Am I a fool for standing up for myself?

Charles Watson-Wentworth · Jun 23, 2019

Hello everyone, I have a story that I want to share with you and I want your input on it because I don't know what to think.

To start off with, I'd like to tell you about my cousin and how he has anything to do with this situation. To give you a little background information, he was my best friend. I went to his house and me and him would Play Halo together. We would always play games together and do a lot of stuff together outside as well as inside. This lasted for some years while I lived close to him. Well, when I moved away from Ohio to North Carolina (due to personal situations that were not in my control), I lost contact with him and we didn't speak for about 2 years. Well, upon visiting him again back in Ohio after getting a vacation from my job here in North Carolina and getting my living situation under control, he had some new friends that I didn't know about and I greeted them quite well. Well, I couldn't stay long and had to leave so he invited me to a chat room called Discord so we could still talk to each other and so I went back home to my job.

And so when I got home, I would always make sure to contact him and his friends when I got off of work so I would be able to communicate with them. Well, this lasted for about 4 months maybe until things started to get rocky. One day I had gotten onto Discord and started talking like usual and my cousin's 2 friends who were on the same Discord chatroom wanted to act superior to me and act opinionated towards me. I asked why they were doing that and they simply said "because I can". Along with this, they wanted to tell me how my political opinion was unfavorable to them and how I had a bad taste in video games. Furthermore, they wanted to explain to me how the government worked and how their political ideology worked better and how mine sucked. Well, this didn't sit well with me and I told my cousin about it. His response? "oh well, that's just them" and so I simply turned the other cheek and continued being in the chatroom hoping that they just had a bad day or something. Well, that didn't work as it happened again 2 weeks later, except that it was full-blown arguing all because of an opinion that I had said (which was no different that then other 4 months worth of opinions that I said before). And yet again I asked my cousin why they were acting that way. His response? "that's just them". And so I got really ticked off at that and told him a piece of my mind about his mean friends and it wasn't very Christian at all. And as a matter of fact, I've never even said such mean things even to my worst enemy. And well, my cousin didn't take it lightly and he said some mean things back. And so we argued for about 2 days with his friends involved and I told them how they shouldn't act harsh towards me for no reason and they were saying how I was just sensitive and I said that no human on earth can act as mean as you all do, and a whole bunch of other things.

Finally, I got tired of arguing so I left the chatroom and blocked all of them so they wouldn't communicate with me. Well, my cousin had my phone number and he continued to argue and I just said to leave me alone before I get the police involved for harassing me so he did. All 3 of them are ages 15 to 17 so it really doesn't bother me and all of their threats and how they're going to beat me up when I come to Ohio don't bother me, and I don't care. I'm 37 years old, I've got better things to do.

Anyhow though, I wanted to ask you all what I should have done differently. Was I fool for standing up for myself or should I have kept quiet? I wasn't going to stand having 2 random people that I only met once and whom are 800 miles away up in Ohio act opinionated towards me and the other one act mean to me just because I'm a Christian (they insulted me for being Christian and said that Satanism is better). And I sure wasn't going to put up with them telling me that my religion is false and their false religion is true and I wasn't going to stand being in there while they were being offensive by telling 9/11 victim jokes, Jewish jokes, racist jokes, and all types of other horrible stuff that would be inappropriate to mention. Likewise, I wasn't going to stand having them tell me that being in the Constitution Party was stupid and that Libretarainism is better (which goes with them hating the Bible because they think rules and regulation and such is stupid). After awhile my cousin even joined in on their side and all 3 of them were bashing me. I just got sick of it. Their millennial "meme" culture and their lack of being decent and kind was all the more of a reason to leave and to block them.

Anyways though, I just wanted your guys' input on this. They're terrible people honestly and I've never been around such a group of low IQ people who had nothing positive to say about life, anyone around them, or other people. Likewise, I never knew such humans can be so immature. One of them was cynical as well and the other one was just opinionated and it was annoying. It was all just opinions to them and arguing just so they could say "I won an argument against you" when timing called for it. My cousin also hates me as well for standing up for myself but I don't care. What I have to say is worth more to me than a lifelong friendship I say. I only stayed in that chatroom to talk to my cousin, not his immature friends.

