Why do a lot of people think men only want sex?

VCR-2000 · May 31, 2019

It's in movies, TV and everywhere else in general society. People teach and think that men (compared to women) are primal or only want sex, when that's not always true in most cases and there is nothing wrong with wanting sex at all to begin with. Don't even get me started on the Christian religion and church, which I would have thought men and women were created equal in image anyway. Didn't he?

I think it's understandable why many have decided "men going their own way", I can see where many of their points are coming from.

com7fy8 · May 31, 2019

Hi VCR (c: you said:
People teach and think that men (compared to women) are primal or only want sex,

Possibly men who do want only sex are the ones in everybody's faces, so people think they represent all men.

VCR-2000 said:
there is nothing wrong with wanting sex at all to begin with.

It can be good, but it is not good to want sex with the intention of only using a person for pleasure. I think it needs to be part of a balanced diet of different enjoyments of intimacy.

VCR-2000 said:
I would have thought men and women were created equal in image anyway.

I would say equal but specialized in what each can do. Also . . . they fell into sin. So, now things can look differently than how the man and woman were, before the fall.

One might say guys are all about sex, and so they can act like such fools. And why, then, did God make them like this, if they are supposed to be able to lead and head a lady???? Well, maybe they were more complex before the fall, so there was more to break beyond repair . . . like a desktop computer falling from a second story window, versus a more practically designed computer-like I-phone which is more resilient falling. And so women can seem stronger and more real, and more able to relate. So, that is not inequality, at the beginning, if it did happen like that; but each was adapted for different functions. But more complex design can be more breakable, and its complexity does not at all mean superiority.

Love is the same in each person who can love. Nothing compares.

Of the Kingdom · May 31, 2019

The Christian scriptures do make some distinctions between men and women, but *not* with regard to sexuality. One verse, 1 Corinthians 7:4 (WEB), says:
The wife doesn’t have authority over her own body, but the husband. Likewise also the husband doesn’t have authority over his own body, but the wife.
Exactly the same consideration for both.

Another verse, Galatians 3:28 (WEB), says:
There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

So it would appear men and women should be treated the same unless specific instructions say otherwise.

Historically, women have been treated poorly in secular society, and to Christianity's shame, believers have often done nearly as bad.

Victorian England is notorious for the fact that sexuality was treated as if something evil. It was generally not talked about, and women guilty of sexual impropriety were greatly shamed, while men were generally allowed and almost expected to stray as long as it wasn't too public.

Women naturally are more careful about sexuality because of the risk of pregnancy, so are not as likely to go looking as men, regardless of their desire.

The fact that at one time medical studies suggested that [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] was unnatural in women, and everyone pretended that women had little desire even in marriage, is outrageous. It is unclear how responsible Christianity was for this, but at minimum Christians generally did fail to make an effort to overcome the imbalance.

Strathos · May 31, 2019

It's a stereotype reinforced by cultural norms.

Sketcher · Jun 1, 2019

Men don't only want sex. Most of us also want bacon. If I were to be propositioned by a woman of loose morals, I'd probably turn her down. If I'm seeing a good deal on bacon, I'm going to be eating a generous portion of bacon.

Ken-1122 · Jun 1, 2019

VCR-2000 said:
It's in movies, TV and everywhere else in general society. People teach and think that men (compared to women) are primal or only want sex, when that's not always true in most cases and there is nothing wrong with wanting sex at all to begin with. Don't even get me started on the Christian religion and church, which I would have thought men and women were created equal in image anyway. Didn't he?

I think it's understandable why many have decided "men going their own way", I can see where many of their points are coming from.

Ken-1122 · Jun 1, 2019

VCR-2000 said:
It's in movies, TV and everywhere else in general society. People teach and think that men (compared to women) are primal or only want sex, when that's not always true in most cases and there is nothing wrong with wanting sex at all to begin with. Don't even get me started on the Christian religion and church, which I would have thought men and women were created equal in image anyway. Didn't he?

I think it's understandable why many have decided "men going their own way", I can see where many of their points are coming from.

I think it's because on average men are more interested in sex than women. Yeah there are always exceptions to the rules, but there is a reason why men far outnumber women desiring inappropriate contentography. The 1# consumer of playboy magazine was straight men. The #1 consumer of playgirl magazine was Gay men.

MehGuy · Jun 2, 2019

Comes down to evolving differently. Women have to endure 9 months of pregnancy while men do not. Women have to be much more choosy because their ability to spread their genetics dwarfs that of men.

Reminds me of that OKcupid study where women found 80% of the men to be below average. While men had more of an even bell curve when judging female attractiveness. No one's fault, just part of our reproductive strategies. There are pros and cons to being at the receiving end of either gender.

Of course these are averages, some men have lower sex drives and some women have higher sex drives.

