Stupid Blasphemy, Stupid

[NoahSK]

These unforgivable sin thoughts are getting out of hand. It's becoming more than just a doubt. Whenever I try to convince myself that Jesus is God and not the devil, my mind will twist it and turn it into a reason why the opposite is true. I'm honestly worried this is what I actually believe now. I don't know how to get out of this. Honestly, I feel nothing can change this. Nothing can convince me. Even if God/Jesus Himself came down and told me, I would probably still doubt and think it was some illusion or deception from the devil. Even if I was standing before God in heaven, standing in all of His glory, and He told me Jesus is His son, I would probably still doubt it. This isn't like OCD at all. The questions I have and all the "proofs" my mind has come up with to convince me that Jesus is the devil all seem logical. I don't know what to do. If it was OCD, I'm pretty sure the doubts and arguments and stuff would be irrational and wouldn't make any logical sense. However, in this case the arguments and stuff seem pretty rational. I'm honestly convinced that even if I didn't have OCD, I would still have these doubts. If they even are doubts. I'm pretty sure they're more than doubts now. People have said that the unforgivable sin was unique, in that only people who saw Jesus perform miracles and then concluded that He was satan or whatever were unforgivable. To be honest, I'm pretty sure that if I were in the Pharisees' place, and I saw Jesus perform His miracles, I would probably conclude the same thing, which would make me unforgivable. This is so stupid. Why did Jesus and the apostles do miracles and stuff to validate their message if satan could just as easily do the same? If there is practically no difference between miracles from God and miracles from satan, then how do we know where the miracle performer is getting there power from? This is where my mind goes every time this happens. I can do this anymore. If this isn't the unforgivable sin, then I don't know what is. This is exactly what the Bible says is unforgivable.

 

[eleos1954]

These unforgivable sin thoughts are getting out of hand. It's becoming more than just a doubt. Whenever I try to convince myself that Jesus is God and not the devil, my mind will twist it and turn it into a reason why the opposite is true. I'm honestly worried this is what I actually believe now. I don't know how to get out of this. Honestly, I feel nothing can change this. Nothing can convince me. Even if God/Jesus Himself came down and told me, I would probably still doubt and think it was some illusion or deception from the devil. Even if I was standing before God in heaven, standing in all of His glory, and He told me Jesus is His son, I would probably still doubt it. This isn't like OCD at all. The questions I have and all the "proofs" my mind has come up with to convince me that Jesus is the devil all seem logical. I don't know what to do. If it was OCD, I'm pretty sure the doubts and arguments and stuff would be irrational and wouldn't make any logical sense. However, in this case the arguments and stuff seem pretty rational. I'm honestly convinced that even if I didn't have OCD, I would still have these doubts. If they even are doubts. I'm pretty sure they're more than doubts now. People have said that the unforgivable sin was unique, in that only people who saw Jesus perform miracles and then concluded that He was satan or whatever were unforgivable. To be honest, I'm pretty sure that if I were in the Pharisees' place, and I saw Jesus perform His miracles, I would probably conclude the same thing, which would make me unforgivable. This is so stupid. Why did Jesus and the apostles do miracles and stuff to validate their message if satan could just as easily do the same? If there is practically no difference between miracles from God and miracles from satan, then how do we know where the miracle performer is getting there power from? This is where my mind goes every time this happens. I can do this anymore. If this isn't the unforgivable sin, then I don't know what is. This is exactly what the Bible says is unforgivable.

James 1:13-15

Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.

Study and meditate on the Lords word, pray to Him and ask Him to remove these thoughts from you and help you understand His Word.

If, you do not do this .... nothing will change.

 

[Blade]

I speak words of life "And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." to you in JESUS name. I take authority over the spirit of confusion. For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

And He has not given you the spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind! Praying for you.

 

[MasterYourLife]

These unforgivable sin thoughts are getting out of hand. It's becoming more than just a doubt. Whenever I try to convince myself that Jesus is God and not the devil, my mind will twist it and turn it into a reason why the opposite is true. I'm honestly worried this is what I actually believe now. I don't know how to get out of this. Honestly, I feel nothing can change this. Nothing can convince me. Even if God/Jesus Himself came down and told me, I would probably still doubt and think it was some illusion or deception from the devil. Even if I was standing before God in heaven, standing in all of His glory, and He told me Jesus is His son, I would probably still doubt it. This isn't like OCD at all. The questions I have and all the "proofs" my mind has come up with to convince me that Jesus is the devil all seem logical. I don't know what to do. If it was OCD, I'm pretty sure the doubts and arguments and stuff would be irrational and wouldn't make any logical sense. However, in this case the arguments and stuff seem pretty rational. I'm honestly convinced that even if I didn't have OCD, I would still have these doubts. If they even are doubts. I'm pretty sure they're more than doubts now. People have said that the unforgivable sin was unique, in that only people who saw Jesus perform miracles and then concluded that He was satan or whatever were unforgivable. To be honest, I'm pretty sure that if I were in the Pharisees' place, and I saw Jesus perform His miracles, I would probably conclude the same thing, which would make me unforgivable. This is so stupid. Why did Jesus and the apostles do miracles and stuff to validate their message if satan could just as easily do the same? If there is practically no difference between miracles from God and miracles from satan, then how do we know where the miracle performer is getting there power from? This is where my mind goes every time this happens. I can do this anymore. If this isn't the unforgivable sin, then I don't know what is. This is exactly what the Bible says is unforgivable.