Should I stay away from them and my cousin? I've got friends here in North Carolina who don't act like this at all and they act mature, should I just hang out with them and keep my nose to the grindstone with my job and not worry about my cousin and his friends in Ohio and just hang out with my friends here in North Carolina?

Thanks.

Monksailor · Jun 23, 2019

ALL of these BOYS are young enough to be your children. They are not your peers. They are still becoming men or women. You have been an adult for longer than any of them have been alive. Of course there will be many generational and cultural differences. Unless you are trying to descend in maturity and responsibility to be at their level, you cannot expect for you and them to be compadres. Now, if you believe in the dysfunctional type of parenting such as the show, "Gilmore Girls" emulates then your perspective is alien to me and I can't help.

Albion · Jun 23, 2019

Charles Watson-Wentworth said:
Should I stay away from them and my cousin?

Yes. Maybe give the cousin another chance in a few years. Forget about those other guys.

just hang out with my friends here in North Carolina?

Yes again.

Charles Watson-Wentworth · Jun 23, 2019

Monksailor said:
ALL of these BOYS are young enough to be your children. They are not your peers. They are still becoming men or women. You have been an adult for longer than any of them have been alive. Of course there will be many generational and cultural differences. Unless you are trying to descend in maturity and responsibility to be at their level, you cannot expect for you and them to be compadres. Now, if you believe in the dysfunctional type of parenting such as the show, "Gilmore Girls" emulates then your perspective is alien to me and I can't help.

I was just trying to be nice to them. That's all. I might be 37 but I do like video games and I do go to gaming conventions and such. They're not all that mature. I was just asking the question because I can't really figure out what to do other than blow it off and ignore it but I know someone else might have a different answer and I'd like to know what it is. That's all. They're just my cousins friends. I relate a lot to people of different ages on video games it seems and computers, no clue why but I do. They're all friends of the family, but this situation was just rough on me. It's just something that I've never experienced before. I never knew such people could exist.

Monksailor · Jun 23, 2019

CW-W, You NEVER shared any of the conversations in detail but you asked our opinion regarding them. You ONLY shared your take on the conversations in a subjective manner. It would have been pure foolishness for me to qualify your position. FB is a good place to get into a clique or group of "agreeable" "friends" who will just "like" whatever you say if you are on their "friends list."

Well, you got my sought answer for what it is worth to your situation. You are welcome. I gave it much time and consideration; esp the LONG read of your post!

You informed us twice that it is NOT just his friends but ALSO your cousin you contend with.

It would seem to me that you would not have time for this fantasy video game world anymore, esp at age 37. I was just talking to a young man cashier around 20 the other day. I had asked about some offer on a can of those stacked potato chips about this warrior looking type guy on the can. He explained that it was relevant to some video game he USED TO play with friends online. It was interesting to learn all that kids can do with all of the remote functionality and how some main frame can coordinate all of their moves and generate multiple images from each player's perspective and how apparently high he had climbed in the ranks worldwide, BUT then he added that he grew up into reality and had no time for it now that he was working for a living.

Monksailor · Jun 23, 2019

If you and your friends are into the fighting or warrior type of games in which you go for the "reality" type of experience you should give it a REAL work out and join the Special Forces, Green Beret, or Navy Seals and tel them you want some REAL action, not just a fantasy where if you get "killed" you're REALLY still alive. We NEED good soldiers in those positions who are willing to risk their lives for our country, REALLY.

Monksailor · Jun 23, 2019

CW-W, Another option if you like to put your life on the line and it is much more nobler and dangerous than the jobs I mentioned before and will earn you a high reward for eternity if you are a believer/follower in/of Christ is shown in this song/video in which this very popular (a few yrs ago) Contemporary Christian singer/composer, Twila Paris, presents:

You can also watch a movie about the same event shown on the video entitled, "End of the Spear:" https://www.amazon.com/Spear-Based-Incredible-True-Story/dp/B00LU1YNC4 and the other great movie portrayed is "Chariots of Fire:" Chariots of Fire .

