Should you date born again Christian women?
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There’s little reason to query a group of strangers for a conviction you’ve settled on. You want a certain type and that’s a done deal.
Nor are you questioning the soundness of your convictions. You’re defending them. And justifying your stance with social media reels.
I can only concede you’re looking for agreement and hope to find solidarity with other men who feel the same.
From my experience (and observation), men who spend their days complaining about women are usually alone and frequently remain in that state. Validation is a two-edge sword whose remedy is telling the truth.
That begins with a clear estimation of yourself and having people in your circle who’ll call your bluff, tell you to knock it off, challenge, encourage and support you. Yes men are a barrel of crabs in disguise.
When people tell you what you want to hear it always benefits them in some way. Oftentimes the gain is things remain the same and you stay put. Stuck is the result.
I’m leery of accepting advice from people whose character doesn’t coincide with their relationships. I expect to see evidence of wisdom in their affairs. And I test them to determine if its genuine.
I listen for scapegoating, blame, judgment, and ridicule. And I pay attention to balance. I’m looking for the bad guy. Ideally, shared responsibility is articulated. If it isn’t. I don’t make them a confidante. I’ll develop a false sense of innocence and believe I’m faultless and that’s never the case.
You need to rethink the rhetoric you’ve accepted and recognize your inability to contain bias and disparagement. It always spills out. The harlot today will become a different sentiment for your partner.
Because you’re comfortable debasing them. Your vernacular reveals this. And its a downward spiral.
~Bella
Nor are you questioning the soundness of your convictions. You’re defending them. And justifying your stance with social media reels.
I can only concede you’re looking for agreement and hope to find solidarity with other men who feel the same.
From my experience (and observation), men who spend their days complaining about women are usually alone and frequently remain in that state. Validation is a two-edge sword whose remedy is telling the truth.
That begins with a clear estimation of yourself and having people in your circle who’ll call your bluff, tell you to knock it off, challenge, encourage and support you. Yes men are a barrel of crabs in disguise.
When people tell you what you want to hear it always benefits them in some way. Oftentimes the gain is things remain the same and you stay put. Stuck is the result.
I’m leery of accepting advice from people whose character doesn’t coincide with their relationships. I expect to see evidence of wisdom in their affairs. And I test them to determine if its genuine.
I listen for scapegoating, blame, judgment, and ridicule. And I pay attention to balance. I’m looking for the bad guy. Ideally, shared responsibility is articulated. If it isn’t. I don’t make them a confidante. I’ll develop a false sense of innocence and believe I’m faultless and that’s never the case.
You need to rethink the rhetoric you’ve accepted and recognize your inability to contain bias and disparagement. It always spills out. The harlot today will become a different sentiment for your partner.
Because you’re comfortable debasing them. Your vernacular reveals this. And its a downward spiral.
~Bella
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Prove it.
Personal anecdotal report is worthless. I would have the exact same expectation of Graham: show me the evidence.
And my own experience validates the exact opposite. Since I'm more handsome I win.
"...to some degree"? To what degree? 1% 5% 20% 51% 77%
Tell me Pete, to what degree exactly does your personal experience inform you about all born-again Christian women?
Neither are judging other or baseless accusations, or teaching falsehood. Log, not speck.
"Born-again Christian Women" are being judged, judged derisively, and judged derisively without evidence.
"Born-again churchgoers" are being judged, judged derisively, and judged derisively without evidence.
"AA few elders" are providing prohibitive counsel based on this baseless belief.
Not a single one of us has the ability to read another's mind.
Not a single person here knows the eternal disposition of another.
The biblical word for those who unjustly and unnecessarily divide the body of Christ "devils."
The Bible decries false teaching and false teachers.
I have not received any evidence despite the requests and the evidence I've provided has not been engaged.
You cannot assure me of anything Pete. What you can do is persuade me with evidence. You show some and I'll look at it, consider it, and adjust my thinking, my doctrines, and my practices accordingly. Until then the derision of born again Christian women and born again churchgoers is baseless and therefore irrational, unbiblical, and ungodly.
Deuteronomy 1:16-18
"Then I charged your judges at that time, saying, 'Hear the cases between your fellow countrymen, and judge righteously between a man and his fellow countryman, or the alien who is with him. You shall not show partiality in judgment; you shall hear the small and the great alike. You shall not fear man, for the judgment is God's. The case that is too hard for you, you shall bring to me, and I will hear it.' I commanded you at that time all the things that you should do."
"Then I charged your judges at that time, saying, 'Hear the cases between your fellow countrymen, and judge righteously between a man and his fellow countryman, or the alien who is with him. You shall not show partiality in judgment; you shall hear the small and the great alike. You shall not fear man, for the judgment is God's. The case that is too hard for you, you shall bring to me, and I will hear it.' I commanded you at that time all the things that you should do."
James 2:8-9
"If, however, you are fulfilling the royal law according to the Scripture, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself,' you are doing well. But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors."