BioLeap · Jun 2, 2019

VCR-2000 said:
It's in movies, TV and everywhere else in general society. People teach and think that men (compared to women) are primal or only want sex, when that's not always true in most cases and there is nothing wrong with wanting sex at all to begin with. Don't even get me started on the Christian religion and church, which I would have thought men and women were created equal in image anyway. Didn't he?

I think it's understandable why many have decided "men going their own way", I can see where many of their points are coming from.

Yeah, why are Christian's so afraid of sex? What's with that.

VCR-2000 · Jun 3, 2019

Ken-1122 said:
I think it's because on average men are more interested in sex than women. Yeah there are always exceptions to the rules, but there is a reason why men far outnumber women desiring inappropriate contentography. The 1# consumer of playboy magazine was straight men. The #1 consumer of playgirl magazine was Gay men.

Yeah, but being interested in sex is "weakness" anyway.

Ken-1122 · Jun 3, 2019

VCR-2000 said:
Yeah, but being interested in sex is "weakness" anyway.

By whose standards; Yours?

VCR-2000 · Jun 3, 2019

Ken-1122 said:
By whose standards; Yours?

I'm talking about the standards that Judeo-Christianity and churches in general seem to indirectly or explicitly have.

Kylie · Jun 16, 2019

While I'm aware of quite a few women who are just as interested in casual sex as the stereotypical man, I think it's important to look at the two-fold cost of sex.

Namely, the cost of having sex is different for females (of any species) than it is for males. And that happens because it is generally the female who invests more time and effort into the actual creation of the offspring. It's the female who lays the egg, or gives birth, and raises the offspring, typically (yes, I know many species where both parents abandon the offspring immediately, or where both parents help to raise the offspring). But typically, if the female makes a poor mate choice, then she is stuck with using the resources required to produce the offspring and then raise the offspring. For the male, if he makes a poor mate choice, he's lost just a few easily replaceable sperm.

ANd it generally benefits males to be promiscuous, in a reproductive sense. The male who engages in sex often, with many different partners, can produce many offspring, all carrying his genes. This is beneficial to his genes, since a higher number of offspring will increase the chances that some of them will live long enough to reproduce themselves. But a female can't produce anywhere near as many offspring as a male, so she must make a much more careful decision about who she mates with.

I know that this doesn't take into account the things that are uniquely Human, such as birth control, but it's something to keep in mind, I think.

Kylie · Jun 16, 2019

Ken-1122 said:
I think it's because on average men are more interested in sex than women. Yeah there are always exceptions to the rules, but there is a reason why men far outnumber women desiring inappropriate contentography. The 1# consumer of playboy magazine was straight men. The #1 consumer of playgirl magazine was Gay men.

Yet women are by far the biggest consumers of romance novels. I think that speaks more to the fact that men and women respond to erotica in different formats.

Ken-1122 · Jun 16, 2019

Kylie said:
Yet women are by far the biggest consumers of romance novels. I think that speaks more to the fact that men and women respond to erotica in different formats.

I agree. I think women are more interested in romance, and men are more interested in sex.

VCR-2000 · Jun 16, 2019

Kylie said:
Yet women are by far the biggest consumers of romance novels. I think that speaks more to the fact that men and women respond to erotica in different formats.

Yeah, but men being more interested in sex is becoming more attacked in society as something in itself bad. I know that it isn't that cut-and-dry but a movement does exist. This is the same for both the secular world and Christianity, they just put a slightly different spin on the idea.

Even from those who happen to be so-called "progressive".

JackRT · Jun 16, 2019

Both women and men are shaped by the norms of the society we both live in. It is with great sadness that we are living in a society that is still largely patriarchal.

Pommer · Jun 16, 2019

VCR-2000 said:
Yeah, but being interested in sex is "weakness" anyway.

“Interest in sex” is mostly determined by what your own DNA is telling you. Your DNA needs to make copies of itself, it will then force you into whatever arrangements that might get this accomplished.

So, okay, we also have “free will”, and should be better than just what’s in our DNA, otherwise how can you have a civilized society?

But to characterize one’s own sex-drive as “weakness” misrepresents what’s actually going on.

Kylie · Jun 16, 2019

VCR-2000 said:
Yeah, but men being more interested in sex is becoming more attacked in society as something in itself bad. I know that it isn't that cut-and-dry but a movement does exist. This is the same for both the secular world and Christianity, they just put a slightly different spin on the idea.

Even from those who happen to be so-called "progressive".

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with liking sex. It's not something unique to men; lots of women, including me, enjoy sex.

I think the problem comes from people viewing other people as sex toys with a pulse. I have no interest in being with someone who's only interested in getting their jollies and doesn't care if I get mine too.

VCR-2000 · Jun 20, 2019

I think more young men than young women are virgins these days. The inequality is pretty sad.

Why do a lot of people think men only want sex?

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