Monksailor · Jun 23, 2019

I apologize CW-W if I may have been too hard on you but I am sure that you have heard this REALITY vs Fantasy world of vain imagination dialog before if you have been caught up in this Fantasy Video Game world this long. Please allow me to share another experience which I have had in this area of consideration. In '06 my military unit was deployed into real combat to Iraq and our unit's mission was essentially to work the front lines; the IED infested roads. When we were deployed we all took PFT (physical fitness tests) to evaluate our readiness for REAL combat at the onset of our mobilization training period. My platoon had 54 soldiers, the overwhelming majority under 30 and most of that group under 25. I was the oldest at 52. I tied for the highest score and the soldier who I tied with was a State Trooper 20 years younger than me who was also not in the largest and youngest group. We both knew that sitting on your spanking spot tripping out into fantasy land did not prepare one for real life's circumstances demanding high physical performance and face-to-face transaction-al processing. At another time further into our training another soldier and I were paired together to run the advancing under live fire course. We were the two oldest soldiers in a company of 450 soldiers. He and I performed the most difficult and demanding section of the course, the low crawl, in the most effective manner (all ground-side parts of body in constant contact with ground AND no elbows, heels, butts in the air and weapon laid across back of forearm) and shortest time of the day and our days lasted 14-15 hours of hard training. All soldiers are trained in the proper low-crawl in basic training when first inducted so the younger ones not only had the youthful physique but didn't have to remember back decades to their training on the low-crawl. One night in the barracks I almost had one of these younger soldiers get himself hurt REAL bad when confronted by an older S.Sgt. (me) who questioned the validity of him sitting on his soft spot playing fantasy games on his bunk towards preparing him to be REALLY/personally/bodily engaged in combat with REAL, FINAL, death conflict-possibly coming home to Mom in pieces in a casket at stake. I could not believe it. That young man was so deluded he was screaming, "Yes, this IS real life!" Pointing to the gaming video on his bunk. Not only could he have easily gotten himself killed in combat but everyone around him.

Charles Watson-Wentworth · Jun 23, 2019

Monksailor said:
I apologize CW-W if I may have been too hard on you but I am sure that you have heard this REALITY vs Fantasy world of vain imagination dialog before if you have been caught up in this Fantasy Video Game world this long. Please allow me to share another experience which I have had in this area of consideration. In '06 my military unit was deployed into real combat to Iraq and our unit's mission was essentially to work the front lines; the IED infested roads. When we were deployed we all took PFT (physical fitness tests) to evaluate our readiness for REAL combat at the onset of our mobilization training period. My platoon had 54 soldiers, the overwhelming majority under 30 and most of that group under 25. I was the oldest at 52. I tied for the highest score and the soldier who I tied with was a State Trooper 20 years younger than me who was also not in the largest and youngest group. We both knew that sitting on your spanking spot tripping out into fantasy land did not prepare one for real life's circumstances demanding high physical performance and face-to-face transaction-al processing. At another time further into our training another soldier and I were paired together to run the advancing under live fire course. We were the two oldest soldiers in a company of 450 soldiers. He and I performed the most difficult and demanding section of the course, the low crawl, in the most effective manner (all ground-side parts of body in constant contact with ground AND no elbows, heels, butts in the air and weapon laid across back of forearm) and shortest time of the day and our days lasted 14-15 hours of hard training. All soldiers are trained in the proper low-crawl in basic training when first inducted so the younger ones not only had the youthful physique but didn't have to remember back decades to their training on the low-crawl. One night in the barracks I almost had one of these younger soldiers get himself hurt REAL bad when confronted by an older S.Sgt. (me) who questioned the validity of him sitting on his soft spot playing fantasy games on his bunk towards preparing him to be REALLY/personally/bodily engaged in combat with REAL, FINAL, death conflict-possibly coming home to Mom in pieces in a casket at stake. I could not believe it. That young man was so deluded he was screaming, "Yes, this IS real life!" Pointing to the gaming video on his bunk. Not only could he have easily gotten himself killed in combat but everyone around him.