"If, however, you are fulfilling the royal law according to the Scripture, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself,' you are doing well. But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors."
Romans 1:28-2:5
"And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper, being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful; and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them. Therefore you have no excuse, everyone of you who passes judgment, for in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things. And we know that the judgment of God rightly falls upon those who practice such things. But do you suppose this, O man, when you pass judgment on those who practice such things and do the same yourself, that you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance? But because of your stubbornness and unrepentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God..."
"And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper, being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful; and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them. Therefore you have no excuse, everyone of you who passes judgment, for in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things. And we know that the judgment of God rightly falls upon those who practice such things. But do you suppose this, O man, when you pass judgment on those who practice such things and do the same yourself, that you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance? But because of your stubbornness and unrepentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God..."
Matthew 7:1-5
"Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."
"Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."
You do understand these words are supposed to mean something applicable, yes?
1 Corinthians 2:10-16 ESV
"...the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God. For who knows a person’s thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God. And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who are spiritual. The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned. The spiritual person judges all things, but is himself to be judged by no one. 'For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?' But we have the mind of Christ."
"...the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God. For who knows a person’s thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God. And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who are spiritual. The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned. The spiritual person judges all things, but is himself to be judged by no one. 'For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?' But we have the mind of Christ."
What the Spirit teaches is not to make baseless accusations, especially if in a position of leadership.
James 3:1-10 ESV
"Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. For we all stumble in many ways. ...no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so."
"Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. For we all stumble in many ways. ...no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so."
Show me evidence. If you have none then be honest enough to say so.
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So all men are hypocrites, misogynistic hypocrites.
False dichotomy.
Failed analogy. Are you going to pay a mechanic with no experience $1k to work on your car or a seasoned and well experienced mechanic $1k to work on your car? Are you gonna pay a brand new counselor $150.00 dollars an hour to help you fix your broken marriage or a seasoned, practiced, and married counselor $200.00 an hour to help you work on your marriage?
These kind of analogies fail. They evidence a paucity of thought and lack of knowledge of scripture.
lol. Quality men and women have "issues." We live as sinners in a sinful world and it is delusional to think otherwise. It is not one's past that matters; it is one's disposition in Christ and the qualities of healthy people living healthy lives able to form healthy relationship is possible even in the lives of the formerly promiscuous. Yes, former promiscuity does pose certain problems for marriage but no sin is unforgivable, no past irredeemable, and no wound unhealable. In fact, those who have overcome their sin in Christ and gone on to live victorious lives know something many in the body of Christ do not know and are thereby unique benefits to the body of Christ in God's hands.
Ugh! A whole thread could be devoted to how wrong is that nonsense. The short version: that statement is idiotic.
If this post is any indication you have issues and by your own standard should not marry. If all it takes to prevent one from marrying another Christian is "issues," then you qualify.
Tweet theology.
Here's one of the many things the Bible states,
2 Peter 1:3-10
"His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to confirm your calling and election, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall."
"His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to confirm your calling and election, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall."
That part about having bee cleansed from past sins applies to women, too.
What those "few elders" are teaching and what you're posting implies a previously promiscuous woman has not been granted all things pertaining to godly living, cannot partake in the divine nature, and has not actually been cleansed from past sins. An amazing amount of ignorance about what it actually means to be saved from sin and wrath is being demonstrated in this post to which I now reply.
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Jermayn
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It's pretty sad to read the man and woman hating insult fest going on here. The Bible says to be equally yoked. Your free to date/marry a Christian woman based on whatever standards you choose. The problem is the attitude toward a fellow Christian. That born again woman with a past is also your family member in Christ and part of the Church. Would you call your mother, sister, or daughter a harlot who doesn't deserve a good husband because she made mistakes in her past?
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solid_core
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"He must not marry a widow, a divorced woman, or a woman defiled by prostitution, but only a virgin from his own people"
Lev 21:14
I think its on you, if you want to have a high standard or be much more tolerant. You are free to decide for yourself.
Lev 21:14
I think its on you, if you want to have a high standard or be much more tolerant. You are free to decide for yourself.
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I'm confused by your use of the terminology "born again" why is this only used to identify a group who became christian as an adult? Christ tells us "unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God." So is this not an identity we all should desire?
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Not quite sure how to take this.
There are so many things wrong with it.
Women, like men can be sloppy or organized, clean or not so clean, understanding or petty, they can also be controlling, "catty" , OCD, lazy, strong willed, forgiving or have any number of human character traits, good and bad.
Now you want to throw in the "born again" card? Well... people who are born again come from any walk of life. Being born again does not exclude them from any of the characteristic traits that I just listed.
Someones life, before they met you.. is going to be what they have based their ideals on... Whether they are trying to change them.... think that they are alright.... or... could care less....
