, by loving, we can be sharing with Jesus, not only feeling Him!

"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31-32)

So, if you have friends who actually experience Jesus, this is very good. Be glad you know these people. And trust Jesus to do with you what He does with all of us. We have all needed correction. No one has all along been a finished product, but our Apostle Paul says "we all once" "were by nature children of wrath, just as the others." (in Ephesians 2:3)

So, you might talk with anyone who is genuine, about what has helped him or her. And like I say, spend time with mature seniors of faith and love and holiness. Feed on their example, and listen to whatever they say, but with hope. They have hope for you. Love "hopes all things" (in 1 Corinthians 13:7), and we are now praying for you, t.

Vonnielove190 said:

I feel That is so me. Especially where you said expecting God to give you attention a certain way. I do That a lot. I expect to just feel What everyone has called Gods presence so much that i feel Hurt or sad when i don’t. Like he’s not there. I focus On feelings a lot. How does one overcome this?

how does one overcome the feelings of feeling too much and being overcome by them?

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I hear you. I was like this before and God gave me help when I asked. Ask and you will recieve. When God´s love fill you, you never feel alone, you never feel that you are not enough. So I would focusing on reading the bible and being close to God. Everything else becomes after that.

What’s at the root of your desire for being the center of attention? Was neglect, abuse, or sibling rivalry part of your history? Did you struggle for acceptance in your youth? Understanding the cause will help you find the appropriate remedy.

Attention won’t set aside your feelings of inadequacy nor is it a perfect barometer for acceptance. All attention isn’t profitable. Learning how to take your mind off of yourself won’t happen overnight. But with time and constancy you’ll develop a better opinion and standard worth following.

Demands have a negative impact on our relationships. I’ve been on both sides of it and find I’m happiest with mutual give and take that isn’t riddled with expectations.

This means accepting my wants may go unmet (on occasion) and refraining from indulging disappointment or giving voice to it. The desire doesn’t present itself in my friendships but may rear its head in intimate connections with the opposite sex.

I stay grounded by focusing on the quality of our time and how it enriches my person. It would be a disservice to my character if he indulged my whims. Not having my way (all the time) is important. It’s humbling and deepens my gratitude.

~Bella

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and concerns with us. I am truly sorry for you are going through. These forums are great for sharing burdens, and venting. I think things happen for a reason. Let me tell you my sister in Christ that you are valuable, important, a person of worth of dignity. You are so precious in God’s eyes. Let me tell you that if we are focus on ourselves and we demand for attention we will get the opposite from others. It is not a coincidence that you met that guy. It was God's Will that you met him and he is giving you an example how to fill the desire that you have for being loved. All human being experiments the desire to love and being loved. God puts that desire in our hearts because He is love and made us in that way. Love comes from God and He invites us everyday to discover him. I think this is a great opportunity for you now to discover and have meeting with Jesus. Have you ever thought about it? In regards to the guy that you like, it might be best for you to think about something; he is focused on the Word of God and that He is doing to fill the desire of love and being loved, that there is no need to be jealous, but be encouraged to do the same! If you knew God’s love, you would not demand and seek attention in your ways. Jesus says in his Sacred Word: “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well”. Matthew 6,33. That does mean that if we seek God first, if He is for us our first priority, and we love Him with all our heart, soul and mind, He will give us that our heart desire. It seems that you have a great desire to love and being loved by God! Let me tell you my sister in Christ, that we are living difficult times right now. Please do not focus on yourself! That does not help you especially in these moments. Now there is a lot of resources on media that help Christians to join to communities to pray for the whole word, for people who are sick in isolation at the hospitals, for our doctors and nurses, for all the people do not have nothing to eat, for the dying, etc. I encourage you to be part of this mission to take peace to others. Please, avoid being focus on yourself. In despite of this situation I believe God made you in His image and that you are important, valuable, a person worthy of dignity and respect. Maybe you have a hard time to believe this but that does not disqualify you to being loved the way that you are. I encourage you to write in a journal and think in the things that you are grateful or thankful (for example, for each day of life, your health, a place to live, for the food that you have, etc.) . Another thing we can do is to pray the Psalms 37 Find your delight in the LORD who will give you your heart’s desire, commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and He will act; Psalms 23 The Lord is my Shepherd, therefore I shall not want. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not fear evil, for you are with me, your and your staff comfort me, Psalm 91 He will rescue you from the fowler’s snare, from the destroying plague, and Psalm17. This is the time that we need to recognize that we are sinners and I encourage you to have the humble attitude of the Publican in the Bible (Luke 18, 9-14) that he recognizes that he is not worthy in from of God’s eyes and he asks for forgiveness for all his sins. This is the time to pray and ask God What are the things that I should change, or what are the things that keep me away from you? And try to amend our ways to come back to God like the Prodigal son. Have you ever read the Prodigal Son in the Bible? This story can apply all of us men and women. It is a great story about that a son asked his father for his inheritance and he wasted it what he received. The inheritance represents God’s grace that we lose it when we keep away from Him and do not do His Will. The Father of this son represents God, and He forgave his son and make big feast for him who was lost and now is found and he returns to God’s grace. I encourage you to open your Bible. This story is in the New Testament. You can find the book of Luke 15, 11-32. The same thing happens to us. When we discover our faults, when we recognize them, repent, amend our ways and decide to turn to Him, God is always waiting for us and forgive us. As I told you before things happen for a reason. God is good and merciful all the time. For one sinner repents and turns to God there is a big feast in heaven. There is prayer of Francis of Assisi and I would like that you pay attention to the second part: O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be love, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned… In conclusion, Please can you read and meditate the whole prayer: Lord, make an instrument of your peace: where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where is doubt, fait; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light, and where there is sadness, joy. O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be love, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is dying that we are both to Eternal Life. Amen. On the other hand, when the pandemic passes, have you ever thought of seeking counseling or therapy? Counseling or therapy works through things like this. You are valuable and worthy of fighting for. I hope this helps. Sending you hugs. I will keep you in my prayers, sister in Christ.