I'll be honest with you. I grew up doing nothing. I grew up in my room where my mom left me alone and told me whatever to do and she banished me to my room and I did nothing all day except watch TV. And me being autistic, I never had enough coordination to do any sports and I was never confident enough to do anything like be a leader at some club or do after school activities all because I had a mental problem. The games I played, well, I only did it because that's all I ever did and it was all that I was good at, so I might have a child-like mindset because, well, I'm autistic and I am not mature and I'll never be mature, even if I get well into my 70's and 80's. It's a curse rather than a gift and I hate that I have it and I hate that God decided that I should have such a mental illness when I should have been normal like everyone else. Maybe then I wouldn't been struggling with depression and losing my religion because I think too much and I don't see God anywhere. And maybe that's why I was fighting with these 15, 17, and 16 year old children, it's because I don't know what to do because I don't have enough mental capacity to do so to figure it out. God gifts us all with gifts as well as flaws and my flaw is that I can't think like normal people and I don't have any gifts. So yes, you may have went into battle and fought and such, but I would never make it. And likewise if I was with Christ, I'd probably act more mature and figure out what I need to do. But since I can't do that and I have autism, I guess I'm just an immature idiot who doesn't see God's gifts and I'm doomed to hell. And also, if I went into battle, I'd get shot first because I'd be too stupid to get into cover and I'd probably have PTSD or something of the like because I'm already sensitive like those 15, 16, and 17 year old children said that I was. I can't take criticism and God is not answering my prayers, no matter how much I pray. My prayer is that I'll feel happiness. Hell, even I have a job right now that's below my skill level. You think I could do something that's at my skill level? No. I'm not coordinated enough. Cutting grass? Anybody can do that.

Yennora · Jun 23, 2019

There is nothing wrong in meeting young people. You can meet an 18 years old that is as wise as a 30 years old.

However, you need to track the behaviour. If the person is always sarcastic? Not serious? Doesn't know how to respect your opinion? Late on times? Cuss a lot? Bring sexually inappropriate stuff in the conversation? Then you need to leave. Once this happens. You can forgive but don't stay.

Why? Because this is a sign of immaturity from them and once spotted they won't simply change in a split second.

I think you should have left since the first time they bothered you or you sensed something wrong.

Charles Watson-Wentworth · Jun 23, 2019

Yennora said:
There is nothing wrong in meeting young people. You can meet an 18 years old that is as wise as a 30 years old.

However, you need to track the behaviour. If the person is always sarcastic? Not serious? Doesn't know how to respect your opinion? Late on times? Cuss a lot? Bring sexually inappropriate stuff in the conversation? Then you need to leave. Once this happens. You can forgive but don't stay.

Why? Because this is a sign of immaturity from them and once spotted they won't simply change in a split second.

I think you should have left since the first time they bothered you or you sensed something wrong.

I'll make sure to stay away for sure. That's a sure thing. I stayed to please my cousin but it was a bad choice on my part. Never have I ever met such immature people as them.

Andrew77 · Jun 24, 2019

Charles Watson-Wentworth said:
Hello everyone, I have a story that I want to share with you and I want your input on it because I don't know what to think.

To start off with, I'd like to tell you about my cousin and how he has anything to do with this situation. To give you a little background information, he was my best friend. I went to his house and me and him would Play Halo together. We would always play games together and do a lot of stuff together outside as well as inside. This lasted for some years while I lived close to him. Well, when I moved away from Ohio to North Carolina (due to personal situations that were not in my control), I lost contact with him and we didn't speak for about 2 years. Well, upon visiting him again back in Ohio after getting a vacation from my job here in North Carolina and getting my living situation under control, he had some new friends that I didn't know about and I greeted them quite well. Well, I couldn't stay long and had to leave so he invited me to a chat room called Discord so we could still talk to each other and so I went back home to my job.

