- Apr 25, 2019
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These unforgivable sin thoughts are getting out of hand. It's becoming more than just a doubt. Whenever I try to convince myself that Jesus is God and not the devil, my mind will twist it and turn it into a reason why the opposite is true. I'm honestly worried this is what I actually believe now. I don't know how to get out of this. Honestly, I feel nothing can change this. Nothing can convince me. Even if God/Jesus Himself came down and told me, I would probably still doubt and think it was some illusion or deception from the devil. Even if I was standing before God in heaven, standing in all of His glory, and He told me Jesus is His son, I would probably still doubt it. This isn't like OCD at all. The questions I have and all the "proofs" my mind has come up with to convince me that Jesus is the devil all seem logical. I don't know what to do. If it was OCD, I'm pretty sure the doubts and arguments and stuff would be irrational and wouldn't make any logical sense. However, in this case the arguments and stuff seem pretty rational. I'm honestly convinced that even if I didn't have OCD, I would still have these doubts. If they even are doubts. I'm pretty sure they're more than doubts now. People have said that the unforgivable sin was unique, in that only people who saw Jesus perform miracles and then concluded that He was satan or whatever were unforgivable. To be honest, I'm pretty sure that if I were in the Pharisees' place, and I saw Jesus perform His miracles, I would probably conclude the same thing, which would make me unforgivable. This is so stupid. Why did Jesus and the apostles do miracles and stuff to validate their message if satan could just as easily do the same? If there is practically no difference between miracles from God and miracles from satan, then how do we know where the miracle performer is getting there power from? This is where my mind goes every time this happens. I can do this anymore. If this isn't the unforgivable sin, then I don't know what is. This is exactly what the Bible says is unforgivable.