Their parents, friends and other acquaintances of their past ..... are going to shape the concepts of child rearing, whether drinking is ok or not, financial concepts, work ethic, how they like to take vacations, how they look after a house, what meals they consider to be healthy...
The list is immense.. You cannot point at someone and, based on their relationship with Christ... being newly born again, long time born again... non believer... or whatever..... and make the decision on whether you should peruse them in serious relationship.
Only one thing would be a solid thing to consider.... is if they believe in Christ as their savior.... I would caution believers from being unequally yoked...
However, this will still not keep you from ending up with a bat-crap crazy boyfriend or girlfriend...It's just a place to start.... Just say'n.
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SamanthaAnastasia
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Ah, I see. But the same could be said about men, most men lie about sexual partners too. They tend to make their numbers higher.
BUT both should always be honest about sexual history. Not only for emotional and trust but also for health reasons.
Thank you for clarifying your post. I think I understand better now.
I know what incel means, I just stated that if this was any other forum, I would think this comment would have been from an incel.
also, when did I say fornication wasn’t sinful?
I agree that having some lists of moral qualities is a good thing.
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ViaCrucis
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All Christians are born again, because our new birth from God is what makes us Christians. "Born again" does not refer to a particular conversion experience that only some have. Jesus says in the third chapter of John that we must be born again to enter God's kingdom, and when Nicodemus is confused by what He means by "born again" Jesus clarifies, "You must born of water and the Spirit" (John 3:5) which the Christian Church had always understood as reference to the Sacrament of Baptism.
Sure, there are people whose lives before they became Christians, or even their lives while they have been Christians, or perhaps their lives after they became Christians but they drifted away like the Prodigal has been rife with poor decisions. That's true of all of us to some degree or another. We are all sinners, we all fail miserably at seeking to live our lives in obedience to God, that's why we need God's grace and the forgiveness that is found in Christ our Lord. If someone has left their former life behind, it would be a great cruelty to hold it against them. And if their lives are now estranged from God we should look upon them with love, compassion, mercy, and kindness, because that is God's call upon us, to love our neighbor as ourselves.
So it is not our place to judge others, the Lord specifically condemns the hypocrisy of pointing out the speck in our brother's eye while having an entire log stuck in our own. For with the same judgment we judge we also shall be judged.
As far as romantic relationships go, there's no magic formula. Two people with chemistry get along well together, and may ultimately choose to live their lives together as husband and wife. Hopefully, in this endeavor, the two seek to live their lives together as Christians ought--loving the other as oneself, and working together in mutual, reciprocal love, trust, respect, and integrity to hold their marriage together such that it works out. And, if they bring children into the world, that they raise those children in the Church, in the faith, with love, instructing them in righteousness, so that those children might grow up to become faithful adults.
But there's no magic formula, or mystical something-or-other that's going to make a relationship work.
If someone is not able to look past another's past, and is not willing to share in that person's burdens then they shouldn't be with that person. Because a relationship is going to mean shouldering one another's burdens, giving of oneself to the other, loving them. And true enough, maybe we should look at ourselves and hopefully be mature enough to recognize that we may not be in the right state of mind to be in a relationship with someone--perhaps we have some of our own emotional baggage that we need to work on as individuals first. So, again, there's no one size fits all here. It's all about the messy, complicated reality that we are all different people, with our own personalities, our own flaws, our own personal brand of messiness, and with our own pasts--and we are all living in this world, and as Christians, seeking to be disciples of Christ in this world.
-CryptoLutheran
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ViaCrucis
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You know, I came into this thread and answered honestly. But it would appear that I've misunderstood. It would appear instead that you're nothing more than a troll.
-CryptoLutheran
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ViaCrucis
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That particular term has gained traction in the last few years by certain kinds of internet trolls and--to be perfectly frank--degenerates. There's an entire subculture of misogyny on the internet, they have their own lingo, and an incredibly twisted and perverse view of the world. It's a dark dark place where miserable, hateful, violent misogynistic trolls dwell.
I think it's worth learning about the kinds of people that are out there, as such all you have to do is Google search terms like "incel" and "red pill"--but I want to offer a massive WARNING and DISCLAIMER--it's bad. Like really really really bad.
-CryptoLutheran
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What about the women who turn to Christ because their parents were abusive? They didn't grow up in church. They may have gotten into drugs because its the only way they could survive. The only thing they know how to do to make the pain go away. Even if only for a second.
What about when these women come to God? They do it because they need him. They need love. They've never known love before. Not until they met Jesus.
Does that make them bad people? Or does it make them people with a story? Just like everyone else on planet earth.
We all have stories. Don't be so quick to use a story to judge character. I am nothing like my step father.
What about when these women come to God? They do it because they need him. They need love. They've never known love before. Not until they met Jesus.
Does that make them bad people? Or does it make them people with a story? Just like everyone else on planet earth.
We all have stories. Don't be so quick to use a story to judge character. I am nothing like my step father.
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