And so when I got home, I would always make sure to contact him and his friends when I got off of work so I would be able to communicate with them. Well, this lasted for about 4 months maybe until things started to get rocky. One day I had gotten onto Discord and started talking like usual and my cousin's 2 friends who were on the same Discord chatroom wanted to act superior to me and act opinionated towards me. I asked why they were doing that and they simply said "because I can". Along with this, they wanted to tell me how my political opinion was unfavorable to them and how I had a bad taste in video games. Furthermore, they wanted to explain to me how the government worked and how their political ideology worked better and how mine sucked. Well, this didn't sit well with me and I told my cousin about it. His response? "oh well, that's just them" and so I simply turned the other cheek and continued being in the chatroom hoping that they just had a bad day or something. Well, that didn't work as it happened again 2 weeks later, except that it was full-blown arguing all because of an opinion that I had said (which was no different that then other 4 months worth of opinions that I said before). And yet again I asked my cousin why they were acting that way. His response? "that's just them". And so I got really ticked off at that and told him a piece of my mind about his mean friends and it wasn't very Christian at all. And as a matter of fact, I've never even said such mean things even to my worst enemy. And well, my cousin didn't take it lightly and he said some mean things back. And so we argued for about 2 days with his friends involved and I told them how they shouldn't act harsh towards me for no reason and they were saying how I was just sensitive and I said that no human on earth can act as mean as you all do, and a whole bunch of other things.

Finally, I got tired of arguing so I left the chatroom and blocked all of them so they wouldn't communicate with me. Well, my cousin had my phone number and he continued to argue and I just said to leave me alone before I get the police involved for harassing me so he did. All 3 of them are ages 15 to 17 so it really doesn't bother me and all of their threats and how they're going to beat me up when I come to Ohio don't bother me, and I don't care. I'm 37 years old, I've got better things to do.

Anyhow though, I wanted to ask you all what I should have done differently. Was I fool for standing up for myself or should I have kept quiet? I wasn't going to stand having 2 random people that I only met once and whom are 800 miles away up in Ohio act opinionated towards me and the other one act mean to me just because I'm a Christian (they insulted me for being Christian and said that Satanism is better). And I sure wasn't going to put up with them telling me that my religion is false and their false religion is true and I wasn't going to stand being in there while they were being offensive by telling 9/11 victim jokes, Jewish jokes, racist jokes, and all types of other horrible stuff that would be inappropriate to mention. Likewise, I wasn't going to stand having them tell me that being in the Constitution Party was stupid and that Libretarainism is better (which goes with them hating the Bible because they think rules and regulation and such is stupid). After awhile my cousin even joined in on their side and all 3 of them were bashing me. I just got sick of it. Their millennial "meme" culture and their lack of being decent and kind was all the more of a reason to leave and to block them.

Anyways though, I just wanted your guys' input on this. They're terrible people honestly and I've never been around such a group of low IQ people who had nothing positive to say about life, anyone around them, or other people. Likewise, I never knew such humans can be so immature. One of them was cynical as well and the other one was just opinionated and it was annoying. It was all just opinions to them and arguing just so they could say "I won an argument against you" when timing called for it. My cousin also hates me as well for standing up for myself but I don't care. What I have to say is worth more to me than a lifelong friendship I say. I only stayed in that chatroom to talk to my cousin, not his immature friends.

Should I stay away from them and my cousin? I've got friends here in North Carolina who don't act like this at all and they act mature, should I just hang out with them and keep my nose to the grindstone with my job and not worry about my cousin and his friends in Ohio and just hang out with my friends here in North Carolina?

Thanks.

There are times I think you should stand up for yourself. I do believe there is a time and place to confront people. Like if this guy was in your house, and mouthing off, I would let him have it.

But in this particular case... you are dealing with pathetic snotty brats. They can't hardly walk yet, and you let them get to you? Mute them. You are too old to let someone that has the mental capacity of a toddler, bother you. Don't let people steal your joy.

Charles Watson-Wentworth · Jun 24, 2019

Andrew77 said:
There are times I think you should stand up for yourself. I do believe there is a time and place to confront people. Like if this guy was in your house, and mouthing off, I would let him have it.

But in this particular case... you are dealing with pathetic snotty brats. They can't hardly walk yet, and you let them get to you? Mute them. You are too old to let someone that has the mental capacity of a toddler, bother you. Don't let people steal your joy.