"Now when the Pharisees heard it they said, “This fellow does not cast out demons except by Beelzebub, the ruler of the demons.” 25 But Jesus knew their thoughts, and said to them: “Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand. 26 If Satan casts out Satan, he is divided against himself. How then will his kingdom stand? 27 And if I cast out demons by Beelzebub, by whom do your sons cast them out? Therefore they shall be your judges. 28 But if I cast out demons by the Spirit of God, surely the kingdom of God has come upon you."

 

[SkyWriting]

These unforgivable sin thoughts are getting out of hand. It's becoming more than just a doubt. Whenever I try to convince myself that Jesus is God and not the devil, my mind will twist it and turn it into a reason why the opposite is true. I'm honestly worried this is what I actually believe now. I don't know how to get out of this. Honestly, I feel nothing can change this. Nothing can convince me. Even if God/Jesus Himself came down and told me, I would probably still doubt and think it was some illusion or deception from the devil. Even if I was standing before God in heaven, standing in all of His glory, and He told me Jesus is His son, I would probably still doubt it. This isn't like OCD at all. The questions I have and all the "proofs" my mind has come up with to convince me that Jesus is the devil all seem logical. I don't know what to do. If it was OCD, I'm pretty sure the doubts and arguments and stuff would be irrational and wouldn't make any logical sense. However, in this case the arguments and stuff seem pretty rational. I'm honestly convinced that even if I didn't have OCD, I would still have these doubts. If they even are doubts. I'm pretty sure they're more than doubts now. People have said that the unforgivable sin was unique, in that only people who saw Jesus perform miracles and then concluded that He was satan or whatever were unforgivable. To be honest, I'm pretty sure that if I were in the Pharisees' place, and I saw Jesus perform His miracles, I would probably conclude the same thing, which would make me unforgivable. This is so stupid. Why did Jesus and the apostles do miracles and stuff to validate their message if satan could just as easily do the same? If there is practically no difference between miracles from God and miracles from satan, then how do we know where the miracle performer is getting there power from? This is where my mind goes every time this happens. I can do this anymore. If this isn't the unforgivable sin, then I don't know what is. This is exactly what the Bible says is unforgivable.

The only unforgivable sin is rejecting the Holy Spirit.
Because this issue concerns you, then you still honor
the Holy Spirit in fear. Fear is fine.

Proverbs 10:27
The fear of the Lord prolongs life, but the years of the wicked will be short.

 

[anna ~ grace]

When these thoughts circle, talk *to* Jesus in your heart, instead of thinking about Him.

 

[Mari17]

Treat the OCD! Get your therapist to help you, or if that isn't possible (and even if it is), learn to do it on your own. Are you confused about how to do that? Or are you just afraid to try? I can break down the steps for you if needed.

 

[bornagain98]

I don't know who you are, but I honestly believe God lead me here to show me that I am not alone with this fear. I can feel this pain on another level. I actually just signed up to this forum for the exact reason of having others who understand OCD discuss these horrible thoughts. This was the first post I stumbled on.

For the past week, I have gone through a very similiar situation that you are, it is so hard to find hope and peace, it's like you wish you could go back to the days when these thoughts did not exist in your head.

Are you getting any treatment for your OCD? I have had it for years and have never been treated for it. I was sure I had OCD after googling the symptoms, I told my family doctor about them and he said I had OCD (although he isnt a professional psychiatrist so i wasn't officially diagnosed), he referred me to a therapist but I never ended up going. OCD is UNWANTED thoughts, you get me? Unwanted. You do not want this thought, you don't want it at all, neither do I. If you hate these thoughts, if they are not pleasing unto you, if they break your heart like they do mine, then it just shows that you still honor and love God. Please get help, the devil knows you have OCD and he can use that against you. OCD can be tricky and make you feel like this is really you.

I wish I had more advice to give you, but I am still struggling myself. I find that talking about this issue takes away it's power over me. I feel like when you are alone in your head, the devil can get in your ear and convince you that this is you.

Do you have good Christian guidance in your life? For me, that is my mother. When I tell my mother these thoughts and how much they bother me, it helps so much. She gives me good godly advice and it really helps ease my anxiety.

I suggest you talk to whoever in your life you have found gives you good Christian advice, if you don't feel comfortable talking with others in person, find someone on the internet (Christian) to open up to (like on this forum, etc.)

I am so sorry that you are suffering, but just know that being open about your suffering can really help others, like myself, know they are not alone. Jesus loves you and He knows you hate this struggle and this battle.

If it is a comfort to you, just know I am praying for you, praying hard