I won't. I let it get to me because I have autism and it's hard to brush some things off. I did brush it off like you said and I left the chat but it still bothers me.

Monksailor · Jun 24, 2019

Thank you very, very much CW-W for sharing that you were autistic. It makes the difference of day and night in understanding your position so that we can try to help you.

Charles Watson-Wentworth · Jun 24, 2019

Monksailor said:
Thank you very, very much CW-W for sharing that you were autistic. It makes the difference of day and night in understanding your position so that we can try to help you.

It does for sure. It's just sometimes I don't think that I'm up to par with everyone else because my mind works differently than the minds of others and I just wish that I could act normal like everyone else.

Monksailor · Jun 24, 2019

CW-W, Gaming is OK as long as you don't let it become an obsessive addiction or you don't lose your anchor on reality, so I would just say to you to always watch out for that. You DO have a lot to give others whether you realize it or not right now. I ask your forgiveness, if I have hurt you. Please try to remember to inform others that you are challenged with autism when you ask others for help with personal relationships online. When you don't give us all the tools we need to work with we won't be able to do a very good job of helping you, in fact we could just mess it all up, like me.

I would add that at no time is it right to physically hurt someone even if they are in your house being real mean unless they are trying to hurt you or a loved one and you are unable to escape. It is OK if you are not good with physical coordination and such but keep that in mind when you might be tempted to defend yourself physically and there is an escape. People ARE mean, in general. I am sorry that you are just finding it out, apparently. God tells us that the human heart is mean and evil in Jeremiah 17:9 AND Jesus promises us that if we follow Him in His ways people WILL hate us in Matthew 10:22 because people who do evil hate the light John 3:20 and Jesus is the Light of the world John 8:12. It is OK for being hated for doing good. It hurts but God sees it all and knows it all and is right there with you as He always is if you have received Jesus into your heart.

I am a senior citizen now and have had 2 strokes and had to have major open heart surgery less than 2 yrs ago (all after my Iraq deployment) and all of the hard impact and heavy load type of work I have done all of my life has taken a great toll on all of my joints which are now limited and very painful at times. I have to take 3 different meds just to get a good night's sleep due to nerve and arthritis pain. I advise you on how to avoid a physical confrontation from my own current experience. I cannot do what a lot of men my age can do. They had jobs which did not beat their body up like mine did. Some can run marathons but that is because they don't have decades and decades of trauma to their body and that is OK but I feel bad sometimes. I wish I could but I cannot. I am limited. I am having to learn a new way of living life with much less physical activity and it is SOOOO hard! I love the outdoors and always since a child loved to do so much outside but now I cannot. It is hard! But the Lord is helping me to be happy at times anyway and it will get better as He helps me to learn new things to do inside. Being happy and being joyful are two different things. Being happy is dependent upon good things happening which we like BUT we can be joyful when bad things happen to us as our joy comes from within. It is an attitude of the heart. How we chose to look at life. If we have Jesus with us we can always be joyful because He loves us and He is more important and bigger than anyone else and He said that He came to give us an abundant or full life in John 10:10. CW-W, there are MANY things you are able to do. You just haven't discovered them, yet, and Jesus will help you as He is helping me. May you always sense the presence of our Savior, Defender, and our Friend who is All-Powerful, All-Knowing, and All-PRESENT

Monksailor · Jun 24, 2019

CW-W, Your Mother was NOT nice to you. I am sorry. She should have spent a lot of time with you as a child. All children NEED that nurture-ment. Some, if not all, of your relating to people problems may not be because of autism. It might be because of a problem a lot of "normal"

people struggle with. There are those people like me who grew up in what counselors call an "imprisonment" condition and they, we, never were allowed to learn about how to relate to others very well or how devious and mean they could be. They have a lot of very mean fun "playing around" with us thinking it is our fault that we are so "stupid" and it is not our fault. We were just not given a chance to learn and it is so HARD to learn after you are an adult as things can get so much more serious, even deadly. I received Jesus Christ as my Savior during my last few months in the Army back during Nam when I was 21. He brought me to my first and only loving Father in heaven. I started to experience His wonderful love and forgiveness and struggled with knowing how to show it to others who'd always been hurting me. I went to a Christian counselor who helped me very much in this area. If you are able, I strongly suggest that you also go to a counselor to get help in this area. It sounds like you did not grow up learning how to relate very well, either. Most people take their socialization process for granted and ignorantly assume all should be where they are in being able to effectively relate to and deal with others. They are not and at no fault of their own. But if we Jesus in our heart and we seek help Jesus can help us to become just as good as them.

Monksailor · Jun 24, 2019

CW-W, During my 30's and 40's I cut grass for a living for "Nice'n Neat Lawn Care." I did good work.

What is normal???

For Christians, our social NORM or model is Jesus Christ's behavior. NONE of us are normal. We are ALL (anyway all who REALLY love Jesus) trying and working every day to shed our old selfish ways and become more and more like Jesus, normal.

Monksailor · Jun 24, 2019

In relating to others about ANYTHING when we are a Christian we have to endeavor to remember and show that our standing up to them is done with the armor of God found in Ephes 6:10 and on, I believe. We must never fight or defend ourselves as much as our right to be treated as one of God's children whom He loved enough to slaughter His only Son so that we could become one of His rightful and beloved children. We represent our loving and gracious Father in our dealings with others. Regarding those who tortured and killed our Savior, God the Son (who ROSE forever from even that death), our Lord said, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." All of the armor mentioned in Ephes 6 of God is defensive except the sword, which is the Word of God as Jesus shows us how to utilize when satan attacked Him three times and a few verses later PRAYER is is offered as another active weapon implying utilizing the shied of Faith in that. We do not wrestle against flesh and blood. It is much more than that. We wrestle against what evil spiritual powers will work inside of us in order to tempt us to do that which we should not do.

That which is beyond our understanding or ability God is right there to handle. He promises to NEVER leave us or forsake us. We forget that or in our pride want to do it on our own sometimes and try to do things in our own power which is very limited and fail. We say God is not there but He has always been there. We just wanted to do it on our own and strutted out in front of him like a child in a dept. store and lost sight of His leading and wouldn't let Him meet the problem ahead of us.

Monksailor · Jun 24, 2019

CW-W, If my making your name shorter for typing (I type very slow) bothers you please let me know. I have never had contact as sustained and intimate with a person challenged with autism as I have you. Thank you. It has been educational. I am quite ignorant of many things, and I just searched out autism and here is part of what I am learning for anyone else here who may be as ignorant as me on autism specifics. General characteristics are:

"Difficulty with communication and interaction with other people
Restricted interests and repetitive behaviors
Symptoms that hurt the person’s ability to function properly in school, work, and other areas of life", and

"Although people with ASD experience many challenges, they may also have many strengths, including:

Being able to learn things in detail and remember information for long periods of time
Being strong visual and auditory learners
Excelling in math, science, music, or art"

This is from: NIMH » Autism Spectrum Disorder for anyone who would like to educate themselves further.

So, it is likely that most of your challenges with these three young men are due to ASD, but I will add that being isolated in your room with little love being felt and virtually no social interaction did NOT help. If you see a councelor make sure that they are also aware of your isolation as a child otherwise they may attribute or blame all of your relational difficulty to the ASD, which I do not believe is the case. I am NOT a counselor or anything close to such a professional status but I advise you to make sure that they understand how isolated you were as a child. Some of your problems may be just due to a lack of familiarity with and experience in the social realm.

Have you tried to see if you have any special abilities with Math, Science, Music, or Art? When one is made to feel that they are insignificant, unloved, incapable, worthless, and the like by their parents as children, they are imprinted with that matrix and think it themselves and usually live a life trying to fit that mold. They don't try too hard to excel or aspire to a greater capacity. It is possible that you may not have ventured yet into a great discovery of some wonderful ability God is waiting on you to discover.

Am I a fool for standing up for myself?

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2022 UPDATE: I regret any UNBIBLICAL posts I made.

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The walking accident

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